A Dusty Closet That I Barely Hang Out In

1. Goodbye until tomorrow:

“You want the last word” oof classic Jamie. He is the one to officially end the relationship. He’s the one who got the last word by leaving her a letter and then running off at the very end of the timeline.

“I will be waiting” Cathy is constantly asking him to wait for her and always saying she will wait for him.

“I open myself one stitch at a time” very very fun recall to the schmuel song where the clock tells schmuel that he just needs one stitch and then he gets to be happy. Cathy’s idea of happiness is cutting open the stitches and being free while Jamie’s is making more stitches and making something beautiful.

“Finally something takes me away! Finally free! Finally he can cut through these strings And open my wings!” Cathy immediately puts a lot of pressure on Jamie to “rescue” her from her previous life which Jamie addresses in I could never rescue you.

2. Shiksa Goddess

Jamie says a lot of things like how it wouldn’t matter if Cathy had a shaved head or tattoo or guns, that she would still be his “goddess.” This is reflected in I can do better than that when Cathy tells him he doesn’t need to get a haircut or eat prosciutto or whatever she just wants him to love her. Jamie also calls Cathy his “Aphrodite” in Moving too fast. This almost implies that he sees her as a muse and she sees him as a lover. He agrees to move in with her immediately after Random House calls him which almost implies “wow I’m dating this hot girl. She’s my muse. Oh wait I’m successful now? This is actually working, I guess I will move in with her like she asked”

“You are the story I should write” I do think he uses her for inspiration which is why he dedicates one of his books to her later.

3. I Can Do Better Than That:

“You don’t have to change a thing just stay with me” once again Cathy talks about how all she needs from him is to stay with her.

“I want you and you and nothing but you. Miles and piles of you. Finally I’ll have something worthwhile to think of each morning” she really hammers home how he’s the only worthwhile thing in her life and how she only needs him which adds more pressure on him to be her everything. Cathy seems to really like the idea of being Jamie’s muse while Jamie seems to find being her everything almost stifling later which he expresses in Nobody Needs to Know.

“Take a look at that town take a look at how far I’ve gone” Cathy got out of her own stifling life but as soon as she got to the city it almost seems like she hit a wall. Like she’s done the work and now she just needs to wait for something big to happen which to be fair is a lot of what happens in showbiz. You work hard and you will probably never get hired but when you are it’s pure luck and you just have to wait for that to happen but Jamie isn’t a career. He’s a person and she’s putting that pressure of a big break onto one man.

“Say you’ll move in with me” which he agrees to in moving too fast.

4. Moving Too Fast:

“Some people stall when they can’t see the trail. Some people freeze out of fear that they’ll fail but I keep rolling on” very much a line that reflects Cathy who can’t see a future without Jamie but Jamie keeps moving regardless.

“Some people can't get success with their art. Some people never feel love in their heart. Some people can't tell the two things apart. But I keep rollin' on” I think Cathy is very much can’t find success with her art but I think some people never feel love in their heart and can’t tell the two things apart is Jamie. He thinks what he feels for Cathy must be love because he’s finding success with her by his side but what he loves is really the success and not necessarily Cathy. He seems to have a lot of issues feeling love for others in Nobody Needs to Know where he can’t seem to give or feel love.

“I met my personal Aphrodite” once again a goddess reference with Cathy because his idea of love seems very skewed. She’s not a person she’s his goddess who inspires his writing.

5. Climbing Uphill:

“But Jamie needs space to write, Since I'm obviously such a horrible, annoying distraction to him,What's he gonna be like when we have kids?” Okay Cathy already planning on having kids with him. Cathy is the only one who brings up interest in having kids.

“I will not be the girl stuck at home in the 'burbs, With the baby, the dog, and the garden of herbs” Exactly what she described not wanting in relation to Carolann in I Can Do Better Than That

“I will not be the girl who gets asked how it feels to be trotting along at the genius' heels, I will not be the girl who requires a man to get by” first signs of bitterness at Jamie’s success paired with her own stagnant progress on her career. It’s also interesting that she says she won’t require a man to get by because she very much expresses an opposite opinion about needing him earlier on and later in the show.

6. The Schmuel Song:

“If I only had time” very much reflects Cathy. She talks about waiting for Jamie, wanting Jamie to wait for her and by Jamie saying the clock responds with “you get to be happy” he’s saying he will wait for her. That’s she has time and she will find success but the problem is Jamie doesn’t really do that. He’s always barreling forward, he says he supports Cathy, and I think he thinks he does, but in the end he’s always more focused on his career and Cathy is focused on her own career but she’s also extremely focused on Jamie’s as well.

“Make one stitch” the opposite of what Cathy actually wants, which is for him to cut her stitches, he wants her to stitch herself back up showing how despite wanting her to succeed in her career, he is stifling her with his own.

“And that very dress, so the papers swore, Was the dress a girl in Odessa wore On the day she promised forevermore To love a young man named Schmuel” Jamie thinks that if Cathy keeps going she could be successful. He’s the girl in odessa here. When Cathy applies herself, she makes something that he can see himself marrying her in. It’s an earlier sign of “if I didn’t believe in you, I’d never have loved you at all”

I also think him saying “you get to be happy” is very sweet. It’s also what Cathy probably wants. She needs him to tell her she can be happy which is probably part of why she feels so depressed later. She needs him to tell her she can be happy but he’s busy jugheading it out here. He ultimately wants her to be more buttoned up and sees that as her way to success but she wants to feel more freedom and sees him as her way to success. They have completely opposite goals.

“Maybe it's just that you're afraid To go out on to a limb-ovich. Maybe your heart's completely swayed But your head can't follow through” literally the type of person he describes in Moving Too Fast

“But shouldn't I want the world to see The brilliant girl who inspires me? Don't you think that now's a good time to be The ambitious freak you are?” The girl who inspires me. Once again she’s his muse. He wants her to go for it and Cathy is too trapped between action and wanting to do that.

“I give you unlimited time” and “take your time” him giving her permission to take her time despite the fact that them never being at the same place at the same time is a factor in what tears them apart. Also why they only sing with eachother in the very middle. They are never at the same point at the same time.

7. The Next Ten Minutes:

“Will you share your life with me for the next ten minutes” they have always worked best in the short term. They love eachother very much but their long term wants and goals pull them in opposite directions.

“I am not always on time. Please don't expect that from me. I will be late But if you can just wait I will make it eventually” she never actually gets the chance to make it because Jamie doesn’t realize that he can’t actually wait. He has to keep going or he gets horribly depressed and sad and cheats on his wife. How pitiful.

“I don't know why people run. I don't know why things fall through. I don't know how anybody survives in this life. Without someone like you” absolutely devastating considering he runs out on her.

Also Jamie asking her to share her life with him can be seen as “let’s share our lives together” as well as “share it with me so I can continue to write these stories where I use you as my inspiration”0Jamie asks if they can share lifetimes together. This lifetime and all the ones he writes about.

“For a million summers” a shame since she spends all subsequent summers in Ohio.

“There are so many dreams I need to see with you” career dreams because she’s an integral part of his career and he doesn’t participate as actively in hers. He doesn’t even see her show in See I’m Smiling.

“I will never be alive” Cathy expressing that she NEEDS HIM TO FEEL ALIVE

“I will never change the world. Until I do” Jamie concluding that his writing will never change the world unless he has Cathy with him.

8. When You Come Home To Me:

Im not gonna breakdown the lyrics here since its just her audition song but it is very telling of her relationship with Jamie. When she finally sees him at home she will try to be better out of the hope that will keep him from leaving again. This makes her bitter and of course he eventually leaves for good. This is also the moment where she thinks she got the role, it turns out that she didn’t, and she is forced to go to Ohio while Jamie’s career soars.

9. A Miracle Would Happen:

Im not even going to try to break down all the lyrics that I have comments about here because they are literally just all about how as soon as he gets married he immediately wants to cheat on his wife. He married her because he wanted to keep her with him but I think he actually finds the marriage very stifling so even though he proposed to her and said he wanted it he ends up choking himself out because he realized that he actually finds that commitment smothering and he ends up blaming Cathy for it in “Nobody needs to know” of course this is also accompanied by her hedging all of her bets on him which is probably also smothering.

“Where I try to show I wasn't encouraging this (Though of course I sort of was)” BAD JAMIE. BAD. ARF ARF ARF

“But it's fine, it's fine, it's fine, You know I love her. And it's fine, it's fine, it's fine—It's what I wanted” clearly not what he actually wanted and probably him realizing that he’s never really seen Cathy as that much of a person because she’s always just been his inspiration.

“We're fine, we're fine, we're fine...I'll be there soon, Cathy. I swear I will...” now him saying he will be with her soon instead of her catching up to him because he’s getting distracted by hot Elise.

10. A Summer In Ohio:

“Look at me! Look at him! Son-of-a-bitch! I guess I'm doing something right! I finally got something right!” Once again Cathy expressing that he is the only thing she got right, piling on the pressure, and he’s looking at his publicists ankles.

“I play Anita at the matinee” I know that Rachel Zegler currently plays her but every other Cathy I have seen is a very white blonde woman. This is how you know that Ohio is desperate. We can’t be casting white Cathy as Anita if we have other options. Good on Rachel zegler for playing Maria and also playing Cathy playing Anita.

11. If I Didn’t Believe in You:

For the sake of some brevity I will skip all the parts where he repeats if I didn’t believe in you blah blah blah because it all comes to the same point that we came to in the schmuel song where he only sees her as his inspiration when he’s looking at her through the lense of what she can do. Going to Ohio is hard for her but it’s also hard for him (for selfish and bad reasons) because it’s a sign of how her career is going nowhere and he wants her to have success but he also wants her to be there for his success. Something that he can’t reciprocate for her.

“Stop blaming and say what you feel” Jamie loves not saying what he feels (looking at you Nobody Needs To Know) but he wants it from Cathy.

“Did you think this would all be much easier than it’s turned out to be” she saw Jamie as the first good thing that she had and he got successful at 23. He wasn’t expecting his career to take off so fast and he doesn’t expect hers to either but I don’t know if he understands that sometimes a career will never take off. Sometimes you work at something forever and never get recognized, especially as an artist.

“All of the ten thousand women you are” she is ten thousand women to him because he’s written ten thousand versions of her. They’ve lived ten thousand lifetimes together but all of those lifetimes are fake. He made them up.

“And, if I'm cheering on your side, Cathy, Why can't you support mine? Why do I have to feel I've committed some felony Doing what I always swore I would do?” Lots to unpack here. On one hand yes he supports her career but not the way she does for him. I didn’t realize that A Part of That happens so late in the timeline so it’s possible that she started getting more involved after this critique but he could also just be being harsh. On the other hand she is clearly bitter about his success and he can see that and that for sure adds tension.

“I think you'll be fine! Just hang on and you'll see—But don't make me wait 'til you do To be happy with you” super unhelpful to say. “I’m sure it will be okay” alright well you have no evidence of that you’re just saying that to placate her and shes in crisis. For the first time we see him say “don’t make me wait” he’s said that he will wait all musical and now he’s saying the opposite. Obviously it would be very hard if you’re spouse was really sad about their failing career and wouldn’t feel better until they finally catch a break but this is more him finally expressing that he doesn’t want to wait anymore.

“I will not fail so you can be comfortable, Cathy. I will not lose because you can't win” the best point Jamie makes the entire show. They both have their issues but it’s much harder to look past Jamie’s. This is Cathy’s big one though.

“If I hadn't believed in you. I wouldn't have loved you at all” MEAN THING TO SAY. also. Back to his standards for her that he has because of the pedestal he immediately put her on the second they met.

12. A Part of That:

“And then he's off on A trip to Jamie-land” as always. He’s always been on a trip to Jamie land.

“I tend to follow in his stride, Instead of side by side I take his cue. True, but there's no question, there's no doubt—I said I'd stick it out And follow through” she’s tired of following him but it’s also the precedent that she set for herself. She’s going to stick it out. She’s always staying still and Jamie is always moving.

“I'm a part of that, Aren't I?” She is a part of that but I don’t think she really realizes it. Her own career is failing so she needs the confidence that she’s important in his and he doesn’t communicate that.

Also in the movie we see her looking at his manuscripts. I don’t know if he asks her to do that or if she just grabs them and reads them. If she just reads them then that could be why Jamie expresses that she doesn’t let him have anything private for himself (but like. He does publish these also. They aren’t just for him) in Nobody Needs to Know.

13. Nobody Needs to Know:

“Cathy is Waiting” he’s putting off seeing her in Ohio. Best way to pass the time is to cheat on your wife I guess.

“I wrote a story And we changed the ending—Cathy, just look at me now!” He wrote a story where they end up happily ever after but in reality they changed the story and made it sad. He seems to think she drove him to cheat which is. Hmmmm. Shame Jamie. Shamie Jamie.

“Put on my armor—I'm off to Ohio. Back into battle 'til I don't know when” it did unfortunately become a situation where neither felt safe or happy in their relationship anymore. Cathy recedes into herself and Jamie does the cheat on your wife version of that.

“Hold on, clip these wings—“ and “conscious deliberate mistake” a reference to Goodbye Until Tomorrow where Cathy said that he would open her wings. He’s making the decision to destroy this relationship because he hates it now

“All that I ask for Is one little corner—One private room at the back of my heart. Tell her I found one She sends out battalions To claim it and blow it apart” we don’t necessarily see Cathy do this but she does hedge her worth on being a part of his career so I won’t write off that she sticks her fingers in all of his pies. But also he cheats on her with his publicist and all publicists do is stick their little hands in everything you loved and mush it around.

“And since I have to be in love with someone. Since I need to be in love with someone. Maybe I could be in love with someone Like you…” I do like the Aromantic Jamie theory but I think this is also him taking Cathy off the pedestal and needing to find someone new to fill her role because he feels like he needs someone like that to find success.

14. See I’m Smiling:

Man I’m tired of writing this post. You see a lot of her trying desperately to hang on to this relationship “I think we’re gonna be okay” “we’ll start again this weekend” “we’re doing fine” “you’re mine” (he did unfortunately just get back from cheating on you. I’m so sorry to say)

“Bend things to and fro to make this love as special as it was five years ago” is absolutely heartbreaking. They can both see that the relationship is over but she just refuses to call it. She even throws in a “just keep rolling along” but we know that Cathy can’t do that. She’s stagnant forever.

Then we have the best part of the song where she finally talks to him the way he asked her to in If I didn’t Believe in You and I don’t think he likes it very much. He literally heads home and leaves her after this.

“You could stay with your wife on her fucking birthday And you could, God forbid, even see my show” it’s her birthday and you aren’t even gonna watch her show? Dude she’s done that 5,000 times for you. Cold man. Cold.

“I swear to God I'll never understand How you can stand there, straight and tall And see I'm crying And not do anything at all…” he finally does nothing. He stops moving, he doesn’t try to help. He just sits and watches, which has been what he thinks holds Cathy Back the whole show.

15. I Could Never Rescue You:

“I could never rescue you All you ever wanted” a fair point from Jamie although he is doing it as he writes his wife a letter and leaves her

“God, I loved you so. So we could fight. Or we could wait. Or I could go...” we know that Jamie will never wait so of course he goes.

This song is sung in conjunction with Goodbye Until Tomorrow and I just love how as Cathy says “goodbye until tomorrow” Jamie only says “goodbye”

16. Still Hurting:

Ok I know that this is just DC giving tips for the Corona Virus but that is his son. I can just picture bruce using this as an excuse not to interact with his kids. “Sorry robin, I can’t. I have to stay six feet away”

“But fath-“

When Alfred realizes how abusive Bruce can be