Untitled

what I mean is that she said "you didn't deserve <bad thing that happened to you>" and I said, "I feel like I know that intellectually, but I don't really believe it deep down". and she said, "do you think you can try to believe it just a little bit, as an experiment?" and I started crying lmao

trying to change a core belief entirely all at once is scary, especially when it exists as a protective measure. try giving yourself a cheeky bit of plausible deniability! you're just dipping your toes in the water of self-esteem, you're just having a little wade! you don't have to go swimming right away, and you can always step out if you want. (but the longer you spend in the water, the more you start to understand you're actually safe there...hm, who could have predicted this...)

You pause before reacting, even if it’s just for a second.

You notice your thoughts instead of immediately believing all of them.

You have moments, small, quiet ones where things feel a little lighter, even if they don’t last long.

You are starting to recognize what hurts you, even if you don’t know how to fix it yet.

You come back to yourself a little faster than you used to.

You let yourself rest sometimes, without as much guilt.

You are more aware of what you need, even if you struggle to give it to yourself.

You are trying. Even on the days where it feels like you are failing, you are still here, still moving through it.

You have days that feel okay, and instead of them feeling impossible, they feel… real, even if unfamiliar.

You are learning that not every thought deserves your attention.

You are still hurting sometimes, but it doesn’t feel exactly the same as before.

Healing doesn’t always look like big changes.

Sometimes it looks like this, small shifts, quiet awareness, softer moments that come and go.

And even if it doesn’t feel like progress, it is.

You are not stuck in the exact same place you were before.

Something in you is changing.

Even if it’s slow. Even if it’s subtle.

But brushing your teeth for 30 seconds is better than not brushing them at all when that 2 minutes seems exhausting.  Doing ten minutes of yoga is better than 10 minutes of sitting when 30 minutes of cardio sounds impossible.  Changing my clothes is good when a whole shower is impossible.  Standing on the porch for a few minutes is worth it after being in the house for three straight days because I don’t have the energy to go anywhere.