divorced Pizza

Let's do this.

I get it. I see it. With so much peace and love, who wouldn't? When she does that ridiculous thing where she rolls her eyes all the way back and pouts... holy Hell, strike my gay heart down, and I'll ask you to do it twice.

So, I'm going to give you an ironclad How-To that you can absolutely thank me for later. Hold onto something, okay? Because this is the answer you've been searching for all your precious life.

Be a medic.

I'm so serious! (I'm giggling crazy as I write this but I swear to God it's true.)

Be a damn medic. Because nobody in this universe spends more time alone with Abby, not even her vibrator.

Between injuries at the gym, gunshot and arrow wounds, cuts from knives, bruised and broken ribs, dislocated shoulders, fractured knuckles, shrapnel injuries, scrapes, concussions, burns, infections, sprained ankles, migraines, insomnia, freaking tendonitis... need I go on?

This girl is a walking suture magnet, and you? Well, you're her gorgeous, adorable saving grace.

Learn the doctor things. All of them.

She will fall in love with you, and then you'll get to do that cute and devastating thing where you plead with her to stay safe before every mission.

"I’m so fucking serious, Abby. Don’t you dare pull that shit again. I swear, if you come back with another cracked rib or some half-assed excuse about how you 'had it under control,' I’m duct-taping you to a chair until you learn some self preservation."

Careful though, because she'll like the duct tape threat a lot and then she'll have to help you with your muscle soreness and nobody will ever leave their bedroom and the infected will get inside the walls and... all bad. All bad.

I'm shaking my head at myself right now because I wrote this long, poetic paragraph about why Abby would most likely end up in a relationship with a medic, and then I chose to share this instead. So. Welcome to the gong show. Glad you're here.

i'm terribly sorry to all of the sub!abby truthers out there, but let's snap back to reality now. this woman does not bottom. believe me, i loveeeeee me some subby butches (vi, ellie, etc)....but she is not that.

in fact, i'm going to rock the boat and dare to call her a stone top. it's nothing personal against you ofc, but some people just prefer to give rather than receive yk? you getting your nut is the equivalent to her getting one in her eyes, and she loves loves loves playing with you until your brain literally turns off.

her best friend is a 9 inch strap that she drags around everywhere. if she sees an opportunity to rock your shit at any given time, best believe that she's going to take advantage.

she's a creamer. anyways-

she's at least 6 foot, built like a machine and has the biggest (see what i did there?? i'm funny) size kink known to man. it doesn't matter how fit you are or how much you work out bc she's always going to be stronger than you. and since she's a little shit, she's always going to flaunt how much stronger she is by manhandling you into whatever position she wants on her dick. or pulling you into a headlock as she hits it from the back and admiring how far your eyes roll with the cockiest of grins.

swallows your cum and honest to god will spit it back into your mouth. nasty nasty nasty

she's had a few casual sexual encounters prior to meeting you. she's not a virgin (vi) or a whore (sevika), but kind of somewhere in between? like she has enough experience to know what she's doing but her body count rlly isn't that high tbh

her favorite position is a full nelson and she will say it to your face with no shame (with mating presses being a close second). she's making sure that you aren't running from ANYTHING!

she fucked you on the first date. actually, correction. she fucked you halfway through the first date.

^^^ branching off that, she may or may not have stated very very clearly that she wanted to make a baby with you whilst being balls deep in the backseat of her truck.

her tits aren't all that sensitive, but her neck definitely is. suck on her pulse point for long enough and she is putty in your hand.

she's very much all or nothing. if she isn't fingerfucking you with 3 fingers, then she might as well not be fingerfucking you at all. ik that sounds a tad bit painful, but trust. you're so wet from the hours of mind-numbing clit sucking that they just glide right in