Secret Hyena

big feelings; sensitive; feminist; bisexual; high sex drive; misunderstood; unabashedly myself; massive cock (metaphorically)

BDSM Background

The first time I was able to masturbate was from the AB/DL episode of My Strange Addiction. This life chose me! In my late teens/early 20s, I quickly got involved with scary men as an uneducated and sheltered young person. The first IRL ‘daddy’ I met pulled a weapon on me, so I put myself back into the kink closet for close to ten years to focus on building a healthy life for myself. I’m back with years of therapy and discernment skills under my belt.

That being said, I’m ✨inexperienced✨in every way—relationships, sex, kink, all of it. It’s horribly embarrassing. I’m in awe of all the littles on here who can embrace themselves so freely, and I’m intimidated by the caregivers who know what they’re doing. I feel like I’m not little enough to be little and not hardcore enough to be a caregiver.

What I’m Looking For

Generally. To me, ageplay is the deepest expression of love. Please honor my softest parts and give me the honor of taking care of your softest parts. I switch pretty equally between little girl and mommy, and I’m 100% a softie. Because of my vanilla life, it’s much easier for me to access my mommy side, but I deeply crave being little. I don’t desire any negativity in play, though, I understand why that is appealing to others. The sexiest thing is trust. My biggest kink is emotional support. My ultimate fantasy is using ageplay to help us grow as people.

My DMs are open, but due to my demanding job, I really only check Tumblr on weekends, so it may take me a week or so to respond. I’m single, but I don’t view Tumblr as a dating app, as I’m not interested in a long-distance relationship.

Little Side. Being little seeps out of my every pore—for those who know about this dynamic, it’d be very easy to tell I was little if you interacted with me in real life. I wear hairbows and have a Winnie the Pooh backpack instead of a purse. I don’t have a poker face and wear my heart on my sleeve. But actually exposing my little side to another feels almost impossible; I can’t imagine someone actually wanting me to be little. I need a lot of reassurance. Little me is a good girl. As long as I understand and agree with your rules, I want to be an obedient little princess. My little side is very sexual, and I typically use masturbation to get into little space because both are vehicles of joy and self expression. My little interests are identical to what I liked as a child: Barney, Disney (especially Winnie the Pooh and princesses), stuffed animals, reading, and coloring.

Mommy Side. Because of my job (I boss around intelligent attorneys most of the day), my mommy side feels more easily accessible. I’ve been single most of my adult life, and I’m very independent. I largely disrespect men and assume I will dislike them until proven otherwise. I got my tubes tied at 25. I know who I am and what I want. Though being single can be lonely, I’m proud of not settling and being able to enjoy my own company.

While I’ve only been able to explore being a mommy to one person (virtually), it’s such a high. I understand the difficulty of exposing such vulnerability to another, so I want to cherish and nurture that inner child.

Looking back on my vanilla relationships, I was incorporating my mommy side into our dynamic without realizing it. For example, I always take my partners to the bathroom to wash them after sex. I’ve learned this isn’t the norm. But boys are sticky afterwards and need help 🥺

Interests

Vanilla Me. I’m a paralegal in Big Law, and that takes up most of my time. I find my work and the people I work with to be incredibly sexy. As you can probably guess, I’m very Type A and organized. I’m pretty introverted, and I grew up sheltered, so I’m working on trying new things. I write fanfiction and very much identify as a fangirl. I’m extremely close with my family (and cat!) and see them almost every day. Singing is one of my favorite activities, but I keep that to myself. Feeling as much as you can, especially as a result of art, is the point of being alive.

Worldviews. Anyone interacting with my blog under 21 (and ageless profiles) will be blocked. Any Trump supporters, fascists, white supremacists, and transphobes, will be blocked. Fuck AI, fuck the police, fuck ICE, free Palestine, and death to all billionaires.

Ageplay is kink, and I do not support the agere community that is largely propagated by minors and attracts puritanical, immature, and unsafe adults.

Kinks. Diapers (pretty much anything to do with diapers I will likely be into it), ageplay, pegging, fauxcest, DD/lg, MD/lb, MD/lg, all wrapped up in a blanket of gentleness

It’s a song for a tv show, but this just made me realize that it’s been six years since her last album (wow, that flew by—I must be getting old).

She normally releases albums around every 6-7 years—could she be releasing another album soon?? Who knows, but at now I can start thinking of it as a possibility! Imagine. Some of the best music in the history of the universe could be coming in the next few years!

For those who don’t know, Boxlunch is basically grown-up Hot Topic—they sell elevated pop-culture merch—INCLUDING BARNEY THE DINOSAUR!!! Multiple Barney tops!

And this!! What if I had a Barney work lanyard 🙈 I probably won’t…that’s probably too unprofessional. But it’s so cute!!

Thank you! If only there was a way to discuss kink with co-workers in an intellectual way without it being sexual harassment! I’m sure if anyone knew about kink they’d be able to guess I was little 🙈

Omg the other day I was talking with a co-worker about how I’m adopting my primary attorney’s communication habits, and I joked “like father like daughter.”

His response was “like baby, like babysitter.” 😵‍💫

Does He Know What This Is?

1. Gotten a tripple dipper and margarita from Chili’s?

2. Watched Grey’s Anatomy?

3. Watched RuPaul’s Drag Race?

4. Watched Heated Rivalry?

5. Know what Larry Stylinson is?

6. Know what Hobama is?

7. Heard Caleb Hearon’s “Cooper sleep pants” story?

8. Know who Brittany Broski is?

9. Know what the Omegaverse is?

10. Listened to Lana Del Rey sing “Million Dollar Man” in the Budweiser sweater from 2012?

11. Watched the “Ride” music video??

12. Watched Challengers?

13. Know about the Ned Fulmer cheating scandal—know who the Try Guys are??

14. Read about Han Solo and Luke Skywalker exploring each other’s bodies on Hoth?

15. Watched Twilight?

I went on a historical trolley tour yesterday with my friends (2 married couples), and they walked right past me to sit in the back while there was a seat open beside me. We were the last to get on, so we wouldn’t be able to sit all together, but I did not need to be all alone.

Once the trolley started moving and I thought no one would sit by me, I started crying. In public. I tried to hide it. But I planned the event, got the tickets, took everyone to dinner beforehand, bought for everyone, and drove my best friend and her husband. I like treating people! I’m just happy they wanted to go with me!

But I’m single. I’ve been single most of my life. People in relationships don’t know how hard that is. I do most things alone. Why didn’t they realize that I wouldn’t want to do the event alone? I could have gone by myself, like I do a lot of things. Thankfully, one of them realized after a few minutes and came up to sit with me—thank goodness, or I probably would have cried most of the time!