sum : peter and wade, between crimes warnings : jokes about tony/wade being “creepy old men,” teen peter/adult wade friendship

/ᐠ > ˕ <マ first spideypool and i made it platonic?

ᶻ 𝗓 𐰁┆“That’s not relevant,” Peter hisses out. He yanks his mask back down over his chin, keeping his gaze locked firmly away from the wide stare of Wade’s eyes. 

“Seems plenty relevant to me, Spidey,” Wade responds. Peter throws him an exasperated glare which quickly turns to disgust as Wade shovels a handful of fries into his mouth. “I mean, the fans need to know.” It comes out garbled, and Peter squirms away. 

“Don’t talk with your mouth full. And don’t say ‘fans’ if you really mean yourself.” 

“Come on,” Wade whines. “I’ll drop it if you eat. I paid good money for this, you know!”

“Guilt-tripping is wrong,” Peter says automatically. “It’s manipulation.”

Wade stares at him in silence for a long moment. Peter shifts uncomfortably, the stone of the rooftop digging into his legs. “God, I forgot how much of a nerd you are.”

“That’s not nerdy,” Peter grumbles. He reluctantly pulls his mask back up and takes a bite of his burger. Wade may be occasionally annoying and too forward, but he does provide any food Peter requests—fast food, Thai, authentic Mexican, unhealthy amounts of chips and candy. It’s something he’s come to appreciate, especially on long nights of patrol like this with barely a moment’s breath between crime stops. 

“So how’s the Stark internship?” Wade asks after a long moment of silence. Peter nearly chokes, head whipping up. He forces his bite down his throat in an uncomfortable swallow.

“What?”

“That Stark thing,” Wade says again, casually waving around a fry. He scoops up a heavy dollop of ketchup with it, before shoving it into his mouth. Peter wonders if he was raised with any manners. “You talked about it, like, last week.”

At that, Peter relaxes. He lets out a nervous laugh as his shoulders untense. “Oh, right. That. Uh, yeah, it’s fine.” Not his internship as Peter Parker, then, but his “internship” with Tony/Ironman as Spider-Man.

“Bet they have lots of nerd stuff for you to work on,” Wade says. He flashes Peter a sharp grin. “You thrive in that kind of environment.”

“How would you know?” Peter shoots back. He steals a couple of Wade’s fries, quickly dipping them into ketchup and taking a bite before Wade can think of grabbing them back.

“You’re always talking about that science-y stuff. Lots of numbers and big words, like biodegradable.”

“That’s not that big of a word.”

“It is for a kid like you. Man, I don’t even use big words like that.”

“That’s because you’re an old man,” Peter responds smugly. He polishes off his burger in a few bites and crumples up the greasy wrapper. “And I’m fifteen, not a baby.”

“Hey! I’m twenty-seven!”

“And you’re hanging out with a teenager, alone. Creep.”

“You—I—we’re patrolling,” Wade sputters. “Do you call the Avengers creeps?”

“Tony, yeah. Call him old too. I made a lot of  jokes about my suit, it used to be a hoodie and sweatpants? then he made me the spandex one, skintight and everything.”

Wade whistles long and low, then makes an explosion sound and falls backwards with an air of drama. He pops back up with a grin. “Damn, Spidey. If I were you I’d probably do the same.”

Peter grins back. “Yeah, he didn’t get that I was joking at first. He kept apologizing and trying to explain wind resistance, flexibility…said he was so sorry if he made me uncomfortable. I was like, ‘no, no, it’s fine! I understand all the science, I was just being a jerk.’”

Wade laughs, and the conversations peters off. Peter stretches his arms above his head, back popping with each centimeter gained. A soft wind blows around them, the usual flare of traffic beeping and honking far below. And Peter almost doesn’t want to leave but…

“I have to get going. Gotta meet up with Stark and get home before my aunt.” 

Wade lets out a long, heavy sigh and stands, twisting this way and that as his joints crackle. “Yeah, probably best if I head back too. Don’t want my peanut getting too cranky without me.”

Peter waves bye to Wade as he swings back into the city, aiming for Stark Industries. If he gets there quick enough, Tony might be convinced to let him poke around the labs for a bit.