The Yikes Department

old married couple megastar and they haven’t banged in like 4 million years and that’s why they’re mean to each other.

cyberworld galvatrons fucking gay ass leather daddy mustache pisses me off!!!! you’re not allowed to look that cute you ugly fucker

I love plug and play interface so much because 1. Alien sex is silly and 2. sometimes the idea of transformers slamming into each other is too much to deal with because of how loud it would be and how badly it would mess their finishes up? plug and play is so gentle in comparison like they can just lay together and kiss/hold each other no actual car crashing involved

meg going down on starscream so good it makes his thrusters go off when he nuts and it triggers the sprinkler system

I need that fuckin goofy teeth monster circus man to get fucked raw

freaked out megatron who outwardly hates starscream but would bend his thrusters to his helm vents if he would ask vs. starscream who is so conniving and brilliant in so many ways but literally has NO IDEA if he let megatron eat it from the back for even 5 seconds he would immediately get everything he ever wanted including control of the entire decepticon army

I real bad want a megastar fic where they genuinely THINK they’re hate fucking enemies, but when they actually bang after rage baiting each other with insults, it’s just like…missionary, full eye contact, kissing the whole time, using pet names, just disgustingly romantic love making. then after the post nut clarity they act like that didn’t happen and go back to hating each other

I’m constantly reminded of that “what kind of fetishes could transformers possibly have” and my mind is so filled with infinite insane possibilities.