Eternal Dumpster Fire

@wolfythewitch

I actually love the song Yankee Doodle because the lyrics seem like complete fucking nonsense to modern ears. you hear it as a kid and it's like oh dope the Wiggles made a sequel to Jabberwocky. but you look it up and "Yankee Doodle stuck a feather in his cap and called it macaroni" is actually 18th century British for "Americans all want to be hipster twinks but they're too poor and stupid to do it right." and to top it off Americans in general were just like "this is unironically a bop"

fuck all the fake shit.

narrator who's terrible at social cues & describes every facial expression as "unreadable"

"The frown was completely unreadable. Thankfully, the loaded and raised gun offered a clue."

i love the term "joshing." it's slang, meaning to joke or tease playfully. "i'm just joshing you." who is this notorious josh. who joshed so much that the whole concept got named after him

Whenever this photo turns up I remember that all the Joshes came and fought and then they made that little Josh's entire life by declaring him the winner and I get a little choked up.

mormons undoubtedly in the top 5 worst things the united states has ever invented which is really saying something

sorry that sometimes when I stay up too late I start posting abt how much I hate mormonism but the spirit just moves me to do it

like the mormon church is just such a perfect microcosm of everything wrong with christianity as it's practiced among the american right wing. everything abt it is so disgusting. one of the most utterly repulsive spectacles of racism, misogyny, and bigotry to ever leave a stain on the earth

They should block chatgpt on uni WiFi the way they used to block coolmathgames

they should make chatgpt automatically redirect to coolmathgames so you can actually fucking learn something

the world is running out of glassblowers and yet you want to become a fucking doctor

One of the most jarring moments of my university education was in a physics class when I was given a device that measures gravity and was told “this cost the university sixteen thousand dollars, but the only glass blower in the world who could make the glass springs inside it died so it’s literally irreplaceable. If you drop it those springs will shatter. Go fuck around with it for a day and take some measurements”

NGL, one of the biggest things I've learned for my day job is that jobs you knew must exist but never thought about are often taught through technical colleges. If you ever stumble across something and think 'I could do that', look it up! There may be a program out there you can take!

the computer doesn’t respect you. next time, try firm eye contact to establish dominance.

people needdddd to wear headphones in public because while on an otherwise very lovely walk in the park today i saw a guy sitting under a tree watching a porn parody of the star wars prequels

if nothing else trying to tune out the sounds of anakin and padme going to town as i contemplate the babbling brook gave me a brief but vivid window into what it’s like to be obi wan kenobi

ADORABLE

god imagine going on a pub date with your girlfriend and a goose famous across the village for being horrible shows up and very politely puts on a show for the two of you. what a magical date that would be.

Having a really long-term hyperfixation that has since faded is terrifying yes but it's also so embarrassing. Hi I used to think about Scrimblo Splungus 25/7. Yeah, for 2 years straight. Nah, I don't think about them anymore except for with a vague sense of melancholy as I recall how they used to make me feel. Anyways this new one, Blimpkins McGee? I'm gonna think about them forever and the cycle will NOT repeat in 2 years. Trust me guys.