Knives In Society's Side

I have never been open about this..but here is goes because a lot of my old “friends” have been approaching me lately about how I haven’t been going to shows, being active in the scene, and generally giving me shit about how I don’t dress “punk” anymore. But the sad truth is, I was pushed out by the scene I cherished by coming forward with my sexual assault a couple years back..the people who discovered my partially unclothed, limp body under that of another and carried me out of the path of danger didn’t believe me. My friend who’s bed, and boyfriend it happened with didn’t believe me. My partner at the time blamed me when I told him the following week. He spit on me, called me a slut, said I cheated on him, etc. then spent the night with another girl. I no longer felt safe anywhere. When I made this toxicity known I was not met with love or support, I was met with denial and accusations that I was just “out to get them.” And not even with the people involved. People who I thought were my fiends, my family, my rocks all pushed me aside. Called me a liar. Threw things at me when I actually mustered up the courage to go to shows. Even had their girlfriends befriend me just to see if my story had changed. Never had I felt more exiled from something I loved so much. Because when it comes down to it..it’s all blame, shame, and shun until the rapist/sympathizer in question is a friend of yours or in this case, sings in your band/gives you tattoos. Thank you for making me feel apart of something then stealing it all away and making me fear the scene that was once my home. Fuck you all. All you “punks” are pathetic.