Andy 🐈

"grow up" no. i cast wizard beam

literally any upper middle class tiktok self-identified ‘that girl’ in a pastel workout set with a thirteen step skincare routine and a green juice is a million times closer to being patrick bateman irl than any self-identified sigma film bro

op managed to swing a bat at 2 hornets nests in one go

[saw voice] hello, charlie slimecicle. in front of you is a table with a pencil, eraser, and dungeons & dragons character sheet. you will notice that a ‘sexual orientation’ section has been added to this sheet in particular. your task is to create a heterosexual character, or a deadly neurotoxin will be released into the room. you have 1 hour.

Imagine being alive in the 19th century and your wife leaves you for a guy with a hot air balloon. I’d probably try to pull my top hat down over the rest of my head so i wouldn’t be able to breathe. or swallow my monocle or something. or get tuberculosis on purpose

sorry professor I could not do this assignment. there are fictional characters in my head.

dead leafs? that’s called yard salad now. and it’s the new food trend.

leaves*

where are you going