a fanfiction hole

in all her few years of living, clare’s come to one conclusion and one conclusion only about the nature of life- that when it gets boring, trouble comes knocking. she and her friends get banned from the tavern- they’re caught sneaking into the brewery and immediately banned from there as well. a handsome member of the clericry drops by and she’s looped into some absurd story concerning a resurrecting dog and the weeping statue. her second portion of this thesis, yet unconfirmed, is that things very often get boring where she is, amplifying the daily chance of getting into trouble.

it doesn’t help that she doesn’t really know what to do. it occurs to her at the worst times- when michelle takes the bulletin board from the tavern (the particular offense which got them banned), her panic subsides frighteningly quickly into a feeling of ennui at the realization that michelle is good at what she does. as dubious as it is as a profession, you can often get away with these things if you’re willing to get good at it. the light in michelle’s eyes is aflame when they look through the window of a tailor’s store and onto the luxurious pleats of a display dress and clare doesn’t doubt for a minute that she’ll get good at it. possibly too good. her practice already causes a lot of collateral damage for their little group. and then, clare thinks, there’s orla. orla with her surprising competence and enthusiasm for a variety of acts and professions. her attitude and peculiarities are not always as charming to others as they are to clare, but those people haven’t seen her with a knife in her palm. broadly too good-willed to take the same path as michelle, at any opportunity orla’s mother will extol her daughter’s proficiency for identifying and tracking wildlife. orla, meanwhile, smiles in what clare guesses is agreement with these compliments.

so, you think orla’s shaping up to be a ranger then?

aye. isn’t she built for it?

the conversation between sarah and mary replays in clare’s mind beneath the tree she’s under, indulging in one of the few available moments of silence. a surprising flash of blue flits from under the grey clouds, and she smiles at the thought of better weather incoming.

erin wants to be a bard, she thinks. the kind of unconventional one that focuses more on poetry and writing than the typical singing and acrobatics. orla is more the one for the dancing. erin’s poetry is… growing, and advancing, full of endearing optimism more than thoroughbred quality. she will never skip an opportunity to read it in front of others, and clare has to admire her courage. anything in that vein would make clare lock up quickly, something she became all too aware of once she hit the age where everyone else was preening and dancing for mates or just simple matters of vanity. where her confidence lied, she was never sure enough to pursue it.

james makes her feel a little more confident. not in herself, but more that things will be okay even if she hasn’t chosen yet. for all the teasing he endures there’s something remarkable about the fact he hasn’t gotten completely discouraged. his brief flirtation with the clericry ended with a fairly dramatic bang, then a slow fizzle out, once the man of faith he admired underwent his own crisis of conscious. he hasn’t spoken about the event since, a choice which clare considers wise. nor has he spoken about any other future goals. but maybe he’s saving it, in case he goes home. clare tries to push that out of her mind.

maybe i’ll become a wizard, clare contemplates. there are a lot of other non-classed professions out there she’s interested in, like a librarian or a journalist. but if everyone else is contemplating a class, it feels out of place to not think alongside them and on their terms at least for a little bit. wizards do a lot of studying and training- it’s a tentative thought, but clare hopes that she’ll be able to make it into some kind of prestigious institution once she’s done with the academy. and if there’s any talent of hers she knows about, it’s being ever-so-enthusiastic about whatever topic of study or passing interest catches her mind at any time. this goes along with the curiousity- albeit a different sort of curiousity to the type which propels michelle to take and fiddle with everything that’s not nailed down. more a curiousity about the world and the people who live in it. tropical beaches with fantastic wildlife stretching for days on end. thick alpine forests stocked with dangerous game and whole crops of mushrooms sprouting from the fragrantly decaying floor. great cities full of sound and light with beautiful women from all over the world congregating in the taverns, taverns she isn’t banned from because of the bad decisions her friends make. meeting a girl a little older than her with brown curls and soft wandering eyes, asking to take her photo with the rudimentary camera equipment she’s picked up from a strange store with an even stranger proprietor. taking stock of these wonders in her freckled face as the device clicks into action and clare asks her to pause, which she does so willingly for the little space of time it needs to operate properly and capture her at her best.

This time around, standing in front of the strange whirring machine Dedede keeps in one of his spare rooms isn’t so intimidating. Kirby and Meta Knight know it leads back to home just as Dedede does, its purplish-blue energy no longer threatening once the sense of certainty and familiarity was present. Just a few more minutes for them to collate all of their bags, say goodbye to their temporary neighbours and make sure everything in the house was safely turned off. Then it was back to the world they were most familiar with, regardless of how charming Earth and its various eateries of varying quality could be. Dedede had insisted on taking care of the last few pieces, so all that was left for Kirby and Meta Knight was to stand in front of the portal which would lead them home.

“Are you ready to return?” Meta Knight prompted, watching the portal fiz and pop like human sweets in soda. Without saying anything, Kirby nodded and drew closer to Meta Knight’s leg, clinging on and trying to climb up his back. “It’ll be strange adjusting to being in a different body. Not that I won’t be relieved to feel more like myself again.”

Almost immediately after Meta Knight stops speaking, Dedede barges in with the last few bags- mostly things that Kirby had brought with him onto Meta Knight’s vessel and which couldn’t be kept in the castle. Heaving them onto the ground with an overdramatic sigh and meeting Meta Knight’s eye, he turns to face the other two.

“You ready to head home, huh? Sure look like it, standing there like statues staring at this damn thing.”

“What else are we supposed to do in here? You specifically instructed us to not mess with it. I’m following your command.”

“I’m just jokin’, honey.”

“I’m ready.”

-------------

“Let me tell you about my dream.” Dedede says. Meta Knight nods, and takes another sip of his coffee when Dedede begins.

“It happens before any of this shit goes down. Actually, I don’t know when this happens, and Kirby isn’t there. I guess we’re humans because that’s what my brain is at the moment, but who knows. It won’t change when we get back home, I promise. You get it?”

Meta Knight looks up from his coffee. “Yeah, I get it.”

“Right, good. So the dream starts with us on the couch together, just like on one of those days we stuck around in there and watched human TV while Kirby played outdoors. I’m on the left, you’re on the right, and I have the remote. So obviously I picked what’s on TV. It’s some comedy film- listen, the content of the TV isn’t important. I don’t know why I’m even telling you about this.”

“I find your storytelling very illuminating, Dedede.”

“Thanks. So even though you don’t have the remote, you somehow turn the TV off and turn to me. You tell me there’s something more interesting than watching TV together that we can do. And I’m confused for a minute because I know that the TV is pretty kickass. And then…” There’s another silence between them.

“Then what?” Meta Knight replies, his expression piercing Dedede’s eyes.

“Well.” He gulps. “You come and you kiss me on the lips. It doesn’t last long, but it’s real exciting in the dream, you know? And you ask me if I enjoy it. Dream me isn’t so worried about my shitty parents, so he says yes, because it’s true. So you stop standing over me and get on my lap and  wonder for a moment if I died on my sleep and I’ve gone to heaven, which seems like a pretty weird thing to wonder if I wasn’t really into you kissing me at the moment.”

“Correct. Though it’s not abnormal to dream about people you’re not fond of, even in a romantic context.”

“Can you not be a spoilsport, please? I was just about to tell you about how you got on my lap and began kissing me more, all over my face. It feels goofy, you know? But also right. Maybe you annoy me sometimes, but there’s nobody I’d rather have annoying me than you, so…”

“I was quite affectionate in this dream.”

“You betcha. Most of the other end is kind of hazy, so I don’t have too many fine details about that bit, but c’mon. I had a whole kissing dream about you. That’s not the stuff that happens if you’re full of anger at the idea of two dudes kissing each other.”

“I suppose not.” Meta Knight’s coffee mug is almost drained from the amount of pensive caffeine consumption he’s endured over the last hour they’ve been talking with each other. Dedede wonders why, as the coffee he buys is pretty shitty- he has to drink it, and all coffee tastes exactly the same to him regardless of any quality or stated flavours. “Then… are you open to continuing with an alternative relationship? An alternative to friendship, I mean. Of course, I understand if your answer is no. This is of course not a great decision to ask you to make on the spot.”

“Geez, stop talking so fast and let me say what I want first. I wanna have an alternative relationship or whatever the hell it’s called with you. I mean, it’ll be new and shit, but I think I’m okay with that idea.”

“…I like that very much. With that in mind, though, we’ll have to inform Kirby of the changes in a way that he can handle and understand.” Without thinking about it too much, Dedede slides his hand onto the centre of the table. Noticing this, Meta Knight meets this with his own hand. The warmth underneath is new and welcome, sending his heart rate high almost immediately.

“He knows about people kissin’, right? It’s not like we can give him a sadder idea of relationships than Taranza and the spider chick I had to fight. Oof, that situation just upsets me.”

“Granted,” Meta Knight replies “but it will be a change regardless. And it puts us in… Awkwardly, more of a fatherly position towards him. Both of us. He will be independent, but the two of us will be a unit.”

“Honestly, I think if that was going to be a problem we’d have found it out by now. We’ve basically been acting like his dads for ages now and he’s only run away and stolen my money once.”

“Which is perhaps too low of a bar.”

“Come on.” Dedede can’t stop grinning when their banter picks up. “He has good intentions, always. We should go to him with the same.”

Without any prompting, both Dedede and Meta Knight stand up in tandem, lifting their hands from the table. It takes them only a few seconds to kiss, quiet and loving in the curtain-darkened room.

----

It takes a week full of distraction and hushed intimacy for Meta Knight and Dedede to come up with a workable explanation for Kirby. Meta Knight gets to be the one who sits down with Kirby, under the pretense of talking about going back to Popstar, and tell him about the way things have changed underneath his nose.

“You wanna talk, Meta Knight?” The way he curls up on the sofa with his legs tucked in at any opportunity is adorable, Meta Knight notes.

“Mhm.” As if to intentionally contradict his statement, Meta Knight clams up for a moment before working up the courage to speak again. “You know… You know how, sometimes, two people love each other a lot? And they have a special connection.”

“Being married.”

“That’s... a big version of that. But like being married.”

“Yeah, I know. What does this have to do with going home?” He’s adorable, but learning to talk has only made him mouthier, Meta Knight thinks to himself.

“Me and… Dedede. We have that connection. But not being married yet. He wanted me to tell you that.”

“Oh.” In the moment, Meta Knight couldn’t tell if he’d said the right thing or not. “But we’re still going home on time, right?” Okay, I can work with this.

“Nothing is going to change, I promise you. You’ll still have to get stronger every day, and we’ll do the same.”

CH. 31

“I’m not buying you a dessert.”

It’s the first thing Meta Knight says to Kirby when he sits himself down at the table. Now distracted from his thoughts of reconciling Dedede and Meta, thinking entirely about desserts, he grunts in frustration and slaps the laminated menu down on the table. The gust of air lifts Meta Knight’s loose, un-brushed hair up, and he laughs at the temporary return to normality. It similarly distracts him from the fact that they don’t have any money to pay for the steak Meta Knight ordered, and they certainly don’t have the money to pay for a dessert that Kirby might want.

“Aw. You’re no fun.” The humour and carefree attitude that Kirby exhibits towards the situation at hand never fails to entertain Meta Knight. “But I’m glad I found you here!”

“Yeah.” Meta Knight pauses to think, chewing on a piece of the rubbery and tasteless meat. “How did you even figure that I was going to be here? I never told you.”

“Well…” Kirby smiles broadly. “You were mad at Dedede.” This time, Meta Knight flinches upon realizing that Kirby wasn’t as oblivious about the situation as he had hoped. “And when you’re mad at someone, you want to do things that will make them mad! And the Outback Steakhouse makes Dedede very, very mad.” The emphasis Kirby places on the final “very” makes it hard for Meta Knight to not laugh out loud. Still, the fact that Kirby made the journey alone is concerning and confusing for him.

“You should have asked Dedede to bring you here. Going on your own here was irresponsible and dangerous.”

“But,” Kirby replied, “he wouldn’t go here. Especially if he knew you were here, because you can’t get along right now. And I don’t understand why.”

Meta Knight freezes. Now’s the time it has to be explained to him. Or he has to tell a lie- and live with it for the rest of his life. He could clear it up when Kirby was older, but he’d rather commit to what he said now so that they could live in peace. Taking a deep breath, he speaks.

“I told Dedede something personal. And he got angry at me for what I said. Then it got more intense, so the conflict emerged between us. Now… Well, I’d like to make it up to him. But he will need to apologize first.” Kirby looks pensive for a moment after Meta Knight speaks, then turns his eyes to Meta Knight.

“So… if I can make Dedede say sorry for what he said, then it’ll be okay, and we’ll all be friends?” Distracted for a moment, Meta Knight realized just how far Kirby had come during their trip. How quickly he picked up speech in comparison to humans. That, for all the shit he’d given Dedede, he had been instrumental during this time.

It took him a moment, but eventually he could speak. “I suppose. We’ll have to have an adult conversation about the issue, of course. Something that you’re too young for.” And though Kirby’s disappointment at not being privy was apparent, the little starry light in his eyes made Meta Knight confident he’d given the right response.

----

Dedede was halfway through a rather intense panic attack when his phone rung. His initial reaction was to ignore it, forgetting his conversation with Meta Knight, but when the caller name and image appeared he couldn’t have responded to the call faster. Holding it to his ear, not knowing when to speak, Dedede listened for Meta Knight’s voice on the other side of the line.

“I’ve found Kirby.”

And he was sure it was a prank, some sort of cruel trick that Meta Knight was pulling on him in revenge for his complete ineptness, until he heard Kirby’s voice in the background with its energy and its youth.

“Is he really calling? Hey, Dedede! Dedede! I’m here!”. All Dedede could do was take a large gulp of air and try his best to speak.

“…No kiddin’, Meta. How in the world did that happen?”

“Kirby got the instinct that I would be in this place, and he was right. You-“ Meta Knight turned to Kirby so he could speak.

“-took the bus! All the way here to the Outback Steakhouse.” Between knowing Kirby had taken the bus halfway across town without supervision, and that he had taken it to Outback Steakhouse, something snapped within Dedede upon hearing.

“C’mon, okay. Scratch everything else, I’m coming to pick you guys up whether you like it or not. And you better get in the car, because you’re not spending any longer in that place if I can help it.”

“…I went here to make you mad, honestly.” Meta Knight replied. “I’m sorry. I just didn’t know what to do. Because I was… mad at myself.”

“We can talk about it at home, alright Meta? Seeya soon.”

When Dedede’s voice was no longer pumping through the phone, Meta Knight knew the conversation was over. But for the first time in a while, there was a glimmer of light in their relationship.

And the phone rang again.

“Shit,” Dedede said when Meta Knight picked up, “I forgot that you took the car in the first place. You, uh… you wanna come home in that car? I promise I’ll only punch you once, and it’ll be soft. On the shoulder.”

“Okay, Dedede. Just as soon as we… figure out a way to pay for the steak I ordered. It’s terrible, and we don’t have any money.”

“Didn’t Kirby take my wallet?” Meta Knight turned to Kirby with exasperation on shock on his face.

“Did you really take Dedede’s wallet? That’s unacceptable.” In the second between the two sentences, Kirby had rooted around in his pocket and fished out the brown-leather packet, handing it to Meta Knight. “But I guess we’ll have to use it so we can get out of here.”

“…I’m going to call the bank and ask if they can take this transaction off my record.”

CH. 32

Two mugs of coffee lie on the table when Dedede and Meta Knight sit down to talk. With the scent lingering in the air, Meta Knight keeps his face pressed down to the tabe until Dedede arrives for the second time with his own mug, waiting until he can drink from it. Though it’s a hot day, Meta Knight can’t help but admit that it’s a tiring one and that the AC is on high in the building, so he drinks hungrily from the mug as soon as it’s cool enough. Dedede laughs when he nearly burns his tongue on the liquid.

“I should have made iced coffee, huh?” The friendly tone is back and Meta Knight can’t be more thankful.

“It doesn’t matter.” Despite the heat, Meta Knight takes in another sip of the unsweetened coffee. “Thank you. For this, and everything.”

“I don’t know why you’re saying that. I should be saying that. Hell, I should be saying it a thousand times over- thank you. You’ve put up with some unbelievable mess from my end. And you- you don’t deserve it. Anything I did or anything I said about you. That was mean. All the nice stuff I’ve said still applies.”

“You have a very brusque way of apologizing, don’t you? But I do appreciate it. And I suppose that when I’ve been cruel, the same still applies. You are not the bad person I’ve made you out to be.” The pause in conversation after this gives Dedede a moment to take a sip of his own drink and consider the situation.

“But I was a jerk to you about… That stuff. You know. In the café and whatever, why you actually got so mad at me you stole my goddamn car.. I don’t think I can be sorry so easily about that, you know?” Meta Knight takes similar pause upon hearing the words, then looks at Dedede.

“It would mean a lot to me to know you’ve changed your opinion on the matter.”

“One million times over, dude. I don’t know who I thought I was then, being like that. It’s not like I’ve ever really dated a dame or whatever. Not my place to talk.” For the moment, he holds his tongue on the gradual revelation he’s endured since the morning.

“I’m glad to hear it. And I do not intend to pursue you in any way other than our continuing friendship and combined responsibility of protecting and training Kirby and Planet Popstar.” Upon hearing this, however, Dedede finds his tongue harder and harder to hold. It still embarrasses him that he’s thinking of Meta Knight like this- the dream of his lean figure and proper posture melting into them curled up on the couch together, lips locked- but for once amongst many times he’s afraid to let something good escape from his grip so easily.

“You don’t have to be so uptight about it. And, uh, thanks for saying we’re gonna be friends still. Because I wasn’t sure… You know, that it’d still be that way.”

“Even if it’s not in any other way, I still value you immensely as a companion and a colleague.”

Dedede tries to keep silent as he takes in a deep breath, preparing for a possibly unwise plunge. “So, ah… Did you like me in the other sense, then? Because I, uh, am not sure. Based on the stuff you’ve said to me I generally just took it as you being attracted to other dudes in a general sense and not me personally, which might just be me reading the situation badly, but-“

“Yes.”

Dedede’s heart twitched and jumped in his chest. “What, really?”

“I hope this isn’t a negative revelation for you. I understand you are just coming to terms with the situation, but I feel that I should be as honest as possible, as that’s why we’re sitting here. To be honest about how we feel about each other.”

Then the breath catches in his throat and refuses to budge. And it’s almost like a sticky syrup has taken hold of Dedede’s brain as he tries to think of a decent response, anything, that would alleviate the situation and Meta Knight’s obvious perception that Dedede couldn’t return any feelings he had.

“Well.” It’s the only thing Dedede can get out, and he regrets saying it when Meta Knight looks up from his coffee at him, clearly confused. In the moment, he regrets assuming that the rest would come to him once he started the line of thinking, and a pause remains in the air for several seconds. “Actually.” Now it’s obvious what you’re going to say to him, idiot. Unless he takes it and assumes you’re announcing you can’t be friends anymore, which will be the worst. Sometimes you should shut your beak and give yourself a while, even just a little bit of time, to think about what in the world you’re going to convey- “I love you.”

In the ensuing silence, Dedede looks down at his mug in the same way Meta Knight did, petrified by his decision to speak.

“Ah. A-as a friend, then. Well, I appreciate it.”

“No.” More half-thought sentences and unfinished statements. “In the other sense. The one we were talking about. With kissing and calling each other stupid names in public and stuff.”

“…You expressed a distaste at the idea of two men sharing that relationship barely a day ago. I’m not sure I understand.”

“Do you understand that I’m stupid, Meta? I said a bunch of dumb shit because you confronted me with a reality I didn’t want to face. Like always.” It was too similar to Meta Knight’s attempt at usurping Dedede’s control over the kingdom all to protect it.

“But you don’t have to say that you love me just to reassure me your perspective has changed. I do very much believe that this has changed, and I see no reason to presume the opposite.”

Halfway through the charred lump of meat sitting on his plate, Meta Knight remembers that he doesn’t have a wallet on him. He doesn’t have his own- one of Dedede’s old ones and mostly empty at the time of departure- or Dedede’s wallet, which he was conscientious enough to not take. And that while someone on Planet Popstar might be kind enough to give him the benefit of the doubt, Earth was a hostile place full of pressing demands and active hostility towards anyone who let anyone down. It puts him off his meal even more than the food has managed, leaving him no option but to fiddle with his phone again in an attempt to look busy. When the screen comes to light he’s unsurprised that the voicemail from Dedede remains, but a little upset that he hasn’t received any texts or calls within recent history. Because for everything that’s happened, Meta Knight knows he can’t stay mad. Not forever.

---------------

When the sun passes the unobscured bus window, Kirby blinks to shield his eyes. Now without the security of being able to close them, fall asleep and still end up safe, it becomes like a game for him to time the small shutterings with the thrum and pace of the vehicle and its wheels underneath. At peace with the minor inconveniences, only thinking about the potential for him to meet with Meta Knight and fix the conflict, he times it using short taps of his finger on the palm of his other hand.

I think he might be mad if he knows that I went all this way without Dedede’s permission. But then, he might feel more sorry for me if he does, because he’ll see how much I really care about him and being around at the house together. Once he understands, we can be friends again.

He braces himself as the bus grinds to a halt in front of one of the stops, counting the ascension to his destination.

--------------

Dedede knows he can’t justify calling Meta Knight. The chances he knows anything about Kirby’s disappearance is almost nothing considering that Dedede himself hasn’t been able to get through to him. And that there’s no landline for Kirby to contact Meta Knight with. But the impulse is too strong for him to resist- even if for nothing else than that Meta Knight is perhaps the sole person who understands who Kirby is. Whose first response won’t be that Dedede is a negligent caretaker. Which he supposes he is, but not in the drastic fashion that some people would suspect, because Kirby’s powers laid in his intelligence and ability to outwit Dedede time after time after time.

Pushing away his reluctance, he presses the “Call” button on Meta Knight’s contact page and waits for the familiar ringing tune to play.

--------------------

Speak of the devil.

Almost as soon as Meta Knight thinks about Dedede, the familiar name and picture pop up on his screen with the notification of an incoming call. He sits for a second and ponders whether to pick up- the Outback Steakhouse might make the situation much worse if he gives it away and getting kicked out of the restaurant for arguing seems like an ineffective method to escape without paying the bill for his terrible food. But the buzz of the device against his palm makes him inescapably nostalgic for all the times they’d talked before, so he slides the green button to the right and presses the gadget up to his ear expectantly, waiting for a heavy-hearted greeting on the other end.

“Meta, you’re there?”

“I got bored.”

“Well, stop being bored right now,” Dedede states in a panicked voice “because Kirby’s disappeared to fuck know’s where.”

-------------------------

The stop before Kirby’s getting-off point, he can almost feel himself vibrate with excitement. It’s gone as well as he could have orchestrated- a quick and painless journey to the place where Meta Knight was most likely to be. And if he wasn’t there? Kirby hadn’t really contemplated it, feeling like he had a good window into Meta Knight’s psyche, but he was sure that he’d be able to take the bus back home a little later. And he could play in the grass until then. Still avoiding eye-contact with the people around him, knowing that he wasn’t as independent as a young human than he was on Planet Popstar, he ducked his eyes behind his arm for the final few times when the sun blinked through the windows and reflected its heat onto the hot metal bars of the bus.

-----------

Regretting bringing the issue up as the first order of conversation, but happy to have at least reached Meta Knight, Dedede took a few seconds to wait for Meta Knight’s response. When all he got was stunned silence, he decided that some elaboration was in order.

“He got out of the house.” Making the point that Meta Knight had left the door unlocked occurred to him, but he hesitated. Then it struck him. “…He might be looking for you. You didn’t tell him you were going anywhere, right?”

“No.” Not only was Meta Knight seemingly in an abysmal mood, Dedede could tell from his tone that the news of Kirby’s disappearance had been completely unknown to him before. “I… Do you have any clue where he might have gone?”

“Aw man… He’s not in the garden or at the neighbours or anything, none of the ordinary stuff a kid might do. Keep yellin’ his name and it doesn’t work for jack shit.” Both of them knew that Kirby would come when called, if nothing else.

“Try checking for a note or a drawing he might have left, and I’ll brainstorm.”

“Okay, Meta. Call you back soon.” Filled with the adrenaline of being able to say that again, Dedede slid the call away with a sense of pride overcoming his anxiety.

----------

Meeting a woman at the desk when he entered the restaurant, Kirby froze up. He forgot to plan this far and he knew it- his brain had skipped from arriving at the restaurant to reconciling with Meta Knight. So all he could do was ask for him and hope he was there.

“I-I’m looking for… For Meta Knight.” The woman at the desk turned, and Kirby followed the path of her vision to see a nearly-tall blue-haired figure in the distance. “Him! Him! Meta Knight!”

-----

Meta Knight is unsurprised that it doesn’t take long for him to be seated at the Outback Steakhouse. From Dedede’s description of the place as an abysmal hellscape and a disgrace to “Australia”, whatever that was, he didn’t doubt for a moment that it saw its fair share of disgraced bachelors wandering through the doors and asking for a table seating one. Looking around at the discordant decorations and the lifeless servers, he’s also surprised- and regretful- that his bitterness against Dedede prompted him to turn up at a place almost as terrible as he’d had it described to him. Thinking for a moment- well, I might as well lie in the grave I’ve dug- he took his place at the table a member of the apathetic staff directed him to and began to peruse the menu.

-----------------

Of all the embarrassing things in the world, Dedede was convinced at this moment that he was going through the glut of everything ranking high on the list. He’d humiliated and angered his only real friend, acted like a complete hypocrite because of people he didn’t even like, fallen asleep straight after a light breakfast, vented his emotions to strangers on the internet and now- as if it couldn’t get much worse for him- lost the kid he was supposed to be taking care of. A good twenty minutes of searching on his part had returned nothing but the abstract traces of Kirby’s presence- a mostly-eaten breakfast and residual muddy footprints in the hallway in particular. Though he’d managed to assuage Kirby’s apprehension upon hearing him and Meta Knight yell at each other over the phone, every second of the kid’s absence made Dedede a little more sure that Kirby had been pulling the wool over his eyes successfully when he took Dedede’s bluffing at face value.

Especially when the wallet he’d left on the counter was gone. And the door was still unlocked- no doubt Meta Knight hadn’t bothered to lock it after last night, but he hadn’t taken the wallet, just the keys. And, Dedede thought as his heart sank, the only person who’d need that is suddenly nowhere to be found.

 Fuck’s sake, I’m not cut out for this family business.

---------------------

If there was one thing Kirby knew about Meta Knight, it was that he liked to make a show of himself. Not necessarily in a bad way- just that he was desperate to present an image to others. Especially if it was necessary to hide his true feelings. He would never admit to lacking self-confidence, or being upset, or feeling sorry for others. Which, Kirby knew, was why Meta Knight insisted on challenging him to fight instead of caring for him more conventionally. Why he would behave so brusque and walled off towards those he really did care about. And why his inevitable destination in the car he’d procured was always going to be the one place that’d spite Dedede the most- his most detested restaurant in Oklahoma and the world, Outback Steakhouse. A lot of his impassioned rant on the subject had been lost on Kirby, but he’d picked up the core aspect- that Dedede was never going to take Meta Knight there. Which he’d accepted at the time, but was now going to defy.

If there was a second thing Kirby knew about Meta Knight, it was that his constant insistence on projecting an image left him vulnerable. And predictable. The poor state of Meta Knight and Dedede’s relationship wasn’t lost on Kirby, who noticed almost immediately that they stopped the casual intimacy and connection which had grown between them previously. So he rationalized it in his mind-

 if I can get to Meta Knight, I can talk to him, and it’ll all be okay again!

Having grabbed the wallet and snuck out of the house while Dedede remained slumped over asleep in his chair, Kirby felt infinitely thankful that the vivid memory of the restaurant’s location still remained in his mind’s eye. He’d worked out the local bus routes as fast as he could, eventually able to devise one path that included only fifteen minute’s worth of walking. Easy for someone with his energy, and he’d worn his tallest shoes to look as mature as possible while talking to the bus driver.

He just had to hope that Dedede wouldn’t wake up and look for him before he’d left.

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Ten minute’s worth of looking at the menu placed in front of him hadn’t helped Meta Knight make a decision whatsoever. On the brink of some undeterminable breakdown, he’d made the decision in his mind to ask the next server who passed for their recommendation.

“Excuse me, ma’am, can you issue a recommendation as to the recommended dish in this establishment?”

The server looked at him blankly for a moment, confused by his formality but obliged to respond.

“Well, we have a wonderful selection of steak to offer you. And you can have that with.. salad, if you wish.” Meta Knight contemplated the proposition in silence for a few seconds.

“Okay, then. I’ll have the steak.”

“…Which steak would you prefer?” the server asked. Meta Knight shrugged.

“I don’t know. Whichever one you think is the best steak.” Realizing that she wasn’t likely to get any more information from the strange man who shacked up at the restaurant alone, the server moved quickly on to convey the order.

All Meta Knight could think of was Dedede and Kirby. Hoping they were safe. Regretting running away so irresponsibly for no reasonn. Only the tacky interior of the venue kept him from crying, and for that he was thankful.

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