FULL NAME . vivian marie costello . NICKNAMES . vi , viv , vivi ( by close friends & siblings ) . AGE . twenty-seven . DATE OF BIRTH . october 11th . TITLE . the saccharine . INFP . the mediator . MORAL ALIGNMENT . chaotic good . 3w2 . the enchanter . OCCUPATION . first year orthopedic surgery resident . MUSIC . after love - anyma , delilah montagu . PINTEREST. ಇ
CHAPTER ONE : FOUNDATION .
SHE NEVER KNEW HER MOTHER’S NAME. or her father’s face . she’d never known that her mother had a beautiful singing voice or that her father was a natural athlete . she only knew that they were sixteen when she was born , and that teenagers didn’t make good parents . vivian only learned so much when she was thirteen , though she’d known for quite some time that she didn’t quite look like she fit in her family . children , after all , could be cruel , and they never hesitated to point it out after her parents came around . not that she ever minded . in fact , when she ultimately asked her parents , it was out of curiosity more than anything else .
it wasn’t like she was going to complain , either . she was adopted when she was an infant . . . and this life was all she’d ever known . it was a good one , too . they lived in lincoln city in a darling blue house with a literal white picket fence . she shared a bathroom with her sister , but never had to share her room . she got new school supplies every year and new school clothes every august and january . the big trees in the front yard changed with the seasons , and the costellos were keen on decorating for every holiday . there were three costello kids : vivian , xavier , and lydia . . . the youngest of the three being the only biological child . the baby . the favorite . though all three of them were worthy of praise in one way or another . vivian was creative . . . and insanely smart . elijah was a powerhouse in the hockey field . and lydia ? well , lydia was perfect . perfect blonde curls . perfect blue eyes . perfect sweet disposition . the costellos were known around town for their perfect , perfect family .
only . . . things weren’t really all that perfect , were they ? no , that was just a mere image that reflected nothing of what went on behind that white picket fence . her parents’ marriage was strained at best , financial troubles putting a crushing weight on their shoulders . that pressure trickled down , and perfect became a requirement in the costello household . perfect grades . perfect attendance . first prize . first place . top of your class . top university . required . xavier’s natural talent and dazzling work ethic soon became inadequate , and he was sixteen when he tried steroids for the first time . vivian had to be at the very tip-top of her class and have ample volunteer experience and keep up with extracurriculars and , and , and . . . lydia’s beauty was everything . if her siblings had to be perfect , she was required to look it . the caveat always remained , though , that lydia got off the hook a lot easier than the other two . vivian was the oldest , afterall . elijah the only boy .
LOVE in the costello family wasn’t given . it was earned . . . you had to be flawless to deserve love .
CHAPTER TWO : WALLS
VIVIAN NEARLY DIED TRYING TO FIT THAT MOLD. perfect wasn’t easy , but it was attainable if she stretched herself thin . her parents’ love felt conditional , and there was a small , foreign voice in the back of her mind that was louder than ever : you never fit anyway . . . so you have to work twice as hard to be what they want you to be . you have to be worthy of it . so vivian learned to do it all . student council president . captain of the local swim team . member of the debate team . top of her class , valedictorian when she graduated . her parents wanted her to be a doctor or a lawyer . . . so she would be , nevermind her own love for music . in a perfect world , she thought she might join an orchestra . . . she’d get her degree in music theory and continue playing violin on the side . but this wasn’t a perfect world . the only perfection was found in her transcripts . . . a list of accomplishments that later got her a full ride through college . she’d study biology , pre - med .
vivian swam competitively all the way through . . . kept her grades up . . . kept a job . . . and she was burning the candle at both ends , all for a silent look of pride that was never quite put into words . all to be worthy of love . every action was a way of saying ‘ look at me . the daughter you chose . it was not a mistake , choosing me . ’
she was perfect .
on the surface .
inside , a storm brewed . anxiety churned in her stomach like white noise on a television , and when she was seventeen , everything changed . she knew she shouldn't have been there in the first place , so late at night , surrounded by a crowd of kids she hardly saw around , but her neighbor had a way with words that made her believe she deserved to live a little . just as quick as she took in her first breath of air , the ripples of hope disappeared after a splash of water .
[tw anxiety, ideations ] vivian was never the same after sneaking out that night . for the days to come , she continued to think her heart was failing . . . that her lungs were collapsing under the weight of the fear . it felt like she might’ve been dying following official news of chris’s disappearance , the little stability she clung onto in the face of her parent's demands was shaken to its core . all her brain could truly think was : if it ends now , at least i’ll get some rest . [tw end]
it wasn’t her first brush with anxiety , but it was the worst it had ever been . the only problem was . . . the costellos didn’t believe in therapy . or mental health . or anything other than pulling yourself up by your bootstraps , sucking it up , and powering through . so in high school , she couldn’t get help to process the grief of losing her neighbor . . . and in college , she had to unlearn her parents’ ideology . if she didn’t , she might’ve truly ended up in a dire condition . . .
CHAPTER THREE : PAVEMENT
SHE NEVER STOPPED TRYING TO BE PERFECT but she did learn to slow down . . . even if her parents seemed to be displeased by it all . she used her mcat score for leverage : near perfect . a world of options sat at her fingertips , and deferring for a year wouldn’t make those opportunities go away . her mother thought a gap year would be lazy . her father thought she was taking the easy way out . but her siblings were supportive . . . vivian knew that if she didn’t try to find herself now , she’d be dragged under by the current of her family’s expectations , drowned by the memory of her mistakes .
she soon left to california from oregon , where she would spend her gap year . she got a job , learned to drive , moved into an apartment all on her own . away from home , away from the reminders of where she went wrong . for the first time , she didn’t have to be anywhere , be anything , be anyone . . . and she found herself at a loss . reflecting on her own childhood , she couldn’t remember what she liked . what she liked to do . what music she was into . what her favorite food was . whether she preferred to watch movies or read books . whether she was actually a morning person or a night owl . truth be told , at twenty-three , she had no fucking clue who she was or what she wanted .
but that’s what your twenties are for , her brother told her .
so she spent the year falling in love with herself . she began playing the violin again , and she was good at it . she found that she preferred quiet cafes to los angeles’ nightlife . . . and that she enjoyed a casual date every now and then . she was a reader , not a movie goer . . . and while nighttime was exhilarating , there was nothing quite like the quiet of the world in the hour before the sun rose , the hour before the city came back to life , when the crickets were all you could really hear .
but she was on a ticking clock . . . and when a year was up , she had no choice but to enroll in medical school . all of the work she’d put into herself began to fade away , but at least her mother called more often . at least her father was excited to talk about her day . at least they didn’t avoid talking about her at family functions . she got a taste of what it was to be loved again . to have someone that’s proud of you . . . and so she began to spread herself thin .
now that she’s finished her last year of med school , she isn’t sure she loves it the way she’s supposed to . . . the candle is burning at both ends . . . faster now than ever considering chris’s disappearance is thrusted back into the limelight of her focus . she returns to oregon under the pretense of spending time with her family before starting her residency , but only she knows the truth . and only she knows whoever sent that message holds the key to her peace .
CHAPTER FOUR : DOORS
GROWING UP , SHE WAS CURIOUS. she asked questions with wide eyes and listened to answers attentively , committing them to memory . vivian always had a gentle way about her . not necessarily delicate , not necessarily nurturing . . . but gentle , like the fluttering of a butterfly’s wings or the warmth of a light summer breeze rustling tree leaves . gentle .
she has a way with people , something about that gentleness and curiosity that makes you feel comfortable opening up . she’d ask you a dozen questions about yourself and change the subject when you asked about her . it was always easy to be around her , but it was just as difficult to know her . she wasn’t as boisterous as her sister or as charming as her brother , but when she did speak , it was clever or kind or insightful . she could make you laugh , and the melodic sound of her own laugh in harmony with yours would leave a flush on anyone’s cheeks .
she’s always been nonstop . busy busy busy . she didn’t make time for herself . . . or for anyone else , for that matter . that was another reason why it was hard to know vivian costello , it seemed she never stopped moving . the only time she ever truly stood still was when hurt shot through her body , skittering down her spine and rendering her immobile . dark brown eyes would widen , and despite the small smile that would press at her lips , you could always see it in her gaze . it was easy to hurt her feelings ; she’d always been the most sensitive of the costello kids . it was a double edged sword : she knew how to interact with other peoples’ emotions , but she didn’t dare confront her own .
she is loyal to her people , sometimes to a fault . and sometimes to her own detriment . even in heartache , she would remain loyal to people she loves . or loved , once .
there’s a tranquility about her , not necessarily one that she feels in herself , but one you can find from being around her . there’s something about the quiet that calms the storm inside . . . and she’s always been a great person to be quiet with . comfortable silence is something she knows all too well , and she doesn’t mind it .
she isn’t quick to anger , but when she does get angry , it’s dark and stormy . it’s silent anger , and it’s static . it might last a day or it might last a month . the quietness makes it unpredictable , and though there are times she has wanted to lash out . . . she’s only done so a handful of times . usually , she swallows the thunder and lets it run its course in the center of her chest . she handles it on her own .
she isn’t selfless , per say , but she does have a gentle way of loving . to be loved by vivian is to know softness and kindness . it’s being wrapped in a warm blanket when you fall asleep on the couch or waking up to your favorite mug already filled with coffee . she might not always say as much , but she knows how to show her love .
. · * vivian , above all else , is still trying to figure herself out .
CHAPTER FIVE : HOME
i will not be adding wanted connections because i don't want to make this any longer than it already is ( i.e, i'm lying , i don't have any connections written yet ) . but , i'd be happy to brainstorm together , fill in your wanted connections , or just simply go off of chemistry ! i also added a wanted plots section in vivian's pinterest board !
