safe & sound

Oh that one’s a classic. Gets me every time.

The next time I intend to make you laugh I'm gonna push a kid over in front of you.

You’re right actually. Not a lot. No sense of humor.

Really? I was expecting something like children falling over.

Puns are not humor.

Well what do you find funny then?

Funny like the deaths of all your loved ones.

You need a much better sense of humour.

I would rather you shoot me in the face than keep talking.

Excuse you, my jokes are funny.

Do you want me to stab you?

What does Batman like with his drink? Just ice. Get it? Like justice!

If you ever repeat that again I may have to stab something in the face.

A man walks into a bar and asks for helicopter flavoured chips. The bartender says "sorry, we've only got plain."

 Where do you think you’re at now? Judging from how long we’ve been here, I’d say you’re at a solid 30%. But that’s hardly fair. What if it happens to me and I don’t make the transition either? I say it should be the Scott-Rhodes Memorial Building. They can erect a monument in our memories, too.

Yeah, that sounds about right. My organ are probably dust. Shouldn't be long until my outsides are affected. Yeah, sounds fair. We officially have dibs. Yes, and it better be made out of solid gold or we're gonna have a problem.

To do how much?

At least the floor that my room is on.

That actually sounds terrifying. What would the 10% be? Would you have, like, a human head and a dust body? 

I have no idea but I guess we'll find out soon. If I don't make the transition, please call this the Jessica Scott Memorial Building.

How much?

Hm, 40 dollars.

Then don’t. Even if we’re living here for the rest of our lives I’m not going to.

I'll pay you.

Eh, fair enough. I’m just ready to get into a cleaner, more…equipped living situation.

Right? I'm not really into this dark and gloomy atmosphere.

You know, there’s a thing called a ladder. Or a step stool. But no, those don’t help you reach higher places at all.

I've never heard of them, tell me more.

You can do it if you want.

See, that's the thing - I don't want to.

I don’t think anyone’s in the mood to clean. 

I wish we had a maid.