Free and Easy

Aww, I feel so special.

You're my friend, of course.

What is your ringtone exactly?

noot noot, noot noot.

Some mashup from the Internet. It's actually as amazing as you think it is.

Awesome!

I'm blown away by you, my dancing queen. Or king. Whichever you want, really.

I'm what you might call 'easily amused'

Ohhh?! Lemme hear!

The internet is a strange place, which is where I found it.

Oh? Well lay it on me DJ Chase Dawg.

You see, I was going to keep it secret, but for you? Anytime.

Didn’t say date though just said flowers are overrated.

But flowers are nice. Ever smell a store full of them? It's like sensory overload, it's great.

What the hell did you think I meant? Wow ok so this was a big old misunderstanding and confusion. Let’s take it down like a hundred notches and forget everything ever.

Bro, I never said I wanted to date anyone. Just that I like someone.

And I am eleven years older than you. You’re a baby pretty much, it sounds hypocritical because of relationships in my past but I really would just feel weird having sex with you man.

Sex? Bro! No. Whoa. No. What? Bro.

Just…it’ll be weird.

Dude. We passed the weird ship a long time ago. I met you when you were naked. I've seen literally everything you have to offer.

Sorry I think that’d be a little weird if I did. 

What's weird about it?

You think you’re so cute with those dimples huh? Think you can just make everyone love you with them.

Fuck you, I'm precious and you know it;

What? Me punching you in the sternum? Also don’t call me Tom-Tom, it’s so…Ugh I hate that name, Tom. It’s so boring.

Are you going to direct me to where I need to go, Tom-Tom? Maybe I'll go to the lady voice, she's nicer.

Don’t laugh at me Chase. I’ll punch you in the sternum. Won’t be so funny.

It's a natural response, Tom-Tom.