MOVED.

      it’s  like  a  calling  of  souls,  the  recognition  behind  her  eyes  isn’t  clear  at  first.  but  the  elder  shows  her  tattoo,  009,  and  she  understands.  there’s  a  part  of  ELEVEN  that  wants  to  reach  out,  to  embrace  her  friend  from  long  ago.  many  questions  she  wants  to  ask  too,  like  why,  and  where …  PAPA  hadn’t  provided  any  explanations  to  her  as  to  why  she  couldn’t  play  with  the  twins  anymore,  and  she  got  a  similar  response  when  she  hadn’t  seen  EIGHT  in  a  while  either.  “ this  place. ”  she  repeats,  nodding  her  head  to  agree.  “ you  go.  why ? ”

𝙴𝚇𝚃. :      𝚃𝙷𝙴𝚁𝙴  𝚆𝙴𝚁𝙴  𝙻𝙴𝚂𝚂  𝚂𝙸𝙼𝙸𝙻𝙰𝚁𝙸𝚃𝙸𝙴𝚂  𝙱𝙴𝚃𝚆𝙴𝙴𝙽  𝚃𝙷𝙴  𝚃𝚆𝙾  𝚃𝙷𝙰𝙽  𝚂𝙷𝙴'𝙳  𝙴𝚇𝙿𝙴𝙲𝚃𝙴𝙳      --      𝚆𝙰𝚂𝙽'𝚃  𝚃𝙷𝙰𝚃  𝚂𝚄𝙿𝙿𝙾𝚂𝙴𝙳  𝚃𝙾  𝙱𝙴  𝙰  𝙶𝙾𝙾𝙳  𝚃𝙷𝙸𝙽𝙶 ?

nora wasn’t sure what she had expected when she’d returned to hawkins in order to seek out eleven ,      a girl she hadn’t seen in nearly a decade :      maybe she’d hoped that eleven would be more like her ,      that she’d carry the same haunted look in her eyes ,      the same trauma after taking the lives of many before hitting puberty .      instead ,      she’s met with innocence and naivety ,      and nora can’t help the way that her smile tightens around the corners .      heavy sigh escapes cherry stained lips as ocean eyes carefully study the woods around them ,      as fingers tug her sleeve down in an attempt to recover the tattoo            (      a permanent reminder of all that she and hope had been through ,      of all that she and hope had done for brenner ,      of the monsters that they’d both been forced to become      ) .

𝙽𝙾𝚁𝙰 :      i had to leave …      𝚠𝚎  𝚠𝚎𝚛𝚎  𝚜𝚝𝚘𝚕𝚎𝚗  𝚊𝚠𝚊𝚢 ,      all of us .

gaze fixates on eleven as soon as she’s sure that they’re truly alone ,      that there are no lingering soldiers awaiting brenner’s orders .      fingers reach outward ,      pat eleven on the shoulder as she tries to figure out the right words to say .

𝙽𝙾𝚁𝙰 :      i had a family outside of the rainbow room .      and you do too .      we can find them ,      if you’d like .

’  is  there  anything  i  can  do  ?  ’

𝙴𝚇𝚃. :      𝙽𝙾𝚁𝙰  𝙷𝙰𝙳  𝚂𝚆𝙾𝚁𝙽  𝚂𝙷𝙴'𝙳  𝙽𝙴𝚅𝙴𝚁  𝚁𝙴𝚃𝚄𝚁𝙽      --      𝙳𝙰𝚁𝙺𝙽𝙴𝚂𝚂  𝚂𝚄𝚁𝚁𝙾𝚄𝙽𝙳𝚂  𝚃𝙷𝙴𝙼  𝙰𝙽𝙳  𝚂𝙷𝙴'𝚂  𝙳𝚁𝙾𝚆𝙽𝙸𝙽𝙶  𝙸𝙽  𝙸𝚃

the silence echoes between the two of them ,      makes nora shift uncomfortably as ocean eyes study the swoosh on her dirty corteses ,      as she tries to ignore the weight settling in on her chest .      it had been weeks since her return to hawkins ,      days since the group had decided to return to the facility where she and jane had become nothing more than a number :      the nightmares had begun again ,      a reminder that she would always be damaged ,      that she would always be a wolf in sheep’s clothing .      the tattoo on her arm burns now more than ever ,      reminiscent of the day that she’d first gotten it ,      the moment that brenner realized that normal tattoo ink wouldn’t work on her regenerative skin :      mixed with wolfsbane and vervain ,      𝚝𝚑𝚎  𝚘𝚗𝚕𝚢  𝚝𝚑𝚒𝚗𝚐  𝚝𝚑𝚊𝚝  𝚌𝚘𝚞𝚕𝚍  𝚔𝚎𝚎𝚙  𝚊  𝚝𝚛𝚒𝚋𝚛𝚒𝚍  𝚊𝚝  𝚋𝚊𝚢 …

𝙽𝙾𝚁𝙰 :      unless you can erase my memories ,      i’d say no .

words come out unintentionally biting ,      caged animal lashes out at the only one kind enough to extend a hand .

        ❛  it’s  NOT  that  easy,  ❜  he  mumbles,  eyes  shifting  toward  the  soft  ground.  ❛  i  need  to  try.  i  owe  it  to  myself  for  living.  ❜

𝙸𝙽𝚃. :      𝚂𝙷𝙴'𝙳  𝙹𝚄𝚂𝚃  𝚆𝙰𝙽𝚃𝙴𝙳  𝙰  𝙵𝚁𝙴𝚂𝙷  𝚂𝚃𝙰𝚁𝚃      --      𝙱𝚄𝚃  𝚃𝙷𝙸𝙽𝙶𝚂  𝚆𝙴𝚁𝙴  𝚂𝙾𝙼𝙴𝙷𝙾𝚆  𝙼𝙾𝚁𝙴  𝙲𝙾𝙼𝙿𝙻𝙸𝙲𝙰𝚃𝙴𝙳  𝚃𝙷𝙰𝙽  𝙱𝙴𝙵𝙾𝚁𝙴

it’s a feeling that love knows all too well :      she understands what it’s like to be the caretaker ,      to be the one that has to fix everything and everyone around her .      she had donned that role for forty all those years ago ,      had changed the trajectory of both of their lives with a simple swing of her knife .      love had been his protector ,      had been the one that constantly looked after him ,      had been the one to pick up the pieces after everyone else completely tore him apart .      but forty was gone now ,      she was stuck in a loveless marriage where she was painted out to be a monster ,      𝚊𝚗𝚍  𝚕𝚘𝚟𝚎  𝚏𝚎𝚕𝚝  𝚎𝚗𝚝𝚒𝚛𝚎𝚕𝚢  𝚜𝚝𝚞𝚌𝚔 .

𝙻𝙾𝚅𝙴 :      if you take on all the burdens of the world ,      it’ll tear you apart .

she spoke from personal experience ,      from years of trying to protect her family and her marriage to no avail .      love had done everything for them ,      had grown so used to thinking about others ,      that she’d lost sight of herself .

𝙻𝙾𝚅𝙴 :      trust me ,      𝚢𝚘𝚞  𝚗𝚎𝚎𝚍  𝚝𝚘  𝚙𝚞𝚝  𝚢𝚘𝚞𝚛𝚜𝚎𝚕𝚏  𝚏𝚒𝚛𝚜𝚝 .

hermione had thrust herself into the public eye,   a young woman transformed into a tabloid image…     of course,   their childhood had never been a particularly quiet affair,   and harry still vividly remembers the time she had been slandered by rita skeeter’s pen   –   but this was a sought - out witch - hunt   [   ouch,   maybe not the best metaphor there,   harry   ].     she had made every move to be in the position she was in.    AND WHILE HARRY ALWAYS ADMIRED HER TENACITY…    he had no desire to have any other spotlight shined on him.    he was quite content to blur into the background.    the press still used fresh ink to wax poetry about his name,   the famed war hero,    the handsome chosen one,   the savior of the wizarding world   –   soon,   those stories would become fables,   and harry would be little more than a half - remembered story from weathered lips,   the last tale spun free from a grandmother’s lips.    HE DIDN’T NEED A LEGACY:     he needed a good night’s sleep.

harry snorted at hermione’s reasoning about lockhart…     of course she’d try to find some dignified way to deny it!         ‘        could you explain to me,  in detail,   and as clearly as possible,   what the difference is?     because i remember my crushes on cho and ginny…    and i think i’d use the word enamoured to sum them up,   too.        ’        and pathetically so,  at that.   note to self:      send a message to ginny to check in on her.    things had been tough for her ever since the war ended…    though,   her quidditch career was certainly flourishing.    OLD FRIENDS HAD TO CHECK UP ON EACH OTHER EVERY NOW AND AGAIN.

ron’s chess career had been blossoming at the same time that his sister’s quidditch career was kicking up…     he went to tournaments all around the world,   each one as glorious and over - the - top as the next.    harry made every attempt to go see the matches when he could,   though he always came back to england,   to their little flat,   buried away in a cosy corner of the world.       HE LOVED RON   [   but he loved hermione,  too,  and nothing about their relationship would ever change his mind on either of them   ].    he knows he’s been ungrateful for her during their youth,   a terrible concoction of boyhood and ego manifesting like hiccups in his throat.    HE’S BETTER NOW…     or so he likes to think.

‘        you’re telling me.   you used to fight every few seconds.        ’   there was a soft quirk to his lips that showed he felt no ill - will towards either of them.       ‘       as long as i don’t have to listen to you two bickering or,  merlin forbid,   smacking lips,   i’m glad you’re both happy.      happier.        ’

𝙸𝙽𝚃. :      𝚃𝙷𝙴𝚈  𝙷𝙰𝙳  𝙱𝙾𝚃𝙷  𝙶𝚁𝙾𝚆𝙽  𝚂𝙾  𝙼𝚄𝙲𝙷  𝙾𝚅𝙴𝚁  𝚃𝙷𝙴  𝚈𝙴𝙰𝚁𝚂      --      𝚂𝙾𝙼𝙴𝚃𝙸𝙼𝙴𝚂  𝚂𝙷𝙴  𝙼𝙸𝚂𝚂𝙴𝙳  𝚃𝙷𝙴  𝚃𝙸𝙼𝙴𝚂  𝙰𝚃  𝙷𝙾𝙶𝚆𝙰𝚁𝚃𝚂

she’d been no stranger to criticism ,      refused to shy away from the harsh gazes of wizards who combated her political stance            (      those who enjoyed the enslavement of the house elves ,      those who still aligned with voldemort after all these years      ) .            for the first time ,      she understands the scrutiny that harry had been put under ,      the watchful eyes that followed the boy wonder around the globe :      he’d been placed on a pedestal at such a young age ,      had been burdened with glorious purpose before he’d even been able to crawl ,      had become walking proof that the wizarding world’s greatest villain had a weakness .      hermione had seen how hard it had been on him first hand ,      had been there through the best and worst of times at hogwarts ,      had stood by his side through the second wizarding war .      she was no stranger to pain or suffering ,      but neither was he .

an eye roll is the closest thing that hermione gives to a response in the moment ,      and it’s because deep down ,      𝚜𝚑𝚎  𝚔𝚗𝚘𝚠𝚜  𝚝𝚑𝚊𝚝  𝚑𝚊𝚛𝚛𝚢  𝚒𝚜  𝚛𝚒𝚐𝚑𝚝 :      she never could lie to him ,      had never been able to hide the truth from him .      fork is placed down as fingers cross ,      eyes study harry carefully from across the maple of her large desk before she leans backward in her office chair ,      a quiet hum escaping her lips .

𝙷𝙴𝚁𝙼𝙸𝙾𝙽𝙴 :      yes ,      well ,      nobody is perfect .

she hadn’t kept in touch with many of her friends from hogwarts in recent years ,      had never felt the deep seated connection with her peers that harry or ron had :      she’d always felt like the odd one out ,      had always felt some semblance of isolation from everyone in their class .      hermione was always the annoying know-it-all ,      always the one who had something to prove .      she wonders if she’d proven herself yet ,      wonders who she was ever truly trying to convince …      quiet snort breaks her own train of thoughts before lighthearted laughter fills the room            (      it sounds hollow ,      even to her      ) .

𝙷𝙴𝚁𝙼𝙸𝙾𝙽𝙴 :      i think you’ve gotten me mistaken with lavender brown .      they were always snogging in the common rooms …

nose wrinkles at the thought alone ,      but she can’t help the small smile that crosses her features :      those years had been the hardest for her ,      but they were the times where she’d felt closest to harry ,      when she’d realized that he was her closest friend in a school where she’d always felt out of place .      𝚖𝚞𝚜𝚌𝚕𝚎𝚜  𝚛𝚎𝚕𝚊𝚡  𝚝𝚑𝚎  𝚕𝚘𝚗𝚐𝚎𝚛  𝚜𝚑𝚎  𝚜𝚒𝚝𝚜  𝚊𝚌𝚛𝚘𝚜𝚜  𝚏𝚛𝚘𝚖  𝚑𝚒𝚖 ,      careful sigh leaves her chest before she settles into the foreign office .

𝙷𝙴𝚁𝙼𝙸𝙾𝙽𝙴 :      you know ,      i still haven’t gotten used to it .      the spotlight ,      the fame ,      the office …      it’s a lot of responsibility .

a mantle she’d always dreamt of ,      but one that she had never truly wanted …

he  seems  to  be  doing  a  decent  job  as  playing  along  to  fit  into  her  universe.  that’s  what  he’s  taking  from  telling  sabrina  about  prudence  being  mad  about  whatever  this  decision  is. (  at  least  prudence  seemed  to  be  the  same  here,  and  god  knows  it  doesn’t  surprise  him.  )  prudence  just  knew  how  to  be  talked  about,  in  every  cosmos.   the  weird  sister  might  be  the  same  but  sabrina  wasn’t.  this  girl  who  stood  before  him  wasn’t  anything  he  like  his  sabrina  &  he  didn’t  know  how  to  deal  with  it.  “  five  years  already ?  man,  time  sure  has  blown  by.   but  you’re  right,  she  wouldn’t  be  her  if  she  was  nice. ”  

“  you’ll  always  have  me,  sabrina. ”  there’s  a  quick  smile  because  he  means  it,  even  if  he  knew  nothing  about  her.  something  was  still  there.  something  familiar.   smile  is  quick  to  fade  when  she  asks  who  ambrose  was.   uh -  oh !   holy  shit.   there’s  no  way  he  could  go  on  pretending  he  was  the  same  nick  she  knew.  without  ambrose  around,  he’d  need  to  find  help  elsewhere.  &  sabrina  was  obviously  the  best  chance  he  had.  “  okay  —  i  need  to  tell  you  something.  but —  you  can’t  freak  out  on  me,  it’s  pretty  important. ”

𝙸𝙽𝚃. :      𝙴𝚅𝙴𝙽  𝚂𝙷𝙴  𝚆𝙰𝚂𝙽'𝚃  𝙾𝙱𝙻𝙸𝚅𝙸𝙾𝚄𝚂  𝙴𝙽𝙾𝚄𝙶𝙷  𝚃𝙾  𝙽𝙾𝚃𝙸𝙲𝙴  𝚃𝙷𝙴  𝙳𝙸𝙵𝙵𝙴𝚁𝙴𝙽𝙲𝙴𝚂      --      𝙸𝚃'𝚂  𝚂𝚄𝚁𝙿𝚁𝙸𝚂𝙸𝙽𝙶  𝚃𝙷𝙰𝚃  𝙷𝙴  𝚃𝙷𝙾𝚄𝙶𝙷𝚃  𝙷𝙴  𝙲𝙾𝚄𝙻𝙳  𝙰𝙲𝚃𝚄𝙰𝙻𝙻𝚈  𝙻𝙸𝙴  𝚃𝙾  𝙷𝙴𝚁

gentle sigh comes out as figure leans against the statue of her father ,      arms cross and perfectly manicured fingers tap against forearm .      quiet hum escaping her lips as she gives him a slow once over ,      smug grin replaces the deep set frown before accusatory finger finds its way to nick’s figure .

𝚂𝙰𝙱𝚁𝙸𝙽𝙰 :      you’re from another one of the cosmos ,      𝚊𝚛𝚎𝚗’𝚝  𝚢𝚘𝚞 ?      wouldn’t be the first traveler to stop by ,      but you’re the first one to actually resemble someone from my universe ...

the difference between him and her nick were becoming glaringly more obvious to her now ,      and sabrina had been suspicious from the first moment they’d interacted :      after all ,      her version of nick wasn’t this …      𝚜𝚑𝚘𝚛𝚝 .      she knew that her newest jimmy choos didn’t make her that much taller ,      knew that she shouldn’t be anywhere near towering over nick .      huff of laughter escapes her mouth before eyes study her latest acrylics ,      making notes of the subtle imperfections      --      she really would need to teach the demons to do a better job next time …

𝚂𝙰𝙱𝚁𝙸𝙽𝙰 :      so who is this ambrose you were looking for ?      anything that i can do to help ?      i am the greatest witch of our time ,      after all .

𝙸𝙽𝚃. :      𝚃𝙷𝙴  𝙻𝙰𝚂𝚃  𝙽𝙰𝙼𝙴  𝙾𝙽  𝙷𝙸𝚂  𝙻𝙸𝚂𝚃      --      𝚃𝙷𝙴  𝙻𝙰𝚂𝚃  𝙲𝙷𝙰𝙽𝙲𝙴  𝙰𝚃  𝚁𝙴𝙳𝙴𝙼𝙿𝚃𝙸𝙾𝙽

metal digits grip the ceramic mug ,      liquid remaining untouched as eyes quickly survey they room before fixating on the door again :      it’s a nasty habit he’d picked up from his years working for hydra ,      but deeply ingrained habits aren’t the only thing that haunts his attempts at some semblance of redemption .      eyes drop to the flimsy paper cover of steve’s notebook before gloved fingers flip to the bookmarked page ,      before he studies the list of names scrawled down on coffee-stained pages .      one final name remains uncrossed ,      the one that he’d been avoiding for the longest :            ‘      𝚝 .      𝚜𝚝𝚊𝚛𝚔 .      ’            there’s a quiet jingle of the doorbell as glass door swings open ,      cold rush of air entering the cafe as howard’s son enters the tiny café .

bucky had been following tony for weeks ,      had been trying to find his own fucked-up version of an apology for all that he’d done in the past            (      for all that he’d been forced to do      ) .            he still wasn’t sure what to say ,      still wasn’t sure how he could look tony in the eyes      --      after all ,      how do you apologize for murdering someone’s entire family ?      the resemblance between tony and his father was uncanny ,      𝚜𝚎𝚎𝚒𝚗𝚐  𝚑𝚒𝚜  𝚏𝚒𝚐𝚞𝚛𝚎  𝚒𝚜  𝚎𝚗𝚘𝚞𝚐𝚑  𝚝𝚘  𝚋𝚛𝚒𝚗𝚐  𝚋𝚊𝚌𝚔  𝚝𝚑𝚎  𝚗𝚒𝚐𝚑𝚝𝚖𝚊𝚛𝚎𝚜  𝚝𝚑𝚊𝚝  𝚋𝚞𝚌𝚔𝚢  𝚑𝚊𝚍  𝚋𝚎𝚎𝚗  𝚝𝚛𝚢𝚒𝚗𝚐  𝚝𝚘  𝚊𝚟𝚘𝚒𝚍 .

it’s a mission like any other ,      a simple retrieval and assassination      --      there was no security detail to get through ,      almost no police cameras to worry about .      the car swerves into a pole ,      and he rips off the door with no hesitation :      his target says a name ,      but there’s no recognition on the winter soldier’s face ,      no remorse as he delivers the final blow .      killing the wife comes just as easily to him ,      he’s a machine built for carnage and war and nothing more .

ceramic cracks and shatters under an iron grip ,      chocolate hues glaze over as the hot liquid burns the leather of his gloves ,      pools on the table and drips to the floor .      it’s only then that eyes look upward ,      that he is forced to face the demons he’d spent far too long running from .      steve had believed that bucky was capable of redemption ,      had risked his life to prove that bucky could still be saved            (      even with all the red on his ledger ,      even with the murderous intent in his eyes      ) .            steve had never given up hope ,      but bucky had given up long before being saved .

𝙱𝚄𝙲𝙺𝚈 :      tony …

he barely recognizes the voice that comes out ,      had barely been able to recognize himself since the downfall of hydra .      he’d spent so long being the monster that hydra had built him to be ,      spent so long under their control ,      he’d forgotten how to by anything else            (      barely remembered what it was like to live      ) .

𝙱𝚄𝙲𝙺𝚈 :      do you remember who i am ?

everything in him hopes that the answer will be no ,      but how could tony ever forget the face of his father’s killer ?

                    ‘  i’m underwater with no air in my lungs ; my eyes are open and i’m done giving up. if i survive, i’ll dive back in,  ’

𝙸𝙽𝚃. :      𝚂𝙷𝙴  𝚆𝙰𝚂  𝚂𝚃𝚄𝙲𝙺  𝚆𝙸𝚃𝙷  𝙱𝙰𝙱𝚈𝚂𝙸𝚃𝚃𝙸𝙽𝙶  𝙳𝚄𝚃𝚈      --      𝚂𝙷𝙴  𝙷𝙰𝙳  𝙽𝙾  𝙸𝙳𝙴𝙰  𝙷𝙾𝚆  𝚃𝙾  𝙲𝙰𝚁𝙴  𝚃𝙷𝙴  𝚆𝙰𝚈  𝙷𝙴  𝚆𝙰𝙽𝚃𝙴𝙳  𝙷𝙴𝚁  𝚃𝙾

if there’s one thing that ruby’s learned during her time back on earth ,      it’s that the winchester boys had a flair for the dramatics …      humourless laughter ensues as she lifts beer bottle to her lips ,      golden hues study him from across the motel room as liquid swirls in her mouth and pools in her gut ,      as sam references what she can only assume to be his response to dean’s inevitable fate .      ruby wipes away the condensation ,      takes a moment to relish in the feeling of the cool liquid on skin that isn’t quite hers ,      before she offers him a gentle shrug .      there was much that she’d missed during her time in hell ,      but heart to hearts weren’t one of them .      smile is forced upon her expression ,      brows raise for a moment as she leans back on the motel bed ,      legs cross as she places the beer down on the side table .

𝚁𝚄𝙱𝚈 :      we’re going to figure it out ,      i promise you .

it’s a lie as good as any ,      one meant purely to manipulate the youngest winchester into believing that there’s still hope            (      that dean could be saved from decades being tortured in the pits      ) .            if she’d still had her humanity ,      if she’d still had any fraction of a soul ,      maybe she’d pity him :      losing dean would rip sam apart ,      would harden him into the perfect vessel that azazel wanted him to be .      𝚛𝚞𝚋𝚢  𝚠𝚘𝚞𝚕𝚍  𝚠𝚊𝚝𝚌𝚑  𝚒𝚝  𝚊𝚕𝚕  𝚑𝚊𝚙𝚙𝚎𝚗  𝚏𝚛𝚘𝚖  𝚝𝚑𝚎  𝚜𝚒𝚍𝚎𝚕𝚒𝚗𝚎𝚜 ,      would torture the winchesters herself if it meant reconnecting with the memories she so desperately craved ,      if it meant remembering her life before the endless pain and suffering and torture .

𝚁𝚄𝙱𝚈 :      he’ll be okay ,      we’ll make sure of it .

𝙸𝙽𝚃. :      𝙰  𝚃𝙾𝚆𝙽  𝚃𝙷𝙰𝚃'𝚂  𝚄𝙽𝙵𝙰𝙼𝙸𝙻𝙸𝙰𝚁  𝚃𝙾  𝙷𝙴𝚁      --      𝚃𝙷𝙴  𝙿𝙴𝚁𝚂𝙾𝙽  𝙱𝙴𝙵𝙾𝚁𝙴  𝙷𝙴𝚁  𝙽𝙾  𝙻𝙴𝚂𝚂  𝚂𝙾

words are harsh and biting ,      tone no less so ,      all of it targeted at the one person that she’d always expected to be there            (      the person that left her behind like it was nothing      ) .            eyes are avoidant as arms cross over her chest ,      a failed attempt at self-comfort in a time where she had absolutely nobody .      bonnie wasn’t sure what she’d expected from their reunion ,      wasn’t sure exactly what she’d wanted from caroline in the first place :      she was chasing nothing more than a ghost ,      𝚊  𝚕𝚒𝚗𝚐𝚎𝚛𝚒𝚗𝚐  𝚖𝚎𝚖𝚘𝚛𝚢  𝚘𝚏  𝚝𝚑𝚎  𝚕𝚒𝚏𝚎  𝚝𝚑𝚎𝚢’𝚍  𝚜𝚑𝚊𝚛𝚎𝚍  𝚐𝚛𝚘𝚠𝚒𝚗𝚐  𝚞𝚙 .      she realized now that it was all a mistake ,      that in the end ,      she had nowhere to turn            (      nobody to trust ,      nobody to rely on      ) .

𝙱𝙾𝙽𝙽𝙸𝙴 :      there’s nothing you can do to fix something that’s shattered .

words are harsh and unwavering ,      but there’s a falter in her delivery ,      voice cracking under all the pressure of all the hurt and pain and sadness :      she’d been abandoned by everyone ,      had lost everyone that she’d ever been close to .      elena now siding with the vampires that plagued the town of mystic falls ,      caroline starting a whole new life and forgetting about her completely …

𝙱𝙾𝙽𝙽𝙸𝙴 :      i’m honestly not even sure why i came here ,      𝚠𝚑𝚢  𝚒  𝚝𝚑𝚘𝚞𝚐𝚑𝚝  𝚝𝚑𝚊𝚝  𝚜𝚎𝚎𝚒𝚗𝚐  𝚢𝚘𝚞  𝚠𝚘𝚞𝚕𝚍  𝚌𝚑𝚊𝚗𝚐𝚎  𝚊𝚗𝚢𝚝𝚑𝚒𝚗𝚐 .

          𝚃𝙷𝙴𝚈 𝙷𝙰𝚅𝙴 𝙱𝙾𝚃𝙷 𝙱𝙴𝙴𝙽 𝚁𝙸𝙿𝙿𝙴𝙳 𝙾𝙿𝙴𝙽 ,     &     eventually   forced   into   capitulation.     she ,   the   widow   rising   towards   greatness      ,     (     on   a   fresh   morning   in   a   cold      ,     &     broken   world      ,     )     ;     though   something   is   in   her   eyes ,   faint ,   but   still   there     …     &     she   is   focused ,   more   so   as   she   glared   ahead.     [     her   training   is   a   dance   she   is   close   to   mastering     ]     a   sharp   inhale   at   the   weight   of   his   hand   on   her   shoulder     /     eyes   are   quick   to   dart   to   him ,     &     a   slight   relief   relaxes   her   tense   muscles.

     “     солдат ,     ”     brief   pause ,   then     :     “     доброе   утро.     ”

     she   is   used   to   his   familiarity   already     …     his   aura ,   his   tones   ;     him.     he   was   the   breath   of   fresh   life   in   the   company   of   the   unsightly   horror   of   the   red   room.     even   if   the   future   sees   him   leaving ,   he   has   made   some   brief   moments   bearable.

          “     yes ,     ”     simplistic   answer   paired   with   a   curt   nod     ;     he   is   already   walking     &     she   is   quick   to   match   his   pace.     a   neutral   expression ,   hoping   nothing   is   to   give   her   away   with   sight   set   exclusively   ahead     (     but   eyes   are   watching   them     …     mostly   him     -     she   is   no   one     ;     but   one   of   many ,     &     unlike   him ,   disposable     ).

     their   steps   give   the   gift   of   a   soft   echo   within   the   momentary   silence   that   surrounds   them     ;     other   widows   left   behind     (     like   their   past   lives     )     as   they   walk.

           “     why     ?     ”     it   needs   no   explanation ,   but     :     tell   her   your   despair     &     she   shall   tell   you   hers     …     though   she   has   no   apparent   reason   for   honesty   anymore     [     but   maybe   she   could   find   one     ].

𝙸𝙽𝚃. :      𝙳𝙾𝙴𝚂  𝙷𝙴𝚁  𝙿𝙰𝚂𝚃  𝙷𝙰𝚄𝙽𝚃  𝙷𝙴𝚁 ?      --      𝙳𝙾  𝚃𝙷𝙴  𝙼𝙴𝙼𝙾𝚁𝙸𝙴𝚂  𝙼𝙰𝙺𝙴  𝙻𝙸𝙵𝙴  𝚆𝙾𝚁𝚃𝙷  𝙻𝙸𝚅𝙸𝙽𝙶 ?

he held no pleasant memories of his past ,      had nothing anchoring him to his humanity :      bucky was nothing more than a weapon of mass destruction ,      a machine with the intent to kill .      sometimes he wondered if his history would only hold him back ,      if it was something that natasha and the other widows struggled to overcome in their own training .      even his emotions were carefully regulated ,      any and all memories of sadness or empathy replaced with sheer rage and animosity      --      his approach to training hadn’t been much different ,      until natasha .

𝚑𝚎  𝚠𝚘𝚗𝚍𝚎𝚛𝚜  𝚠𝚑𝚊𝚝  𝚒𝚝  𝚒𝚜  𝚊𝚋𝚘𝚞𝚝  𝚑𝚎𝚛  𝚝𝚑𝚊𝚝’𝚜  𝚍𝚒𝚏𝚏𝚎𝚛𝚎𝚗𝚝 ,      why he found himself caring for her more than the other widows            (      it was a relationship that had to end quickly ,      one that would only lead to the downfall of them both      ) .

𝙱𝚄𝙲𝙺𝚈 :      your training has been going well .      лучше,      чем многие из ваших сверстников .

tone remains monotonous ,      eyes remain fixated on the path before them as metal fingers flex and curl into fists .      he was a bogeyman ,      a ghost story told to scare little russian children ,      every bit the brute that hydra had built him to become :      he had been human once upon a time ,      he’d had a family and friends in another life .      memory nothing more than a cloudy haze ,      subconscious fighting for control over his own body      --      he’d been given momentary freedom to roam around the red room ,      but how long before hydra sold his assets to the highest bidder ?      how long before he would need to take another life ?

𝙱𝚄𝙲𝙺𝚈 :      your superiors have taken notice .      𝚝𝚑𝚎𝚢  𝚠𝚊𝚗𝚝  𝚝𝚘  𝚊𝚜𝚜𝚒𝚐𝚗  𝚢𝚘𝚞  𝚝𝚘  𝚢𝚘𝚞𝚛  𝚏𝚒𝚛𝚜𝚝  𝚖𝚒𝚜𝚜𝚒𝚘𝚗  𝚜𝚘𝚘𝚗 .

eyes always watching them ,      always watching him :      he doesn’t doubt that their superiors are reporting back to hydra ,      that the men standing guard are treating him like another one of their little experiments .      that’s all any of them will be      --      lab rats to men with money and power .

𝙱𝚄𝙲𝙺𝚈 :      ты думаешь ты готов ?

               just      like      love      to      make      a      big      deal      out      of      nothing.            yeah,         joe      lied,         but      love      has      forgiven      people      for      a      lot      less.            hell,         she      was      with      milo      even      though      he      had      an      undeniably      obvious      small      dick.            no      one      on      this      earth      with      an      acceptable      penis      could      wear      grey      sweatpants      without      so      much      as      a      bulge.            how      could      she      so      easily      forgive      the      less      endowed      but      not      a      good      guy      who      happened      to      tell      a      small      fib      about      what      his      name      was?            names      are      a      figment      of      imagination,         anyway.            ❝         twins,         remember?            our      shared      blood      gives      me      permission      to      lovingly      meddle      in      every      aspect      of      your      life.         ❞            another      exhale      of      his      joint,         a      single      cough      being      stifled      in      his      throat.            ❝         pros      and      cons.            con,         he      lied      about      his      name.            pro,         who      cares?            everyone      comes      to      la      to      start      a      new      identity,         life,         whatever      poetic      shit      you      want      to      call      it.         ❞

𝙸𝙽𝚃. :      𝚂𝙷𝙴  𝙼𝚄𝚂𝚃  𝚃𝚁𝙴𝙰𝙳  𝙻𝙸𝙶𝙷𝚃𝙻𝚈      --      𝙲𝙰𝙽'𝚃  𝚁𝙸𝚂𝙺  𝙵𝙾𝚁𝚃𝚈  𝚁𝚄𝙸𝙽𝙸𝙽𝙶  𝙷𝙴𝚁  𝙿𝙻𝙰𝙽𝚂

the eye roll can’t be helped ,      heavy sigh quickly follows suit as arms cross over her chest :      of course forty would come to joe’s defense ,      of course forty would try convincing her to get back together with him .      little does her twin know ,      love’s already devised a plan ,      a way to figure out whether or not joe would ever truly be honest with her            (      if he would be comfortable enough to show her his real self ,      all the dark and ugly parts about him      ) .            milo was expendable ,      nothing more than an accessory to the            ‘      𝚕𝚘𝚟𝚎  𝚊𝚗𝚍  𝚓𝚘𝚎      ’            epic romance .      she could see it ,      forty could see it ,      but could joe ?

𝙻𝙾𝚅𝙴 :      i so don’t have time for this forty .      𝚊𝚝  𝚕𝚎𝚊𝚜𝚝  𝚖𝚒𝚕𝚘  𝚒𝚜  𝚑𝚘𝚗𝚎𝚜𝚝  𝚠𝚒𝚝𝚑  𝚖𝚎 ,      at least he cares .

she’s aware of milo’s obsession with her ,      knows that his intentions are anything but pure ,      but none of it matters when she has joe :      joe would be able to accept her ,      joe would be able to understand everything about her .      she could finally be happy ,      finally have the family she’d always dreamt of …      how far would joe be willing to go ,      how much was he willing to sacrifice for them to be together ?

𝙻𝙾𝚅𝙴 :      joe ...      or will …      or whatever the fuck his name is …      he’s not good for me right now .      milo      --      milo really could be .