hhhh

it feels like theres a clock ticking above my head and i cant see how much longer i get to enjoy something. i can’t start big projects for fear of never finishing them. i have to hold myself back from anything that requires long-term commitments or consistency because i can’t rely on future-me to follow through.*

when i pace myself and try to casually keep up with something after the hyperfixation ends it just isn’t the same, the joy is gone. when i say fuck it and just let myself run, i end up trying to cram years of a hobby into weeks or months. i bite off way more than i can chew, burn out spectacularly, and spend the next month feeling guilty every time i look at the pile of expensive, unused materials that i sat down one day and never picked back up.

Theres a toll that years of it takes on your self-trust, it compromises your ability to make decisions without second guessing the most basic things. “What will I want?” and “what will I like?” aren’t any less opaque at six months from now than six years. I can’t count on what I want. In a way, I can’t count on myself and there’s a grief that comes along with that.

Jaskier is going through a rollercoaster of emotions in this lol

Steve Harrington + the mom stance™

Will Byers  &  Eddie Munson  +  d&d games.

GUYS

HEY YOU GUYS

Further, I think they had a good base to start his bicuriousity in season 4 (with mr. Munson) when Robin said “you date a bunch of girls but still have no idea what you’re looking for” and later when Dustin said “maybe if you spent less time looking for a girlfriend and more time looking for Eddie…”. The signs could’ve all been there for Steddie.

He could’ve had google eyes when he saw Eddie’s big hair and soft eyes. Instead they set him up to be with Nancy, which feels cheap to both their characters and frankly makes Steve look like he’s only into Nancy because he’s clearly desperate for a conventionally attractive girl.

# eddie is fed up with their lack of music culture