numbskull

Now a nice 30 minutes later, you had driven to Dani's apartment (Lord knows you'd never let her see the mess that is your apartment) and now you were sprawled out on her hot pink zebra-print bed in her equally as pink mcbling style bedroom. 2000s club tracks were playing on her rhinestone covered laptop as she rifled through her giant black and pink wardrobe.

You've never seen that much pink in your life before seeing Dani's apartment. You remember your eyes bulging out of your head as you took in the hyper-feminine black and hot pink interior for the first time. Dani's apartment was like if the word #YAS was an apartment.

Her clothes were no different, as she rifled through outfit after outfit in an effort to doll you up. "I can't believe you don't own any club 'fits. It's diabolical." You just shrugged and chuckled, watching your frantic best friend try finding something that would fit you perfectly.

On any other day, you'd probably protest and die of mortification at the thought of going to an enclosed space full of sweaty people and mediocre music wearing almost nothing, but right now? You really couldn't give a shit.

Marcus used to call you pure for refusing to go out. Now you just want to destroy any ounce of the girl he knew.

You grit your teeth at the thought of him and you shake your head as if it'll shake all the memories away. It forced itself away.

"This one," Dani said, pulling the dress from the wardrobe with a flourish and holding it up by the hanger. "Don't argue with me."

The fabric caught the light as it swayed. A sheer sky blue lace, sequined all over (of course it would be) so it seemed to shimmer with its own pulse, like something alive rather than sewn. One shoulder was cut to slip low, the sleeves ballooning out into loose, dramatic folds, and the hem hung uneven, edged in delicate lace.

You stared at it, throat tight. It looked like it was meant for a different, braver version of you— the kind of dress that didn't apologize for taking up space.

"I don't wear things like that," you said.

Dani just grinned sharply and pushed it into your hands. "Tonight you do."

After a moment of fighting with the fabric in the bathroom, you awkwardly emerged into the bedroom. Dani squealed and clapped her hands when she saw you, much to your bashfulness. "I'd be gay for you." She said, tone resolute. You laugh and to your surprise, it sounded lighter than you felt.

Maybe you did feel lighter.

Next was makeup, and Dani's face was scrunched in focus as a whirlwind of brushes, powders and liquids went on your face. After a hefty 30 minutes, she relented and stood back with pride. "My best work, I fear." You could barely recognize the girl in the mirror, but in a good way.

You looked absolutely gorgeous. And sexy. And amazing. You would be gay for you.

"Dani, let's kiss."

"Girl, save it for the club."

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Soon the two of you were parking and walking up to the entrance of a giant futuristic building with a giant neon sign reading "GHOSTHAUS", the music inside so deafening you could hear it vibrating through your bones. Standing in front of it was another fish monster and a shorter, plumper reptile monster. The fish monster wore a black tank that showed off her muscular arms and black leather pants. A matching black leather jacket was swung over her shoulders. The reptile monster was wearing a black and white polka dot dress with spaghetti straps. "Yo, Undyne!" Dani waved to the two.

Ah. This must be the aforementioned cousin and cousin's girlfriend. You pull the hem of your dress down awkwardly as you shuffle towards them. "Little cousin!" The other fish monster ran at Dani with a gigantic sharp grin, picking her up and hugging her in a bone-crushing grip.

You definitely see the resemblance. Both Dani and Undyne had the same facial features, especially their sharp grins, serrated teeth gleaming. But the resemblance stops there. Where Dani's skin was pale pearly blue, Undyne's was a deep cerulean. Where Dani's hair was platinum blonde, Undyne's was a deep crimson red.

Oh god, red.

No! Bad brain! This is a completely different person, and she's your best friend's cousin no less! Not to mention the fact she's also a lesbian so why the fuck would you even think of that?

"This is the bestie I was talking about, her name's Y/N. I dolled her up myself, ain't she cute?" You meet the gaze of Dani's cousin and after a short beat, Undyne raises an eyebrow. "Whoa. Didn't expect her to be human." Your face flushes, and you hug yourself. Then a spike of fear rushes through you. What if she's anti-human and she bites you or something? Oh god, was that racist? You're racist! You should bow down right now and beg for mercy--

"But she's adorable!" You were snapped out of your thoughts by the sight of Undyne approaching you and putting a muscular arm over you, grinning brightly. "Come on kid, you're gonna have the night of your life!" Your eyes dart towards Dani, who's already lost in conversation with the reptile monster whom you assume is Undyne's girlfriend.

Undyne lets go of you to run to the reptile monster's side, crouching to nuzzle into her side lovingly. Ah, couples. So adorable. "This is Alphys," Dani spoke, gesturing to the yellow reptile monster. Upon closer examination, she's closer to a dinosaur than a modern reptile. She's cute, you think. "She's--" Dani is cut off by Undyne's loud voice. "MY GIRLFRIEND!"

Alphys titters, waving shyly. "H-hello Y/N. I've heard good things about you from Dani." You smile back. "You too Alphys."

After some mingling the four of you enter GHOSTHAUS, ecstatic about the night ahead of you. You learn from Alphys that GHOSTHAUS is one of the most popular monster-human co-ord clubs in Ebott, and it's DJ'ed by the cousin of the only famous monster celebrity of Ebott, Mettaton.

Funny, that's two sets of cousins you've learned of tonight.

The second the doors opened, sound hit you like a physical thing — bass thudding up through the soles of your shoes before you'd even taken a step inside.

The club unfolded below you in layers. From the entrance, you could see the whole sprawl of it: a lower dance floor packed shoulder to shoulder, bodies moving as one shifting mass under a canopy of disco balls scattering fractured light across the ceiling. Above the floor, a raised lounge area stretched out, velvet booths bathed in red and violet, people draped across them with drinks in hand, watching the chaos below like it was a show being put on just for them.

Everything was drenched in color. Deep purples bled into hot pink, then flashes of red strobing off glass railings and glittering tinsel curtains. Somewhere near the DJ booth, a human girl in a bodysuit was dancing on a raised platform, silhouetted against the lights. You can see the glowing silhouette of the DJ himself, who's quite literally a ghost.

You stood frozen for a second, just taking it in. The noise, the heat already creeping in from all those bodies, the aliveness of the place.

Undyne and Alphys had already vanished from your group, making their way towards the compressed horde of people dancing below.

Dani looped her arm through yours, grinning like she was satisfied with your reaction. "Welcome to the good part," she yelled over the music, tugging you toward the stairs down to the floor.

You let her pull you forward, heart hammering somewhere between nerves and something that felt suspiciously like excitement.

Time to lose yourself tonight.

Dani pulls you past drunken couples making out and other people grinding and rocking to the music. Finally, the two of you make it to the dance floor and you already feel the anxiety creeping in. You were way out of your depth. Maybe this was a mistake. You aren't suited for this kind of thing.

Dani takes your face in her hands gently, like she could hear the anxiety pounding in your skull. "Hey. Don't worry about it. Everyone here's running from something, including me. We all just want to have fun and dance and get shitfaced, so nobody's really looking." Your mind quietened as you gazed into her eyes. Damn, she really was your best friend for a reason. You wanted to cry.

"Hey so we're in the club right now, does that mean we can kiss."

"Still no babes. I don't swing that way."

You laugh at her rejection but she still presses a soft kiss to your cheek. "You look hot tonight, hun. Just revel in it for a night!" You smile softly. Oh, what the hell? Sure. You will revel, and you'll revel HARD.

You and Dani make your way over to the bar beside the cramped dance floor which was being tended to by a frog monster and a human woman. The sound of glasses clinking as they flew up in the air intrigued you. The frog bartender was flipping and twirling shot glasses in the air with one hand while the other held a bottle of something alcoholic. With a quick swipe all the glasses came down filled. The customers clapped with glee. That looked fun.

"Well aren't you fine as wine?" The sultry purr of the other bartender pulled your gaze away from the frog bartender. The woman smiled lazily as she leaned over the countertop. In the neon lights you caught a glimpse of her nametag glimmering. Tessa. "What would you like sugar?"

The sweet words made you shy. Didn't help that Tessa was also hot as fuck, given that she had a long spiky side shave and muscular arms. You must've taken too long to answer (too busy fumbling over a pretty woman) so Dani took initiative. "She'll have a Paloma and I'll have an MTT Special." You snap out of your stupor enough to hold a hand up in protest. "Hold it, I want whatever the other bartender was serving earlier."

Tessa raised a brow, amused. "You sure? That stuff's real strong." Dani was confused, since she hadn't paid attention to the other bartender like you had. She leaned on the counter, manicured nails tapping the countertop in intrigue. "I mean it looked really cool so why not." You shrugged. Tessa grinned. "Sure. Coming right up."

With expert ease, she pulled out the same bottle the frog bartender had set aside and began shaking it, then executing the same performance you had seen earlier. Glasses clinked and glinted in the light as Tessa twirled the bottle around. Her performance wasn't as snappy or as quick as the other, but had an extravagant flair. Upon closer examination, you see that the alcohol wasn't brown or even clear, but blue. She mixes a bunch of other bullshit inside that you can't name and slides the glass over to you.

Before you take it, she interrupts.

"Ah, one more thing."

She places a single cherry on top and winks. "Sweet drink for a sweet girl." You blush. Tessa was a real flirt, huh? But knowing how you look, you wouldn't blame her. Dani's drink shortly followed with its own performance. Her drink is fruity with a dragonfruit slice on the side. The straw it came with looked like a pair of legs that resembled the popular monster celebrity, Mettaton's. Huh, that's why it's called the MTT special.

Dani looks at you expectantly. "Well? Here's to getting new lives and a steamy night!" You groan inwardly at her second remark, but you cheer all the same. This was the start of a new life, a new you. You really just can't take the disrespect your life was hurling at you right now.

You knock back the drink quickly, earning an exclamation from Tessa. "Woah there. What are you running from?" The sensation wasn't like anything you'd ever drank, and you'd drank plenty in your life. It burned, but also fizzled as it trailed down your throat. The taste was smooth, sweet and inviting, but the aftertaste was fizzy and packed a citrusy punch. Pure ambrosia. "Oh my gosh Y/N you're glowing!" What?

Oh wow.

You look down at yourself to see that your hair was glowing blue, like there was some energy burning from within each strand like a supernova. You could see the outline of each vein travelling through your arms. The phenomena only lasted a few seconds before fading, to your disappointment. "Monster liquor. Real strong, you'll probably need some water to clean it up if you're feeling queasy." You shake your head, stopping Tessa from pouring you some water. The drink was good. It made you docile, made you warm. Made you forget. You wanted more.

"Nah I'm fine. Give me another."

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And it's all that I have, and you're all that I want

The alcohol burned your insides comfortingly, while the press of sweaty bodies surrounding you on the dance floor provided external warmth. You and Dani danced freely to the sounds of "7 Minutes in Heaven" By Mindless Self Indulgence, putting your arms up in the air like you just didn't care.

You feel someone's arms grab your waist and you welcome the feeling.

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And if you know that I want it now,

You groan as the man pressing up behind you started to get just a little too comfortable, signaling Dani through a cough and a subtle glance towards the booths on the second floor. She nods back as you smoothly make your exit.

Well you can't give it up 'cause I'll never have enough

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You laze in a booth on the second floor, watching the sea of dancing people, both monster and humankind alike simply lose themselves in music, sweat, and each other. There's so much pain in the world but not in this room. You hear someone shuffle opposite you, and you turn to look who it is.

Sitting opposite you is a skeleton in a black fur-lined jacket and a black beanie. His sockets alight with white light, acting as irises. "Oh sorry, 'm in your booth arn't I?" You slur. The skeleton shrugs, a grin fixed on his face. "'s'okay. you can stay."

Oh whoa, I have a young naivety

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"So you're friends with the queen of the underground, the uncle to the ambassador and savior of monster-kind and also a high ranking officer for the MII?" You gape at the skeleton opposite you, who simply shrugs in response.

"yup."

"That's so cool."

"s'alright."

"You don't talk much do you?"

"hard to think of anything when there's nothin' in your skull."

"Heh. Bonehead."

You see the skeleton's grin grow wider. "I'm Y/N." You extend a hand out to him. He takes yours in his, bone hard against soft skin. "sans."

Oh whoa, and my lust is a tidal wave

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Because 7 minutes in Heaven is all that I need when I get with him!

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Light came first. It was soft, gold, and way too gentle for how your head felt.

You woke slowly, piece by piece: sunlight through the curtains, the weight of the blanket, then the dull throb behind your eyes that made you groan before you even opened them. You rub the sleep from your eyes.

The room was quiet, like the world was still asleep. A bird somewhere outside, the faint hum of an AC. Dust drifting lazily in a strip of sunlight across the floor.

Your mouth was dry, your head hammering. Your makeup was definitely a crime scene on the pillow. But there was something nice about it too — lying there in the hush, wrapped in a soft blanket, an arm wrapped around your midsection lovingly.

Wait what? What arm?

Your eyes widened and you shot up immediately, scrambling to sit up. A frantic voice in your head screams what the fuck over and over.

As you sit up, the blankets fall away from you and the cold of the morning hits your skin, goosebumps raising. You're naked. Why the fuck are you naked.

Oh god. NO. YOU COULDN'T HAVE POSSIBLY.

"mm.."

You hear the soft groan of someone stirring beside you. Not just someone, but a MAN. The distinct sound of a man stirring next to you. You stare, eyes wide in horror as the man sits up too, rubbing his eyes—no—sockets.

Oh my god. I fucked a skeleton.

When the skeleton finally opened his eyes, white pinpricks blinking to life, his tired gaze settles on your mortified face (You were pretty sure your face was bright red by now) and all at once, an expression of equal shock and horror settles on his face, his eyelights completely vanishing.

Looks like you were both in the same boat.

"AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAH" "aaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaah"

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"Well?" She crossed her arms. You put down your water bottle. "Wh-Why does it matter?" You sputter. She raised an eyebrow. " 'Cause you've been looking like sour milk lately. Like, you literally just punched the wall because a customer called you ma'am instead of miss."

Right. That you did. You look down at your stinging knuckles and then back at her. You're at a loss for words, face red and mouth hanging open. You probably looked like a fish yourself right now.

"I guess that's a 'not in a long time' then. Where the hell is Marcus when you need him?" Dani said it lightly, but the mention of your now ex-boyfriend's name made your soul tighten and a shadow cast itself over you. Gosh darn it. You clenched your teeth.

You haven't broken the news to Dani yet, so you suppose you were lucky the opportunity presented itself to you now. However, before you could open your mouth again, it seemed your facial expressions gave it away. Dani's expression had softened into something of concern.

"Oh girl, don't tell me.." She extended a hand out to cup your face. You purse your lips and nodded, brow furrowed in an effort to not cry. "Caught him in our bedroom with Yolanda. They were dating for 3 weeks. I had no idea." Your voice trembled as you recounted to Dani, whose face hardened.

"Hell no. I'm gonna fucking kill him." You immediately throw a hand up to soothe her. "I don't want a best friend behind bars. Plus, those anti-monster weirdos would take your actions out of context and I don't want to feed their delusions." You poked her cheek. She sighed.

"Yeah well, it's horrible to hear what happened. You don't deserve that hun." You shrug weakly. "Well, he was ugly anyways." You joke, trying to lighten the mood. She chuckled. "Yeah."

"Well then it's settled! We're going out today. No buts! Best way to get over someone is to get under another am I right?" She clapped her hands together, staring at you expectantly with eyes shining. "Hell no. I can't right now, not with Ms Landgraab breathing down my damn neck about rent." You whine. Dani groans with exasperation. "Come on, Y/N! Today's payday anyway. Just let loose for one night!" You hem and haw, and eventually Dani relents, sighing. "Fine, but my offer still stands. I'm going out tonight with my cousin and her girlfriend and if you wanna come with, text me by 7PM."

You doubt you will, but you're grateful for your best friend's grace. Dani had always been headstrong and it was both a blessing and a curse. If you hadn't met her in college, goodness knows if she would've adapted to the surface as well as she did now.

Monsters emerged 3 years ago, while you were a second year in college. Dani amongst them. Thanks to the Monster Integration Program or MII (haha mii), Dani was enrolled in college with you, which was where you met her.

But now's not time for reflection and nostalgia. You have work to do. Break's over! You dust off your apron and head out to the front.

"Hey there, welcome to Muffet's. What can I getcha?"

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After a particularly rough shift, you meander over to your car, tired and overwhelmed as you usually are after a shift. There were a few customers who pissed you off, but none of them notable enough for you to remember. Slinking into the driver's seat, adjusting your mirrors, you shut the car door and ignite the engine.

Only for it to sputter and jerk violently. "What the fuck?!" You exclaim. The car jerked violently, trying its best to start before finally slumping and completely breaking down. Great. Just great.

You let out a cry of frustration. Could this day get any worse? You rock back and forth aggressively, gripping your steering wheel.

Unfortunately, the universe loves to fuck with you because your incessant frustration-fueled rocking shook a polaroid out from your vanity mirror above you. Picking up the polaroid, you’re met with a younger version of you sitting on your ex boyfriend’s lap, staring adoringly at him. The younger version of Marcus just stares straight ahead at the camera, trying his best to ‘mew’ or whatever, eyes shining red from the flash. Even in this photo from when you first started dating, your dynamic with him was clear from the start.

Fuck you Marcus.

You feel a familiar lump in your throat emerge, eyes threatening to water. You were so stupid. So innocent. You had sacrificed 2 years of your life for him. 2 whole years of living. 2 whole years of shaping your life around him. His friends became yours, his hobbies became yours, you didn’t have a single shred of your personality without his name being stamped on it.

You remember when he began changing. When he stopped being the boy you moved in with, the one who’d cook you breakfast and pepper you with kisses in the morning. When he started getting jealous and controlling. His incessant nagging on coming home early, on spending less time with your friends. Any male that came close to you was a threat, even the friends you knew for years.

But you kept pushing. You kept fighting to keep your love alive. You remembered how every fight felt like a movie, with dramatic confessions of “I love you, I’m sorry” and intimacy at the end of it. You remember when he wouldn’t listen.

When he still hated every man who was in contact with you. When he started getting mad for everything you said, everything you did.

Oh what a fucking hypocrite he was.

You remember the scent of sickeningly feminine perfume in the air. Too sweet to be masculine, too erotic to seem friendly. You remember how the room spun out of control as you opened the door to your bedroom. Your bedroom. To find your boyfriend shirtless on his knees on your bed.

To find her sitting entangled with him. Messy red hair sticking every which way from someone running his hands through it. Lips red and swollen from being kissed so passionately and desperately. The way you once were. Her half lidded eyes widening with guilt and fear all at once. Her white button up buttoned down just enough for you to see the red lacy bra peeking through.

It didn’t take long to put two and two together. You remember the ringing in your ears as you grabbed the bat you hid under your dresser (it was for self defense purposes, and this is self defense.) You remember the faraway voices of your boyfriend and the girl on your bed screaming and pleading as you swung the bat wildly throughout the room.

You remembered how it felt to wordlessly shatter and destroy everything in the bedroom. The way the lamp shattered, how the wilted flowers from your first anniversary scattered on the floor. How the bed frame was torn apart. You couldn’t hear a thing, just that endless, uncontrollable ringing. You didn’t stop until you finally had the entire bedroom destroyed and torn. You hated how even then, you couldn’t bring yourself to hurt them. To turn your violence towards the very objects of it.

Looking back, you should’ve.

Instead, you tore through the bedroom walls, shattering every shelf, every vase, every figurine.

The girl on the bed had the audacity to be in tears and begging. Her, of all people. Yolanda, your childhood friend. Hell, you even called her your sister. You had cried to her for months about Marcus’ horrible behavior. She had hugged and soothed you. She said everything would be okay. “Y/N don’t do this!” She cried. “It wasn’t what you think it was!”

Did they think you were fucking stupid?

The hypocrite and the liar. How fitting.

You couldn’t feel the tears rolling down your face, the way the bat trembled in your hands. How finally, you opened your mouth to say two simple words.

“Get out.”

And Marcus scrambled to leave with Yolanda in tow.

The memory had you laughing bitterly, tears free flowing now. You really couldn’t care anymore. You kept laughing as tears dripped down into the polaroid. Fuck this. You hated everything. Your grip tightened on the polaroid as you tore it to pieces in agony. The despair overtook you like a beast swallowing its prey, oxygen leaving you as you doubled down in agonizing sobs.

How were you supposed to live when everything in your life was gone?

You cried for what felt like hours before receiving a call. You turn on your phone, it read 6:00PM. You’d been crying for 30 minutes. You answer the phone and held it to your ear. The crackling sound of Ms. Landgraab’s aged voice came through. “Ms L/N?”

You take a slow breath in, willing the lump in your throat and the ache in your chest to dull. “Yes?” You curse how shaky your voice sounded. It was painfully obvious what you were doing before.

“I hate to do this dear, but you’re a month behind on rent. Not to mention the property damage left behind prior.” The silence that followed was deafening, but she continued. “I’m so sorry. I have tenants looking to rent your spot and if I don’t receive payment in the next week, I’m afraid I’ll have to evict you.” The pity was evident in her tone, you could almost see her brow knitted in worry and her lips pursed. Ms Landgraab was always kind to you, though she ran a tight ship.

It was your kindness that led to him ruining your life.

You pursed your lips to keep from sobbing. “I understand, Ms Landgraab. I’m getting my paycheck today, so you’ll be able to receive it no problem.” Your voice was hoarse and wobbly, but you thank the stars that Ms Landgraab made no comment on it.

She bid you goodbye and ended the call, leaving you in silence. You stare into nothing for a while, letting silence overtake you as you processed all that happened.

Okay, this should be fine. You just have to check your bank balance and call up your boss.

You fumble with your phone for a bit before opening your bank app and checking the balance. You wince at the sight. Absolutely unfortunate. You really hope your paycheck comes in anytime now.

You dial the number of your boss, Muffet the Spider. Yes, her last name is the Spider. It’s literally on her ID. After a few short tones, she picks up. You clear your throat of any sadness left behind. “Hey Muffs. Just asking if I could get any news about my paycheck, since it’s payday?” The spider monster hemmed and hawed before nervously informing you that “Sorry Y/N, there’s an issue with the system and I can’t transfer any money out until the end of the week.” The knowledge that you can’t even alleviate one of your problems right now knocks the wind out of you, and you wheeze out a quiet “I see, no worries.” and putting down your phone before Muffet could say another word.

Slowly, you turn around to check that the parking lot was empty before you screamed your heart out, slamming the car horn multiple times before finally leaning back, panting.

Dani was right. Not about the getting laid thing, but you really do need to let loose right now. You could use the night out. You check the time. 6:40PM. Thank the stars that there’s one thing you aren’t fumbling.

After putting in the digits and dialing, you wait patiently until you hear a “Hey babe, change your mind?” You sigh.

“Yeah.”

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masterlist..

Ch. 1 - eye guess i'll go

Ch. 2 what the fibula

Ch. 3 you've got tibia kidding me

Ch. 4 numbskull activities

Ch. 5 throw me a bone