The Scoonsalicious Report

The next few weeks were some of the best of your life. True to his word, Bucky was romancing the absolute shit out of you. It seemed like nearly every night, he was whisking you out for another romantic dinner, or to this hole-in-the-wall jazz club he found so he could finally take you dancing ("the proper way, not this humping-while-standing-up-thing you kids do nowadays"). He brought fresh flowers to both your suite and your office once a week like clockwork, and the sex-- well, there were some mornings you couldn't even walk properly. It was perfect. He was perfect.

Together, you existed in your own little bubble, a new level of happiness unlocked in both of you that neither one ever expected to achieve.

The day of Jade's move-in to the Tower arrived, and you would have completely forgotten all about it if Tony hadn't mentioned it to you when you passed him in the hall on your way to meet Bucky in the common room for lunch. The reminder didn't weigh you down like you had expected it to. While she was unpleasant, and you didn't expect to become chums with her anytime soon, that burning rage you'd felt for her when she'd flirted with Bucky had subsided. Knowing how he felt about you had worn your jealousy down to non-existent.

You entered the common room, spotting Bucky kneeling in front of the coffee table, his back to you, as he took the lunches he'd ordered for you out of their takeout carriers and arranging them on the surface.

Feeling playful, you decided to sneak up on him, covering his eyes with your hands when you finally reached him.

"You know I heard you coming a mile away, doll," he chuckled, reaching around to pull you into a kiss. "Could smell you, too."

"Oh, I--" You felt the heat rise to your cheeks as you sank next to him on the floor. Just thinking about Bucky was enough to get you aroused most days, but for it to be enough for him to smell--

"Relax, ya pervert; I meant your perfume," Bucky laughed, passing you a bottle of iced tea from the take out bag. You playfully swatted at him.

"You're awful," you admonished with a grin.

"Yet, you love me," he shot back, leaning in to give you a quick kiss.

"The world is full of mysteries," you teased. You started opening up the container of Gaeng Daeng Bucky had ordered from your favorite Thai place. The portions were so large, you'd only ever be able to eat half of it, but that was just fine; your super soldier boyfriend would make sure none of it went to waste.

"I do love that lilac perfume on you," Bucky mused as he dug into his own plate of Pad Krapow Moo Saap. "Mixes so nice with the scent of your pussy."

You choked on a bite of your curry as Bucky broke into a fit of laughter. Handing you your bottle of tea, Bucky gently rubbed your back as he tried to reel himself in. "I'm sorry, doll. Drink this. Don't go choking to death on me, now."

When you were finally able to get your breathing back under control, you shot him a look.

"What?" he said, face the picture of innocence as he held up his hands in surrender. "'s not my fault you have the prettiest pussy I've ever laid my tongue on."

For the sake of propriety, you wanted to be mad at, or at least a little annoyed by him. But, Lord, if his words didn't do things to you. So, instead, you grabbed him by the shirt collar and pulled him toward you in a bruising kiss. His hands quickly guided your body down, until you were lying on the floor and he was resting on top of you, your Thai food temporarily abandoned as you gave in to one another.

Bucky had just begun pawing at your clothes when you both froze at the sound of someone awkwardly clearing their throat in the doorway.

"Common Room's closed for maintenance. Come back later," Bucky called over his shoulder without even looking. You couldn't help but laugh as he resumed kissing you. The man had no shame and you were kinda into it.

"Buck." The single word, low and harsh from Steve left you both frozen in place. In unison, you picked your heads up and looked to the door. Standing in the archway were three individuals-- one looking at you with barely disguised amusement, one with undisguised rage, and one who was trying very hard not to look at you at all.

"I hope you're not fraternizing on company time, Pocket," Tony said with a grin. Surprisingly, he had warmed up to the idea of you and Bucky being together (especially after you had threatened to "take my talents somewhere where my personal life won't be scrutinized and judged." "You wouldn't!" he'd gasped. "I wouldn't want to," you'd replied. "Don't let that be my only remaining option." It had been an empty threat; you both knew it, but it had been enough to get him on board).

The same couldn't be said for the man who refused to look at you, though. Since you and Bucky had officially begun dating, Steve had been ignoring you like you had cooties and he was unvaccinated, and you couldn't, for the life of you, figure out why. You'd brought your concern up to Bucky one evening, sure he'd assuage your anxiety, but he just told you to give the other man time to sort himself, leaving you with more questions. Did Steve hate you now because he thought you'd stolen his best friend from him? Or were those ‘Stucky’ shippers on Tumblr onto something?

"Like you're one to talk, Boss," you sassed back to Tony as you and Bucky extricated yourselves from your compromising position and stood up. Brushing down your pants, you turned to Bucky. "Can't even begin to tell you how many girls I've walked in on this guy with in the office before Pep came into the picture. Scarred me for life."

Tony had a faux-sappy look on his face and let loose a couple of fake sniffles as he clutched his hands to his heart. "Office dalliances of her very own. My little girl is all grown up. There is nothing more for me to teach you, precious Padawan." His hands moved to wipe away at a fake tear.

"Tony," Steve warned with a raised brow.

Tony blanched, as though just remembering his purpose for being in the common room. "Oh, yeah. Um, very unprofessional, you two. I'm shocked. Just scandalized. This is a place of business, blah blah blah and all that. Anyway, you remember Jade Carthage, our newest Probationary Avenger."

Ah, the third individual who was glaring at you with unadulterated hatred in her eyes.

"Vixen, nice to see you again. Welcome to the team." Bucky extended his hand for Jade to shake, and you watched her gaze soften and melt under his as she took his hand.

"Such a pleasure to see you again, Sergeant Barnes," she cooed. When Bucky released her hand, she turned to you, a cold, wicked smile that cut like a knife across her face.

"I don't think we've met," she said, extending her hand to you. "I'm Jade Carthage, but please, call me 'Vixen.'"

"(Y/N) (Y/L/N)," you said, with a shrug, as if completely nonplussed that she claimed not to know you. “My friends call me ‘Pocket,’ but Ms. (Y/L/N) should suffice.'" You took her hand to shake it. "CTO of Stark Industries, head of Innovation and Technology for the Avengers’ Initiative. Bucky's girlfriend." Jade's grip around your hand tightened, her super soldier strength making it feel as though she were crushing your very bones, but you held on, not letting a single ounce of pain show on your face. You'd dealt with worse.

When you didn't back down, Jade let your hand go. You flexed your fingers, relishing in the return of blood flow to your appendages.

"Buck," Steve said, and you were kind of hoping for more than just a single syllable out of him this time, "we're putting Jade next door to you. Mind showing her where to go? We've already had her stuff moved in. Tony and I just need to finalize some paperwork with her and we'll have her back down."

Sensing your body tense up at Steve's request, Bucky placed a reassuring hand at the small of your back. "Well, I'm in Pocket's room most nights now, anyway." He looked down at you, offering a soft smile that you returned. "But since she's just across the hall, yeah. We can walk you down, Jade. That is," he added, his smile turning a little naughty, "if I can convince my girl here to take the afternoon off and indulge me with a bit of her time." His arm moved from your back up to around your shoulders, and he pulled you into him.

"Well," you hemmed, as though not already completely convinced that would be an absolutely wonderful idea, "I have to check with my boss first. Hey, Tony?" He pursed his lips at you, clearly not pleased that you wanted to slack off. "Can I take the afternoon off?" He opened his mouth, most likely to deny you, but you cut him off "Oh, wait-- that's right. I don't actually report to you anymore." You turned back to Bucky. "We're good to go, baby." You winked and blew Tony a kiss. You both knew you had so much unused vacation time stacked up, you could not show up to work for a year and you'd barely tap into it.

"Great," Bucky said with a smile. "We'll finish our lunch and you can meet us back here when you're done finalizing your paperwork, and we'll show you your new digs."

Steve nodded and grunted his consent, while Jade just glared at you.

"Perfect," said Tony with a clap of his hands. Before turning to leave, he looked back at you and Bucky with a conspiratorial nod. "Just make sure to finish off your lunch and not each other, got it? I'm not due to have this carpet shampooed for another couple of weeks, and they charge extra for dealing with bodily fluids."

"Oh, gross, Tony," you moaned, while they walked off, Tony laughing to himself.

Once they were gone and you and Bucky had settled back around the coffee table to eat your now cooling Thai, you leaned in and kissed him. "Thank you," you said when you'd pulled away.

"For what?" he asked, breath a little uneven from the kiss.

"For being amazing and handling that entire thing perfectly," you told him, putting a hand on his knee.

He smiled at you, his blue eyes like crystals. "I told you, sweetheart, gonna be the best goddamned boyfriend you ever had, and that means making sure I'm not putting myself in a situation with her" he nodded his head toward the now empty doorway, "that makes you uncomfortable. Besides, it was really immature of her to pretend she didn't know who you were. I'm not going to spend alone time with someone who disrespects my girl like that."

You brought your hand up to stroke his jaw. "Have I told you how much I fucking love you?"

"Yeah," said Bucky, smiling at you through a big bite of his food, "but you might have to repeat yourself a lot. I am over a hundred, you know. My hearing's not what it used to be."

*

You were leaning against a couch and mindlessly scrolling through your social media feed when Jade walked back into the common room about twenty minutes later.

"Where's Sergeant Barnes?" she asked by way of greeting.

"Bathroom," you said, slipping your phone into your pocket. "Should be back in a minute."

Jade sighed and walked closer to you, her stiletto heels sending her towering above your head. "You know, you really don't have to come with us," she drawled, as if offering you a way out was doing you some kind of favor. "I'm sure Bucky can show me to my room all by himself. There's no need for you to inconvenience yourself to babysit him. Unless, of course, you don't trust him around me." She smirked at you, emerald eyes hard and cutting.

You chuckled, moving away from the couch and standing up straight, though you couldn't hope to match her height. "It's no trouble at all," you replied, your tone sickeningly saccharine. "I'd hardly call it an inconvenience to take a nanosecond to point to your door while my boyfriend and I are already on our way back to my room to fuck."

"You're a real bitch, you know that?" Jade seethed at you. Well. That took you aback.

"Excuse me?" you countered. "I'm a bitch?"

"It wasn't enough for you to humiliate me in front of Stark and Rogers during my interview, but you had to go and make a play for Bucky once you knew I was interested in him," Jade scoffed. "That was a real mature stunt you pulled at dinner, by the way, storming off like a baby, hoping he'd follow you."

You stared at her, at a loss for words. She couldn't be serious; no one suffered this heavily from Main Character Syndrome. "Look," you said after staring at her for a moment, "you're free to think whatever you want, but Bucky and I--"

"You and I what, Sweets?" Bucky returned from the bathroom, wrapping his arms around your waist and pressing his lips to your temple. "Hey, Vixen; ready to see your new home away from home?"

Jade battered her lashes up at him. "I can't wait, Sergeant," she purred at him.

"Uh, Bucky's just fine," he said, a slight blush creeping up the side of his neck. You couldn't help but wonder what that was all about. No, you reminded yourself. You two were in a good place. It wouldn't do you any good working yourself up over something that was most likely nothing. Instead, you took Bucky's hand.

"Ready to go, then?" you asked him. "The sooner we show Jade here her room, the sooner you and I can take advantage of my impromptu half day."

It was a tense trip from the common room down to your floor, though Bucky was doing his best to keep up a casual and friendly conversation.

Exiting the elevator onto your floor, Jade said: "Sorry if this is overstepping but, they kept you at the facility in Siberia, didn't they?" You froze in your steps, immediately squeezing Bucky's hand as you felt his entire body go rigid alongside you.

"Jade," you said, your voice almost pleading, "he doesn't really like to talk--"

"Yes," said Bucky, stiffly, as though his voice was coming on autopilot. "Yes, they did."

"They kept me there for a little while in the early 2000s," she said. "I wonder if our time there ever overlapped."

Bucky coughed into his hand. "I, uh... I wouldn't really be able to tell you. I was on cryo most of the time."

Jade gave a soft laugh. "Nu, dazhe ne nakhodyas' na l'du, etogo mesta bylo dostatochno, chtoby zastavit' menya nenavidet' kholod do kontsa moyey grebanoy zhizni." Well, even without being on ice, that place was enough to make me hate the cold for the rest of my fucking life.

Bucky's barked a short but genuine laugh, startling you. "Kholodneye, chem ved'minskaya sis'ka, ya prav?" Colder than a witch's tit, am I right?

"Vo vsyakom sluchaye, kholodneye, chem moi sis'ki." She said to him with a wink. Colder than my tits, anyway.

Bucky threw his head back and laughed aloud at that, and Jade shot you a side smirk. You rolled your eyes.

"If you want to stand here all day and make jokes about tits, Bucky, I may as well go back to work." Your voice was annoyed as you made to extract your hand from his and move away, but Bucky's grip on you tightened.

"What? No! You are not going back to work, Doll," he said as he pulled you into him, letting his arms envelop you. "Vix, your door's right over there," he pointed down the hall, "and please feel free to let us know if you need anything. But for now, if you'll excuse us," without warning, he picked you up and threw you over his shoulder like a goddamn caveman, "I have to fix it so work's the last thing on this one's mind." With a grin, he carried your shrieking self down the hall and into your room.

*

"Sorry to take you away from your tit-ilating conversation, Barnes," you giggled as he carried you inside and deposited you on your sofa. He draped his massive frame over you, peppering kisses along your jaw bone.

"Mm, someone's got jokes," he hummed as he began working open the buttons of your silk blouse. "Only one pair of tits I'm interested in, and they are right..." he undid the final button, exposing your lace bra to his hungry gaze, "here. Hello, ladies." He brought his mouth to the curve of your breasts, planting open-mouthed kisses on your heated skin. "I missed them."

You reached up to card your hands through his hair while he continued his loving attention. "Pretty sure you saw them both this morning, Buck," you laughed.

“But that was hours ago, sweetheart.” Bucky ran his tongue lazily down the valley between your breasts, taking his time to lap and suck at the flesh, his stubble tickling at your skin. "Remember the first time I saw these beauties. You had your tac-suit down around your waist, were wearing that purple bra. God, I love that bra. Couldn't get them outta my head for days after that."

"Ugh." You threw your head back against the couch pillow with a laugh. "That was right after you asked me if I slept with Steve in Latvia." You felt Bucky hesitate in his ministrations. The pause was brief, barely noticeable, but you were so attuned to each other by this point in your relationship it may as well have been a neon sign blazing at you. "Hey," you said, putting a hand on his cheek and turning him to face you, "what's up?" He avoided your gaze. "Buck," you said, more forcefully, "talk to me."

Bucky sighed and rested his head on the swell of your breasts. "'s nothing," he murmured. "Just lemme love on you like you deserve, okay?" He started running the finger of his metallic hand in circles around the clothed nipple of your right breast, the bud tightening and hardening beneath his touch.

"Stop trying to distract me, Barnes," you admonished, swatting gently at his hand. "Tell me what's going on in that pretty head of yours."

Bucky flicked his eyes up to yours, the sparkling blue reflecting back an emotion you'd never seen in them before: fear.

"Hey," you said, your voice turning serious as you sat up, taking his hands in yours as you positioned yourself to face him on the couch, "now you're freaking me out. Honesty, remember?"

Releasing one of your hands, Bucky ran his through his hair. He looked down at his feet. "I'm worried..." he mumbled, not meeting your gaze. "I'm worried if I tell you, you're gonna wanna leave me."

Your breath hitched with concern as you pulled your shoulders back, your mind wandering to all the possible worst-case scenarios of what he could possibly have to tell you that would make you want to leave him. Most of them involved Jade Carthage.

"It's Steve," Bucky said eventually, his voice so low you had to strain to hear him.

You released the breath you'd been holding. "Sweetheart," you said, climbing to your knees and pressing yourself against him, "why on Earth would you think anything having to do with Steve would make me want to leave you?"

Bucky turned to you, a look of complete devastation on his face. "Because he's in love with you, Pocket," he said, his voice so broken it hurt your heart. "He's been in love with you for years."

You couldn’t help it– you threw your head back and laughed. You weren't laughing at Bucky, or the pain he was obviously in, but the idea of Steve Rogers being in love with you, of all people, was absolutely hilarious.

"Steve is not in love with me, Buck. That's... that's ridiculous."

"'s not funny, doll," Bucky said, an adorable pout forming on his lips. "Right before I started going on missions, I told him-- I told him I thought I was fallin' for you. He told me he understood, because he'd fallen for you ages ago, but he was pretty sure he'd lost any chance he had with you after Berlin."

A memory hit you then, of the words Bucky had spoken to you that night at Gino's, when he was drunk on Asgardian liquor. "Don'tcha dare tell Stevie, though, doll," he'd said, "'cause he'd be real put out if he found out I was your fav'rite. Don't want 'im feelin' bad, but 'm not sorry. 'S not my fault, either. He had ages and he didn't do nuthin'. That's on 'im. Not on me, not on you. On 'im." And your argument in the elevator the night you'd finally gotten together: "Promise me: no matter how angry you are with me, don't sleep with Steve. You wanna fuck someone else to piss me off? ... I'll hate it, but if it's Steve, it'll fucking kill me."

You sat back on your heels. "Well, shit," you murmured, completely taken aback in shock.

"I won't get in the way of it," Bucky's voice was small, and when your eyes snapped to him, you saw his were full with unshed tears.

"Whoa, whoa, whoa," you said, crawling onto him to straddle his lap and cupping his face with your hands to ensure he was looking at you. "'Get in the way of it'? James Buchanan Barnes, do you honestly think I'm going to break up with you so I can go run off and be with Steve fucking Rogers?"

Bucky rolled his eyes and scoffed at you. "Why not? He's a God damned legend, for fucks’ sake! The kind of man you deserve. You don't think I know that you're too good for me? That it's just a matter of time before you realize I'm not worth it? I’m just an executioner with all his screws loose. You and Steve make more sense than you and I ever would."

You put a hand to your chest, his words causing your heart physical pain. He had made so much progress, but to know that he still held so much self-doubt as to think that he didn't deserve you? "Bucky," you began, tears coming to your eyes as you choked out the words, "I don't want Steve. I want you. I love you. You are everything to me."

"I don't deserve you, doll. I keep waiting for you to realize I'm no good for you and--"

You put your fingers to his lips, cutting him off before he could finish. "I decide what I deserve, Buck," you told him. "I decide what's good for me, and it breaks my fucking heart that you think you're not it, that you've been carrying this around inside all this time, on your own. You are the only man I have ever loved, the only man I ever want to love. How can I make you see that?"

Bucky's arms wrapped around you and he pulled you close, tucking his head into the crook of your neck. You hugged him to you, rubbing your fingers along the back of his head.

"I do see it, sweetheart," he murmured into your skin, "in my heart, I know it. I just... I'm just so fucked up I can't always make my head believe it."

"Baby, have you talked to Dr. Raynor about this?" you asked. You knew Bucky's relationship with his court-appointed therapist was... rocky, at best, but she had done a lot of good for him in the time they'd been working together.

Bucky shook his head. "She, uh, she doesn't know about you," he admitted, embarrassed.

"Oh," you whispered. You were surprised to find that the admission hurt you. Even before becoming his girlfriend, you'd still been Bucky's best friend, and he'd never thought to mention you to his therapist?

"Hey, it's not like that," Bucky began, having read correctly into your silence. "You know everything I talk about with the doc goes in my court record, yeah? I-I couldn't stand the idea of other people reading it, reading about you, how I felt about you. Because, what if someone used it against you one day? Or came at you to hurt me? I’d never forgive myself. So I kept quiet about you. I'm sorry."

"Oh, Buck." You brushed your lips to the top of his head. "That's not something you need to be sorry for, I promise, but, baby, I'm worried about you. It scares me that you still think so little of yourself that you don't think you deserve to be loved when you deserve everything good. Promise me you'll talk to Dr. Raynor about it, please? For me?"

Bucky raised his head from your neck and rested his forehead against yours. "Yeah," he conceded, letting out a breath. "I promise. I'll talk to Raynor."

You kissed his forehead. "Thank you." You moved down to kiss his eyes. "Thank you." His nose. "Thank you." You brought your lips to his, running your tongue gently across the seam of his lips until he parted them for you, deepening the kiss.

"'m sorry I ruined our afternoon, darlin'," Bucky murmured against your lips, his voice heavy with regret. "Shouldn’t have brought it up like that." His fingers traced soft patterns along the smooth skin of your exposed sides.

"Hey, nothing's ruined," you told him. "I'm just glad you finally said something. I hate the idea of you dealing with things alone, when you don't have to." You rubbed your nose against his before trying to lighten the mood a little. "So Captain America's really in love with me, huh?" you teased.

"Pocket," Bucky growled, nipping at the soft skin at the base of your neck.

"What?" Your voice was the epitome of innocence. "It's very flattering. Going to do wonders for my ego, having two Avengers in love with me."

"I've created a monster," Bucky moaned with a laugh. "I should have never told you."

You shrugged your shoulders. "Too late now; cat's outta the bag. No offense to Cap, though-- I'm only in love with one Avenger, so his feelings are irrelevant."

Bucky gave you a teasing smirk. "That so?"

You nodded, a mischievous grin sweeping across your face. "That's right. Think Thor would ever give me a second look?"

"Oh, you've got jokes, huh?" Bucky's fingers moved from gently caressing the skin of your sides to a full on onslaught of tickling.

"Barnes," you cried through your laughter as you struggled to get away from him, "you knock that off this instant!" Bucky just held you closer to him, his fingers dancing along your skin until you were writhing in his grasp.

"You gonna take it back?" he asked, grinning as you struggled.

"Yes, yes! I take it back," you managed to get out. Bucky ceased his assault and brought his hands to rest on your hips while you caught your breath. "You do not play fair, Barnes," you chastised once you could get a full sentence out again.

Bucky's blue eyes twinkled with laughter, the sight of it such a contrast to his earlier dismay that it made your heart soar. You'd give your life in this very moment if it meant that look would never leave his eyes (though, you were pretty sure that, if you died, he’d never laugh again). "You fired the first shot, doll," he said, pressing a kiss to your nose. "Though by this point, shouldn't find it that surprising."

"I love you," you said, all traces of levity suddenly leaving your expression.

He cocked his head, eyes questioning as he took in your sudden change in demeanor. "What brought that on?"

You shrugged, your silk shirt falling back slightly off your shoulders. "Just want you to know it," you told him. "Really, really know it. Trying to be serious, for once in my fucking life." Bucky chuffed, but you went on: "I don't ever want you to doubt it, or wonder if it's real, if you deserve it. I love you. With everything I have. Everything I am." You bit your lip, and though you'd told him countless times now that you loved him, something about this particular declaration left you feeling self-conscious.

Bucky reached a hand up and brushed a strand of hair that had fallen into your face behind your ear. "Sometimes," he said, voice low and husky, "I think I dreamed you up, that you're just a figment of my imagination. I'm terrified I'm going to wake up in some Hydra base, and the last year and a half's been a dream my broken mind invented to keep me from losing my shit, because how could someone so perfect possibly be real?"

Your breath hitched as he traced his index and middle finger of his human hand along your jawline and down your neck, across your collarbone, sending you into a full-body shiver.

"I promise, it's real, Buck," you whispered. "Tell me: Does this..." you rolled your hips to press your heated core against the semi-hard length of him "feel like a dream to you?"

The rakish, smug smirk that Bucky unleashed on you then was seduction personified. "That always feels like a fucking dream, sweetheart," he drawled, pushing his own hips up against you and stealing a soft gasp from your lips. He began pressing soft kisses to your neck and chest.

"Weren't we supposed to spend this afternoon fucking?" you breathed. Bucky huffed a laugh and began nipping tiny marks into your neck.

"That was the implied, yet unspecified arrangement, yup."

"Then why are we still wearing so many fucking clothes?"

Instead of a response, you felt Bucky's hands reach up under your ass, lifting you up as he stood. You wrapped your legs around his waist and let him carry you to your bed. Letting you down with the utmost gentleness, he slid your shirt all the way off your arms before he nestled himself beside you, lips never leaving your skin.

Your hands made their way under the fabric of his tight tee, fingers running along the lines of the taut muscles of his chest. Gently scratching your nails down his skin, you elicited a low moan from Bucky's lips.

"Fuck, doll," he murmured into your lips, "do that again." You did, only slightly harder this time around, and Bucky moaned even louder.

You reached for the hem of his shirt and tugged it, needing him to sit up so you could pull it over his head. Emboldened now, you took his hands and placed them on the button of your waistband.

"Too many clothes, Barnes," you warned him. Bucky didn't need to be told again before he started unbuttoning your pants, helping you pull them down and off. He made to reach for your covered heat, but you gently pushed his hand away. "Not yet," you told him before bringing your lips to kiss him again.

While your tongues gently swept across one another, you reached down and began unbuckling his belt and unzipping his fly. Once that was done, you broke the kiss and crawled down the bed, Bucky trying to chase your lips.

"Lie back," you ordered, eyes wicked. When he complied, you reached for his waistband, pulling his pants and boxer briefs down and off his muscled legs. His raging erection sprang free from the confines of its cloth prison. You pushed his legs apart as you positioned yourself between them on your knees.

"Well, isn't this a pretty sight?" you hummed, brushing your hair back from your face. Leaning down, you licked a long, slow stripe along the underside of his cock, letting your tongue twirl around the aching red tip that was already dripping with pre-cum.

"Fuck, Pocket," Bucky moaned. You felt his hands reach for your hair, but you pulled back.

"Nuh-huh, Sergeant," you admonished with a wagging finger. "No touching. You'll get your turn." Three things happened at once in conjunction with your words: first, you noticed Bucky's pupils dilate with lust; second, a blush began to spread up his neck; and third, and perhaps most revealing of all, his cock twitched beneath your hand.

"Well, well, well," you mused, realization suddenly dawning on you, "it seems like somebody has a Sergeant kink. Good to know."

Bucky chuffed and put his vibranium arm behind his head, propping himself up so he could watch you, and rested his flesh arm across his abdomen. Bless him; you knew he'd try to keep his hands to himself, but would ultimately end up failing. "I don't know what you're talking 'bout, sweets."

You just smiled at him before returning to the task at hand, you proceeded to devour his cock as though it were your last meal, bringing him deep into your throat and hollowing out your cheeks as you sucked before pulling back off.

"So fucking heavy, Sarge," you murmured as you rolled his balls in your hands. "Bet you're getting real close, huh?" You looked up to see Bucky's eyes screwed shut as he nodded, his human hand now fisting the sheet next to him as a dark red flush spread across his cheeks. "Hey," you said, tapping him on the thigh, "eyes on me, soldier."

When his beautiful blue orbs had returned to yours, you smiled at him, then proceeded to move from your position, crawling yourself up until you were straddling him. Moving the gusset of your panties to the side, you slowly eased yourself down on him, relishing in the stretch until you were fully seated, your clit rubbing against his public bone as you leaned forward.

"Jesus," Bucky groaned when you began moving yourself up and down on his length, riding him at a slow, steady pace. "You're so fucking perfect, doll. I love you. Love you so fucking much."

With a smile you leaned back, letting your spine arch as you moved. Without warning, you felt Bucky sit up to meet you. You knew he couldn't keep his hands to himself.

"Think you can throw these in my face and expect me to keep my hands off?" he asked with a grin, pulling the cups of your lace bra down to expose your breasts. He brought his mouth to your nipple, teasing and sucking at the supple flesh as his hands found your waist. He began fucking up into you, the sensation combined with his attention to your breasts building your high.

"Oh, God. Right there, Buck," you moaned when his cock hit the right spot inside of you. "Just like that; don't stop!" You moved your hands to his back, fingernails leaving long, red marks in his skin. 

"Fuck," he growled. He increased the pace and intensity of his thrusting, working himself in and out of you like a piston. "God, you feel so fucking good. So tight. I wanna stay inside you for the rest of my damned life."

"I'd let you," you gasped, your thoughts becoming hazy as the tension inside you continued to build. "Always want you inside me."

Bucky's metal hand left your hip and made its way to your clit. The sudden, cold sensation as he began rubbing tight circles across the sensitive bundle of nerves sent you over the edge, and soon you were coming undone. You could feel your inner walls clenching around Bucky's cock, squeezing and begging it for his own release.

"Fuck, you're gripping me so tight. I'm gonna--" With a guttural moan that was practically a howl, Bucky reached his own peak, sending rope after rope of cum into your waiting channel. You draped your body across him in your spent state, resting your head on his shoulder as he collapsed back onto the bed.

"Was that real enough for you?" you asked him with a smirk as you worked to catch your breath. Bucky hummed, working both hands along the line of your spine.

"Mmm, I dunno, sweets. Felt like the best kinda dream to me." You nipped playfully at his jaw. "Thank you for being so good to me."

"My pleasure," you giggled, "truly."

"My girl and her jokes," he laughed, planting a kiss to the top of your head. "How 'bout I run us a bath, get you all cleaned up?"

You turned your head to look up at him, batting your lashes. "Bubbles, too?" you asked sweetly.

Bucky rolled his eyes. "Fine, bubbles, too." You tried to suppress your snort; though he would never admit it out loud, you knew Bucky secretly loved bubble baths, possibly more than you did. A simple indulgence of the comfort he'd so long been denied.

While he was in the bathroom, running the water, his phone buzzed from the pocket of his discarded jeans.

"Baby, you got a text message," you called.

"Can you check it for me, doll?" he called back. "Got bubbles on my hands."

You laughed to yourself as you crawled to the edge of the bed, picking his jeans up from the floor and searching the pockets for his phone. You stole a quick glance at the screen.

"It's Steve," you told him as you walked his phone back to him in the bathroom. You held it out to him, but he had his hand under the tap, checking the temperature of the water.

"What's he want?" Bucky asked. You didn't know; you hadn't wanted to invade his privacy by looking at his messages, and now his phone had locked itself. "Can you read it to me? Passcode's your birthday."

You held the phone to your chest, cheeks heating with affection. "Bucky Barnes," you said softly. "That..." You had trouble putting the emotions into words. First, that he trusted you with his passcode, and second, that he'd chosen your birthday.

He turned from the tub to look at you, shit-eating grin on his face. "What?"

"That is incredibly fucking sweet, thank you." You entered the numbers into the phone and checked the message from Steve.

"Oh," you pouted, the sweetness in your chest deflating somewhat. "Steve wants you to take point on Jade's training." You stuck out your tongue. "Ew."

Bucky laughed, running a wet hand through his hair, causing it to stick up adorably in all directions. "Tell him I'll think about it and let him know," he said. "I need to discuss it with my girl first."

You smiled as you thumbed the reply back to Steve. "Thank you, Buck."

"Of course, doll." He beckoned you over. "Now come here, time to get you all cleaned up."

"Aw, but Buck," you whined as you walked over, unclasping your bra and stepping out of your panties, "I thought you liked me dirty."

Bucky paused in his removal of his boxer briefs. "You keep that kind of talk up, I have half a mind to keep you dirty."

You tapped his chest as you stepped into the blissfully warm water of the sunken tub. "Promises, promises." He quickly followed you, and you soon settled, him with his back against the wall of the tub, and you against his chest. "57038," you said to him, once you both were submerged in bubbles.

"What now?" he asked in surprise.

"My phone," you told him. "The passcode's 57038. I want you to have it."

He leaned down to kiss the side of your neck. "Thank you, sweets, but you didn't have to tell me just because I told you mine." He paused, thinking for a moment. "Why does that number sound so familiar?"

You chuckled and turned to pull on the chain that held his dog tags around his neck. Holding it out in front of him, you pointed to the last five digits of his military service number. You watched him swallow thickly as he made the realization.

"You..." he paused to clear his throat, "you use my numbers for your passcode?" You shrugged your shoulders.

"Is that too much?" you asked hesitantly, feeling suddenly shy.

"No! God, no!" Bucky wrapped his arms around you and buried his face into the crook of your shoulder. "I honestly don't know how you're even real," he murmured into your skin. "Keep thinking I'll close my eyes and you'll disappear." Reaching around, you ran your fingers through his hair.

"I'm real," you promised him, leaning back into his chest, "I'm real, this is real. And I'm not going anywhere."

He nuzzled into you, as if he could burrow into your skin in order to be closer to you. "I know I said I'd get you all cleaned up but, fuck, doll, you keep saying stuff like that..."

You wiggled around in his arms until you were facing him, legs wrapped back around his waist and arms draped around his neck; your favorite place to be. "Tub sex?" you asked, voice full of hope and excitement.

Bucky threw his head back and laughed before coming back down to kiss you. "Tub sex," he agreed with a smile.

The silence in your room felt deafening as you closed the door behind Bucky. For the very first time in your friendship, it felt awkward having him in your space, and you could tell he felt it, too. You crossed over to your sitting area and sat in one of your arm chairs, curling up into yourself. Bucky sat in the chair opposite you, leaning his elbows on his thighs to support his weight. The two of you just stared into space for a long moment, avoiding the other's gaze.

"You wanted to talk," you said eventually, "so talk."

Bucky looked up to meet your eyes, and you could see the sadness and defeat in them. "I'm sorry, Pocket. You're right, I've been an ass all night. I didn't do it with the intention to hurt you, but I hurt you anyway because I wasn't thinking about how my actions would affect you, and that's almost worse. I'm sorry."

You exhaled and looked away from him, afraid that if you held his gaze for too long, you wouldn't be able to stop the tears that would certainly come. "Listen, Buck," you said, swallowing hard, "if you're interested in pursuing something with Jade, that's... well, it's your life, you're free to date whoever you want. We never put any labels or rules on whatever this thing between us is, so I know I don't have any right to be jealous, but watching you flirt so openly with her right in front of me, like I didn't even exist? I can't begin to explain to you how worthless and small that made me feel. So, if you think you want to try for something with her, you have to let me know so I can try to move on, because I can't sit around and watch it happen. It's too painful."

When you looked back over at him, Bucky had gotten up and was now kneeling on the floor in front of you, practically beaming as he took you in.

"Why are you smiling like a lunatic?" you asked, an edge of concern in your voice. "You're creeping me out."

"Pocket," he murmured, cupping your face in his hands as he pressed a soft kiss to your forehead. For a moment, you considered pulling away, but the feel of his lips on your skin was such a comfort, you stayed still. "My absolute one and only doll, you've got it all wrong. I let you get the wrong idea and stew with it and I am so, so sorry."

You did pull away at that. "What are you talking about? How do I have the wrong idea?"

Bucky leaned back until he was resting on his heels. "I am interested in Jade, that's true." He took your hands in his as you felt your heart drop into your stomach. "But not in the way you think." He brought your hands to his lips and began placing kisses across your knuckles. "Doll, there's only been one girl I've been interested in pursuing something with in the last seventy-five years, and I'm sitting across from her right now."

You shook your head, sure you had misheard him. "I don't understand."

He chuckled and looked up at you through his lashes, the sight so beautiful, your breath caught in your chest. "Pocket, I have been crazy about you since the moment you made that god-awful 'unarmed' joke. At first I thought a girl as pretty as you, as smart as you, as good as you, you'd never give a guy like me, even without my history, a second look, and I'd be content to just watch you from the sidelines, you know? Watch you be beautiful and bright and I'd be happy my world was a better place just because you were in it.

"But you went outta your way to be nice to me. You talked Tolkien with me, you wanted to spend time with me, you wanted to be my friend, and I thought 'This is already more than you deserve, it's more than enough.' Then, when I had my nightmare, you didn't run away. You stayed. You stayed, and you understood, you let me hold you, and I-I was a goner for you. And that night...," he groaned at the memory, "God, that night you kissed me back, and you let me touch you, in all the ways I dreamed of touching you, all the ways I'd imagined touching you while I fucked my fist for practically a year, and I knew I wasn't going to be able to give you up after that.

"You'd told me about your past, how you were scared of relationships but, sweetheart, I was so greedy, I'd take any part of you you were willing to give me, your friendship, your body, even if it wasn't ever gonna be your heart. I'd take any crumb you offered me, and I'd be grateful for it."

You blinked your eyes repeatedly, dazed by his confession and unable to articulate words. Bucky's face fell as your silence stretched on.

"You don't feel the same way," he said, voice low as he stood up. "I'm sorry-- I-I shouldn't have dumped all of that on you. I'll go--." He turned and made steps toward your door, but you jumped up, reaching out to grab his arm.

"Bucky, wait," you turned him back to face you and brought your lips crashing to his with such intensity that he stumbled backwards a few steps before wrapping his arms around you to kiss you back.

"I love you," you gasped when you broke apart for air, breathing out a laugh when his eyes widened comically in shock. "I'm so fucking in love with you that it terrifies me, because it's an entirely brand new experience and I don't know how to do it. I'm so worried that I'm going to fuck it up and scare you away, or that you're gonna realize I'm not worth it and I don't even know how to live without you anymore."

Bucky held your face between his hands. "Are you serious right now?" he asked, eyes searching yours for any trace of deception. "You're not fucking with me?"

You shook your head emphatically, bringing your hands up to cover his. "No, no, I'm completely serious. I love you, James Buchanan Barnes." You laughed; the more you said the words, the more you realized how entirely true they were. "I love you and I've been so insanely jealous all night because I thought you were interested in her."

Bucky looked down at you with the brightest smile, like the sun shining after a storm, before pulling you toward him so he could kiss you again. You hadn't even realized you'd started to cry until, after Bucky had pulled away, he was brushing the tears from your cheeks.

"I love you, Pocket," he whispered as he began peppering kisses across your face. "I love you and I'm so sorry for everything I did tonight that would make you doubt that you're the most important person in my life and the best thing to ever happen to me."

The reminder of his earlier actions drew you out of the emotional haze his declaration had put you in. "Wait," you said, pulling back and putting some distance between the two of you, "if you've been in love with me this whole time, how come you've been weird about Jade ever since you saw her profile in those folders Tony gave us?" Bucky ran a hand down his face and sighed. Taking your hand, he led you back to the armchair you'd previously vacated and sat, pulling you down to sit on his lap and wrapping his arms around you.

"I told you that I am interested in Jade," he began, but when he felt you tense beneath him, he quickly continued, "but I'm not interested in dating her, or sleeping with her. You're the only girl who's got my attention in those departments." He paused to nuzzle at the junction of your neck and shoulder and you took the opportunity to run your fingers through his hair.

"Go on," you gently urged him.

"I'm interested in getting to know Jade, in talking to her, because she's... well, she's like me, you know? She's got the serum, and I don't know anyone else who's got it that's still alive."

You put a finger on his chin, tilting his face up to meet yours. "But, Steve," you said, somewhat confused, "he's got the serum, too, and you talk to him all the time."

Bucky sighed and shook his head. "Steve's got Erskine's serum," he told you. "The one made by the U.S. Government. The one that they-- that Hydra-- used on me, it was similar, but not the same."

"It's the same one that was used on Jade," you said, understanding dawning on you.

Bucky nodded. "Not exact, but what's running through her veins evolved from what's runnin' through mine. And they never put her through cryo, she's never been wiped. She was conscious through everything they put her through, all the experiments, the tests... I was excited to think that there was someone I could talk to about it, who understood. Someone who could maybe help me fill in some of the blanks I still have. Answer the questions I've been too ashamed to ask Steve."

"Oh, Buck," you hummed, running your nails gently across his scalp, "Baby, why didn't you ever say anything?"

He arched into your touch. "Because you've already had to put up with enough of my shit," he said. "I didn't want to burden you with any more of it."

You stopped your scratching ministrations and looked at him. "Now listen here, Barnes," you began, your tone serious, "the last thing you could ever be to me is a burden. I have never met anyone who was funnier, kinder, braver, more selfless or caring than you. You're a fucking gift, Bucky. One that I am endlessly grateful for, everyday."

Bucky groaned. "Pocket, you can't just say things like that while you're sitting on my lap. I try to be a gentleman, but I've got my limits."

You laughed and leaned into him, resting your head against him. You picked up his right hand and began tracing his fingers with your own.

"If me talkin' to Jade makes you any kind of uncomfortable, doll, I promise I'll never speak to, or even look at, her again." He caught your eye and you could see the seriousness of his statement in them. You leaned in to press a chaste kiss to his lips.

"I'm never going to tell you who you can't be friends with, Buck," you told him with a sigh. "I admit that I don't love the idea of you spending one-on-one time with her alone or anything, but I'm also not going to stand in the way of you getting answers you need about your past. But you tell me the second she tries something," you warned. "Super soldier or not, she comes for my man, I'm gonna kick her fucking ass."

"You've got nothin' to worry about, darlin'. I told you, in seventy-five years, it's only been you. Seventy-five years more, it's still always only ever be you." His words made your heart swell in your chest and you leaned in to kiss him again. "Mm, but say that again," he told you.

"The part where I'm gonna kick her ass?" you asked with a smirk.

"No," he said, nipping at the sensitive skin at the pulse point on your neck, "the part where you called me your man."

You shifted so you could wrap your arms around his neck, toying with the soft hairs at the nape. You leaned in close so you could whisper in his ear: "You're my man, Bucky Barnes." A full shiver went through Bucky's body at your words and you relished in the effect you had over him. He ran his vibranium hand up under the back of your shirt, tracing gentle circles on the skin of your lower back.

"And you're always gonna be my girl, Pocket." His flesh hand came up to brush a strand of hair behind your ear, the motion, combined with his words, so tender your breath hitched.

Something seemed to shift in that moment, the air growing thick and heady between you, as if you were both just realizing the new depth of your relationship for the first time.

"Bucky," you breathed, voice barely a whisper, eyes pleading.

He nodded and, placing one hand at the small of your back and the other under your knees and scooping you up as he stood. With the utmost care, he laid you down on the mattress of your bed and rested his body over yours, careful not to put too much of his weight on top of you.

"This feels different," he said as brushed your hair away from your face.

"Good different or bad different?" you asked, bringing your hands up to cup his face, the stubble scratching your palms.

"The very best different." He leaned down, bringing his lips to yours. The kiss was unlike any you'd shared before-- sweeter, more languid, as though you'd been forced to rush every previous kiss and you were both finally allowed to take your time. Bucky tasted like smoked whiskey as his tongue made leisurely sweeps across your mouth, eliciting a moan from you when he sucked on your bottom lip.

You could feel your arousal pooling between your thighs as you kissed, Bucky's flesh hand roaming up the soft skin of your side. He shifted, pressing more of his weight against you, as if he were desperate to be closer, and you could feel the hard press of his erection against your thigh.

You rocked your hips up against his pelvis, drawing a guttural moan from Bucky's throat. He pulled back, drawing himself up on his haunches. His fingers found their way to the hem of your shirt, teasing the edges as he looked up at you, silently asking you for permission. You nodded, sitting up and raising your hands over your head so he could slide your shirt off. As soon as it was free of your arms, Bucky tossed it aside and brought his lips to your shoulder, kissing his way across your collarbone.

Reaching down, you grabbed the hem of his Henley, slowly rolling it up over his abdomen, placing soft kisses on the hard lines of muscles it revealed. Once you'd fully divested him of his shirt, you let your hands roam the broad expanse of his chest, your lips and tongue trailing open-mouthed kisses across the raised pink scars at his mangled shoulder.

"You don't have to," he said, subtly pulling his shoulder back.

"Shush." You pulled him closer, continuing to kiss his puckered flesh. "I love every inch of you, Bucky. You're beautiful."

He pulled away from you, blue eyes boring into yours like he couldn't believe what he was seeing in front of him.

"How are you even real?" he asked, bringing your lips to his once again, his kisses growing more desperate. "I swear to God, Pocket, 'm gonna take you out, date you so fuckin' hard. Be the best goddamned boyfriend you've ever had."

He wanted to be your boyfriend. Not long ago, those words might have terrified you, but now, with the emotions you'd finally both let yourselves express, they thrilled you.

"You gonna take me to brunch, Barnes?" you teased, nipping at his skin as you rolled your hips up into his, your words coming out in gasps between the mewls of pleasure he was drawing from you. "We goin' to the farmer's market? Fuck--- Spend weekends at bed-n-breakfasts in Vermont?"

Bucky growled as he ground his hips down into yours, the length of his erection pressing down against your clothed clit and making you moan. "Sweetheart, I'll do anything you want. You wanna ride around the city on one of those tandem bicycles?" A dragging of his hips that had you arching your back. "I'm here for it. You wanna share a bowl of spaghetti like those dogs in that movie? I'm your man."

"Baby, I would never make you get on a tandem bike," you gasped, faux scandalized at the suggestion. "A swan paddle boat, maybe, but never a tandem bike. I respect you too much for that."

Bucky laughed as he buried into the crook of your neck. "I'd do it for you, anyway."

"That's the most romantic thing anyone's ever said to me," you told him with a smile.

"Oh, baby," he moaned, licking a stripe along the side of your neck that had you shivering, "We gotta fix that. I'm gonna romance the absolute shit out of you." He moved his mouth, placing kisses down your collar bone, between the valley of your breasts, and down your stomach. You bit your lip as his hands reached the waistband of your pants, his eyes looking up to meet yours as he slowly, so agonizingly slowly, began unbuttoning them.

"Ms. (Y/L/N), Sgt. Barnes," FRIDAY's voice echoed across the room. Bucky groaned and dropped his head on your pelvis at the interruption. "Mr. Stark requests your immediate return to the common room."

It was your turn to groan now as you threw your head back onto the pillow. "How much trouble do you think we'll be in if we just ignore it?" you asked him, reaching down to card your fingers through his hair.

He chuckled as he leaned over to pick up your discarded shirts from the floor. "We don't go, he's libel to come barging in, and I don't know about you, but I'm not keen on Stark getting a load of my bare ass as I'm plowing balls-deep into his favorite little protégé," he said, winking at you as he pulled his Henley back over his head.

"Ew," you laughed, "everyone knows Parker's Tony's favorite little protégé these days. Thank you for that mental image."

Bucky shot you a sardonic look. "Arms, smartass," he said, indicating for you to lift your arms above your head so he could put your shirt back on you. "You got some mouth on you. I ever tell you how much I love it?"

*

Presentable once again, you left your room, Bucky taking your hand in his as you headed up to the common room and whispering all of the filthy things he was going to do to you when you both officially retired for the evening. By the time you entered the common room, you were leaning into him in a fit of flustered giggles.

"Good. Looks like you finally got it out of your systems," Tony said once you'd walked through the doors. "What the 'F' Was It?"

You and Bucky exchanged confused glances before looking back to Tony. Tony's eyes cast down to where your hands were entwined. "Looks like the 'fuck's have it!" he called out to the rest of the gathered group. "Everyone who bet "fight," pay up!"

"Boss, did ya'll seriously bet on whether we were fucking or fighting?" you asked, horrified, but still a little amused.

"That's why the game is called "What the 'F'?," Pocket," Tony said with a smirk and playfully exaggerated eye roll. "Try to keep up."

"Well," began Bucky with a smile, "technically, we didn't do either, so you should all be paying us."

"Nope," said Tony, "Cap had 'Firm up their Friendship,' so I guess he's the winner."

"'Firm up their Friendship'?" you asked, raising an eyebrow in Steve's direction. The super soldier shrugged and averted his eyes, a slight blush creeping up his cheeks.

"It had to begin with an 'F,' otherwise it would not fit the parameters of the game," Thor offered helpfully. "It was very humorous."

"Alright, everyone, pay out to Cap," Tony said, reaching for his wallet.

"Not so fast," Natasha interrupted. "I believe you'll recall that I put money on 'frottage,' so if we could get confirmation on that, I'd appreciate it," she gave you both a knowing grin, and you instantly regretted confessing to her how turned on dry humping made you.

"Oh my God," you muttered, putting your face in your hand, now fully horrified.

Bucky looked down at you, face confused. "What the hell's 'frottage?'" he asked cautiously. You whispered the definition in his ear and his entire face turned a crimson red as he furiously rubbed the back of his neck.

"Ha! I knew it!" Nat shouted, raising a fist in the air. "Pay up, bitches!"

There was a chorus of groans as your friends all begrudgingly passed Natasha one-hundred dollar bills.

"...eight, nine, -- hey, who didn't pay up? There should be a thousand bucks here!" Nat looked around the room. "Where did Steve go? Dirty cheat owes me a hundred dollars!" Everyone looked around, but the Captain had vanished from the room. You felt Bucky heave a heavy sigh next to you, and when you turned up to look at him, you noticed the distraught expression on his face.

"What's up, Buck?" you asked, concerned. "Do you know where Steve went?"

He shook his head, the corners of his mouth turning back up as he looked down at you. "I'll tell you later," he promised before kissing the crown of your head.

"So, we're not hiding this anymore?" Sam asked as he walked over to the two of you. "Because I'm so tired of pretending we don't all know you two bumpin' uglies."

You rolled your eyes at Sam, but couldn't hide the smile that was creeping across your face. You wrapped your arms around Bucky's waist, drawing yourself closer to him. "What? You want us to make some kind of official royal proclamation?"

"I, for one, don't really give a shit," said Rhodey from across the room. "I only bet because Romanoff threatened me."

"Thank you for minding your own business at least, Rhodey," you offered, caught somewhere between grateful and insulted. Rolling your eyes at Sam, you turned to Tony. "So, what's so important that you called us back down here, Boss? We were a little... preoccupied."

"Ugh, Pocket, I don't need you to put a picture in my head, thank you," Tony said, waving his hands at you in disgust. "That's a whole new thing to unpack in Virtual Therapy: "How to handle the guy who was brainwashed into murdering your parents repeatedly violating the girl you've come to see as your baby sister."

"Oh my god, Tony," you muttered at the same time Bucky said "It's not violating if she's a willing participant, Stark." You elbowed Bucky gently in his side.

"Don't traumatize him, baby," you murmured. "He's fragile."

"Funny. Very funny," Tony deadpanned, arms crossed over his chest. "Anyway, getting back to very professional Avenger business, you'll notice Ms. Carthage and our SHIELD guests have left for the evening."

Huh. You'd forgotten they'd even been there to begin with, what with all the love declarations and frottage that had taken place with Bucky.

"Yeah, we see that," said Bucky, answering for both of you.

"Which means we have to decide, as a group, if we want to invite Ms. Carthage to join us on a probationary basis. We've already taken a preliminary vote, so we just need you two to cast your ballots. What's it going to be? Yay or Nay?" Tony looked to you first.

You thought back to the tour you'd given her earlier that day, and how unprofessional Jade had been. Even before she'd started her flirtations with Bucky, Jade Carthage had rubbed you the wrong way. You couldn't, in good conscience, agree to invite her onto your team, into your family.

"I vote 'nay,'" you told Tony.

He nodded. "Very well. Barnes? What say you?"

Bucky didn't even hesitate. "If my girl doesn't want her here, then neither do I. I vote 'nay.'"

You looked up at him, your eyes wide as saucers, and you were pretty sure they’d turned heart-shaped. Despite hoping Jade could give him the answers he'd been searching for, Bucky had voted against having her join The Avengers just because she made you uncomfortable.

"Hey," he said, tucking his thumb under your chin and tilting your head up, "I told you, you're the most important person in the world to me, and I want whatever is going to make you happy. If that means not having her around, then I don't want her around."

"Buck," you breathed, standing up on your toes to reach his lips, "I love you."

You did your best to ignore the cheers and goads from your friends as you kissed, and when you pulled apart a short moment later, both your cheeks were red with embarrassment.

"That was disgusting," Tony said, rolling his eyes in that bored Tony way of his. "Too bad it was for nothing. The 'yay's have it, seven to six. We'll be officially extending an invitation of probationary membership to Jade Carthage, AKA: Vixen, first thing tomorrow morning. Class dismissed."

The relief that had washed over you when Bucky had voted 'nay' alongside you evaporated when Tony read out the results. You mumbled half hearted goodnights to your teammates as they trickled out, off to their individual evening pursuits, until it was just you and Bucky left standing in the common room.

"I'm sorry, doll," he murmured softly as he ran his hands gently up and down your arms. "You'll let me know what I can do to help make the next few months with her as easy for you as possible, yeah? Anything you need."

You smiled at him, so grateful that he was being so understanding about this. You put your hands over his as they rested on your arms. "Just love me, okay, Buck?" you asked him. "Just love me and be honest with me; that's all I ask."

He took you in his arms, swaying you back and forth ever so slightly. "That's an easy promise, sweetheart." You felt him rest his chin on the crown of your head. "I give you my word."

You sat in your office, head bent over the latest budget requests from your lab staff. You tended to be pretty generous when it came to project funding, but this $15 million request for a proposed shrink ray had to be some sort of a joke. Did they want a lawsuit from Pym Technologies? A knock on your door drew your attention away from the submission in front of you.

"Come in," you called out, putting the shrink ray proposal in your rejection pile. Bucky entered your office, flashing you a seductive smile as he closed and locked the door behind him.

Leaning back in your desk chair, you let your eyes rove over his frame as he walked toward you. He'd obviously just come from the gym, his muscles glistening with a sheen of sweat and his t-shirt clinging to his sculpted chest. The sight of him made your heart race, and you couldn't help but feel a now familiar heat building between your legs. He looked absolutely gorgeous. "You're not my GrubHub order," you teased.

"Not your GrubHub," he said, coming around to sit on the edge of your desk, "but I bet I can fill you up just as good."

You both stared at each other for a beat before bursting into laughter. "Oh my God, Barnes," you groaned, standing up and wrapping your arms around his neck. "That was absolutely awful." You kissed him, relishing the feel of his laughter against your mouth. "I can't believe I willingly let you put your dick in me, jokes like that."

Bucky's laughter faded into a heated gaze as his hands traveled up your sides, sending shivers down your spine. "Well," he whispered huskily, his lips grazing against the shell of your ear, "I'm glad you let me, because all I can think about is doing it again."

"Then it's a very good thing you locked that door," you whispered back, trying to ignore the wetness his words sent straight to your panties.

His fingers traced the outline of your jaw, his feather-light touch igniting a trail of desire along your skin. The familiar weight of his presence grounded you, drawing you closer. Together, like this, it was as if you were the only two people in the world, as if no one else existed.

"I've been thinking about you all day," Bucky confessed, his voice laced with a mixture of longing and hunger. "Couldn't focus on anything else but getting my hands on you."

"I've been right here." You took a hand and palmed him through his sweats. He was already rock hard, ready for you.

"Tease," he moaned, slotting his lips over yours again.

Your breath hitched as he kissed you, a surge of electricity coursing through your veins. The heat between you intensified with each kiss, fueling the fire that burned deep within. The taste of him was addictive, and you wondered how you had spent over a year in his company without kissing him before now.

“Fuck,” he hissed, pulling back from you. “I don’t have a condom. I could go get one, come back…”

You shook your head, not wanting to delay another moment. You knew the serum made him immune to catching or passing on any STIs, and you were clean. “I’m on the pill, Bucky,” you said, bringing your lips to his again. “And I wanna feel you. So fucking bad.”

“Thank God for modern fucking medicine,” he grinned.

Bucky's hands roamed over your body, his touch leaving a trail of fire in its wake. He expertly unbuttoned your blouse without taking his mouth from yours, revealing the soft curve of your breasts. His lips trailed down your neck, nipping and sucking at the sensitive skin.

"You seem to have forgotten your bra, Pocket," he murmured before taking his mouth to your nipple, swirling his tongue around it and sucking gently. Your knees weakened at the sensation, and you gripped onto his shoulders for support.

"Mmm, Bucky," you moaned, arching your back as he switched his attention to your other breast, giving it the same lavish treatment. The wetness pooled between your thighs, leaving you aching for his touch.

He stepped back abruptly, his eyes dark with desire as he reached down to unbutton your skirt. "I've been dying to taste you," he murmured, his voice thick with need.

You eagerly stepped out of your skirt, revealing the black lace panties that barely covered your soaking slit. Bucky's gaze darkened further as he looked at you, hungrily taking in every inch of your exposed body.

"Fuck," he breathed, stepping closer to you "You wear these just for me?" You just smiled at him, biting your lower lip. You had worn them just for him, but he didn't need to know that. With one swift motion, he lifted you up and placed you on the edge of your desk. The cool wood felt delicious against your heated skin as Bucky hooked his fingers around the sides of your panties, pulling them down your legs and stuffing them into the pocket of his pants.

"Thief," you chastised, but he only smirked at you as he dropped to his knees in front of you, his warm breath fanning across your slick folds as he hooked your legs over his shoulders.

You grasped the edge of the desk, your heart pounding in anticipation as he leaned forward and dipped his tongue between your swollen lips. A moan escaped you at the first touch of his velvety tongue against your throbbing clit. "Holy shit, Buck," you groaned. "Just like that."

"I knew you'd be delicious," he moaned into you.

Bucky's skilled tongue worked its magic, flicking and swirling with an expertise that sent waves of pleasure radiating through your body. Your head fell back, exposing your neck as you surrendered yourself to the sensations he was evoking. Each lick and suck was like an electric shock to your core, building the tension coiling within you.

Your fingers tangled in his hair, urging him closer as he devoured you with an insatiable hunger. The intensity of his ministrations brought you to the edge faster than expected, the coil within you tightening with an urgency that demanded release. You whimpered, your moans growing louder with each pass of his tongue.

"Bucky," you panted, pulling on his hair to drag him up. "Bucky I need you. I need you right now." Your voice was desperate, your body craving the feel of his thickness inside you.

Bucky's eyes were filled with a predatory glint as he stood up, his lips glistening with the evidence of your arousal. He swiftly rid himself of his sweats, releasing his swollen, throbbing length that begged to be inside you. The air crackled with tension as he positioned himself between your thighs, his hands gripping your hips firmly.

"Tell me what you want, sweetheart," he growled, his voice rough with desire.

You locked eyes with him, the intensity of your connection sparking a fire within you. "I want you inside me," you gasped, your voice filled with a desperate need.

Without any further warning, Bucky plunged into you with a force that stole your breath. The sensation of being filled by him, stretched and taken to the brink of reason, sent shock waves coursing through every nerve ending in your body. You cried out in ecstasy, the sound mingling with his own groan of pleasure.

"Jesus Christ, Pocket," he moaned, "you're so fucking tight."

He set a punishing pace, driving into you with a raw need that matched your own. The sensation of him sliding in and out of you sent sparks of delight shooting through your veins. Your hands clawed at his back, urging him to move faster, harder.

Each stroke hit that sweet spot deep within you, igniting fireworks in your body. The desk creaked beneath the force of your movements, the sound echoing throughout the room.

"Fuck," Bucky grunted, his hips slapping against yours with a primal intensity, "turn around."

He pulled out of you and flipped you, bending you over the desk before thrusting back into you from behind. The new angle allowed him to hit you deeper than before, and you could feel the tip of him kiss your cervix.

The desk continued to shake as Bucky pounded into you, the raw power behind each thrust pushing you closer to the edge of release. Your breath came in ragged gasps, your moans filling the air as ecstasy rippled through your body.

Sweat dripped down both of your bodies, glistening in the dim light of the office. The urgency between you was palpable, a desperate hunger that consumed every inch of your being. You could feel the tension building within you, coiling tighter and tighter.

"I'm...I'm so close," you managed to pant out, your voice strained with need. "Don't stop, Bucky."

He groaned in response, his thrusts becoming more erratic, his hips slamming against yours with an almost brutal force. The sound of your bodies colliding filled the room, drowning out any other noise.

Bucky's gaze bore into yours as you turned to look at him, his eyes filled with a mixture of lust and adoration. His grip on your hips tightened even further, his fingers leaving imprints on your skin as he pistoned in and out of you. The sensations he stoked within you built to an unbearable peak, threatening to consume you both.

With one final powerful thrust, Bucky sent you hurtling over the edge, your orgasm crashing through you like a tidal wave. You cried out his name, your body convulsing as waves of bliss coursed through every fiber of your being. It was an explosion that left you breathless and trembling, your senses overwhelmed by the intensity of the moment.

Bucky followed suit, ropes of his spend spilling into you as he found his own release. He bent his body over yours, burying his face in the curve of your neck, his moans muffled against your skin as he rode out the aftershocks of his orgasm.

For a few moments, the only sound in the room was heavy breathing and the faint echo of your heartbeats pounding in your ears. Your bodies were entangled, sweaty and spent from the intense release that had just washed over you. Bucky's grip on your hips slowly loosened as he pulled out of you, his length slipping free with a wet sound.

With a shaky sigh, you turned around and immediately collapsed back onto the desk, your legs trembling from the sheer euphoria that had consumed you moments ago. Bucky stood there, his chest heaving as he tried to catch his breath. His eyes were filled with a mix of satisfaction and tenderness as he looked down at you.

He leaned down, pressing a soft kiss to your forehead before moving to stand in front of you. His fingers gently brushed against your cheek, wiping away a stray tear that had escaped during your climax. You reached up, intertwining your fingers with his and bringing them to your lips for a gentle kiss.

"Are you okay?" he asked, concern lacing his voice. "I didn't hurt you, did I? I went a little harder than I meant to."

You shook your head, a small smile tugging at the corners of your lips. "No, Bucky. That was... incredible. You didn't hurt me, you made me feel amazing." You paused, looking up into his eyes, filled with genuine affection. "You always make me feel amazing."

His gaze softened, and he brushed his thumb against your cheekbone. You moved to hop down from your desk, but your knees gave out, refusing to hold you.

"Hey, I've got you," Bucky said with a laugh as he steadied you, supporting you as though you weighed nothing. He began slowly buttoning your shirt back up, then slid your skirt back up your thighs.

"I think you ruined my legs," you giggled as he planted a kiss on your navel before tucking your shirt back into your skirt.

"Sorry 'bout that," he said with a smirk as he straightened up.

You let out a shaky laugh. "Yeah, I'm sure you feel really bad about it," you grinned.

He leaned in close to your ear. "Not even a little bit," he whispered, as though it was a conspiratorial secret. God, just his proximity and the sound of his voice sent a shiver down your spine.

"Looking to go for Round Two already, doll?" he asked you as he took in your physical response to him with a smug smile.

"I don't think my desk can take another go at the moment, or my legs, for that matter." You tried standing up again and were pleased to find that, though your knees were still weak, you were able to hold yourself upright. You glanced over to see Bucky watching you with a shit-eating grin. "You look a little too proud of yourself, you know."

"Tell me it's not fully deserved." He grinned at you like a mother fucking cat who had just found a saucer of cream. You rolled your eyes as you began picking up the avalanche of papers that had fallen from your desk to the floor. Bucky came around and bent over to help set your office back to rights.

Once everything was back in its proper place, you stood back to admire your work. No one would know that you'd been thoroughly railed here just a few minutes before. You watched as Bucky picked up the framed photo you kept of the two of you on your desk.

It was from your trip to the New York Botanical Gardens last winter. Bucky had confessed to you that, due to spending so much time on ice while under Hydra's control, he'd developed an intense hatred-- almost fear-- of cold weather. So, when a particularly brutal cold snap had him feeling exceptionally out of sorts, you'd taken him up to the Bronx to visit the Enid A. Haupt Conservatory, where you spent the day meandering through the paths of the hothouse, surrounded by humidity and tropical plants as though you were in the middle of the rainforest. In the photo, Bucky stood next to you with his arms wrapped around your shoulders, your hands hanging off of his forearm as he leaned into you and kissed your temple. Your face was scrunched up into a ridiculous smile.

"That was a great day," Bucky said, tracing the photo with a flesh finger. "I don't think I ever told you how much it meant to me, means to me, that you did that for me." His voice had dropped to something deeper, softer.

You felt something in your heart flutter at his words, the sensation new and a little frightening. The sensation made you nervous in a way you couldn't identify. "Buck," you said, swallowing thickly, "there's not much I wouldn't do for you. I hope you know that."

His crystal blue eyes bore into you as he looked at you, almost as though he was waiting for you to say something more. When you didn't, he let out a sigh and placed the photo back on your desk.

Looking back up at you, the intensity was gone from his gaze. "You hungry? I figure we must have burned enough calories to justify a big lunch." His cocky grin was back in place.

"Yeah, that sounds perfect," you said, linking your arm in his and patently ignoring the way the contact sent a swell of affection through your heart. "Let me pop into the bathroom to clean up, and then we're good to go."

*

"You're both so codependent," Nat said to the two of you one evening a few months later as you all sat gathered around in the common room after dinner. It was a rare occurrence where no one was away on a mission and everyone was Earth-side. The space was crowded, so naturally Bucky had offered you his lap, theoretically in order to open up some seating for everyone else. Aside from the two of you and Nat, there was Wanda and Vision, Steve and Sam, Clint, Thor, Tony and Pepper, Bruce, and Rhodey. Your perfectly imperfect found family. The only one who was missing was young Peter Parker, but it was a school night and Tony tried to make sure the kid had his priorities in order.

"No we're not," you and Bucky said in unison, which made everyone else either laugh or groan. You glanced up at him with a smile and then back to the others. "What can we say? We just really enjoy the benefits of our friendship."

Bucky let out a cough into his hand that sounded a lot like "Be cool, damn."

"How come you never volunteer to sit in my lap?" Steve asked with an exaggerated pout.

"Do you want me to get up, Star-Spangled Man?" you ribbed as you feigned moving out of Bucky's lap. "You can have him all to yourself." Bucky squeezed your waist in warning, holding you down against him. You knew that if you got up now, you'd be exposing everyone to the erection that had been rubbing against your backside all evening. Fortunately, Steve wasn't one to take such a joke very far.

"No, it's fine. I can tell when I've been replaced," he teased, though his smile didn't necessarily reach his eyes. You and Bucky weren't necessarily hiding the fact that you'd started having sex from everyone, but you sure as shit weren't shouting it from the rooftops. There would be far too many 'I told you so's or 'about damn time's for your liking, not to mention everyone asking 'what's the next step?,' so it was something you kept to yourselves. Besides, you both decided that the secret aspect of sneaking around made it so much fucking hotter.

"Good, you're all here," said Tony, breaking through the levity with a serious tone, "since we're all together for once, there's something we need to discuss."

All eyes turned to him. Usually, a serious Tony meant a global-threatening event, but things on the world-saving front had been fairly quiet recently, so you were all curious to see what he had to say.

"As you're no doubt well aware, because most of you aren't complete morons, there are more and more enhanced individuals coming out of the woodwork, and not all of them are identifying as friendlies. I know we've already got a great team here, but Fury thinks we could be better."

"Pretty strong opinion for a man who just sits around watching and talking," Clint offered from his position on the couch next to Nat where he was re-stringing one of his bows.

"Don't disagree, Barton," Tony continued, "but Fury's good graces and government approval are the reason we keep getting to do what we do. He wants us to expand."

"What, open up a West Coast Avengers second location?" Bruce asked with a laugh.

"He wants us to consider taking on some more members," Tony said. "Expand our capabilities. I was able to negotiate it down to one."

"Do we have a say in the matter, or has he already made the choice for us?" Natasha asked warily. Like you, the Avengers were the only real family she'd ever known, and like you, she was highly uncomfortable with the idea of allowing just anyone to join it.

"He's made some... suggestions," Tony said, holding up a stack of thick folders, "but the final decision is ours to make."

"Well, I say we stick with known quantities," Sam offered. "Like Tic-Tac. He proved himself in Berlin."

"Nah, Scott Lang's not a viable option," you interjected thoughtfully. "Maybe as a reserve or something, but not a full-blown member." At Sam's questioning look, you elaborated. "His daughter's young, and he doesn't have custody. He's not going to move across the country and leave her in San Francisco. Not for us, especially after being apart from her while he was in prison."

"Same's going to go for T'Challa," Nat agreed. "His priority is always going to be Wakanda, he won't give that up, nor should we expect him to."

"We could always invite my brother Loki to join us," said Thor with a grin. "He's quite skilled," he paused for a moment to think his statement through. "Though he is completely untrustworthy and could very well try to murder us all, so perhaps not. But what a humorous situation that would have made!" The eye rolls from around the room proved that, no, it would not have made a humorous situation at all.

"I wish Pietro were still here; he would be magnificent. A perfect addition," Wanda said wistfully, and you reached over to squeeze her hand. She'd done so much healing since her brother had died in the crossfire of the battle with Ultron, but you couldn't imagine the lingering pain losing a twin must keep her in. She gave you a grateful look as she returned your squeeze.

"Well, who else do we know that we'd actually trust enough to ask?" Rhodey posited. The ensuing silence spoke volumes.

"Natty, what about your sister?" you suggested. "You think Yelena would be interested? It wouldn't suck to have another trained Widow on the team. Plus, she makes me laugh, which, you know, absolutely crucial Avenger requirement."

Nat looked thoughtful. "I don't know if it would be her thing, but I could reach out; wouldn't hurt to ask. But I wouldn't get our hopes up; she's pretty dedicated to helping all the former Widows right now."

"Swell," said Tony with an eye roll, making a note on a piece of paper inside his folder. "That's one, maybe. But probably not."

"Well, what options did Fury send over?" Rhodey asked him.

Tony began handing out folders to everyone. Each page contained a brief bio of an enhanced individual Fury had vetted and thought might make a good addition to the team. He handed you a folder, then made to hand another to Bucky.

"I'll share with Pocket," he said.

"Of course you will," Tony said with a shake of his head. "You sharing your balls with her, too, Barnes?" You stuck your tongue out at him. "Nice, Pocket. The pinnacle of maturity," Tony muttered as he moved on toward Bruce.

"Not just your balls," you whispered into Bucky's ear, giving his cock a discreet squeeze. He did his best not to moan out loud at your touch.

"You are going to pay for that," he whispered, causing you to laugh.

"Why don't we take a look at these profiles?" Steve interjected with a cough, waving a folder in the air. Everyone began leafing through their packets. The room was silent, save for the shuffling of paper.

"Wait, here's someone we should definitely consider," Bucky said after a long moment, freezing everyone's attention. He held up a sheet of paper with a picture stapled to it.

You leaned over to get a better look and immediately felt an odd sensation deep inside as your eyes focused on the woman in question: Jade Carthage, code-named 'Vixen'. She had long black hair cascading down her back and vibrant emerald green eyes that, in your opinion, looked cold and calculating. She was absolutely stunning.

"Let's see..." you began reading out loud, "she's the only survivor of a secret Hydra super soldier facility. Looks like they gave her a relatively successful version of the serum, but she single-handedly destroyed their base before it could be replicated and defected to S.H.I.E.L.D. Damn; that's really impressive. Enhanced strength, regenerative capabilities, trained in various forms of martial arts..." While reading about her powers and skills, you couldn't help but feel a slight twinge of jealousy over your own lack of superhero abilities. It was a gentle though bitter reminder that, though you may be able to play in the Avengers' world, you'd never really be one of them. 

"She seems..." Bucky said, almost reverently, letting the rest of his thought hang in the air. "We should definitely meet her." You weren't sure why, but the tone of his voice left your stomach feeling sour.

"Well, she certainly seems interesting," Tony said, perusing the profile, "but I'm not sure she'd be a good fit for the team; I'm not seeing anything unique she can bring us that we don't already have on tap, and I'd want to know why she was the base's sole survivor. What happened to the rest of the subjects? We'll have to look into her more closely before we consider inviting her."

"I think it would be a mistake not to at least meet her," Bucky said, his gaze still locked on Jade's picture. "You can't just walk out of a Hydra base, especially when they value you as an asset. She's got to be good at what she does."

The others seemed to agree with Bucky's assessment after reviewing Jade's sheet. The general consensus seemed to be in favor of inviting Jade in for a more in-depth interview and meet and greet before making further decisions. You weren't sure how you felt about it, but you kept your discomfort to yourself. After all, she could definitely be an asset to the team if they chose to make her an offer, and if she chose to accept, of course. Those were two big ifs that might amount to nothing.And really, when it came down to it, your opinion didn't matter. You weren't actually an Avenger. You were just... Avenger-adjacent. Shaking your head, you attempted to disperse the negative thought. It was a term you'd used to refer to yourself when you were feeling less than your friends, when you were being hard on yourself. You hadn't used it in a while, and you weren't about to let yourself spiral down the familiar path of self-loathing... at least, not just yet.

*

That night, you felt distracted. Though you couldn't help it, you found you kept comparing yourself to Jade Carthage, not able to get over the way Bucky had so intensely examined her photo and bio. You refused to examine why the thoughts bothered you so much; this wasn't a relationship, and he was free to find other women attractive, and though you tried to ignore the slick, slippery feeling they elicited in your gut, you knew you were wallowing.

But you couldn't help but think he was comparing you to her, too, and also finding you lacking.

For as practically as long as you could remember, your self esteem had been entwined with how sexually appealing men had found you. It was never a relationship you nurtured for yourself, but your mother's boyfriend had instilled in you that the happier you made his clients, the better he would treat you, and it fucked up your sense of self-worth. Under ideal conditions, you were able to put all your years of therapy to work and look past the trauma of your youth, but at times like this, when you were feeling less than, you sought out the approval that your sexuality brought you.

And right now, you were desperate for that approval from Bucky.

After you came out of the bathroom in your pajamas, you were disheartened to see him sitting on the edge of his bed, going over Jade's paperwork yet again. You sighed, but he didn't look up at you. Fine, if he was going to be like that, you'd just have to take matters into your own hands, literally, and make him remember who he shared a bed with at night.

Coming to stand before him, you reached down and took the paper from his hands, tossing it behind you.

"Hey," said Bucky, mild annoyance in his voice, "I was reading that."

Before he could even think about going after the discarded paper, though, you got down on your knees before him.

Tracing your fingers along his thighs, you eagerly reached for his belt, fumbling with the buckle in your haste. The zipper of his pants gave way easily as you pulled it down, revealing his cock beneath his boxer briefs. You wasted no time and hungrily grasped him in your hand, stroking him firmly and teasingly until he was throbbing and fully aroused.

"Pocket," he said, his protest laced with desire as he looked down at you with hooded eyes, "what are you--"

With a wicked smirk, you silenced him with a fierce look. Your tongue darted out to swirl around the tip of his throbbing cock, making him groan as he grabbed onto your hair. You took him into your mouth eagerly, savoring the taste and feel of him against your tongue. With each movement, you swallowed him deeper and deeper until your nose brushed against his lower stomach, sending shivers down his spine. Your hands worked his base expertly, teasing and toying with him as he begged for more.

"Fucking hell, Pocket," Bucky moaned as he thrust his hips towards you, "what's gotten into you tonight?"

You hummed against him, adding in subtle twists and sucks that made him tremble. He pulled at your hair harder, urging you to take him fully once again. With practiced ease, you hollowed out your cheeks and bobbed faster and harder against him, taking him all the way in until you could feel his twitching release just moments away. Both of you knew it wouldn't be long now before he exploded in ecstasy.

"I'm gonna come, Pocket," he moaned, trying to back himself out of your mouth, but you refused to let go, renewing your grip on his thighs, becoming almost aggressive. Your eyes locked onto his, silently begging for him to give in and let go. With one final grunt, Bucky exploded, spurting hot streams of his essence into your mouth. You eagerly gulped it all down, determined to take everything he had to give you. And when you finally released him from your mouth, the sound of a satisfying 'pop' echoed through the room.

"I just want you to remember that," you purred, slowly standing up and sauntering back to your side of the bed. You could feel the intense desire radiating from his gaze as you wiped the remnants of his spend from your lips and licked your fingers clean, and he had a look in his eyes that promised this moment would be seared into his memory forever.

You nestled into the warmth of the sheets, your head resting on his chest. His arms enveloped you, and in a hushed voice he expressed his gratitude. In that moment, you were grateful to have him by your side, knowing that for tonight, at least, he was yours and not consumed by thoughts of another.

From that night on, Bucky found every excuse he could to touch you. It was as though, after so many years of nothing but cold cruelty, he had become addicted to the warmth and softness of your skin. You didn't mind in the least; you liked the way he wrapped his arm around your stomach and rested his chin in the crook of your shoulder when he came up behind you, or the way he pulled your hand onto his thigh and traced the lines of your palm with his index finger while you watched TV in the common room, side by side.

One afternoon, you were standing in front of a monitor in your lab, lost in thought as the numbers from your latest algorithm trial ran across the screen. So immersed were you in the data that you didn't notice the form coming up behind you until two hands grabbed you by the waist, lifting you up and spinning you.

Without thinking, your years of training kicked in, like flipping on a switch. You stomped down, hard, on the top of your assailant's foot with your heel, while simultaneously throwing your elbow back into their solar plexus. The attacker let out a low "Oof" and released their hold on you, giving you the opportunity to drop your weight low and spin on your toes to face them.

Bucky stood stooped before you, one hand clutching his abdomen where your elbow had made contact, the other hand held up in surrender. The other hand?

"Jesus Christ, Buck!" you panted. "You scared the shit out of me!"

"I was trying to surprise you, you hell beast," Bucky said, though he was smiling. Rubbing the tender spot of nerves you had so artfully disturbed, he asked "Where'd you learn to fight so dirty?"

"Krav Maga," you beamed, pleased that you'd managed to get a hit on a super soldier, even if Bucky hadn't been actually attacking you. "Care to tell me how you managed to end up with two fucking arms?"

Now it was Buck's turn to beam at you as he held out his new left arm for your perusal. You took the hand, inspecting it. Black metal gleamed in the light of your lab. You turned the arm over, admiring the craftsmanship. "This is a thing of beauty, Buck," you murmured, trailing your fingers along the gold veins that ran through the metal. Bucky involuntarily shivered at your touch. "You can feel that?" you asked him, awestruck. He nodded, his face awash in delight.

You leaned in to examine it more closely. If you didn't know any better, you'd say it was... But, no, it couldn't be– "Bucky," you said in astonishment, looking up to meet his eye, "is this vibranium?"

Bucky grinned from ear to ear, looking like a little boy who had gotten just what he'd asked for for Christmas. "It was a gift. From the Wakandans, for helping them capture Helmut Zemo." Bucky seemed almost shy at revealing why the Wakandans had gifted him the arm, as though he was still uncomfortable with being acknowledged for doing good instead of being blamed for committing evil.

"This..." you started, at a loss for words. "Bucky, this is amazing! The Wakandans are the most technologically advanced nation on the planet. This makes the arm I've been working on look like a fucking stick."

Bucky cocked his head and studied you as you studied the vibranium appendage. "You were making me an arm, doll?" he asked, throat choked on emotion.

You looked up at him, a blush of color rising to your cheeks. "Well, I was trying to. I wasn't going to say anything until I knew it would work; I didn't want to get your hopes up, but this... this is worlds better than anything I could have manufactured."

Bucky gently pulled his metal arm from your hand and used it to cup your cheek, instead. You leaned into the cool, hard metal. "That's the sweetest thing anyone has ever done for me," he murmured. You gave him a soft smile.

"You're one of my best friends, and you deserve all the good things," you told him with a shrug of your shoulder. "Including two functioning arms."

Bucky pulled you into a hug and you returned his embrace, relishing in the feeling of being completely held by him. "I don't know what I'd do without you, Pocket," he said into the top of your head.

You pulled back to look up at him. "Well, hopefully, you'll never have to find out." You stayed like that for a few moments longer, neither of you willing to be the first to let go. "You know what," you said, eventually pulling away from him, "we should celebrate."

Bucky looked down at you with a glint in his eye. "Celebrate, huh? What should we do?"

"Anything you want," you told him, moving out of the cage of his arms. Arms. You still couldn't believe it. "It's your arm we're celebrating."

He studied you for a moment, and there was a look in his eyes you couldn't quite decipher. As the heat of Bucky's gaze lingered on you, a shiver ran down your spine. There was something different about the way he looked at you now, something that made your heart race and your palms grow sweaty. It was as if every fiber of his being was focused solely on you, his eyes tracing every contour of your face with an almost alarming intensity.

"Can we start those Hobbit movies?" he asked.

"That's how you want to celebrate?" you smiled up at him. "You're such a fucking nerd. Yeah, we can absolutely do that. Oh, shit--" you remembered. "It's Girls' Night tonight. It’s fine– I can skip it."

"No," said Bucky, and the look he'd been giving you had vanished, leaving you to wonder if you'd simply imagined it to begin with, "go to Girls' Night. I know how much you look forward to those."

"I said we'd celebrate, and I want to celebrate," you insisted. "I can bow out of Girls' Night early. I'll just pop in, have one glass of wine, and then I'll be all yours; they can manage without me for a night."

Bucky hit you with his devil-charming grin. "All mine?" he asked, a mischievous lilt to his voice.

Rolling your eyes, you playfully slapped at his chest. "You know what I mean, asshat."

"Another dollar in the jar," he tsked.

"Get the fuck out of here and let me get back to work," you said with a laugh, shooing him away. You followed him with your eyes as he made his way to the door. Right before he went through, he turned around and looked back over at you, giving you a parting smile before walking off.

*

Since there were only four women who lived full-time at the Tower (you, former KGB assassin-turned SHIELD spy-turned Avenger, Natasha Romanoff, Tony's long-time romantic partner and Stark Industries CEO Pepper Potts, and, most recently, Sokovian witch Wanda Maximoff), you all made an effort to get together once a month for a Girl's Night, to relax, catch up, and just spend time in each other's company.

"So, what is going on between you and Barnes," Natasha asked when you explained why you needed to cut out early tonight.

You looked at her, confused. "There's nothing going on between me and Barnes," you told her. "We're just friends, Natty."

"You and I are 'just friends,' Pocket, and you don't see me with my hands all over you, 24/7," Nat smirked.

"No one's stopping you, Natasha." With a wink, you grabbed her hand and put it on your boob. She gave it a quick squeeze, but then said:

"Seriously, he's all over you like government money on a bad idea."

You shrugged. "He just likes physical touch, that's all. It's, like, his love language or something."

"I'll bet it is," Pepper said coyly, taking a sip of wine from her oversize glass. Girl's Nights always came with a few bottles of Tony's finest vintage. "Can’t say I’ve seen him touching Steve like that, though. Then again, who can say what those two get up to behind closed locker room doors?"

"Pepper!" Wanda swatted at her, pretending to be scandalized. "I'm sure if Pocket says there's nothing going on between her and Bucky, there's nothing going on." She shot you a wicked look. "Of course, I could always read her mind to get the truth out of her."

Nat clapped, delighted. "Oh my God, yes! Please do it, Wanda! Get all of Pocket's dirty little secrets!" All three of the women turned to look at you with hopeful expressions.

"Go ahead," you told Wanda dismissively. "I've got nothing to hide where Bucky's concerned."

The Scarlet Witch did a little shimmy of excitement. "Oh, yay! No one ever willingly lets me look into their heads," she said. "This'll be good practice! And I promise," she added, solemnly, "I’ll only look at your memories of Bucky, nothing else." Her fingertips began to glow red as she raised her hands to your temples. You weren't sure what you were expecting, but it was like a warm buzzing sensation ran through your brain. It felt really--

"Fucking cool," you muttered.

"There's another dollar in the jar," Pepper joked, causing you to stick your tongue out at her.

"Boo," said Wanda, pulling back after a moment. "She's telling the truth. Nothing's going on between them. They're just disgustingly best friend-y. They're just sleeping together."

"I knew it!" Nat shouted in triumph.

"No, I mean, they actually just sleep together. No sex. Just some light cuddling," Wanda clarified. "Not even an occasional groping."

Nat and Pepper groaned in unison.

"Well, that's disappointing," Nat said, throwing back a good sized mouthful of wine.

"She does still have that leather jacket of yours, Nat," Wanda added, giving you a wink.

Natasha feigned outrage. "You thief! You said you lost it!"

"I thought I lost it," you amended, giving Wanda a dirty look. "I just found it the other day when I was unpacking my go-bag. I'll get it back to you."

Nat gave you a skeptical glare. "I'll believe it when I see it, but back to you and Barnes," she said.

"I don't know why you all care so much," you lamented, refilling your own glass. "Pep, you and Wanda have your own relationships we could be talking about, and Nat, you never tell us what's going on between you and Bruce-- I have to hear everything second-hand from Clint, which you know is so weird-- so I'm not sure why I have to be the focus of attention."

"Okay, first of all," Wanda said, "I adore Vision with all of my heart, but Bucky Barnes? Oof. I'd let that man do unspeakable things to my body."

"Wanda!" The three of you stared at the normally reserved Sokovian with open mouths. 

"What?" She shrugged, a tinge of pink creeping up her cheeks. "He's gorgeous. It's an objective fact."

You shook your head, trying to wrap your brain around what she just said. You knew Bucky was handsome; you'd known from the first moment you saw him, but as your friendship had blossomed, you had sort of... stopped paying attention to it? Who he was as a person had become far more important to you than what he looked like. Sure, there were moments when you would be reminded of just how attractive he was, but they always hit you like a ton of bricks because you never focused on it for very long, so it seemed so easy to forget and just see him as Bucky, your best friend-- kind, funny, smart, loyal Bucky.

"And he's just gotten better looking the longer he's been here," Nat added. "I wouldn't be able to keep my hands off of him, either, Pocket, if I wasn't afraid he'd rip my arms off for trying."

You rolled your eyes at your friend, but she was right-- Bucky had gotten so much better the longer he'd been at the Tower, but that was because he was taking care of himself. He was getting more sleep, so his eyes had lost their dark circles and their sunken, hollow look. He'd been eating better and had put on some weight-- all of it muscle, broadening his shoulders and thickening his thighs. He'd cut his hair short and shaved his beard, leaving just a hint of stubble.

"What are you smiling at?" Pepper teased, pulling you from your thoughts.

"Hmm? Oh. Just thinking about how much better Bucky's been doing since he got some stability in his life and people who care about his well being. While you all sit here objectifying a senior citizen prisoner of war like he's a piece of meat," you teased. "What are you, men?"

"Wow," said Nat with a laugh, "way to make us feel like assholes." You just smiled and sipped your wine.

"If the butt plugs fit..." Natasha picked up a couch pillow and threw it at you. You were able to dodge it easily, so you knew the assassin hadn't been actually trying to hit you, though you did have to carefully balance your wineglass to prevent it from spilling all over the couch.

"Ladies," Pepper warned. It wasn't the first time your banter would have devolved into an expensive dry cleaning bill.

"Sorry, Mom," You and Nat sang in unison, wicked grins on your faces.

*

About an hour later, you were getting ready to watch the first Hobbit movie. You'd changed into your pajamas and were getting your movie snacks in order. Bucky was sprawled atop your mattress; the two of you hardly slept apart anymore, and you alternated whose room you stayed in. Tonight was your turn to host the Nightmare Sleepover, as you'd come to call it.

"How was Girl's Night," Bucky asked as he watched you put on your lotion.

"Interesting," you replied, rubbing the lilac-scented balm into your skin. You knew how much he loved the smell of it, so you always made sure to have it on hand. "They think we're sleeping together, so they wanted all the salacious details."

"Doll," he chuckled, rolling onto his side to get a better view of you, "we are sleeping together."

You shot him an arched glance. "You know what I mean."

Bucky fiddled with his vibranium thumb and looked up at you through his lashes. "What did you tell them?"

You plopped yourself next to him on the bed, grinning. "Well, obviously, I told them you're hung like a horse and have the stamina of a steam engine, but that you always cry after you come and you insist on calling me 'mommy.' It’s fairly off-putting."

"You are an absolute menace!" He lunged for you and began tickling you without mercy. You fought him off as valiantly as you could, but you were no match for a super soldier and you both knew it.

"Yield!" you cried, breathless, a few moments later. "I yield!" He reluctantly let you go so you could catch your breath. "I told them the truth-- we're just friends," you said once you could talk again, "but they all think you're very sexy and one of them-- and I will not say which one-- said she would let you do, and I quote, ‘unspeakable things to her body.’"

Bucky's face lit up like a Christmas tree; you knew how much he relished any kind of praise. It was like physical touch-- he had been deprived of it for so long, he was starved for it. "Was it Natasha? It was Nat, wasn't it?"

The readiness at which he jumped to that conclusion left a gross feeling in the pit of your stomach. All you could do was give him a tight-lipped smile and shrug your shoulders, playing coy. You definitely did not want to examine why his comment made you feel so icky.

"We should get this movie going," you told him, instead. "Otherwise we'll be up all night." Bucky fluffed up your pillows against your headboard while you fiddled with the remote to queue up the film. Because this was Tony's place, you didn't have a regular television. Instead, your room was equipped with a projector embedded in the ceiling, and the entire wall opposite your bed was the screen. It was as good as a movie theater.

"Are you excited?" you asked as you leaned back against the pillows next to Bucky.

"Are you kidding me?" he said, scooting closer to you until your shoulders were touching and passing you an open pack of Twizzlers. "Watching an adaptation of my favorite book with my best girl? I've been looking forward to this since the moment you told me there were movies."

A warmth flooding your insides like liquid sunshine. You poked his mouth with a Twizzler until he opened up and ripped a bite off of it. Grinning, you took a bite and rested your head on his shoulder, feeling completely content in this moment with your best friend.

*

"I've been meaning to thank you," Steve said as he stood over your shoulder. It was about a week after your movie night with Bucky, and you and Steve were working a mission together in Eastern Latvia. He'd already cleared the facility of hostile agents, allowing you the time you needed to infiltrate the site's computer systems and copy all necessary files for extraction back to the US government’s counter-terrorism task force. It was something you'd done a hundred times before, and could probably do with your eyes closed.

"Thank me for what? We've done this dance plenty of times." Your eyes narrowed as you concentrated on the computer code, fingers moving almost too fast for your own eyes to follow. You had nearly done it- the breach was wide open, and the terrorists' files were all laid out before you. The hard part was over, now it was just a matter of copying them over securely.

"Not the mission," he clarified, clearing his throat. "I wanted to thank you for what you've done for Bucky, for being there for him. I... I know you don't like me and things between us haven't been the same since Berlin, but it means a lot to me, knowing that he can call you a friend."

You paused, fingers hovering over the keyboard, and stared blankly at the screen, not able to look at him in the moment. "I never disliked you, Steve," you began, slowly, choosing your words with care, "but you broke us. You had your reasons, I get that, and maybe, to you, they seemed like good ones, but you fractured our family instead of trying to find a way for all of us to work through it, together. The only reason we're even in this room right now is because, by some grace of God, Tony was able to put his ego aside and offer you an olive branch to come home. We might look whole on the outside, but the cracks are still there. And they're always going to be. They'll never fully heal.

"So, it's not that I don't like you anymore. It's that I can't trust you. Not right now. Because I don't know if you're going to break us again." Your voice cracked by the end, but you felt surprisingly lightened, as though a massive weight had been lifted from your shoulders, and you realized just how desperately you had needed Steve to know how his actions had affected, not just you, but the others, as well. None of you had wanted to be forced to take sides in the civil war between Iron Man and Captain America; it had felt like burning down your own house, but in the end they had left you no choice. You'd already had it out with Tony. He'd apologized in the only way a man like him knew how-- with a brand new Ferrari that you were too anxious to drive and an obscene raise to your salary, but you'd never spoken about it with Steve. He'd seemed too content to act as though nothing had changed, like he hadn’t upended your entire existence.

You heard him clear his throat above you and you looked up. He was looking away from you, his face impassive, save for a tic in jaw. You'd known him long enough to see he was working on holding back his emotions.

"That's fair," he said softly. "That's entirely valid, and fair. And for what it's worth, I'm sorry. I was so caught up in trying to bring back my best friend that I didn't realize I was throwing away my family." He stole a glance down at you and caught your gaze; you could see his eyes shining. "I'll do better, Pocket. I'll do better for all of us, and I’ll especially do better for you."

His words didn't heal the wounds on your heart, but they did make them hurt a little less. You flashed him a small smile of gratitude, amazed that just his acknowledgement of the pain he'd caused you could be such a soothing balm to your anger. "Thanks, Cap. I appreciate it." He smiled at your use of the nickname; you hadn't called him anything but Rogers in forever. “And, for what it's worth," you added as the computer began beeping, signaling the transfer of files was complete and your objective had been reached, "I'm grateful you brought Bucky back with you. I can't imagine not having him in my life now." You stood up and pocketed the flash drive that now contained 18 months worth of terrorist plans. "Now, what do you say we blow this fucking Popsicle stand?" You gave him a cheeky grin as you deposited a small detonator on top of the computer server.

Steve returned your smile and offered a flourished "After you" as the two of you made your way out of the facility. Once you had cleared the perimeter, he gave you the all clear, signaling you to set off the detonators. You watched together as the building imploded into a spectacular fireball. Your relationship may not have been fully cured, but it had finally begun the process of healing.

*

When the Quinjet landed back at the Avengers’ Tower, Bucky was waiting for you in the landing bay. You'd only been gone for four days, but as soon as he saw you start down the gangplank, he ran to you, picking you up and spinning you in circles until you squealed.

"Buck! Put me down before I throw up on you!"

"Can't, Pocket," he said, though he did stop spinning you. "Missed you too much. Physically impossible to let you go."

Steve followed shortly behind you, rolling his eyes at his best friend's theatrics. "No love for your old war buddy, Barnes?"

Bucky laughed, finally putting you down to give Steve a brief, one-armed hug. "Glad you're back safe, too, Stevie," he said. "And thanks for bringing my Pocket home in one piece."

Steve pulled you close in a side hug, the earlier tension that had existed between the two of you having faded since you had a chance to clear the air. "You should be thanking her for bringing me home in one piece. The girl's deadly with plastic explosives."

You shoved him away from you playfully. "Please, Stevie," you teased. "If you just learned the first thing about computers, you could have done the whole mission on your own, you wouldn't even have needed me."

"Always gonna need you, Pocket," Steve said, ruffling your hair. "You're family." You gave each other stupid grins before he hefted his go-bag over his shoulder. "I'm gonna go grab a shower and get some sleep. I'll see you kids later." He walked off into the belly of the tower, leaving you and Bucky alone.

"Ugh, I can't wait to get out of this tac-suit," you moaned. "I always feel so filthy after a mission with explosives, you know?" Bucky gave you a curious look as he leaned down and grabbed your go-bag for you. "Such a gentleman," you smiled at him as you led the way back to your room.

You went straight into the bathroom and unzipped the top of your tac-suit, pulling it down over your arms until it was hanging from your waist. With a sigh of relief at being freed from the confines of the heavy poly-carbonate blended fabric, you washed your face and started brushing your teeth.

"So, how was the mission?" Bucky called from where he was sitting on your bed.

"Goo!" you managed to get out around a mouthful of toothpaste.

"Good, good." He paused. "So, um, it's not really my business or anything, but did something happen... between you and Steve? While you guys were gone? Like, did you guys, I dunno... sleep together?"

You nearly choked on your toothpaste and quickly spat it out in the sink before coming out of the bathroom.

"I'm sorry," you said, pointing your toothbrush at him accusingly. "Did you just ask me if I had sex with Steve Rogers?"

He wouldn't look at you. "Like I said, it's none of my business. It's just that, before you guys left, you were always kind of, I dunno, angry at him? And then you get off the plane and you're hugging and he's got his hands in your hair and you’re calling him ‘Stevie’. So, I was just wondering if something happened."

"And your brain immediately jumped to us sleeping together?" You asked him, incredulous. He looked up at you. "Seriously? We just talked. Lanced some bad blood that had been festering between us since Berlin, so we can work on being good again, be a family again." You noticed he was staring at you, mouth slightly opened. "What?" you asked him.

He motioned vaguely toward your chest, and you looked down to realize your tac-suit was still hanging half off of you and you were standing in front of him in just a purple push-up bra.

"Oh for fucks' sake, Barnes. They're just tits." You stalked over to your dresser and pulled out a t-shirt and slipped it over your head. "Better now?"

He shook his head as if a spell had been broken over him. "Uh, yeah. So, you didn't sleep with Steve," he reiterated.

"No, I did not. To begin with, he's family. There's a major ick factor. And second--, no. That's really it. The idea is super gross."

"Good," Bucky chuckled. "I love Steve like a brother, but I didn't love the idea of sharing you with him."

You started shimmying yourself out of the pants of your tac-suit and tossed it into your hamper. "Yes," you deadpanned, "because you know how much I love being compared to an object that can be owned and thus shared among friends. Not emotionally triggering for me at all."

Bucky had the decency to look chastised. "You know that's not what I meant."

"Relax, Barnes," you teased as you stepped into and pulled up a pair of shorts. "I'm just giving you shit." You ruffled his hair. "I may be emotionally scarred and have more baggage than the cargo hold on an airplane, but at least I can laugh about it."

Bucky rolled his eyes at you, but there was a smile on his lips. "You're something else, you know that?"

You grinned at him. "I'd like to think so. Makes your life so much more interesting, don't you think?"

Bucky nodded in agreement. "Definitely. You're never boring, that's for sure."

You chuckled and flopped down on your bed next to him. "So, what about you? Any juicy drama while I was gone?"

"Hmmm, let's see..." Bucky thought for a moment. "I'm pretty sure Nat and Banner were fucking in the lab the other day."

"No!" you gasped, sitting up.

"Yeah; I needed some calibration done on my arm, and since you weren't here, I went down to Bruce's lab to ask him to help, but the doors were locked. I was about to turn around and come back later, when the door opened up and Nat came rushing out, won’t acknowledge me or make eye contact, and I swear her shirt was on inside out. I get inside and Banner's actively tucking his shirt back into his pants."

You cackled at the mental image, kicking your legs in the air with delight. "Oh, that's amazing. Finally, those two crazy kids got together. I'll have to find some way to get Nat to give me all the dirty, dirty details."

"Ugh, if you do, please keep them to yourself," Bucky moaned. "Last thing I need is a mental picture of Banner's mini-Hulk."

"Hey now, I'm sure Bruce is perfectly proportionate," you teased. Then you got serious. "I gotta admit, I'm a bit jealous."

"You have a thing for Bruce?" Bucky asked, eyes wide with astonishment. "I would never have guessed he's your type."

"What?! No!" You playfully shoved him. "Same reason I'm jealous of Tony and Pepper, Wanda and Viz, Clint and Laura. You and your left hand, Sam and whoever he's dating this week. It just must be nice to be in a relationship, you know? To have someone to share that part of your life with."

Bucky cocked his eyebrow, but nodded, understanding your meaning and letting your joke about his left hand slide. "So, what's stopping you from going out and getting one for yourself, Pocket? You're smart, funny, gorgeous. You could date anyone you wanted."

You leaned back, making yourself comfortable against your pillows and heaved a heavy sigh. "Oh, you know, just the usual: Trauma, trust issues, fear of abandonment. All of that fun stuff." Bucky gave you a look, and you knew he wanted you to take the conversation seriously, for once.

"Finnne," you whined. "After I... Once I started out on my own, I was... Well, I did everything I could think of to try to reclaim sex for myself, you know? It wasn't healthy, it wasn't smart, but I was young and stupid and I didn't know what else to do. I fully embraced my Slut Era, if you will. I can fuck someone without having a panic attack now, which, trust me, is a vast improvement from where I started, but making myself vulnerable for that emotional connection? To transcend something from just sex to a real relationship? I have no idea how to do that. It's like, I can open up one way, or the other; I can't do both. It's too much. If there’s even a hint of an emotional connection with a guy, I shut down. Close myself off. Like, it’s not worth the risk of getting hurt.”

"I understand," said Bucky, softly and simply, and you knew that he did. Your traumas were different, but the scars they had left on you were so similar. "I haven't been with a girl, physically, since 1944," he confided. "I don't know if I can trust anyone to be that open with, to share that part of me with. Not after everything that's been done to me. And I worry that I can't trust myself to let go, not without hurting someone."

You let out a long, low whistle. "That's gotta be some kinda celibacy record." You clapped your hand over your mouth. "You're a reborn virgin, James Buchanan Barnes!"

"Reached your quota for serious conversation, have you?" Bucky asked with a piqued eyebrow.

"You know it's not my strong suit," you conceded. "But seriously, man? 1944? Oof. Your balls must be black by now."

He gave you a look of disappointment, causing you to sigh.

"I know, I know," you said eventually. "You're trying to have a meaningful discussion with me and I'm being an immature ass, again. I'm sorry."

Bucky wrapped his arms around you and rested his chin on your shoulder. "You're not an ass, Pocket. You're just... I wish you could talk to me without feeling like you have to fall back onto your defense mechanisms, that's all. I want you to feel safe with me."

You turned your head to look at him. "Buck, I feel safer with you than anyone else on this entire fucking planet. You're my best friend and you know all of my deep, dark secrets. You know me better than anyone, but I’ve spent a lifetime building those defenses; they aren't all just going to fall down in a day, so that means an inappropriate joke or two is going to slip through every now and then.”

Bucky smiled at you and squeezed you a bit tighter. "I know, Pocket. And I adore you for it. But if you ever want to talk about anything serious, know that I'm here for you."

"I know," you said, leaning into him. "And thank you for being so patient and understanding with me. I get that I can be... a lot."

"No, you're just enough," he said. "Never think otherwise."

"You're sure you're cool with this, Boss?" you asked Tony Stark, for what was probably the ten thousandth time in the last hour. The two of you were sitting by yourselves off in a corner of the common area of the Avengers Tower while the rest of your team congregated around the bar, eagerly anticipating the official return of Captain America to the Avengers. That, by itself, would be enough to warrant a gathering of Earth's mightiest heroes, but what had everyone in attendance talking was the fact that Steve Rogers wouldn't be returning alone.

Your billionaire employer sighed and swirled his glass of Laphroaig, the amber liquid sloshing along the sides of the tumbler

. "I don't love it, Pocket, but it was Cap's only condition for coming back into the fold, and since Barton, Wilson, and Maximoff all went off the reservation with him, it seemed a small price to pay to get everyone back under one roof." He took a swig of his whiskey and smacked his lips.

You couldn't help but smile at his use of your nickname. Thor had inadvertently given it to you when you first met the God of Thunder years ago, remarking for everyone to hear that you were so small and tiny, he could tuck you into his pocket and abscond away with you to Asgard. Somehow, it stuck. You'd hated it at first; it had felt dismissive and condescending, which of course meant that it soon became the only thing the members of your team called you, but the more they used in their daily lives, the more you actually came to love it. It was a brand new, unique identity that came to embody the person you’d become, and the past you’d worked so hard to put behind you. You were more likely to answer to 'Pocket,' now, than you were your legal name, and you were grateful for it.

"Besides," Tony continued with a shrug, "if letting the Barnes thing go means we get the band back together, I'm willing to be the bigger person about it."

You stared at him, impressed. "Well look at you. When did you get so emotionally evolved?"

"Since Pepper told me I needed to start seeing a therapist or she’d leave me once and for all," he admitted to you with a cheeky wink; you both knew that, though Tony drove his partner, Pepper Potts, absolutely insane sometimes, she loved him far too much to ever walk away from him for good. That didn’t stop the threats, though. Lord knows he tried her patience. In your opinion, the woman was a saint.

Your eyes widened at the revelation and you let out a low whistle of appreciation. "You're going to therapy? Wow. Tony, That's amazing. I'm proud of you."

"Oh please," Tony scoffed, "I have much more important things to do than sit on a couch and spill my feelings. Besides, my secrets are too valuable to divulge to an actual human being. I just trained FRIDAY on therapeutic conversational datasets so she can handle all that psychological mumbo jumbo and then I paired that with BARF's augmented reality-- it's seriously the platinum standard in mental healthcare. No awkward silences or judgmental stares, just pure efficiency. You should try it; it’d do you wonders. And the best part? No copays."

You chuckled as you took a sip of your pineapple and Malibu. "Yeah, okay. That completely tracks for you," you told him with a smile. "So, what did Dr. FRIDAY tell you that got you to change your mind about the Barnes situation?"

Furrows appeared between Tony's eyebrows as he took another sip of whiskey to buy time for collecting his thoughts. There was still so much pain in him where Bucky Barnes was concerned. You'd worked for him in some capacity for nearly fifteen years and you'd never seen him as defeated as he'd been when he got off that Quinjet from Siberia. He'd been bloodied, battered and utterly broken, body and soul. Seeing him like that had shattered you, and you never wanted to live through something like that again.

Tony ran you through his experience with his therapeutic innovation, and you had to admit, it was impressive. The system had helped him realize that Bucky Barnes wasn't responsible for the heinous crimes Hydra had brainwashed him into completing, and so his anger over the death of his parents, while justified, had been misdirected.

"Once I processed that, it was a quick jump to realizing we can't be the best version of the Avengers if we only have half the team at home, and it's innocent people who would pay the price for it. So, when I reached out to Cap and he agreed to come back if I agreed to let him bring Barnes with him, well..." Tony trailed off, gesturing vaguely with his hand toward the where the rest of the team was waiting.

"So, you and Rogers are just, what? Good then? All water under the bridge?" you asked him, mild irritation clouding your voice.

"Oh, absolutely not." Tony took another sip of whiskey. "I can work with him again, and I'm glad to, but we're not going to be braiding each other's hair anytime soon."

"Good," you said, raising your glass in a mock toast to Tony. "I'm not quite ready to forgive him on your behalf just yet." Tony had essentially saved your life when you first met him, and he’d continued to support and guide your career to heights you could have never imagined. You'd started as a systems analyst and mechanical engineer at Stark Industries fresh out of college, and under Tony’s mentorship, it wasn’t long before you found yourself rising to the position of the company’s Chief Technical Officer, second in command only to Pepper, now that Tony had passed on the reins to her. All this happened long before he'd ever brought you in to work with him on the Avengers Initiative, and now you spent the majority of your time heading up their Technology and Innovation Department, as well.

Any kind of healthy respect you might have had for your boss had died out a long, long time ago, because Tony Stark  was Tony Stark, but now he was just Tony-- more like an annoying older brother you loved dearly,  whose name just happened to be on your paychecks. You owed him everything and that had earned him your unwavering loyalty. You'd follow him to hell and back again if he asked it of you, though he knew he’d never have to; you’d be paving the path there right alongside him.

The sound of laughter made its way across to you from the other side of the room and you felt warmth at the sound-- everyone, together again and happy. Just a few short months ago, you never would have been able to imagine the scene before you, not after the fight in Berlin and its brutal aftermath. You had thought for sure that this little family you'd found yourself in the middle of had been destroyed beyond repair.

So, you might have had your own reasons to be pissed at Steve Rogers.

"What's Barnes like?" you asked Tony. Having only ever glimpsed him from a distance, or from behind a computer monitor, you'd utilized all the resources at your disposal to dig up as much information on the Winter Soldier as possible, but even your skills hadn't been able to get you what simply didn't exist. "You know I don't like unknown quantities."

Tony seemed to think for a moment. "You mean, aside from being a brainwashed, murderous assassin?"

"Tony," you chastised. You knew that Barnes had spent a good deal of time in Wakanda before coming home to New York, working on having the words that triggered his homicidal alter-ego neutralized. Rogers may not always acted rationally when it came to making decisions about his oldest friend, but you were sure he wouldn’t be bringing Barnes back to the Tower if he posed a serious danger to the rest of you. Right?

"Fine," Tony said, with a typical exaggerated sigh. "Aside from being a former brainwashed, murderous assassin; better?" You rolled your eyes but nodded. "Don't really know, didn't care enough to ask. I'll be happy as long as he doesn't start murdering us all in our sleep. Cap vouches for him, so that counts for something. Maybe not as much as it did once upon a time, but something. But T’Challa seems to think he’s harmless enough now, so that’s good enough for me."

You nodded, taking another sip of your pineapple and Malibu, then leaned back, pensive. "Oh, God," you said after a moment of thought, sitting up in alarm. "You don't think it’s going to be like having an entire extra Rogers around, do you? All '40s morality and emotional repression? Because I am so over having him police my language." It wasn't that you had anything against Captain America as an Avenger, but there was only so much of the Boy Scout act you could take before you started getting nauseous. And okay, fine, you weren't too proud to admit it-- there was a not-so-small part of you that still hadn't forgiven him for what you saw as his blatant betrayal of Tony when he refused to sign the Accords. You'd promised to play nice, though, for the sake of your family, but your personal relationship with The Star-Spangled Man had taken heavy damage since Berlin.

Tony chuckled. "As if you'd ever let Cap's presence keep you from a good profanity. I should put out a swear jar. We could fund that crisis algorithm project of yours off your mouth alone."

"Fuck you, Tony," you uttered with a chuckle, fully aware that he had your number. You never met a four-letter word you didn’t fall immediately in love with.

"And look at that," Tony said with a smirk, "I just made another dollar. Hey FRIDAY, open up a new savings account and deposit a dollar into every time Pocket has a potty mouth."

"On it, Boss," the AI replied cheerfully.

You swore at Tony a few more times for good measure. "I fully intend to financially bleed you dry now, asshole."

"Oh no, I'm shaking in my custom Tom Ford's," Tony mockingly bemoaned, putting his feet, enclosed in the aforementioned ridiculously expensive loafers, up on the coffee table.

Raised voices from the other side of the room caught your attention. You stood up and craned your neck, trying to see what had caused the commotion. "I think they're here, Boss," you said.

"Alright," Tony said, standing up and putting an arm around your shoulder, "big smiles, kiddo. Remember, we're supposed to be happy about this." You suppressed a chuckle as you watched Rogers present Bucky Barnes to the rest of the team. Everyone was welcoming; you wouldn’t have expected any less, but as you watched their body language, the only word that came to mind was guarded. And you completely understood; The Winter Soldier’s reputation had preceded him, after all. There were hugs for Rogers, of course, but no one made any attempt to reach out to his friend.

Despite your overall annoyance with Rogers, you couldn't help but feel some degree of happiness for the giant oaf. When you'd been assigned on a mission with him (which happened fairly frequently, as he was so pathetically abysmal with anything having to do with technology) and ended up having to hole up in a safehouse for an extra couple of days while waiting for extraction, he'd started opening up to you about James Buchanan Barnes, and the reminiscing had made him so happy, you encouraged Steve to tell you everything about this Bucky. After that, the trouble was getting Rogers to stop telling his Bucky stories. If he wasn't sharing tales about growing up with his best friend during the Great Depression and all the absolute mischief they got into, he was sharing war stories of their time together with the Howling Commandos. He'd even shared his grief with you– how painful it had been to watch Barnes fall from that train and the guilt he carried for not being able to save him. He’d confessed to you once that, when he went into the ice, fully prepared to die, there was a part of him that was relieved to be reunited with Barnes in the next life, and waking up some 70 years later to a world where he was still alive but Bucky was still gone had broken his heart all over again. And yet, here they were– together in the next life, after all. If you were a different kind of person, you’d say it was a goddamn miracle. 

Because of the way Rogers described his best friend in those old stories, you were expecting Bucky Barnes to come swaggering along next to him, with a cocksure tilt to his head and a panty-dropping smirk playing along his lips, but the man who accompanied Steve was the furthest thing from that.

He shuffled behind Rogers slowly, looking at the floor and avoiding making eye contact with anyone else from the team. His hair hung long and limp, curtaining off his face as though it were a protective barrier. Though, if it was keeping him away from everyone else, or everyone else away from him, you couldn't be sure. He was much thinner than you'd anticipated, especially for a super soldier– though still extremely muscular, giving you the impression that it had been a long time since he'd let himself indulge in anything more than the bare minimum amount of calories he needed for survival. Tilting your head, you tried to steal a glance at his infamous metal arm, the thing of legends that had turned him from a run-of-the-mill assassin into the stuff of waking nightmares.

But the sleeve of his jacket hung limp, only empty space where the appendage should have been.

Curious. He'd come to Tony Stark's home unarmed. Your hand flew to your mouth to try and stop the uncontrollable snicker that broke loose at your own stupid joke. Tony elbowed you gently in the ribs to shut you up, and you hoped you were too far away and the others too distracted by Steve's introductions to notice you, but that thought flew right out the window when Bucky Barnes' head snapped up at the sound, his eyes locking onto yours from across the room.

"Holy shit," you breathed, knowing another dollar would go into Tony's digital swear jar, but damn if the man didn't have the most striking blue eyes you had ever seen. There were dark circles under them, and he looked incredibly tired, yeah, but they were beautiful. You didn't mean to stare, but you found you couldn't look away, either, and so the two of you were locked into some sort of impromptu staring contest. The longer you looked at him, the more you could sense an overwhelming sadness coming from him, as well as a level of wariness at being in a room full of strangers. It was almost overwhelming.

But then, just as suddenly as it began, the spell was broken. Blinking once, Bucky looked away and you felt the tension vanish from between you.

"What was that about?" Tony asked you in a low singsong voice.

"I have no idea," you answered, honestly. There had been so much pain and loneliness in his eyes. You'd seen eyes like that before, when you were younger and looked at your own reflection in the mirror following a scalding shower with your skin scrubbed raw and bloody. You suppressed a shiver.

Finally, Steve managed to disengage himself and Bucky from the other Avengers and began making his way toward you and Tony. Up close, you were struck by how tall Bucky was. He had to be at least a foot taller than you, if not more. And God, he was handsome. Granted, in a kind of heroin-chic sort of way, but still. A couple of good nights' sleep, a few good meals, some light personal grooming, and... well, there was a very good chance you were going to be in trouble once he got his shit together, that was for sure.

"And Buck," Steve was saying, drawing you out of your ogling, "This is our resident computer genius, Pocket (Y/L/N). You ever need help with anything technology-related, she's your girl."

"A bit of an over-simplified version, Rogers," you said, sticking your hand out to shake Bucky’s, "but yeah, that about covers it."

Bucky looked at you, then down at your hand, making no move to take it.

"What the hell kind of name is Pocket?" he asked, voice rough as though he hadn’t been using it a lot. Pulling your hand back, you shot him an annoyed glare.

"I don't know," you oozed back sarcastically. "What the hell kind of name is Bucky?"

"It's his nickname, Pocket," Steve supplied helpfully, though not without a trace of confusion. You gave him an annoyed, pointed look.

"No shit, Rogers." You turned back to Bucky and spoke slowly, as if to a child. "So, what do you think Pocket is, then?"

"Oh," said Bucky, catching on. The corners of his mouth turned up ever so slightly. "Gotcha; m'sorry about that. My manners are rusty from a severe lack of use."

You didn't mean it, but your mouth curved up into a hint of a smile, too. And then, almost as if you couldn't stop yourself from doing it, you found yourself saying "I see you've arrived unarmed."

There was a long, heavy beat of silence as Steve and Tony stared at you, mouths slightly agape, and you wondered if you'd made a critical error. You were just about to punch yourself in the face and claim you had a concussion and therefore couldn't be held responsible for what you said when Bucky burst into laughter.

It was the most beautiful sound you'd ever heard, and it was contagious. Through your own laughter, you risked a glance up at Steve. He was looking back and forth between you and Bucky, an indiscernible look in his eyes, and you couldn't help but wonder how long it had been since he'd heard his best friend laugh. Hell, you wondered how long it had been since Bucky Barnes had laughed at all.

"Pocket," Tony groaned, palming his face, "that was truly terrible, even for you."

"I'm sorry," you said, trying to catch your breath through your burst of giggles. "It just slipped out-- I couldn’t help it. You know once these things come into my head, they just bounce around in there until they fall out. I didn't mean it."

Steve smiled at you. "So that's what you were snickering at," he said, amused. Damn that enhanced super soldier hearing. Rogers didn't need to be so nosy with it.

You shrugged. "What can I say? Bad jokes are my superpower. Don't be jealous that all you got was super strength and a six pack, Rogers."

Bucky laughed again, then nudged Steve playfully with his elbow. "I like this one, Stevie," he said. "She's funny."

You weren't sure why, exactly, but something in Bucky's words turned your insides into a warm puddle of goo.

Oh, you were going to be in trouble, indeed.

*

The next evening, you were making your way back to your suite after a productive, albeit exhausting, day in your lab. You were working on a crisis prediction real-time monitoring system to anticipate global threats. You were convinced it would allow the Avengers to respond to trouble faster, but perfecting the privacy algorithm had been an absolute pain in the ass, and you still hadn't gotten it quite right. Technically, you could have farmed the project off to a subordinate; hell, even a team of subordinates of a subordinate, but this was one of your pet projects and you insisted on being hands-on in its development.

You had your tablet open as you walked, chewing on your thumb and reviewing the dataset from the run of your latest algorithm model one more time. Closer, but not good enough. If you were going to convince Tony that this was a program worth implementing, especially at its projected cost, everything had to be perfect. "Damn it," you muttered to yourself.

You rounded the corner and ran smack into Bucky's chest, dropping your tablet and causing him to drop the three books he'd been holding under his remaining arm. "Oh, shit-- I'm so sorry," you uttered as you bent down to retrieve the dropped items. Bucky leaned down to assist you, but you waved him off.

"’S my fault; I've got it," you told him, piling up his books for him. "I wasn't paying attention to where I was going. I didn't hurt you, did I?"

Bucky leaned up against the wall and chuckled while you stood up and handed the books back to him. "I doubt you could hurt me," he said, smiling softly. "No offense."

You let out a small laugh. "None taken." He was a super soldier, after all. Stealing a glance at book spines, you couldn't suppress the smile that crossed your face. "Lord of the Rings," you nodded appreciatively. "Have you read them before?"

Bucky looked down at the books tucked under his arm. "No, first time. I read The Hobbit back when it was first published in '37, but these didn't come out until after..." he trailed off, but you knew what he meant. After he'd been abducted and brainwashed, turned into a murderer.

You nodded in understanding. "I'm actually really excited for you," you told him. "What I wouldn't give to be able to read them again for the first time."

"You a Tolkien fan, then?" he asked you. When you nodded, he continued: "When I finish them, maybe we can talk about them sometime? Steve's not really into fantasy."

"Yeah, I'd like that," you said. "If you're interested, we could watch the movies. I'll warn you though; they're long as hell, but their masterpieces. I mean, they didn't need to turn The Hobbit into three separate films, but still, they'll blow your fucking mind."

Bucky ran his tongue over his lower lip and you couldn't help but follow the motion with your eyes. "That sounds like fun," he said, his eyes twinkling with... something. "Your place or mine?" Was he… flirting with you?

"How 'bout you finish the books first, then we'll talk logistics," you teased. "Hey, speaking of, what floor did they end up putting you on?"

"Um, this one, actually," he said, tilting his head toward a nearby door.

"No shit," you remarked, laughingly. "You must have done something to piss Rogers off, because he put you right across the hall from me."

Bucky looked down, scuffing the toe of his boot against the carpeting. "He said it was the quietest floor, thought I'd prefer that."

You pursed your lips, considering. "Yeah, that makes sense; it's just been me on this level for ages. It'll be nice to have some company for a change."

Bucky looked surprised. "Stark's kept you down here all by your lonesome? That doesn't seem very nice."

You shook your head and dismissed his concern with a wave. "Oh, no-- Tony hates that I still live down here, actually. He put in all new living quarters a few years back. Everyone migrated upstairs, but I was the only one who didn't want to move."

"Why's that?" Bucky asked, appearing genuinely interested.

"I've lived here since I graduated college," you admitted, "back when it was still just Stark Tower. When Tony relocated here from Malibu to rebrand it for the Avengers, he wanted to redo everything, which meant fancy new suites for everybody. But I love my rooms, so I asked to stay put. They've been my home for so long now and I guess I just like the stability, you know?"

Bucky nodded thoughtfully. "And Tony thinks highly enough of you that he let the blow to his ego slide?"

You raised an eyebrow. "Maybe I have enough dirt on him that he felt like he didn't have much of a choice." You snorted, not able to keep up the pretense. "No, but seriously, I know you and Tony have a complicated... history, but he's not a bad guy. Ego as tall as this Tower, yes, definitely, but he's also incredibly kind and generous. He paid for my entire college education-- undergrad, post-grad, doctorate. I owe everything I have to him."

Bucky shifted against the wall. "That is pretty generous. And he never expected anything from you in return?" He didn't say the words out loud, but the implication was there. Had you slept with Tony in exchange for your diplomas? The innuendo should have bothered you, but it had been posed to you so many times over the years, you'd stopped being offended by it. Before Pepper, Tony had had quite the  reputation, after all, and an MIT education didn’t exactly come cheap. Most people couldn’t understand why he would offer a full ride to someone who, at the time, had been a complete stranger.

"Tony appreciates talent," you clarified. "When he finds it, he cultivates it, nourishes it, does everything he can to help it grow to its fullest potential. But he does like to get a return on his investments, and my skills have helped him make a lot of money." You shrugged your shoulders with a chuckle. "I love my job, I love the work we do, I love the stupid weirdo family we've built here, so I've always considered meeting Tony to be the best thing that ever happened to me. He's kind of like my own fairy godfather."

"So, what exactly does he have you do around here?" Bucky asked. "I know Steve said you did computer stuff, but you said it was an over-simplification."

You ran a hand up to rub the back of your neck while you considered your answer. How best to explain your position to someone who was born before the invention of the television? "Okay," you exhaled, "so, short answer is that I'm the CTO, the Chief Technology Officer, of Stark Industries and, under that, I run the Avenger’s Technology and Innovation Department. It's sort of our take on Research and Development. I've got a lab where I'm in charge of about 450 scientists, engineers, computer programmers, analysts, et. cetera. And our entire job is coming up with cool new ways of making things easier for the Avengers. Like, new features for suits, developing useful programs, coming up with new defenses and weapons, that kind of thing. And if we've got missions that require heavy computer- or tech-work, I come along for on-site support. I'm combat-trained and good with languages, so that comes in handy in the field. There’s probably a ton of field agents that could go in my place, but for Tony, it’s a matter of trust."

Bucky let out a low, appreciative whistle. "Damn. That's impressive. You're a little intimidating, you know that?"

Laughing, you tucked your tablet under your arm. "Please. I'm about as intimidating as a hamster." You paused to think. "Maybe a hamster with rabies, but still a hamster."

A series of beeps emanated from your tablet. As you pulled it out to check the alert, Bucky moved away from the wall. "I'm so sorry-- you were heading back to your room and I've basically been holding you hostage this entire time."

"Actually," you said, silencing the notification alarm that had distracted you, "That was just a reminder I set for myself to eat. Sometimes I lose track of time in the lab and completely forget to have dinner. Are you hungry? You could join me."

Bucky pulled his head back, regarding you as though he wasn't sure if you were serious.

"Or, if you don't want to, that's cool," you said quickly once you noticed his hesitation. "I mean, you wanted a quiet floor. Annoying neighbor is probably the last--"

"I'd love to," interrupted Bucky with a grin. "I'm just surprised someone like you would want to spend time with someone like me."

"Someone like me? Hey now, for all you know, I could be an absolute trash person," you teased, playfully punching him on the shoulder.

Bucky chuckled, his eyes sparkling with a newfound warmth. "Well, I highly doubt that, but I guess I'll find out soon enough."

"Don't say I didn't warn you when you do." You cocked your head toward the door to your room. "I'm going to change out of my work clothes. While I do, how about you decide what you're in the mood for, and we'll go from there. That sound good?" Bucky nodded as you let yourself into your room. The evening had taken an unexpected turn, but you found you were looking forward to spending more time in the company of Bucky Barnes.

*

Your friendship with Bucky only continued to grow from there. There was something about him, his quiet demeanor, his gentle sense of humor, that made you feel an immediate connection with him, as if you'd known him for ages instead of just a few weeks. You weren't one to open up to others easily; it had taken you over a year to trust that Tony didn't have any ulterior motives for befriending you, but with Bucky, it was effortless, as if you couldn't have stopped it even if you wanted to.

About three weeks into his residency at the Tower, you were exposed to your first instance of one of Bucky's nightmares. He'd told you he frequently had them, but you'd yet to experience one firsthand. You hadn't been able to sleep-- your own losing battle with insomnia--, so you were coming back up from getting a late night snack in the communal kitchen when you heard the muffled shouting coming from behind his door. At first, you were going to ignore it, sure that it was his television, but you heard him utter a single, desperate "Pozhaluysta," the sound of it so heartbreaking that your breath caught in your lungs. Please.

Crossing over to Bucky's door, you knocked softly. "Bucky? It's Pocket. Are you okay? I heard shouting." You waited for an answer... but nothing. Taking a step closer, you put an ear to the door, holding your breath. You could make out the sound of frantic thrashing, cries of "Net!" and then a whimper. He sounded like he was in trouble, like he was in pain.

"FRIDAY," you said to the AI that ran the tower, "open the door."

"I'm sorry, Ms. (Y/L/N), but Sergeant Barnes has locked his door for the evening."

"For fucks' sake, FRIDAY," you muttered. "Enact override protocol 346.78C." There was no point in being the Avenger's resident computer genius if you couldn't hack their home automation system, was there? You heard the click of Bucky's door unlocking. Turning the handle and hoping that asking him for forgiveness was easier than asking for permission, you stepped inside.

It took a moment for your eyes to adjust, but once you were able to make out shapes in the gloom of the darkened suite, you saw that the layout was relatively similar to your own. You made your way over to the bed, expecting to see Bucky writhing on it in the midst of his nightmare, but it was empty, stripped of all bedding, just a bare mattress.

Then you heard him, thrashing from the space between the bed and the wall. You shuffled over to the other side and found the super soldier lying on the floor, tangled in his sheets. A thin sheen of sweat covered his naked torso, a pair of sweat pants riding low on his hips. His face was contorted in agony as his head twisted from side to side.

"Net! Net!" he cried out in Russian, fighting off invisible assailants, "Pozhaluysta, ne nado! Eto bol'no!" No! No! Please, no! It hurts!

It physically pained your heart to see him struggling like this, so you did the first thing that came to mind-- you threw yourself across him, wrapping your arms around his body and holding him in place, whispering back to him in Russian: "Ty v poryadke, ty v poryadke. Ty v bezopasnosti. Nikto ne mozhet prichinit' tebe vred." You're okay, you're okay. You're safe. No one can hurt you. "I've got you, Bucky. You're safe."

It was a long moment before you realized that his thrashing had stopped, his heartbeat had slowed, and he had wrapped his arm around you, holding you to him as if you were a lifeline.

You pulled back, allowing him to sit up.

"Pocket?" he asked, voice laced with confusion at seeing you, as though he wasn't sure if he was actually awake or not. "What are you doing here? And... were you speaking Russian, or was I dreaming?"

Suddenly shy, you tucked a strand of hair behind your ear, avoiding looking at him. Jesus. He literally just woken up to you throwing yourself on top of him. "I-I'm sorry," you stammered. "I was walking by, and it sounded like you were having a nightmare. I was worried, so I came in to check on you. I'll let you go back to sleep. Sorry." You got up to go, but his hand reached out and encircled your wrist, gently holding you in place.

"No," he murmured, pulling you back down to the floor next to him. "You were right, I was having a nightmare. I... I told you I get them, sometimes. Memories, really. Of things Hydra... did to me. Things they... things they made me do. Thank you," he looked up at you, catching your eyes through the darkness and holding your gaze. "Thank you for waking me up, for taking me out of it."

You gulped, the night becoming far more intimate than you could have anticipated when you went downstairs to grab a pint of ice cream earlier. You forced a smile. "Of course. What are friends for?"

"Are we?" he asked, his voice suddenly low, causing a pool of warmth to collect in the bottom of your stomach. "Friends?"

"Of course, Buck." You gave him a concerned look. "Why wouldn't we be?"

"Because I'm a monster, Pocket." Bucky lowered his head in his shame. "I'm a murderer and a monster."

"Oh, Bucky, no." You took his chin into your hands and brushed a strand of hair away from his face. "Sweetie, no, you're not. You were a victim. You didn't consent to a single thing Hydra made you do. I know that it's going to take you a long time to believe that, but it's the truth. I promise you it is." He closed his eyes and nodded.

"Pocket, do you think..." he looked away from you, almost shyly, "do you think you could stay? After a nightmare, I... Well, I don't really like being alone."

"And Rogers isn’t one for midnight cuddling, huh?" you teased, a playful smile on your lips. You couldn't see it, but you could practically feel the sardonic look he was giving you. "I'm kidding, I'm kidding. Yes, I'll stay. But Bucky, I have one rule--"

"I'll keep my hand to myself and be a perfect gentleman, I promise," he said solemnly.

"Pfft," you scoffed. "I don't give a shit about that. Be as handsy as you want. No, my one rule is: I am not sleeping on the fucking floor." Bucky rewarded you with another one of his genuine laughs. You couldn't articulate how happy it made you feel knowing that you were the cause of that laughter.

"You got it," he said, as he stood up and began to move his sheets and pillows back to the bed. "Nothing but the best for you, doll."

Your insides glowed at this new nickname, and you were positive he was going to notice how his words made you light up in the dark. You busied yourself with helping him make up the bed before crawling under the covers. You tried not to be too obvious as you inhaled the scent of Bucky on the pillowcase. He smelled like cedar and leather and something unidentifiable that was just so quintessentially Bucky that it had become your favorite scent. You wanted to bottle it up and use it like a fabric spray so you'd always be surrounded by it. 

The bed dipped as Bucky got in, pulling the covers up over himself. "Thank you for this, Pocket," he whispered.

You turned onto your side to face him. "Of course. Any time, Bucky; I sincerely mean that. I know what it's like; I have them, too."

"You do?" You felt him reach for you in the dark, taking your hand and interlacing his fingers with yours. "You can tell me about them. If you want to."

You nodded, before realizing he probably couldn't see you, so you hummed an affirmative. There was something about the cover of night that made you feel brave, safe in opening up to Bucky; you found yourself wanting to tell him what kept you awake at night. You took a deep breath.

"I... didn't have the best childhood," you began, trying to keep your voice steady. "My father took off before I was old enough to even remember what he looked like, and my mother was always more interested in getting high than she was with being a parent. I was in and out of foster care for a while when I was a little girl." Bucky squeezed your hand in sympathy and you continued: "Then she got this boyfriend, Darren." God, even now, the taste of his name on your tongue was like bitter bile. "For a little while, things were… better. Mom got her shit together enough that Social Services sent me back to live with her. I could almost believe that things were going to be okay. I mean, we even stayed in the same place for more than six months. I went to school regularly. It almost made me feel like a normal kid."

"What happened?" You barely heard Bucky's whispered question. You let out a harsh, disillusioned laugh.

"Puberty," you told him. "I turned eleven, got boobs and suddenly Darren's paying a lot more attention to me." You felt Bucky tense in the bed beside you. "Of course, that's entirely my fault, right?" you continued. "At least according to my mother. They started fighting more often, and she went back to the booze and meth. Stopped giving a shit about everything. Going to work, paying bills, making sure I went to school, whether or not I even ate. Only thing that mattered was where the next fix was going to come from." You took a breath. This next part was the hardest, and Tony was the only one you'd ever told the entire truth of the matter to.

"And with Mom incapacitated, boyfriend feels he's got free reign," Bucky supplied for you.

"Yeah," you swallowed, grateful you hadn't needed to actually say it, yourself.

"Pocket," Bucky began, "that's aw--"

"There's more," you admitted before he could continue. "Darren liked to bet on horses but, like absolutely everything else he ever did, he was complete shit at it. Ended up owing some horrible guys a lot of money. There was no way in hell he'd have been able to come up with it, so he... proposed a trade."

"God," Bucky breathed. "Oh, Pocket. I am so, so sorry."

"Thanks," you said, wishing that was the end of it, but knowing that you still weren't finished. "Darren realized he had a valuable commodity that a, uh, certain kind of man would pay good money for, and he wasn't just going to let such a lucrative income stream go to waste. He was an idiot, but he wasn't that dumb."

Next to you, Bucky sucked in a breath. You could practically feel him vibrating with anger for your younger self. "How long?" he asked through gritted teeth.

"Seven years, more or less. When I turned 18, I grabbed every important document I could get my hands on, hightailed it to Boston and never looked back. But the memories, the nightmares? They still haunt me. Even after all this time, they’ve never fully gone away. So, you know, I get it."

There was silence for a moment, but then Bucky cleared his throat and asked: "Where is he now?"

"He's got himself a nice little plot of land in Pensacola," you said, a smile ghosting your face.

"So, he got off Scott-free." Bucky's voice was a low growl.

"Oh, I didn't say that, you said slyly. "That nice little plot is a pauper's grave at Pensacola Federal Prison Camp. Bastard got himself shanked in the slammer about ten years ago. Happiest day of my fucking life.

Bucky's laugh was low and dry. "What about your mom? Please tell me she got what she deserved, too."

You shifted slightly, propping your head up onto your hand. "Honestly, I have no idea what happened to her. The way she drank, she's probably long dead by now, and I could honestly not care less. That's why I have everyone call me Pocket." Bucky moved to mirror your position, using a pillow to prop himself up instead of an arm, so you were laying eye to eye, only a few inches separating your faces.

"Okay, explain to me how that makes sense," he said, tucking a strand of hair behind your ear, his warm breath fanning pleasantly across your skin.

His touch was gentle and you found yourself subtly leaning into it. "My legal name is (Y/N)," you told him. "It was my mother's name, too. I know that 'Pocket's a ridiculous nickname, but when people call me that, it's like I'm someone else, someone new. I'm not that scared little girl that had all those horrible things happen to her. I'm someone I made myself into." Your voice had dropped to barely a whisper as you admitted it to him.

He studied you for a moment before speaking, voice low. "Thank you for trusting me with this, Pocket." 

You let out a small laugh. "I think we might need to make each other some matching friendship bracelets or something after all of this sharing," you told him. Bucky laughed with you, and the tension that had been hovering in the air lessened. You hadn't meant to get so deep into your personal history, or to get emotional, but sharing your story with Bucky brought you a sense of relief; at the very least, you'd helped take Bucky's mind off of his own nightmares, even if it had meant delving back into your own.

You both fell silent for a moment, and then Bucky spoke again, his voice soft and hesitant. "Pocket, can I ask you something? A favor?"

You looked at him, noticing how his eyes glinted in the dark. "Yeah, of course, Bucky. What's up?"

He swallowed audibly, his grip returning to your hand. "I don't want to overstep or make you uncomfortable, so maybe this is too much to ask, but… do you think…  maybe we could… I don't know… be there for each other? You know, when we have nightmares? Just... hold each other, maybe?"

Your heart skipped a beat at his words, your mind suddenly racing with implications. Was he suggesting what you thought he was suggesting? Did he want to… cuddle with you? Your body was suddenly acutely aware of how close you were to him, of the heat that radiated off of his body. You licked your lips before answering, your voice coming out a little huskier than you intended. "I mean… I wouldn't be opposed to that. If you think it would help, then I'm all for it."

Bucky let out a small sigh of relief, his hand moving to cup your cheek, his thumb rubbing soothing circles. "Thank you, Pocket. You have no idea how much it means to me."

You leaned into his touch, a shiver running down your spine at the gentleness of it. "I think I might. I mean, I don't know exactly what you went through, but I know what it's like to feel scared and alone."

Bucky leaned in, his lips brushing against your forehead as he whispered, "Neither of us have to be alone anymore. We'll be here for each other."

And then, without another word, he wrapped his arm around you, pulling you close to his chest. You could feel the beat of his heart, steady and strong, and the warmth that radiated off of him made you feel safe, taken care of. You wrapped your arms around him in return, feeling a new sense of peace and security you hadn't known in a long, long time. Maybe ever.

*

The next morning, you awoke with Bucky's arm wrapped around your stomach, your back pressed against his chest. Your sleep shirt had ridden up in the night, so his fingers were splayed across your bare skin. Everywhere your flesh touched felt like it was on fire.

"Good morning," he muttered, nuzzling his face into the crook of your neck.

"How'd you even know I was awake?" you croaked sleepily. “I barely moved.”

"Can hear it in the way you breathe," he said, tightening his arm around your middle. "Super soldier hearing."

"Well, that's not creepy." You huffed out a laugh, then made to get up to start your day, but Bucky held you tighter and pulled you even closer to his chest.

"Uh, Buck," you said, slowly, "I kinda need to get up."

"But you're so warm and soft, Pocket," he began running his fingers up and down the meridian of your stomach, eliciting a small shiver from you at the sensation. "Just five more minutes, okay?" You knew this was a bad idea. You knew it. You glanced at the clock. You had a training session with Sam in an hour.

"I guess five minutes wouldn't hurt," you muttered, snuggling back down into the bed.

You were twenty-five minutes late for your session with Sam, but you couldn't find it within yourself to feel bad about it.

You strolled leisurely through the streets of Brooklyn, Bucky’s vibranium arm draped lovingly over your shoulder, his fingers entwined with yours. The morning had been spent running wedding errands—officially as Pepper’s Maid of Honor, but in truth, you were Tony’s errand-running bitch more often than not.

Not that you minded in the least. You’d do anything for Tony Stark (though you’d rather have your arm re-broken than admit it out loud). Spending the day outside in the sunshine with your boyfriend, dropping off the florist deposits, final invitation proofs, and sketches for the life-size chocolate Iron Man Tony had insisted on to the chocolatier, wasn’t a bad trade-off.

“I think the only reason Pepper agreed to that monstrosity in the first place,” Bucky said, licking his fingers clean of the last of the candy samples the chocolatier had sent out the door with you, “is so that she can ceremoniously chop its head off.”

You laughed in agreement. “He better be grateful that thing’s not anatomically correct, then.” You flashed Bucky a mischievous smile. “Who knows what might happen if she gets carried away? Lord knows he’s pissed her off enough times.”

“Don’t go gettin’ any ideas now, doll,” Bucky teased, pulling you closer planting a kiss on the side of your head. “I’ll have to start worryin’ about you choppin’ parts off a chocolate Bucky at our wedding.”

You pulled away, mock disbelief on your face. “Oh, our wedding, huh? Pretty presumptuous for a guy who’s never even properly proposed.”

Bucky grumbled good naturedly, sliding his arm from your shoulder to your waste. “How many times does a guy have to tell his girl he wants to marry her before she takes him seriously?” he asked, tickling your side through the thin fabric of your lavender sundress. 

Squealing, you tried to wriggle free, but he caught you, nuzzling into your neck. “He’s only gotta ask her once” you teased, wrapping your arms around his neck, “if he does it right to begin with.”

“Oh, I’ll do it right,” he promised, his lips brushing yours. “And trust me, doll, when the question comes, you’ll know it’s the real deal.”

You raised a playful brow, glancing pointedly at the empty ring finger on your left hand.. “You keep saying that, and yet…”

Bucky grabbed your hand and quickly pulled it to his mouth, nipping on the inside of your wrist. “Like I said, doll, you gotta trust me.”

The words hit you harder than you expected. Trust him. Once, you thought you’d be able to trust him again, but now…

“You’re serious, aren’t you?” you asked, studying his face. 

Bucky’s smirk softened. “Like a heart attack, sweets.” He hesitated, concern flickering in his eyes. “You still doubt me?” 

“No.” Your voice was quiet, but certain. You jostled into him as someone brushed by, and he steadied you with a hand on your waist. Guiding him off to the side, you leaned against the building, away from the bustling sidewalk.

“No, baby, of course not. I just…” You blew out a puff of air as you took his hands in yours. “Wow. It’s just… Talking about it in the hypothetical’s been one thing, but knowing you’re actually making plans? That’s something else.”

He frowned as he gently extricated his hand from yours and reached up to brush a strand of hair from your face. “Is that a bad thing, doll?”

“It’s a great thing,” you clarified in a breathy whisper, leaning into his touch. “It’s the best thing, I promise. I just… I just don’t want to fuck it up. I’m so scared I’m gonna fuck it up.”

“Doll,” Bucky let out a relieved chuckle as he pulled you into him, wrapping his body so perfectly around yours, as though it had been made to fit. “Don’t you think I’ve already fucked up enough for the both of us? I think we’ve already more than met our fuck-up relationship quota.”

“Stop,” you pleaded, laughing into the hard plains of his chest. “I’m trying to be serious and vulnerable and shit.” 

Bucky’s hands ran comfortingly up and down your spine. “So am I,” he said, his tone warm. “I didn’t deserve a second chance from you, after everything that happened, but you gave me one. I wanna spend the rest of my life making sure you never regret that decision.”

You slipped your hands around his waist under the buttery leather of his jacket and squeezed gently. “I love you,” you told him. “I love you so much, and when you do ask me to marry you, I’m gonna say yes.”

Bucky let out a relieved exhale. “You mean that, doll?” he asked, his voice so soft you almost didn’t hear him. “You’ll marry me? For real?”

“Absolutely,” you leaned back so you could look up at his face. The smile he wore was absolutely breathtaking in its joy. You didn’t think you’d ever seen him look as unabashedly happy as he did in this moment. “Or, at least, I will when you actually propose to me,” you clarified, giving him a mischievous smirk. 

“Oh, shut up,” he said with a groan, leaning down to take your lips in his. The kiss flowed over and through you, warming you from the inside out, until your entire body was tingling with the heat of it, but before you could allow yourself to get caught up in it, a sobering thought came over.

“Oh my god, have you talked to Tony yet?” you asked, gripping the lapels of his jacket. While Tony and Bucky had been playing nice over the last year, you weren’t sure how he would react if he thought the two of you were actually going to get married.

Bucky grinned knowingly. “I didn’t realize you were such an old fashioned girl,” he teased. “Should I negotiate the terms of your dowry while I’m at it? Get us a couple of fat cows and a goat to start our life together?”

You gnawed on your bottom lip in a failing attempt to stave off your grin. “Surely you can convince him to throw in at least one pig with that,” you countered. “I know for a fact you can be very persuasive when you want to be.” You playfully nipped at the juncture of his jaw and his neck.

Bucky slipped his hands between your sundress and the denim jacket you wore, sliding his fingers along the line where the fabric met the skin of your back. “I doubt he’s as susceptible to my powers of persuasion as you are, doll,” he teased.

“Probably not,” you conceded, but your voice turned a bit more serious as you continued to speak: “but he’s the closest thing to actual family I’ve got,” you told him, a whisper of sadness on the edge of your voice. “I’m not saying I want you to, like, ask his permission or anything, because, you know… ew, but I really would like him to be onboard. To be happy for us.”

“Aside from Pepper, there’s no one on this planet more important to Tony than you,” Bucky said reassuringly. “If you’re happy, he’ll be happy. That’s all there is to it.”

“If you’re happy, I’m happy,” you told him, pulling him toward you until there was no space left between you. 

He pressed a kiss to the top of your head. “Then we don’t have anything to worry about,” he said, grinning. “Because I am happy. And I promise, I’ll make sure Tony’s happy, too.”

“Thank you,” you murmured into his chest. You’d had hopes, once, that Bucky and Tony might have been able to forge some kind of relationship– if not one born from any kind of affection, then from at least a mutual love of and respect for you, but that hope had been dashed after you’d gotten shot. 

“I’ll tolerate him for your sake, Kiddo,” he’d said to you when you’d told him you’d decided to work on rebuilding your relationship with Bucky. “But I’m not going to be able to just up and forgive him.”

“You managed to forgive him for your parents, though,” you’d said to him tentatively. “And he wasn’t even the one who pulled the trigger on me.”

Tony’d swallowed his gaze somewhere far away. “Yeah,” he’d said “but he wasn’t in his right mind back then. And they weren’t you.” 

“Not that I wouldn’t mind standing here holding you all day, doll,” Bucky said, taking you from your thoughts after a long moment, “but we’ve got to get to the jeweler’s before they close.”

You stepped back and looked up at him, a wave of panic coming over you that you were sure was noticeable on your face. “I thought you said you were making plans! Not that you had plans! Least of all jewelry store plans!”

“Calm down, sweetheart,” Bucky said, kissing the top of your head with a laugh. “Did you forget that last stop we have to make for Stark?” 

You exhaled, embarrassed at your mini-freakout. In all the talk of a future with Bucky, you’d forgotten the purpose of your current task for Tony– to have his mother’s wedding band set resized for Pepper. The ring was meant to be a surprise, and since you and Pepper wore the same size, you were the perfect stand-in for this little bit of subterfuge. 

“I very much did,” you admitted with a sheepish smile. “What can I say, Barnes? You’ve got me all twitterpated.” 

Bucky pursed his lips, taking your hand and leading you down the sidewalk again. “Doll,” he purred, “you know what you do to me when you use ‘40s slang. We’re in public, for cryin’ out loud.”

“Тебе нравится больше, когда я говорю с тобой на русском?” you asked him, your voice dripping into something sultry. Do you like it better than when I speak Russian to you?

Bucky shook his head, pouting slightly. “Нет, никогда.” No, never.

Arriving at the jeweler’s a few minutes early, you were greeted by a man behind the counter who invited you to browse while the jeweler finished things up on a piece he was currently working on in the back. The place was a hidden gem–an artisan’s studio/showroom run by the grandson designer of Tony’s mother’s ring. From the outside, it was unassuming, but inside, it showcased some of the most exquisite (and undoubtedly expensive) pieces you’d ever seen.

You hummed appreciatively as you traced your fingers over the glass of the display case, admiring the intricate filigree and glittering gemstones. Of course, nothing had a price tag. You’d been in Tony’s orbit long enough to know that if you had to ask, you couldn’t afford it.

“See anything you like?” Bucky’s voice was warm as he rested his chin on your shoulder and wrapped his arms around your waist. “Just, you know, in case I ever wanted to get you a Labor Day present or something.”

You turned to give him a skeptical look. “A Labor Day present?”

“Or something,” he repeated, nudging your cheek with his nose.

You snorted out a laugh that felt entirely out of place among such elegance. “Classy,” he teased, swaying you slightly in his arms.

“Everything’s beautiful,” you admitted with a wistful sigh, “but nothing here feels like me, you know?” Bucky hummed, his chin still on your shoulder. The sound vibrated pleasantly through you. “Yeah,” he agreed. “I get that. You play in Tony’s world, but you don’t live in it.”

“Exactly.” You turned to face him, smiling at how easily he understood you. “It’s like, I’m always gonna see myself as that girl from the trailer park in Ohio. Jewelry, fancy cars, designer clothes… it was all so far out of reach, I never even dreamed of it. It’s not what I grew up wishing for.”

Bucky’s face softened in understanding. Growing up during the Depression, he knew what it was like to see even the basics as unattainable luxuries. “What did you wish for, doll?” His voice was quiet, almost reverent.

You chuckled, though it came out a bit hollow. “Well, aside from the obvious…” Bucky nodded, understanding what you didn’t say–that you wished you hadn’t been trapped and trafficked. “I wanted things like getting a real education; not having to teach myself with whatever books I could get at the library. Being allowed to go to school. Having friends. God, I wanted friends so badly. Getting out and never having to worry about looking over my shoulder again.” 

You exhaled, steadying yourself. “When you’re just trying to survive,” you said, “shit like this doesn’t matter. It’s just stuff.”

Bucky pressed a soft kiss to the top of your forehead, grounding you. “If you had to have one piece of jewelry,” he said, a teasing edge creeping into his voice, “let’s say, a ring, just as a random, hypothetical example with no bearing in actual reality, whatsoever, what would you want it to look like?”

You smiled, happily leaning into the game. “Well, speaking strictly hypothetically,” you said tapping your chin in thought, “I think I’d want something vintage. Antique. Maybe Art Deco.”

Bucky raised an eyebrow. “Really?”

“Why not?” You shrugged, reaching up to tweak his nose. “I happen to have a soft spot for old, worn down things.” 

“I’ll show you old and worn down,” Bucky said, his voice dropping dangerously low. Your heartbeat sped up as you stood on your toes, reaching for him with your lips. 

Before you could connect in what you just knew would be a fiery kiss, Bucky’s phone rang. 

“Fuck,” he murmured, pressing his forehead to yours. “Lemme let it go to voicemail.”

You licked your lips, gently pushing him back. “Answer it,” you told him. “Could be ‘Very Important World Saving Business’. Besides…” You leaned in conspiratorally. “If we got started, we both know it’d only be a matter of minutes before you had me bent over one of these display cases, fucking me raw on top of all these diamonds.”

Bucky swallowed hard, the tips of his ears turning a delightful shade of red. “And now I have to take this outside,” he muttered, retreating with his phone in hand, “because I definitely can’t look at you and talk to someone at the same time with that image in my head.”

You grinned, waving cheerfully as he stepped out the door, his phone already to his ear. Was it mean to tease him so badly? Yes. Did you enjoy the fuck out of seeing him get all worked up? Also, yes.

No sooner had he left than a voice from behind the counter called out to you. “You are the Stark appointment?”

Turning, you found yourself face-to-face with an impossibly handsome olive-skinned man emerging from the back room. Italian, if you had to hazard a guess. He had a messy head of black curls that seemed to keep falling into a pair of hazel eyes with thick, dark lashes that gave him an effortlessly suave air, accentuated by a slightly aquiline nose that looked like it might have been broken once before; and his lips were sensuously full, with a pronounced cupid’s bow that would meet even Hawkeye’s exacting standards. 

You admired him the way you would admire a slice of Tiramisu– it looked positively delicious, and perhaps you would be tempted to take a bite… if you hadn’t already been utterly satiated by the most decadent, rich layered dark chocolate mousse you’d ever hope to have in your entire life. Thank you, but you couldn’t possibly; you had already overindulged.

“Hi, yes.” You extended your hand. “I’m Pocket.” You retrieved the box with Tony’s mother’s ring from your bag. He’d offered to send you with a full security detail but, you figured, if the Winter Soldier couldn’t protect the ring from would-be thieves, nothing could, especially when it was being transported by something he found infinitely more valuable. “I’m here to have this resized.” 

The man ignored the box and took your hand instead. “Marco Palombini,” he offered, his accent rich and lyrical.

“Italiano?” you asked excitedly. It wasn’t very often you had the opportunity to practice this particular language skill set of yours. 

Marco’s eyes lit up. “Sì! La mia famiglia è di Sabina, appena fuori Roma. E la tu?” Yes! My family’s from Sabina, just outside of Rome. Yours?

“Oh, no,” you replied with a laugh. “Sono americana.” I’m American.

“Davvero?” He looked skeptical. Really? “Allora ci sarai stata parecchio, no?” You must have spent a lot of time there, then, yeah?

You shook your head; it was one place your business responsibilities had yet to bring you. “No, non ci sono mai stata. Però ho sempre voluto andarci, soprattutto a Roma.” No, never. But I’ve always wanted to, especially Rome.

Marco’s gaze softened. “Beh, sono sicuro che Tony Stark non negherebbe alla sua fidanzata bella una luna di miele nella Città Eterna.” Well, I’m sure Tony Stark wouldn’t deny his beautiful fiancée a honeymoon in the Eternal City.

“Dio, no!” you snorted. God, no! “Non sono la fidanzata di Tony. Sono qui solo perché io e lei abbiamo la stessa misura di mani.” I’m not Tony’s fiance. I’m just here because she and I have the same sized hands. You opened the box with Tony’s mother’s ring and slid it across the glass countertop, suppressing a laugh at the absurdity of being mistaken for Tony’s betrothed. The thought was hilariously, ludicrously gross.

Marco’s expression lightened considerably as he tilted his head, a sly smile forming. “Beh, non è una fortuna, allora?” he asked, taking your hand and tracing the lines of your palm with his fingers. Well, isn’t that lucky, then?

Before you could politely extract your hand, a familiar, steadying presence loomed behind you. “Everything good, sweets?” Bucky’s voice held a subtle edge, a clear sign of his displeasure at the sight of Marco’s hand lingering on yours.

“Hey, baby,” you said, fighting the smile that threatened to break through at his obvious jealousy. Sliding your free hand around Bucky’s waist, you rested your head against his side, silently reinforcing that you were unmistakingly his. “Mr. Palombini was just about to measure my finger for the resizing.” You flashed Marco a friendly smile and nodded for him to continue.

Marco’s expression faltered briefly at Bucky’s towering presence, but he recovered quickly, resuming his professional demeanor. He retrieved a set of finger-sizing gauges, slipped one onto your finger, and adjusted it a few times to ensure a perfect fit before jotting down notes in his ledger.

“Should take about ten days,” he said briskly. Moving to the register, he typed up a form, signed it, and handed it to you along with a pen. “Sign here and bring your copy when you pick up the ring.”

“Anyone who has the receipt can come pick up the ring, right?” Bucky asked, his tone pointed as he leaned slightly closer to the counter. “It doesn’t necessarily have to be her?”

You pinched his side lightly, though it was a challenge to find anything but solid muscle. “Behave,” you murmured under your breath.

Marco didn’t flinch, handing you the signed receipt with a calm, professional smile that bordered on smug. “No,” he said, his gaze flicking briefly to Bucky. “We will only release the ring to the person who signed the receipt. Company policy.”

Bucky raised an eyebrow as you tucked the receipt into your wallet. “So, you mean to tell me,” he began, “that if Tony Stark himself showed up with his receipt, you wouldn’t give him his own ring back?”

Marco leaned casually against the counter, arms crossed. “We will only release the ring to the person who signed the receipt,” he repeated, his smirk faint but unmistakable.

You rolled your eyes, deciding you’d had enough machismo for one afternoon. “Great,” you said, taking Bucky’s hand in yours. “Let us know when it’s ready, and we’ll be back to pick it up.”

As Bucky held the shop door open for you, Marco’s voice rang out behind you. “Bella donna!” he called, a mischievous lilt in his tone. You glanced over your shoulder to see him wink. “Quando torni, magari potrei interessarti a un tour privato di Roma!” When you come back, maybe I can interest you in a private tour of Rome!

Shaking your head with a mix of exasperation and amusement, you stepped outside, Bucky right behind you.

“What did he say to you?” Bucky asked, his tone deceptively calm.

“Oh, nothing much,” you replied lightly. “Just invited me to run away to Rome with him.”

Bucky frowned as he took your hand in his. “Not funny, doll.”

“I’m totally serious,” you told him. Bucky stopped abruptly in his tracks, pulling you to a halt. “Hey–” you began.” 

“That son of a bitch!” Bucky growled, turning slightly as though he were about to march back inside. “I’m going to–”

“You’re not going to do anything,” you said, gently  tugging on his hand to redirect him forward. “He was being a shameless flirt. He’s Italian. It’s practically in his DNA.” Your attempt at humor didn’t seem to land, judging by the dark look on Bucky’s face. “The only thing that matters,” you added more seriously,  “is that I’m not into it. I’m into you.”

Bucky sighed and ran a hand haphazardly through his hair. “I know, sweets,” he said. “I’m just not…”

“Not used to being the jealous one for a change?” you teased, swinging his hand in yours as you walked. “Trust me, I know, it’s no fun, which is why I’m being nice and not letting you stew in it.”

Bucky huffed, but the corner of his mouth twitched upward. “Well, thanks for that, I guess.”

You grinned, leaning into him as you walked. “You’re welcome, Barnes. Besides, you’re prettier to look at than he is, anyway.”

The small, satisfied smile on Bucky’s face as he pulled you closer was all the reassurance you needed.

You blinked at him, sure you must have misheard his words. “I… what?”

Bucky chuckled softly at the look of confusion in your eyes. “I know it’s not a proper proposal,” he admitted sheepishly, “and I’ll make sure you get one, but, well… yeah, marry me, doll.” 

The expression on his face was so adoring, so open, his words should have melted you right on the spot. Instead, you leapt from his lap and began pacing in front of him, hands fisting through your hair as you tried to calm your breathing. 

“Pocket?” Bucky reached for you, pulling you to a stop in front of him. “Sweetheart, what… what’s wrong? It’s what we both want… isn’t it?”

You knew he was speaking to you, could see his mouth moving, forming words, but you weren’t hearing what he was saying to you now– you could only replay in your head what he had said to you then:

“You don’t have to decide anything right now, sweetheart. I’m not tryin’ pressure you into anything. And I wouldn’t want kids until after we were married for a little bit, anyway. It’s just… somethin’ I’ve been thinkin’ about.”

The words had sounded so sweet then, too, but they’d turned out to be nothing more than pretty lies, spoken to distract you, to keep you from finding out he had slept with someone else, that he had betrayed you. 

You knew it was irrational, that he had gone above and beyond to prove himself, and his commitment, to you, but as your breaths came in increasingly desperate gasps, the only thought that was repeatedly running through your head was What is he trying to distract me from, now? 

Bucky stood up, concern evident across his features as he cupped your face in his hands. “Doll,” he said, his voice filled with unending love and patience as he took you in, “it is what you want, right? Sweets, talk to me.”

You moved your hands to cover his as they rested on your cheeks, your eyes wide and desperate as they sought comfort in his. “Tell me this isn’t like the last time, Buck,” you exhalled. “Promise me, this is nothing like the last time.”

His eyes narrowed in confusion. “The last time? Pocket, what do you– oh.” Revelation dawned on him as he realized what you were referring to, and he shook his head, desperate to dispel the hurt he saw in your eyes. “Oh, Sweets. Oh, fuck, honey, no.” Leaning forward, he pressed a kiss to your forehead, then to each of your eyes, and across your face to punctuate his words. “No, this is nothing like the last time, I promise. Fuck, baby, I am so sorry.” 

He pulled you against his chest and held you, flesh hand running up and down the column of your spine in an effort to stop your hyperventilating. 

“No, Buck,” you hicupped as you got your breathing under control once again, “I’m the one who’s sorry. I just…”

“Hey,” he gently shushed, pulling back from you so he could look you in the eye, “you have nothing to apologize for, doll. Trust me.” He lowered himself back down on the chaise, taking you with him as pulled you into his lap. “I shouldn’t have sprung that on you outta nowhere like that.”

“It’s not that I don’t want to marry you, Buck,” you said as you played with the dog tags around his neck, ear pressed to his chest so you could hear his heartbeat, “because I do. I just…”

“You’re scared I’m gonna fuck up again,” he supplied matter of factly. There was no accusation in his voice, no resentment for your lingering doubts. “That I’m going to hurt you again.”

“I don’t want to be,” you admitted. “I love you more than anything, Bucky. So much that it scares me. I… I couldn’t survive something like that again.” It wasn’t an accusation or an admonishment, but your implication hung clearly in the air between you: you might have been able to forgive, but you were never going to be able to truly forget.

“I’m never gonna stop tryin’ to make it up to you, Sweets,” Bucky offered, and you were so, so grateful for his understanding. “And when I ask you to marry me, for real, you’re gonna know that it’s because I want to sprend the rest of my life with you. Not because I’m hiding something, or afraid I might lose you, but because I wanna be tied to you in every way a man can be, forever. You’re my family, doll, and I’m not making the same mistakes with you twice.”

You closed your eyes and let out a slow exhale, the tension draining from your body at his words. Even before you had broken up last year, marriage hadn’t been something the two of you had discussed– you hadn’t really been together long enough for it to become a serious topic of conversation, but the honest truth of the matter was that you couldn’t imagine spending your life with anyone else. 

And yet…

There was still something he didn’t know, something you’d been keeping from him that might make him completely change his mind about wanting to be with you. You’d had ample opportunities to tell him over the last several months, since you’d learned for ceratain, yet something had always held you back, kept you from sharing it with him– the fear that if he knew, he’d no longer want you.

There was a stunning clarity to the realization in that moment– you were behaving no differently than he had when he had crept back into your bed after sleeping with Carthage. No, you’d not been with someone else; you’d not betrayed him, but you weren’t being honest with him. Like he had when he first brought up getting married all those months ago, you were too afraid of losing him to tell him the truth, to let him make an informed decision. 

And you hated yourself for it.

Sensing a shift in your bearing, Bucky nudged you back to attention with his nose against yours. “What are you thinking, pretty girl?”

You swallowed. “There’s… there’s something I need to tell you, Buck,” you admitted, struggling to keep eye contact. “But I’m scared.”

“Mmmm,” Bucky hummed knowingly. “Does it have to do with what got you so upset, that time we were on the video call?”

You nodded, the skin of your cheek rubbing against the fabric of his shirt.

“I still mean what I said then, doll,” Bucky said, kissing your temple, “you don’t have to tell me anything until you’re ready. I promise you, I’m not going anywhere.”

God, you hoped that would still be the case when you finally did get the courage to tell him.

“I want you to know,” you admitted, some of the anxiety leaking out of you with how understanding he was being. “I do. I just… I don’t know how to. Not yet, anyway.”

He brushed the hair back from your face and cupped the back of your head in his large hand. “That’s okay. Wait until you do know. I never want you to feel like I’m forcing you to do something you’re not one hundred percent comfortable doing. I’m done putting you in those kinds of positions.”

You let out a contented sigh. “I’m so lucky to have you, you know that, right?” you asked him.

Bucky smiled. “Nah, Sweets– I’m the lucky one. I never used to believe in luck before, but now, I think about all the things in my life that had to go just so in order to bring me to you, in order for you to give me this second chance, and I think I must be the luckiest man alive.”

Wrapping your arms around his midsection, you let yourself snuggle further into his broad chest. As far as you were concerned, you were both the lucky ones, to have come together, despite all the odds stacked against you. 

You just hoped that, once he learned the truth, he still felt the same way.

Laying on the chaise lounge on the apartment terrace, you lazily ran your fingers through Bucky’s soft hair as he rested his head against you. The two of you were taking the rare break in your busy schedules to enjoy some quiet reading time– you had finally convinced Bucky to read To Kill a Mockingbird after trying to (poorly, in your opinion, but you were a science nerd, not a literary major) explain how it was the most important piece of American Literature ever written. He’d argued with you, firmly stating that title belonged to The Jungle, and while you didn’t discount the importance of Upton Sinclair’s work, you failed to see how he could make the distinction when he’d missed out on almost one hundred years of The Great American Novel. 

He’d only conceded to giving it a chance once you promised to reread it along with him, so you could discuss it together and now, here you were, enjoying the cool breeze that came in off the Hudson that cut through the late Summer heat, letting your imagination wander along with the adventures of Scout, Jem, and Dill. 

“Gotta say, sweets,” Bucky said absentmindedly as he turned a page, “kinda surprised you love this book so much. Over a hundred pages in and nobody’s having sex; doesn’t seem like your kinda story.”

“Shut up,” you chastised him, playfully tugging on a strand of his chestnut locks. “Not all my interests are smut-related, thank you.”

“Coulda fooled me,” Bucky chuckled as he stroked his fingers along your thigh where it rested next to his side. “Always such a dirty mind to go with that dirty mouth.”

You tried to suppress the shiver that went through your body at his touch, but it was like trying to keep the sun’s rays from warming your skin– impossible. He was already lying between your legs on the chaise while you read, his head resting comfortably on the soft curve of your stomach, his vibranium arm propped posessively over your knee. 

“Behave,” you warned him, though your voice didn’t hold any real heat. “We’re supposed to be reading.” You both knew that, if Bucky really wanted to distract you from the book in favor of other more… intimate activities, it wouldn’t take much work for him to do so, and you wouldn’t even be mad about it. 

Though you couldn’t see it from the way you were laying, you could easily picture the smirk that was gracing his face in your mind’s eye. “Okay, okay,” he conceded. “I’ll be good, I promise.” 

You wanted to believe him, but the way he kept teasing you by drawing soft patterns on the skin of your leg with his fingertips told you otherwise. You’d tried to ignore him, but you were only human. 

“Bucky,” you groaned in frustration as his fingers climbed ever higher along the outside of your thigh. “You are not playing fair!”

Bucky tilted his head back so he could look at you. “Whaddaya mean, doll?” he asked, his face the picture of innocence. “I’m just readin’ my book. Not m’fault, you’re so sensitive.”

You rolled your eyes at him; you were minutes away from just tossing the book to the ground and locking your legs around him, and you knew he knew it, too.

Before you could make a move, though, your phone began pinging with incoming alerts, one after the other, in a seemingly neverending barage of notitifcations. You frowned as you both turned to stare at the device where it sat on the coffee table. 

“Who’s textin’ you like a crazy person?” Bucky asked, slowly sitting up between your legs to look back at you.

You shook your head and frowned. “That’s not my text tone,” you told him. “That’s my Google Alerts notification.”

Bucky’s brow furrowed and he leaned forward, picking your phone up from the table. “May I?” he asked, inclining his head toward it. 

“Please,” you nodded, granting him permission to unlock your phone and check the notifications as you sat up straighter, pulling your knees against your chest.

Bucky quickly tapped in your passcode and began scanning the screen. You were grateful he’d taken the initiative to look for you– there was only one thing you’d ever set a Google Alert for: your own name, and every time you received one, your heart would stop in your chest, convinced that this time, someone would have uncovered the truth about your abusive past and the horrible things that had been done to you as a child.

You weren’t ashamed of what you’d endured. No, the years of sexual assualt you’d suffered at the hands of your mother’s boyfriend and the men he pimped you out to had made you stronger, given you courage, tenacity, drive to make something of yourself, but the secrets of your past were yours to divulge at your discretion, and you’d lived under a constant cloud of fear that one day, the choice of who to share that information with would be taken from you.

After a moment, Bucky sighed and held out the phone to you. “I’m sorry, sweetheart,” he said softly, and you felt your heart seize in your chest. “Looks like we’ve finally been found out.”

With a confused frown, you took the phone from Bucky and glanced down at the screen. You were suddenly hit with the wildest sense of deja vu as you read the headlines that filled the page, and you weren’t sure if you wanted to laugh at how you’d worried over nothing, or cry over the memories the headlines invoked:

Cold War Love Affair: Winter Soldier Caught in Scandalous Romance with Stark Exec!

Winter Soldier’s Shocking Romance: Bucky Barnes Steals Cap's Flame, Sparks Fly at Avengers’ Tower!

Captain America Left in the Cold? Winter Soldier Spotted Getting Cozy with Stark Industries CTO!

Is Bucky Barnes Breaking the Bro Code? Winter Soldier Moves In on Captain America’s Girl!

Demotion in Rank? Stark Industry’s Tech Queen Downgrades from Captain to Sergeant!

Winter Soldier & Stark's Leading Lady: Romance Heats Up Between Avengers' Baddest and Brightest!

You ended up breathing out a relieved laugh. Your past remained behind closed doors, exactly where you wanted it to stay and, unlike the last time you found yourself the subject of tabloid fodder, at least you were being romantically linked to the right man for a change. Granted, you could have done without the implication that you and Steve had any sort of romantic history, but you’d take what you could get when it came to these vultures.

Bucky, however, looked like he was about to be sick.

“Baby?” you asked tentatively as you put the phone down and picked up his hand. “Are you okay? Why do you look so upset?”

Bucky exhaled loudly and looked up at you through his lashes. “I’m so sorry, Pocket,” he said softly.

You looked at him, baffled by his demeanor. “Sorry? Buck… what on earth do you have to be sorry about? So people finally found out about us– so what? It’s not like we were ever keeping us a secret.”

“I know,” he sighed, running his hands through his hair, “but this…” he nodded toward the phone, “this can’t be good for your reputation. I can’t be good for your reputation.”

“Fuck my reputation,” you scoffed playfully, picking up the phone as you began looking through the headlines again. “Baby, the only people who’s opinions of me I give a shit about are you and the people who live in the Tower. I couldn’t possibly care less what the general public thinks of me. We don’t owe them anything. We don’t belong to them.” 

Bucky gave you a look as though you were being incredibly naive. “Sweetheart, people hate me. They wanna see me locked away for the rest of my life for the things I’ve done. They’re gonna look at you, and they’re not gonna see the brilliant, amazing woman that you are. They’re gonna see someone willing to date a monster. And they’re gonna judge you for it. They’re gonna treat you differently because of it, punish you for loving me, and I’m so sorry for that.”

You barked out an unintended laugh as you reviewed the comments on one of the articles. “Baby, I don’t think you have to worry about that.” He looked at you with a puzzled expression. “Oh, they definitely seem to hate me, alright,” you added, turning the phone back for him to look at, “but it’s not for the reasons you think.”

He curiously took the phone from your hands and scrolled through the comments, his face growing more and more angry as he read: bbarneslover: Ugh, how does she land Bucky Barnes? She's literally just… a nerd. → makemehowlcommando: Wow, really? Her? Guess even superheroes lower their standards sometimes.       → bbarneslover: I could treat him way better. What does she even have that the rest of us don't?

→ wintersoldierwifu: How much ya’ll wanna bet it’s just a PR stunt?!

→ hydrahottie4bucky: She better watch out. Bucky deserves someone who actually appreciates him—not someone chasing clout who fucked his best friend! → wokeupwithbucky: I can’t believe Bucky would fall for someone like her! It should be me! →hydrahottie4bucky: She’s only with him because of the Avengers connection, not because she cares about him! → bucky’snaughtynightmare: She couldn’t care less about Bucky’s trauma. She’s just after the Avengers clout, obviously. → barnesinmybedroom: Bitch probably doesn’t even understand Bucky's past like real fans do!

→ bucky'snaughtynightmare: First Captain America, now Bucky? I don’t want to call slut, but… → bbarneslover: Girl’s out here collecting Avengers like Pokémon. We all know the rumors about her and Tony Stark. → bucky’snaughtynightmare: Pathetic. What, is there some “Collect All Avengers” achievement we don’t know about?

→ barnesridesmerough: I’m sorry, but how does a glorified IT girl snag two Avengers? Must be some kind of tech magic.     → bucky’snaughtynightmare: Magic tech vagina, maybe.

→ makemehowlcommando: She’s just Cap’s leftovers. Bucky deserves so much better than some sloppy seconds! → bucky’sbadgirl: It’s obviously a attention thing for her. Can’t believe Bucky’s falling for this! → barnesridesmerough: I give it a month before he comes to his senses and dumps her. She’s not right for him! → makemehowlcommando: LOL, she won’t last a week. He’ll get bored and dump her for someone interesting. → barnesridesmerough: From your lips to Bucky’s ears! Ugh, this girl sucks!

→ brooklynbadboylover: Daddy? Sorry. Daddy? Sorry. Why does he make me so feral?! → bucky’sbadgirl: He could choke me out any day. Either with his arm or his dick, idc… → darkchocolate78: Ya’ll need Jesus. Besides. I think they're cute together.

The scowl on Bucky’s face was almost adorable as you watched him grow offended on your behalf. “How do we get them to take this stuff down?” he asked you. 

You gently took the phone back from him and began typing away at the comments section. “Not really much we can do about it, Buckaroo,” you told him. “Once it’s on the internet, it’s pretty much forever.

Bucky frowned at your lack of concern. “I’m not just gonna sit back and let a bunch of strangers talk shit about you like that, Pocket.”

“I’ve heard much worse, trust me,” you said with a shrug. “Besides, why should I be mad when they’re just jealous? I can’t blame them. You’re fucking delicious. I feel sorry for them for not being me.” You quirked an eyebrow at him over your phone, trying to be playful, but he wasn’t having it. You snorted as you finished typing. “Besides, I’m not doing ‘nothing.’” You grinned as you turned your phone back to him so he could see what you just typed. → BuckyBarnesFucker69: Oh, I’m sure she sucks alright… like a fucking Hoover. Probably the only reason he’s kept her around as long as he has. Only thing a mouth like that is good for. “Pocket, this…” Bucky spluttered, “this is awful! I—” He stopped and turned to look at you as you started laughing maniacally. His gaze went between you and the comment in front of him, then back again. “You’re BuckyBarnesFucker69, aren’t you?”

You bit your lip, trying to fight the grin that was desperate to escape across your face. “Mayyyyybee,” you offered mischieviously. 

Bucky glared at you, a combination of confusion and frustration clouding his features. “Why the fuck would you play into this?” he asked. “It’s like… you’re letting them bully you.”

His indignance on your behalf warmed your heart and you scooted closer to him to wrap your arms around his neck. “It’s very sexy that you want to defend my honor, Buck,” you said, pressing your lips to the stubble on his cheek. “But you don’t have to worry about it– I’m in on the joke, now. They think they’re laughing at me, but they don’t realize they’re actually laughing with me. So, I win.”

Bucky’s gaze was skeptical as studied your face. “You’re certifiable. You realize that, right?” he asked eventually, a slight smile pulling at the edge of his lips. 

“Uh huh,” you agreed with an enthusiastic nod. “But you love my brand of crazy.”

Bucky sighed dramatically. “God help me, I do,” he said, pulling you down into his lap. He brushed a strand of hair away from your face before his gaze turned serious again. “Are you sure this is all okay, though, doll?” he asked.

You repositioned yourself on his lap, straddling his thighs as you turned to face him. “I’m sure,” you told him. “I know it’s hard for you to believe sometimes, but I’m proud to be your girl, Bucky Barnes. I don’t care if the whole world knows it. Fuck, I want them to know it. I want them to look at you and see the man I see, every time. To see all the good things about you that I love so much.”

Bucky’s gaze turned soft as he stroked your cheek with his flesh thumb. “And what are all the good things you love about me?”

You pulled back slightly, giving him a wary look. “Oh, fishing for compliments now, are we?” you teased.

The grin he gave you was enough to light a fire low in your belly. “Maybe one or two,” he admitted cheekily. 

“You have a magic dick,” you told him with a grin. Your natural instinct was to make a joke of it, and you thought you were going to keep going in that vein, but in the moment, you suddenly felt the need to be serious, to be honest with him. “You’re a good man. Even after everything you’ve been through, you still try. No one would ever fault you if you just threw in the towel and said ‘fuck it, I’m done,’ but that’s not who you are. You keep fighting, even when you don’t have to, but you do it because it’s the right thing to do. You do it so that other people won’t suffer the way you were made to suffer. 

“You make me laugh, Bucky. You’re warm, and kind, and yeah, you occasionally fuck up sometimes, but you learn from it. You’re always striving to be a better version of yourself, and you make me want to be a better version of myself, too. You–” you had to pause to clear your throat. Somewhere along the way, you realized you’d started getting worked up with emotion. 

“You’re the best friend I’ve ever had. I know… I know I’m not always an easy person to love. I know I have my issues, and a lot of guys would have looked at all my damage and probably just run in the opposite direction, but not you. You’ve never been anything but patient and loving and gentle with me.” You choked back a soft sob. “I never thought anyone would ever be able to love me, with my history and my baggage, but there you were. And baby, you love me better than I could have ever even wished for, because despite everything you’ve been through, you have such a big heart. And that’s what I love about you the most– they put you through hell, and you’d be well within your rights to turn your back on the entire fucking planet, but you don’t. You choose to save it. Every damned day, you make the choice to be a good man. And I fucking love you for it.” 

You sniffed and wiped at your face, your hand coming away wet with tears. “Shit,” you laughed, embarrassed at the way your emotions had taken over. “Was not planning on going full-drama on you. Should have just stuck with the ‘magic dick’ part. Sorry.”

Bucky was silent as you regained your composure, looking at you with an intensity that unnerved you.

“Say something, Buck," you chuckled in an awkward attempt to relieve the tension you felt under his gaze, "otherwise I’m going to think I embarrassed myself right out of this relationship.” You weren’t sure what you wanted him to say to you– just reassure you hadn’t made a complete fool of yourself in front of him, you supposed, but when he opened his mouth, he took you completely by surprise.

“Marry me.”

When you had first packed for the weekend getaway, the weather forecast had called for nothing but rain and stormy conditions, and you had almost left your vibrant yellow bikini behind, certain that there would be no opportunity to don it. However, Bucky had insisted that you bring it along, and now you were endlessly grateful that you had heeded his advice, eagerly anticipating the chance to join him in soaking up the unexpected sunshine.

As you emerged from the pool, the cool, refreshing water droplets glistening on your skin, you couldn't help but marvel at the unseasonably warm weather. The sun's golden rays felt almost soothing against your unclad flesh, a stark contrast to the chill of the pool you had just left. With a towel wrapped snugly around your waist, you cast a playful, impish glance over at Bucky, who hadn't moved from his reclined position on the nearby lounge chair, sunglasses perched on his nose. A mischievous smirk crept across your lips as you bent down and scooped up a handful of the chlorinated pool water, your fingertips lightly skimming the surface. Carefully, you tiptoed over to where Bucky lay, the water sloshing gently in your cupped palms. 

Though his eyes were shielded by dark lenses, you knew Bucky's heightened senses were ever alert, a byproduct of his turbulent past living in fear - whether under HYDRA's control or on the run. Sure enough, as you neared him, one of Bucky's eyes snapped open, his body instantly tensing, ready to spring into action at the first sign of perceived danger. But when he saw it was merely you, a playful glint in your eye and a splash of water in your hands, his posture relaxed, and he sat up, the sunglasses sliding down his nose as he fixed you with a playful glare, silently daring you to make your move.

“Whatcha doin’ there, doll?”

You flicked the remaining water droplets in your hand at him but they barely reached his bare chest.

“That the best you got?” he taunted, his piercing gaze daring you to try again.

“Not even close,” you replied with a mischievous grin, letting the towel slip just slightly as you pretended to consider your next move.

Bucky raised a single, dark eyebrow, his playful glare still firmly in place. “You think you can just come at me with that pathetic splash? I’d be ashamed if I were you,” he goaded, his deep, rumbling voice sending a shiver down your spine.

Unable to resist the challenge, you let out a bright, carefree laugh that seemed to dance in the air around you. “Oh really? Is that a challenge, Barnes?” you retorted, your eyes sparkling with mischief as you prepared to retaliate, the tension between you electric.

“Depends on what your idea of a challenge is. Because if it involves getting me wet, you might just succeed.” He smirked, leaning back slightly as if preparing for something.

You laughed, sitting down beside him, letting your wet skin rub against his as you rubbed the towel along your arms. “Do my sunscreen?” you asked, looking over your shoulder at him and batting your eyelids coquettishly.

Bucky raised an eyebrow, the corner of his mouth quirking up as he shuffled closer. “Sunscreen, huh? You sure that's all you need me for?” he asked huskily.

He was halfway through a playful eye roll when your hands moved to the back of your neck, swiftly undoing the halterneck string of your bikini top to reveal your soft breasts. “Don’t want to risk getting tan lines,” you smirked at his widening eyes.

“Of course not,” he mumbled, shaking his head at your antics.

“So you gonna help me or not?”

“Get over here.” He wrapped his arm around your waist and hoisted you into his lap. With his flesh arm he flicked open the bottle of sunscreen, making the same popping sound that you associated with him opening a bottle of lube and you felt a shiver through your body, your skin erupting in goosebumps.

Bucky noticed immediately, there wasn’t anything he missed when it came to your body’s responses. “Cold?” he smirked.

A soft gasp escaped your lips as Bucky pulled you closer, his chest pressed flush against your back, his breath tickling the nape of your neck. Despite the warm fall air, a shiver of anticipation still rippled down your spine at the feel of his body against yours.

“N-No,” you breathed out, your voice a breathless whisper. “Just a bit… sensitive.”

Bucky's eyes darkened further, a wicked smirk playing on his lips as he felt your shiver and heard the huskiness in your voice. He knew the effect he had on you, and he loved it.

He leaned in, his voice low and deep, his lips brushing the shell of your ear as he spoke. "Sensitive, hmm?" he murmured, his breath hot against your skin. One of his hands drifted downwards, tracing a slow, tortuous path along your bare hip.

"Mmm, don't forget the front," you moaned.

Bucky's smirk grew even more wicked at the sound of your moan, his chest rumbling with a low, appreciative growl. He shifted you in his lap so that you were straddling him, your legs on either side of his hips, giving him full access to your front.

He leaned back, the sunlight casting a glow around his head like a halo, his eyes roving hungrily over your body, taking in every inch of bare skin.

"Are you just going to sit and stare? Or you want me to get burned?”

Bucky chuckled, his eyes sparkling with mischief as he met your gaze, his hands still resting on your hips.

"Patience, doll. I'm just admiring the view," he teased, his thumbs rubbing gentle circles on your hips, sending prickling shivers through your body.

Slowly, he began to apply the sunscreen on your torso, his hands moving in sensual, deliberate circles, covering every inch of your skin in the creamy liquid.

Bucky's hands slowed as they reached the curves of your breasts, his palms hovering mere inches away, as if reluctant to touch them just yet. His eyes locked onto yours, his gaze dark and hungry. He swallowed hard, his breath coming out in a shaky exhale.

"You don't know how hard it is to keep my hands off you, doll," he murmured, his voice gruff, his hands slowly moving closer, his thumbs just barely brushing against the swell of your tits.

You leaned forward so your hardened nipples grazed his chest. "Who said you had to?”

Bucky's breath hitched at the feel of your nipples gliding across his chest, a low, guttural moan rumbled in his throat. He shifted his hips, his growing hardness pressing against you through the thin fabric of his swim trunks.

"Mmm, doll. You're a damn tease, you know that?" he panted, his fingers digging into your hips, his thumbs still brushing against your sensitive skin, teasing but not quite touching where you wanted.

"Who's teasing?" You asked innocently, pushing your ass down into the growing bulge in his trunks.

Bucky's eyes darkened, his expression shifting from playful to downright feral, the veins in his arms bulging as his muscles tensed. He let out a growl, his voice deep and strained.

"Oh, you're playing with fire now doll," he warned, his hands gripping your hips tighter, his body quivering with barely restrained desire. He bit his lip, trying to hold back, but it was taking all his willpower not to throw you down onto the lounger and take you right then and there.

"The only fire I'm feeling right now is that giant ball in the sky that's unevenly tanning my boobs right now," you pouted.

Bucky let out another soft growl.

"Aww, did I make you mad?" You put on a baby voice.

Bucky huffed out a sardonic laugh, his fingers absently tracing patterns on your hip. He was far too distracted by the feel of your body on top of his to be truly angry.

"Mad? Nah, doll. Just struggling to control myself with you being so damn frisky right now." He raised an eyebrow, his eyes locking onto yours, the heat in his gaze undeniable. "Question is, what’re you gonna do about it?”

"Want me to kiss it better?" You leaned forward with pouty lips.

Bucky's eyes darkened at the sight of your pouting lips, his resolve slowly crumbling. This teasing game you were playing was getting torturous, but damn if he wasn't loving it. He reached up, his hand cupping your chin, his thumb tracing along your lower lip.

"Mmm, I think I might need a little more than just a kiss, doll. You're being a brat and you know it.”

"Ask nicely.”

Bucky bit his lip, his breathing growing heavier as your defiance only seemed to fuel his desire. His hand threaded through your hair, pulling you closer until your faces were mere inches apart.

"Please, doll," he said huskily, his voice low and thick with lust. "Stop being such a damn tease and let me have you.”

"Only if you're good, Sarge." You bit your lip seductively.

Bucky's breath hitched at the sound of the nickname, a low moan rumbling in his chest. You knew how much he loved it when you called him that, and the effect it had on him was always immediate.

"Doll, you know damn well I'm always good," he said huskily, his eyes locked on your lips as you bit them seductively, his hand in your hair gently pulling your head back, exposing your neck. "But today, you're going to need to follow my orders.”

Your walls fluttered with excitement at his words and you bit back a moan.

Bucky smirked at the reaction he saw in your eyes, his gaze raking over your body possessively. He could see the effect his words had on you, and it only made him more possessive. He knew your weakness, just like you knew his.

"So obedient," he murmured, his mouth hovering over your neck, his lips just barely grazing your skin. "But I want to hear you say it. What’s the safe word?”

You whined against his ear, wiggling your ass in his lap. "Oklahoma.”

Bucky let out a harsh breath, his eyes fluttering closed for just a second as your body moved against his in his lap. He took a moment to collect himself before opening his eyes, a smug look on his face as he looked at you.

"Good girl," he praised, his lips finally claiming your neck, his mouth hot against your skin. "Now, why don't you get on your knees and show me how good you can be for me?”

"No, thank you.”

Bucky's eyes widened slightly at your defiant reply. No one disobeyed him, especially not when he had laid out clear instructions.

He chuckled, but there was an edge to it, a hint of a warning.

"Doll, you can’t be defying my orders already. I know you know the punishment for being a disobedient little brat. Is that what you want? A reminder of who’s in charge here?”

"You're so cute when you try and control me, even though we both know that I'm in charge," you smirked.

A deep rumble left Bucky's throat at your words. He knew you were playing, pushing his buttons and testing his patience, but it was getting harder and harder to hold back.

"Oh really, doll? You think you're in charge?" he purred, his eyes darkening as he held your gaze, his hands gripping your hips tightly.

"Maybe I need to remind you who you belong to.”

"Do it, I dare you.”

Bucky's eyes flashed with a predatory gleam at your challenge. It was as if you were dangling a steak in front of a lion, and expecting it not to pounce. You were playing with fire, and he was itching to teach you a lesson.

In a swift, fluid movement, Bucky shifted your position on his lap so that you were lying back on the lounger. He hovered over you, his body pressed against yours, trapping you beneath him.

"Oh doll, I'm gonna do more than just remind you," he growled. "You're gonna do as you're told.”

"Yeah?" you asked breathily.

Bucky smirked at the breathlessness in your voice. It was clear that you were already affected, your body responding to his proximity, his touch. He brought his face closer to yours, his lips hovering just millimeters from your ear. His voice was rough and low, carrying a threat that made your heart skip.

"Yep. I'm gonna teach you a damn lesson in obedience, doll. And you're gonna love every second of it.”

"Oh, am I?”

Bucky leaned back to look at you, his eyes raking over your body, taking in your flushed cheeks and heavy breathing. He could see the effect he was having on you, and it only served to make him more confident.

"Damn right you are," he said, his voice a low rumble. "I can see it in your eyes, doll. You love it when I get all dominant, when I take charge. And I love it when I have you all submissive and pliant, begging for more.”

You could only whimper in response, your body consumed by the arousal and promise of his cock.

Bucky smirked, noticing your inability to form a response. He could easily see how turned on you were, how badly you wanted him to take you. His eyes darkened with a mixture of lust and satisfaction. Slowly and sensually he rolled his hips against your core.

"See, doll? You can try to play the brat, but deep down, you know what you want. You want me to be in charge, to take control and make you feel good. And that's exactly what I'm gonna do.”

"Good luck... with... that." You wanted to continue with your little game but his proximity had your resolve faltering. 

Bucky chuckled at your attempt to keep up this charade, but he could see that your resolve was weakening. Your body was responding to his proximity, betraying your act of nonchalance.

He leaned down, his lips grazing your ear, his breath hot against your skin.

"Doll, you forget who you're dealing with," he murmured. "I've got you all figured out, and I know all your weaknesses. You can try to resist, but deep down I know you're craving my touch, begging for it, in fact.”

"So what are you gonna do about it?" you challenged softly.

Bucky's eyes darkened at your challenge, his smile turning into a predatory grin. He knew damn well what he was going to do, and he was aching to show you just how in control he was.

"Oh doll, don't tempt me," he warned, his voice low and husky. "I can think of plenty of things I could do to a disobedient little brat like you. But I think you'll find it hard to keep up this act when I've got you pleading and begging.”

"Oh please, I can do this all day.”

Bucky chuckled at your defiant words, taking in your flushed cheeks and breathless state. He could see the effect he was having on you, the way your body was responding to him, even as you tried to keep up your act.

"Is that so, doll?" he taunted. "You think you can keep this up all day, huh? We'll just see about that.”

For the first time since you started this game, you held your tongue. You welcomed whatever punishment he had in store for you... you craved it.

Bucky smirked at your sudden silence, sensing the shift in your attitude. It was clear that you were finally submitting to him, and he loved it. He could see the desire in your eyes, the need for him to take control and give you what you wanted.

"Looks like someone finally realized who's in charge," he murmured, his hands roaming over your body, tracing gentle patterns on your skin, his touch both soothing and dominating.

"Ready to be a good girl and do as you're told?”

"No," you breathed softly.

Bucky chuckled at your persistence in playing this game, his eyes darkening with a mixture of annoyance and desire. He knew you were testing his limits, seeing how far you could push him before he snapped.

"What do you mean, no? If I want my dick in your mouth, it's going in your mouth whether you like it or not.”

You shuddered with anticipation. Of course, you wanted his dick in your mouth. Bucky smirked, noticing the shiver that ran through your body. He could see the desire in your eyes, the way your tongue darted out to moisten your lips, betraying your own need for him.

"I see that got your attention," he murmured. "You want me to use that pretty mouth of yours, don't you?”

You struggled slightly under his weight. Bucky laughed at your attempts to move under him, the sound deep and throaty. He knew he had you right where he wanted you, trapped beneath him. 

"Struggle all you want, but you're not going anywhere until you're dripping with my cum.”

Bucky chuckled at the pout on your lips, but he allowed you to prop yourself up on the lounger, his knees still trapping your hips on either side. The position he had you in was intimate, his cock was almost pressed against your face, his eyes locked on yours, his hands resting on either side of your shoulders, caging you in.

Bucky loved having you like this, so vulnerable beneath him but his body completely at your mercy.

Bucky's eyes darkened as he watched you lick your lips, the gesture driving him wild. He could see the need in your eyes.

"You want it, don't you?" he asked, his voice heavy with desire.

"Only because you want it so bad," you smirked, your eyes roving over his throbbing length. He had pulled it out of his swim trunks, the veins full and pulsating readily. "Look at you, can't wait, can you? Need my lips around your pretty cock?”

Bucky nearly lost his breath at your words, his body shuddering with need. You knew just how to play him, how to push all his buttons.

"Damn doll," he groaned, his voice ragged with desire, momentarily forgetting his character. "You talk like that, and you're gonna make me lose control. But yes, I need your lips. I need your mouth on me. I need you, doll.”

You softened a little, wanting to give in without a fight, to give him what he craved. But a tiny voice in your mind reminded you that this would be so much more fun.

A slow smirk formed on your lips. "Make me," you said with as much defiance as you could muster.

Bucky's eyes darkened with annoyance and desire at your disobedience once again. He loved the challenge. The way you tested him pushed him to the edge, but it was hard to hold back when you were so goddamn sexy.

"Oh doll, are you really gonna push me like that?" he gritted out, his voice strained as his hands clenched into fists at his sides. Slowly, he reached out and made a fist in your hair and moved your face right up to his with his firm grip. "Head back, mouth open, tongue out... now.”

Slowly but petulantly, you complied, letting him slide his head onto your tongue. Sensually, you rolled it around the edge before kissing the tip. You loved seeing the way his muscles contracted with pleasure.

Bucky's head fell back slightly, his eyes fluttering shut momentarily, a moment of ecstacy coursing through him.

"That's it, that's my good girl. Now you remember what to do if it's too much?”

You nodded, tapping his thigh three times, making him praise you again. You took him into your mouth again, lips forming an O. Narrowing your eyes, you looked up at him with a hint of rebelliousness and daring.

Bucky's eyes darkened at your gaze, his breath hitching in his chest. He wasn't used to anyone giving him this level of sass, and it was driving him crazy. 

"I see you're still feeling mouthy. Looks like I'll have to find a way to keep that pretty little mouth of yours occupied.”

You decided to show him how mouthy you could be, letting him slip further into your mouth.

Bucky's head slumped back, his breath coming in short bursts as you teased him. Damn, you were so damn good at this, and it was driving him wild.

"That's it, doll. Just like that, that's my girl. You know just what I like.”

You tried to answer him, but you couldn't form any coherent words with the way he filled your mouth.

"What's that, doll?" he chuckled despite his ragged breath, a hint of pride in his voice. He loved making you speechless, especially with your mouth full of him.

"Can't talk now, can you? You look so pretty with your mouth all full.”

You moaned, sending vibrations straight up his aching cock. The way he tasted always turned you on and your pussy was begging for attention. You squeezed your legs together to offer yourself some relief from the throbbing between your thighs.

Bucky groaned, your moans resonating through him, shooting straight through his body. It was like a jolt of electricity to his nerves, and he had to grit his teeth to keep control. 

"Ah darlin’, you know how that mouth of yours is affecting me," he breathed out, his eyes darting down to your squirming form. "Damn doll, you look like you're aching for something.”

Finally, you sank down all the way, your nose brushing the short strands of hair on his skin for a moment before pulling off with a gasp, a long string of spit connecting your lips to the tip of his cock.

Bucky could hardly think straight with the way you were working him over. It was a good thing he was sitting down because he wasn't sure if he'd be able to stand right now. 

"Damn doll," he breathed. "That mouth of yours is something else. But did I tell you you could stop?”

"It's my turn, Sarge.”

Bucky's eyes darkened, his breath hitching in his chest at the title. Something about you calling him by his rank made him a little weak.

"I don't think so, doll," he warned. "You know who's in charge here, and I haven't given you permission to take it your turn yet. You gotta earn it. You're gonna follow my orders.”

You whimpered softly, so turned on now that you couldn't think for yourself.

Bucky's eyes scanned over you, taking in your flushed and panting form. He could see the way you were responding to him, how your need was taking over and making it hard for you to think.

“There’s my good girl,” he murmured, his voice silky smooth. "Now open that pretty mouth and stick that tongue out so Sarge can fuck your face.”

You followed his orders without question, tilting your head back and sticking your tongue out as far as it would go. Seconds later Bucky was shoving his fat cock between your lips, thrusting his hips until the head of his dick was hitting the back of your throat. You did your best to suck around him, hollowing your cheeks while your tongue lapped up every drop of precum leaking from his tip. One of your hands braced on his hip while the other came up to play with his balls as he grunted softly with your ministrations.

Bucky was losing it a little more with each passing second. You were so damn gifted with that tongue of yours, and he wanted to come inside you.

“You’re gonna make Sarge come,” he moaned. So did you, right around his cock. “Bet you'd like that, huh?” His hips thrusted deeper into your throat and you felt tears pricking in the corners of your eyes. “You wanna taste me?”

You gazed up at him with desperate, pleading eyes, and he responded with a dark, mocking laugh.

“Too fucking bad.” He grunted, pulling himself from your mouth as his eyes fluttered shut while you were left panting and speechless.

“Ruined that chance,” he continued. “Show me those gorgeous tits. You want me to make sure they're protected from the sun? I can cover them in cum and you won't have to worry about that any more. How does that sound?” 

Bucky's hands moved to rest on your shoulders, firmly pushing you down onto your back, his body hovering over you, trapping your wrists above your head in his hands. His cock resting between your breasts.

“Is that a nod, doll? You gonna let me come on your tits?

"No,” you answered, rather weakly.

He chuckled, but there was an edge to it, a hint of a warning.

"Oh go on now, get me off, darlin'.”

You struggled slightly in a weak attempt to free yourself from his grip, to take what you wanted.

"Struggle all you want, doll. But you're not going anywhere 'til you're dripping with my cum," he muttered darkly from above you.

This man and his filthy mouth. The way it had you squirming, panting. You could feel the heat pooling between your thighs. The need for him to take you was overwhelming. Your body writhed beneath his, your aching pussy silently begging to be filled.

"Aww look at you all stuck," he laughed. "You're dripping wet, aren't you? You might as well tell the truth because I'm going to fucking check anyway.”

"Go on then.”

Bucky smirked, his eyes darkening with a familiar look. He loved this game, the push and pull, testing your limits and seeing how far he could go.

"You sure?" he asked, his tone taunting. "You want me to touch you, make you squirm even more than you already are?”

"Please..." the word slipped from your lips before you realized what you were saying.

Bucky's eyes darkened at your whimper. He could always tell when you were starting to let your guard down, when you were giving up the fight. It made him want you even more.

"Please? Look at that, you're begging now, doll. You need me, don't you?” He asked, gently thrusting between your breasts.

You whimpered softly. There was no denying it, you wanted to be touched, you wanted him to fill you up, you didn't want to wait. 

Bucky could see the look in your eyes, the desire that had taken over and left you a needy, begging mess. He loved seeing you like this, completely under his control, waiting for his touch.

"You're starting to be a good girl now, huh? I knew you would give in eventually. You just need a little push, don't you?”

"The only thing you should be pushing right now is little Sarge inside me.”

Bucky chuckled deeply. Damn, your filthy mouth was going to be the death of him.

"You're getting cheeky, doll. You won't be getting that anytime soon until you learn some manners.”

"You gonna teach me?" you smirked.

Bucky's laugh was dark and dangerous. "You're just asking for it, aren't you? But I'm gonna have to teach you a lesson, doll.”

You just gave him a long, silent look, slowly wetting your lips.

Bucky's eyes tracked the movement of your tongue, the way it glided over your full lips. You knew exactly what you were doing to him, and he was loving every second of it.

"You're playing with fire, doll. I don't think you realize just how much you're testing my control right now.”

"Show me.”

Bucky's breath hitched at your words. The challenge in your voice, the slight attitude behind your words. He loved it.

"You really want me to show you?" he asked, his voice low and dangerous. "You want me to lose control? You think you can handle that?”

"You think you've been in control all this time?”

Bucky actually laughed at that. You were trying so hard to regain a little bit of power, to knock him off balance and turn the tables. But he could see through it all.

"Don't act like you haven't been the one begging for it this whole time, doll," he smirked. "You've been desperate for my touch, my attention, my control. And you know it.”

"Then do it.”

"Oh, doll, you're so impatient," he taunted. "Don't worry, I'll take care of you, just the way you need. You'll get your fill, but on my terms.”

He moved down to kneel between your legs.

Bucky knelt between your legs, his body towering over you as he settled in. He could see the way your breath hitched, the way his presence alone was affecting you.

"You good, doll?" he asked, his voice low and sultry, "You ready for this?”

You smiled at your boyfriend, something had suddenly shifted between you, teasing put aside, your closeness and intimacy taking over as he hovered against your entrance.

Bucky froze for a moment, his eyes softening as he saw the change in you. He knew that feeling all too well, that moment when playfulness gives way to something more tender and true. He met your gaze, a small smile tugging at the corners of his lips.

"You look so beautiful, doll," he murmured, his voice gentle. "I love you so goddamn much.”

"Love you too, Buck," you whispered.

Bucky's heart filled with warmth every time he heard you say those words. It was a moment of vulnerability, a reminder of the love and trust that existed between them.

He leaned down a little more, his body pressing against yours, the tip of his hard length resting against your entrance. He could see the love and longing in your eyes, and he wanted to make you feel good.

"Are you ready for me, doll?" he asked.

"Always ready for you, Sarge." You spread your legs, inviting him in. 

Bucky darkened eyes sparkling with affection. He loved that nickname, the way it sounded when it left your lips.

"There's my good girl," he praised, his fingers caressing your skin as he positioned himself at your entrance. "I'll take care of you, doll. Just relax and let me make you feel good.”

You panted softly as his thick cock filled you, the glorious stretch of your walls as he pushed into you making your eyes roll backwards. The first movement was slow, cautious, and almost gentle, giving you the chance to accept him. He kept going until he was fully seated inside you, his nose not even an inch away from yours. 

Bucky was in ecstasy, there was nothing quite like the feeling of your body wrapped around him. It was like coming home, a moment where he was yours completely, where he felt safe and accepted.

Bucky could feel your body twitching beneath him, begging for more. He knew he couldn't hold back any longer, the need was too strong.

The moment of stillness was just long enough to let the realization sink in that they were truly connected, body and soul. Bucky was fully lost in the moment, the heat and the sensations that were coursing through him. He needed more, needed to feel those highs, those peaks. He needed you.

"I need you, doll," he managed to gasp out, his voice gruff and raw, "Can I move?”

You nodded fervently.

Bucky could sense the pleading in your eyes, the unspoken plea for him to take you, make you his. His hands moved to your hips, holding you firm while he pulled out and then slammed back into you hard, a groan leaving his lips.

"Damn doll," he grunted. "You feel so good.”

"Ohhh, Buck." You moaned, no other words were left in your vocabulary as he pounded in and out of you, the sound of your skin slapping together almost drowning out the waves crashing on the beach.

The sound of your voice, the way you said his name, it drove him wild. He knew he couldn't last much longer, not when you were looking so damn beautiful, lying under him, taking every inch of what he had to offer. 

"That's it, doll. M'close.”

You weren't too far off either, not with the way that his tip brushed your A-spot before he pulled out, dragging over your sensitive G-spot. You moaned salaciously as he pushed up your thighs, burying himself deep inside you with each thrust.

Bucky was barely holding it together anymore, the need to make you fall apart first was the only thing keeping him from letting go.

You reached down to touch your clit, to speed things along so you could keep up with Bucky. Bucky's hand shot out, stopping you quickly.

"No, doll," he said, his voice firm. "You don't touch yourself unless I give you permission. That's my job. Understand?”

You whined softly, in the midst of your pleasure, you'd forgotten to keep up your act.

Bucky saw the look of frustration on your face and knew you had slipped. He couldn't help but chuckle softly, even as he was on the edge himself. 

"That's right, doll," he teased. "You forgot who was in charge here, didn't you? But don't worry, I'll remind you.”

He thrust into you harder, pounding into you so hard that you weren't forming any coherent thoughts. The familiar feeling was building rapidly inside you. "Buck," you moaned, as if the sound of his name would communicate what you were feeling.

Bucky recognized that sound, the way you were begging him, calling his name. He knew you were close, right on the edge of falling apart. He didn't let up, keeping that hard and steady pace. 

"Yeah, doll," he grunted, "You're gonna come for me, aren't you?”

Your fingers tightened around the towel that was still hanging on the side of the lounger as you whimpered.

Bucky could see the way your body was tensing, the way your grip was holding onto the towel for dear life. He knew he was pushing you to the limit. He wanted to see you come undone. 

"That's it, doll. Let go for me, I want to feel you squeezing me, come on, be a good girl for me and come.”

"Oh fuck!" The words tumbled from your lips as waves of pleasure crashed over you.

Bucky felt your body convulse around him as you came, and it was all he needed to tip him over the edge. The way your walls squeezed around him, milking his throbbing cock, sending fireworks shooting through every nerve in his body.

"Buck-uhhhh," you panted as your body relaxed, coming down from your climax.

Bucky collapsed onto the lounger next to you. He was panting, his breath coming out in gasps. He wrapped his arms around you, pulling you closer to his chest, tucking your head under his chin.

"Damn, doll," he whispered, his voice hoarse. "That was something else.”

"Aww baby, did I make you all weak?" you smirked into his chest.

Bucky chuckled deeply, shaking his head slightly. "Don't get cocky, doll. I still got plenty of stamina left." He nipped playfully at your ear, his hand trailing down your side.

“I'm still waiting on that suncream, Sarge.” You gathered some of his cum that had trickled down your thigh onto your fingertip and held it up. “Not sure this is gonna cut it.”

Bucky growled, his eyes narrowing. Suddenly he scooped you up in his arms and carried you to the end of the pool.

“Bucky!” you shrieked. “Don't you dare.”

“I think you need to cool off.” The grin on Bucky's face was positively smug.

You wrapped your arms tightly around his neck and gave him a warning look as he threatened to throw you into the pool.

“Don't,” you said warningly.

“How are things?” Nat asked as she refilled your glass of wine. “Barnes behaving himself? Keeping his dick in his pants?”  It was your first Girl’s Night with her, Wanda, and Pepper since you had moved out of the Tower two months ago, and your friends were desperate for some tea. 

“Nat!” Wanda scolded, before turning to you. “I’m sorry, Pocket– we all agreed we weren’t going to bring up Bucky’s… mistakes. We’re just glad you’re happy. …You are happy, right?”

You smiled at your friend as you grabbed another slice of pizza. You knew they had reservations about you getting back together with Bucky– they’d been by your side for the worst of it, after all, but, for the most part, they’d been supportive of your reconciliation. 

“He’s been wonderful,” you assured them, and pointedly, Nat. “His dick has not been kept in his pants, I have to say, but I confess to not being upset about that in the least.”

Pepper choked a little bit on her wine as she tried to stifle her laugh. “So, the makeup sex is good, then?” she asked with a wry grin.

“The makeup sex was phenomenal,” you corrected her. “And the return to normal sex has been fantastic, too. Not a single complaint from me in that department; just the downstairs neighbor!”

“As long as you’re happy,” Nat said, sitting down next to you once she had refilled everyone’s glass. “That’s all that matters, I guess.”

“I am happy, Natty,” you assured her. “He fucked up. He knows he fucked up, and he did the work to make it right– he’s still doing the work to make it right. That’s more than I could have asked for.”

Nat sighed and put an arm around your shoulder. “I know, honey. It’s just hard for me to forgive him for hurting you as badly as he did, that’s all. Don’t worry– I’ll get over it.”

You gave Nat a side hug. “I appreciate you. And I promise, he ever fucks up like that again, you can help me kill him.”

“Who’re ya killin, sweets?” Bucky asked as he entered the room, Sam, Vision, Tony, and Rhodey trailing close behind, Tony and Rhodey passing a basketball back and forth between the two of them.

“Just you, baby,” you said, giving him your most innocent smile and stretching your head up to meet his as he leaned down to kiss you. “You know, if you ever pull shit like last year on me again.”

“I’ll kill myself before I ever let that happen again,” he assured you. He was dressed in a tight black tank and a pair of basketball shorts, and he looked fucking good. 

“How was basketball?” you asked as he sat down next to you. He opened his arms and you climbed happily into his lap.

“Ugh, come on, Pocket!” Nat grumbled. “Don’t welcome him! It’s Girls’ Night!”

“Too late, Natasha,” Tony said with a grin as he sat down next to Pepper, giving her a kiss on her cheek. “We worked up an appetite playing b-ball downstairs, and you cannot separate a man from his pizza!” He reached across the coffee table and grabbed a slice, and you were grateful you’d decided to order extra pies tonight.

“Don’t say ‘b-ball,’ man,” Sam said as he typed away on his phone. “You don’t have the melanin for it.” He slid down on the floor in front of Nat and reached for a pizza slice of his own. 

“Ew, could you not lean against my legs?” Nat exclaimed as she pulled her feet up and tucked them under her. “You’re all sweaty and you stink.”

Sam turned around to grin at her. “That’s the smell of man, Red. You like?”

“Gross,” Nat said, shaking her head. “Remind me to take you out back and hose you down.”

“Do I stink, doll?” Bucky asked, rubbing his sweaty head into the crook of your shoulder. 

“Yes,” you giggled, ruffling his hair, “but I like it. Very sexy. It makes me want to do very dirty things to you.”

Before Bucky could retort, Tony stood up and exclaimed “Alcohol? Anyone else want alcohol so we can get so drunk we forgot we just heard that? Rhodes, Vis, help me out. Please.”

“You sure love giving him heart palpitations, don’t you?” Pepper asked with a smile as Tony, Vision, and Rhodey headed to the bar in the back of the common room, where you assumed they would retrieve some adult beverages.

“Come on, Pep,” you teased as you wrapped Bucky’s arms around your waist, “you and I both know that, for that to happen, Tony Stark would need to have a heart in the first place.”

Those of you still sitting around the coffee table shared a laugh at Tony’s expense, but were cut short when the doors to the common room flung open and Thor and Bruce walked in. 

“Ah, so this is where the party is!” Thor exclaimed, raising a jug that you knew must house some Asgardian liquor in it. “Pocket, Barnes! So good to see you! Barnes, I trust you will join me in a little Asgardian indulgence?”

Bucky looked at you, as though checking to see if you would be alright with him drinking. “Don’t look at me,” you said, laughing. “You’re a big boy, more than old enough to decide if you want to get drunk or not. Besides, I’m not your mom.”

“Thank God for that,” Bucky said, kissing your neck. “I’d have a whole new set of issues to discuss with Raynor. Yeah, Odinson, I’ll take a glass; thanks.” 

“Excellent!” the god exclaimed. “Stark! Fetch tumblers for myself and the metal man! Tonight, we drink like kings!”

A few of the guys cheered, and you took the opportunity to lean into Bucky’s ear. “You’re super cute when you’re drunk, anyway,” you told him. “You always want to tell me all your secrets.”

Bucky grinned and squeezed you just a bit. “I don’t have any more secrets from you, doll,” he teased. 

Tony, Rhodey, and Vision returned then, carrying six packs of ice cold beer from the fridge, along with glasses and bottles of liquor from the bar. Tony handed tumblers to Bucky and Thor, who made quick work of pouring healthy servings for the both of them.

“Malibu and pineapple for the Kiddo,” Tony said, handing you a large glass of your favorite mixed drink.

“Thanks, Boss,” you said, happily taking the glass and giving it an experimental sip. “Mmm, delicious! You always get the ratio just right.”

Tony winked at you as he sat down and popped open a beer. “I know my girls,” he said with a grin before handing Pepper a fresh bottle of wine. “And the Bordeaux for my lady love,” he said, to Pepper’s delight.

You noticed curiously that Bruce had sat himself down as far away from Nat as possible, and you wondered if the two were off again. You tried to catch her eye to silently inquire, but she was engrossed with something Wanda and Vision were saying, and not paying you any attention. 

“We should absolutely play a drinking game!” Sam exclaimed to no one in particular. When all eyes turned to him, he elaborated: “Come on! When was the last time we were all together to just have fun?”

“Um, probably when you all showed up at the apartment with Cards Against Humanity to cockblock me and Bucky on our first night there,” you offered with a teasing grin. 

Sam shot you a Look. “Never gonna let me live that foot-in-mouth moment down, are ya, Baby Girl?” he asked.

“Not ever,” you agreed. “I cried that night, Dark Chocolate!” 

“And I felt really bad about it!” he protested. “You gotta let bygones be bygones.”

“Fine, fine,” you conceded with a laugh, not wanting him to feel worse for it than you knew he already did when it wasn’t his fault you still had unresolved trauma. “What game did you have in mind?”

Sam made a thoughtful face, but before he could, the common room door opened again and Steve walked in. When he saw you and Bucky sitting together, he stopped in his tracks, face falling ashen.

“Um…” he began, clearly uncomfortable, “Sam said there was pizza, but I didn’t realize you two… if you’re… I don’t have to… I can leave.”

You sighed and stole a glance at Bucky, each silently seeking out the other’s opinion. You shrugged slightly, as if to say I’d rather not make this awkward. Bucky nodded at you before turning back to Steve.

“Stay, Rogers,” he said, though there was no warmth in his voice. “This is your home; Pocket and I are just visiting. We’re not gonna put you out. I think we can all be civilized for an evening.”

“Yeah, thanks,” Steve said before sitting down next to Nat and grabbing a slice of pizza. The room was filled with awkward silence until Thor stood up. 

“Let me get you a drink, Rogers!” he bellowed as he walked over to the bar to grab another tumbler and fill it with Asgardian liquor. “Tonight, we drink like kings!”

Steve took the cup gratefully, as though happy to have something to focus on other than the company in the room.

“Never Have I Ever!” Nat shouted in her attempt to break the tension. Everyone turned to stare at her. “That’s what we should play,” she said. 

“Wanna run through the rules for the elderly, non-Earthlings, and non-humans among us?” Tony asked.

“Right,” said Nat, taking a sip of her beer. “One person starts by saying ‘Never Have I Ever,’ then you say something you’ve never done before. If you haven’t done that thing, you do nothing, but if you have,” her smile turned sharp, “you take a drink. And then someone else goes.”

“And what’re the parameters for winning?” Vision asked. He had his index fingers pointed together, resting against his lips, as if he were taking the entire thing very seriously.

“Everyone gets drunk, and then everyone wins?” you offered, what you thought was hopefully. 

“Basically,” Nat agreed. “You just learn more about your friends and have a good time,” she added. “It’s not really about winning.”

Vis nodded as if this was revelatory information for him. “I see,” he said with all seriousness. “This sounds like it will be fun!”

“Alright, I’ll go first with an easy one,” Nat said, picking up her beer bottle. “Never have I ever… been able to fly on command.”

Immediately, Tony, Rhodey, Sam, Wanda, Vision, and Thor all took a drink. 

“Pep!” you chastised. “You’ve absolutely worn an Iron Man suit and flow before! Drink up!”

“You know, I completely forgot about that?” she said with a laugh as she drank. “Okay, I’ll go next. Never have ever… punched Tony Stark.” 

The room broke out into groans as each one of you, save Pepper and Tony, himself, drank to that. “Wow,” said Tony as he looked around the room. “I’ve never felt more like a victim than I do at this moment.”

“Tell me you haven’t deserved each and every one of them,” Rhodey teased.

“Yeah, fair. That’s totally fair,” he conceded. “My turn. Never have I ever been poor.” This time, everyone but Tony, Thor, and Vision drank. 

“I have no use for currency,” Vision clarified when Wanda looked at him. “And as such, I have no concept of poverty or wealth, beyond the value I place in you, my dear, and for that, I am most wealthy.”

Everyone made gagging noises at that.

The game continued on, with questions both bland (“Never have I ever been arrested;” though most of you drank) and ridiculous (“Never have I ever fallen off the giant horse Goldfaxi.” “Well obviously, Point Break, none of us have either, because we’ve never been to Asgard.”) and soon you were all, at the very least, pleasantly tipsy. Bucky, in particular, having crossed the line over to drunk several drinks ago. Living as long as he had, he’d done a lot of shit.

“Okay, okay,” Bucky said, stuttering his words a little, which you found adorable, “Never have I ever… made out with more than one person on this team!” He grinned while Nat and Steve took a drink, but frowned when he saw you raise your glass to your lips. Had he forgotten about your… mistake with Steve after your birthday party? God, you wish you could have.

“Well,” said Tony with a cough, not recognizing the dark territory the game was delving into, “Never have I ever made out with more than two people on this team.”

You felt your shoulders sag; this was not going to help you, at all. Bucky watched in disbelief as you took another drink.”

“Seriously?” Tony exclaimed. “Under my very nose?”

“What the fuck, Pocket?” Bucky asked you, no levity in his voice. 

“Nat drank, too,” Steve said, as though that made things perfectly okay.

“No one fucking asked you, Rogers,” Bucky spat back at him, then turned back to you. “Who else have you made out with, Pocket?”

You sighed. You really didn’t want to have this conversation, let alone when Bucky was drunk and in front of all of your friends, but you knew he wouldn’t be able to let it go. “You already know about my birthday,” you told him softly, wishing you were both somewhere else, alone. 

“We made out at a Stark party once,” Nat blurted out. She offered you an apologetic look, but you were grateful to her for not making you say it. 

Every head in the room snapped to look back and forth between you and the assassin. There were surprised shouts of ‘What?’ ‘When?’ ‘How long?’ ‘With tongue?’ and ‘Under my own roof?’ (that one came from Tony). Looks like you were going to have to speak to it, afterall.

“It was years ago,” you clarified, addressing Bucky, and Bucky alone. He was the only one you owed any sort of explanation to, after all. “Nat was working undercover for Fury, kinda… I dunno, would you call it ‘spying,’ Natty?” Your friend shrugged. “Spying on Tony for him, to evaluate him for the Avengers Initiative. She was his assistant. There was a party, we were drunk, and we were both just kind of like ‘You’re hot, I’m hot, should we kiss?’” You looked at your boyfriend, trying to discern what he was thinking. “It just happened the one time. Afterwards, we laughed about it, because we both realized it was stupid, and we decided to become best friends.”

Bucky looked to Nat, as though daring her to contradict you. “That’s all, Barnes, honestly,” she said.

“So, that’s it?” he asked you. “You just kissed Nat the one time, and Steve the one time? No one else?”

“Well,” you said, drawing the word out. Fuck, he was not going to like this, not one bit, but you weren’t going to lie to him.

“Who else, Pocket?” he spat out, standing up abruptly and practically dumping you to the floor in the process.

“Can we please have this conversation somewhere private,” you asked him, standing up, but he just looked at you, arms crossed. “Okay,” you said, “first of all, it was just one time, and it honestly didn’t mean anything, but it wasn’t just a make out…”

“Jesus Christ,” he exclaimed, “You fucked someone else on the team?!”

You gnawed on your lip. You would have told him, one day. You really would have, but you’d honestly never had had the body count conversation before. But you didn’t want it coming out like this. Your eyes subconsciously found Thor’s, and that was all the information Bucky needed to put the pieces together.

“THOR?” he bellowed, the sound making you flinch. “You fucked THOR?!” Around you, your friends gasped. Not even Nat knew about you and the God of Thunder.

“Watch your tone, Barnes!” Thor said, standing up to come to your defense. “The night of love making Lady Pocket and I shared was beautiful, and I will not let you speak to her this way!” Oh, that was not going to help things, Thor, you beautiful idiot!

The room was perfectly still, as if everyone was holding their breath, afraid that breathing would break the delicate balance that was holding your reality in place. Tony’s eyes were wide with shock, while Pepper, Nat, and Wanda gave you subtle looks of surprise and respect.

“Bucky,” you said, trying to diffuse the situation, “seriously, can we talk about this… just you and I? Please?”

“Why?” he asked, glaring at you. “Gotta anymore surprise lovers you want to spring on me?”

“Barnes, that’s enough!” Tony said, standing up now. “You’re drunk, and you’re not thinking straight. You’re not going to talk to Pocket like this.”

“It’s fine, Tony,” you said, putting a hand on his shoulder to reassure him. “I get why he’s mad. I should have told him.”

“You think?” Bucky spat. “Lemme guess– next you’re gonna tell me you actually did fuck Stark for your education!”

He may as well have slapped you with that accusation, his words forcefully taking you aback. “That’s enough, Barnes!” you said, your voice sharp now. You’d had quite enough. “You know what? Sleep here tonight. Don’t come back home until you get your head out of your ass.” 

You stood up and collected your bag. “Thanks for the time, guys,” you said before you stepped out, leaving the room in silence behind you.

“Fuck this!” you heard Bucky shout, and the sound of the common room’s other door slamming behind him as he stormed away. You shook your head as you punched the elevator button repeatedly. You could not believe he had the audacity to be mad at you over something that had happened before you had ever even met. How dare he? After everything he’d done? Everything you’d worked so hard to get over?

“Pocket?” You closed your eyes and sighed at the sound of Steve calling your name. Great. You weren’t in the mood for him to start questioning you on why you’d deemed to sleep with Thor but not him. You really didn’t have the mental resolve for that.

“What do you want, Steve?” you asked, resigned to just get the conversation over with. All you wanted right now was to get into your bed and cry yourself to sleep. 

“Don’t be too hard on him,” Steve said, much to your surprise. You turned to face him. He stood a more than respectable distance away from you, hands shoved awkwardly in his pockets as he looked down at his shoes, as though unable to meet your eye. “I’m not saying what he said was okay, because it’s not, but you know how inadequate he feels when it comes to you. He’s never thought he deserves you, and it’s like he can’t help but latch on to anything that he thinks proves that.”

“That doesn’t give him the right to talk to me like that, Steve,” you said, rubbing at the space between your eyes. You felt a headache coming on, for sure. “I don’t deserve to be slutshamed for things that happened before I ever even met him.”

“I know that,” Steve said, taking his hands out of his pockets and raising them as if in surrender. “And I know that Bucky knows it, too.”

“Why are you telling me this, Steve?” you asked him. After all the work Steve had done last year to try and get you and Bucky to break up, it was almost bordering on suspicious that he’d be speaking in favor of his former friend now.

Steve ran a hand through his hair. “Because you two are real,” he said with a simple shrug of his shoulders. “What you have, that’s real, and it’s rare. I get it now. I’m sorry I ever thought I had the right to decide whether or not it wasn’t.”

You swallowed and nodded at him. You appreciated his words, though you weren’t sure if it was enough to forgive him for everything he’d done. “I’ll take your advice under consideration” was all you said to him instead before you got into the elevator and let the doors close behind you.

*

Sleep proved to be elusive that night. Despite crying to near exhaustion, you found yourself tossing and turning, unable to find rest and knowing that it was from the lack of the warm, familiar body that should be curled up by your side. Your brain had gone into overdrive at imagining worst-case scenarios of what Bucky might be getting up to when he was drunk and so angry at you, and you were trying very hard not to remember what he’d done the last time he thought you’d betrayed him.

A soft chime got your attention, and you picked up your phone. Bucky had texted you, and you held your breath, wondering what more vitriol he was going to spew at you.

Magic Dick🍆🦾: Can I come home? Magic Dick🍆🦾: Please?

You blinked in surprise at your screen. That was not what you had been expecting.

>> Of course you can. It’s still your home, too. >> But as for whether or not you’ll be welcome back in bed… >> Depends on whether or not you got your head out of your ass.

Despite what you’d told him earlier, you’d never actually deny him entrance to your apartment. Not unless you’d ended things with him for good, and you’d fought too long and too hard to be together for that to happen over something like this.

You stared at your phone screen, waiting to see if he would respond, but the text thread remained inactive. You wondered where he was, and what kind of shape he was in. Where he had been, what he had done. Who he had done it with.

“Hey.” Though his voice was soft, its unexpectedness startled you. There he was, standing in the doorway of your bedroom, leaning against the frame, barely illuminated from the ambient light of the city outside. 

“Jesus Christ, Barnes!” you exclaimed, clutching at your chest. “You nearly gave me a heart attack! How’d you even get here so fast?”

“Been sitting in the hall for the last two hours,” he admitted sheepishly. “Working up the courage to ask if I could come back home. Think the only reason I was brave enough to text you was ‘cause I convinced myself you had to be sleepin’ by now. Planned on just spendin’ the night out there.” He offered you a soft half smile before his face turned serious. “I’m so sorry, doll. Ya gotta know, the things I said…”

“Were really uncalled for, Bucky,” you interjected. He visibly flinched before you.

“I know,” he admitted, his voice so low you had to strain to hear it. “I had no right judgin’ you for things that happened ‘fore we ever even met. ‘Specially not after everything I did. It took me by surprise ‘n my ego got bruised. No man’s gonna like hearin’ the love of his life slept with a literal fuckin’ god, but I took it too far, and I’m sorry.”

At hearing him refer to  you as “the love of his life,” your heart warmed in your chest, and you pulled back the blanket and sheets on his side of the bed, silently inviting him in to join you. You very well couldn’t hold his continued insecurities against him when you had just been worried he was off with someone else. It was a process, you reminded yourself.

Bucky looked at you, eyes wide. “You sure, sweets?” he asked hesitantly. 

You nodded at him. “We need to talk,” you told him, “and I’d rather do it with you here next to me than with you all the way over there.”

Bucky swallowed and slowly made his way over to the bed and got ready to climb in… fully clothed.

“Gonna sleep with your clothes on, Barnes?” you asked, raising a brow. 

You could barely make out the flush that came to his cheeks in the low light. “I didn’t wanna just assume…” he began.

“Get undressed and get your ass in bed,” you told him. You watched as he slowly stripped down to his boxer briefs, folding his discarded clothes and putting them in the hamper, always the regimented soldier, before crawling under the covers next to you.

Once he was settled on his back, you curled up against him, your head on his chest and your leg hooked over his torso. You could feel him physically relax into your touch as he wrapped his flesh arm around your shoulders, and you knew he’d been terrified that you wouldn’t let him be close to you after what he’d said.

“So, you and Thor, huh?” he asked, voice strained, and you knew he was doing everything in his power to keep his emotions steady.

“Are you sure that’s something you want to hear about?” you asked him guardedly. You certainly appreciated his willingness to discuss it, but you didn’t want to cause him any additional pain… or cause him to freak out on you again. 

“I think I have to,” he answered. “If I don’t, I’ll just keep on imagining it, and that’ll be worse for me.”

“Fair enough,” you agreed. “But before we get into it, tell me where you’ve been tonight.”

He looked down at you, understanding drawing on his face. “I went down to the gym,” he began. “Punched the bag for a little while, tryn’a get the anger out, but then I started feeling gross from that Asgardian shit, so I went up to my old room and crashed for a couple hours. Woke up with a splitting headache and a hell of a lot of remorse, so I came home and just hung out in the hallway, working up the courage to text you.”

You hummed in acknowledgement, feeling a sense of relief that he hadn’t felt the need to revisit old bad habits. He could have been lying to you, of course, but he knew that you could check the security feed at the Tower to verify his story if you didn’t trust him. Truth was though, you did trust him. 

“Okay,” you began, snuggling further into him. “I won’t lie and pretend like I never thought Thor was hot.”

You felt the laughter rumble through Bucky’s chest. “Yeah, you never made a secret of that,” he said, and it was a relief to hear.

“Yeah, well, it’s an objective fact. That can’t be helped. Anyway, his girlfriend, Jane, had just dumped him. He was devastated. He tried to pretend that he wasn’t phased by it, like it was a mutual decision, but everyone could see he was heartbroken. I guess Tony and Clint convinced him that the best way to get over her was to have some rebound sex with someone else. Granted, I highly doubt Tony ever thought Thor would consider asking me, but I was really the only other single Earth girl he knew at the time. 

“So, one night, after we’d all had a couple of drinks, he just… asked. He was upfront about his reasons, never implied that it would be more than what it was. And I hadn’t been with anyone in a while, and I thought he was good looking, and he was just so sad, I figured ‘what’s the harm in it?’ 

You sighed, thinking back on the night in question. Thor had been a gentle, attentive lover, though you didn’t think Bucky needed to necessarily know that, but there had been no spark of connection, no need. Nothing like what you felt when you were with the man before you.

“Afterwards, he thanked me for helping him get through a tough time, and we left it at that. Never spoke about it again until tonight.”

“He said it was ‘beautiful,’ though,” Bucky said, and you were proud of him for keeping his tone light, when you knew this must be difficult for him.

You chewed on your lip, trying to come up with the right words to express what had happened that night. “It was beautiful in the way that sad things are beautiful,” you told him eventually. “Neither one of us were in great places. He was dealing with losing Jane, and I had just found out that Darren had died in prison.” You could feel Bucky’s questioning stare, so you clarified. “I was thrilled he was dead, don’t get me wrong; it’s just that the news brought up a bunch of old memories I didn’t really want to deal with. Here was this kind, handsome man that wanted to sleep with me, and that felt like a salve. It made me feel like more than what Darren had made me. We were two people who were hurting and found some solace in each other for a little while.”

The hand that was wrapped around your shoulders tightened as Bucky pulled you closer. “I’m so sorry I overreacted,” he said before kissing the crown of your head. “I know we’ve talked about it. I’m scared there’s always going to be a part of me that’s terrified you’re gonna realize you’re too good for me and leave me.”

“That’s never going to happen, Buck,” you assured him. “I’m with you because I want to be with you. If I didn’t, I wouldn’t have fought so hard to make this work.”

“I know, doll,” he said. “The part of me that’s Bucky, that’s a man, he knows that. But… the part of me that’s always gonna be the Soldier, the monster, that’s the part that needs convincing. I see guys like Thor, Steve, hell, even Stark– these guys that are just good, heroes, who don’t come with lifetimes of baggage and trauma, and I think ‘that’s the kinda man she’s supposed to be with, not a used up sad excuse of whatever’s left of me.’

You felt your heart squeeze painfully in your chest. “You know I hate it when you talk about yourself like that,” you told him.

He chuckled derisively. “Yeah, yeah,” he said. “Doesn’t stop me from feelin’ it, though.”

“I wish it would,” you sighed. “You’re everything. All I want is for you to see that.”

“Maybe someday,” he said quietly into the dark of the room. “Maybe someday.”

You wished there was something you could say to convince him. To get him to see himself the way you saw him everyday, but that was a battle you weren’t going to win tonight. You did know of something that would probably cheer him up, though.

“Hey,” you said, turning your head and resting your chin on his pectoral so you could look up at him. “If it makes you feel any better, you’re bigger than Thor.”

Bucky snorted a laugh. “Whaddaya talkin’ ‘bout, sweets? The man’s huge. His muscles have muscles, for fucks’ sake!”

“No, baby,” you said, carefully moving your leg so that it rubbed pointedly against his groin. “I mean you’re bigger.”

Bucky’s eyes widened in surprise. “That so?” he asked, his voice gone suddenly husky. 

You nodded. “Yup,” you said, popping your ‘p’. “Longer and thicker. He could never make me feel as good as you do, Buck. No one could. I don’t ever want anyone else to even try.”

You awoke from a dead sleep with a backhand to the face. Eyes watering in pain, you struggled to make sense of your surroundings. Your brain knew you should be assessing the area for the threat so you could neutralize it, but your body just wanted to curl back in on itself, pull the covers over your head, and hope the assault would just stop so you could go back to sleep. It was currently a toss up as to which part of you would win. 

A grunt and a knee to your stomach made the decision for you, and you were jerked into full alertness. Next to you, Bucky was writhing and mumbling, a fine sheen of sweat on his thrashing brow. 

You let out a defeated sigh. It had been ages since Bucky had had one of his nightmares, and you had foolishly hoped that he had finally escaped the torment, especially now that you had moved in together. 

“Baby,” you said, gently shaking him. You knew from experience that it was best to wake him slowly, to give his conscious brain time to surface and adjust, to not frighten him. “Buck, wake up.” 

You leaned over him, placing a hand on each of his shoulders. The second you touched the vibranium, his eyes flew open and locked with yours. But they were not the warm, loving eyes you knew so well– they were cold, lifeless balls of ice that looked right through you. You’d only encountered the Winter Soldier the one time, and when you had, he’d looked at you the exact same way. 

In an instant, Bucky had you on your back, his large frame leaning over you as he panted for breath. Under normal circumstances, you loved it when Bucky put you in this position, but this was not a normal circumstance, and this was not your Bucky.

“Buck,” you said, trying to calm your racing heart. “Baby, it’s me. It’s Pocket.” You reached a hand up to touch his face, but that was the wrong move. Bucky snarled and pinned your hand down with his flesh hand, his vibranium one grasping your throat and beginning to squeeze.

“Fuck,” you gasped as you began to struggle against him. You knew it was futile; he was so much stronger than you were. You needed him to wake the fuck up. Using what remained of your dwindling strength, you drew your free hand back as far as you could and socked Bucky across his beautiful, stupid jaw, snapping his head to the side.

The second he turned back to look at you, you could see the change in his eyes, and you knew your Bucky was in control once again. His eyes were wide as he took in the sight before him, an expression of absolute horror on his face when he saw his hand wrapped around your throat. 

“Pocket? Shit.” He pulled away from you like your skin burned him and jumped from the bed, putting as much distance between the two of you as possible while you reached up to gently massage your throat. 

“Doll, I… I…” he stuttered, struggling to speak as his breath came in increasingly ragged gasps. “Fuck, baby. I’m so sorry. I… I could have killed you!”

“Hey–” you attempted to say, your voice coming out in a garbled croak as you stood up. You coughed, trying to clear it before speaking again. “Hey. I’m okay. You were having a nightmare, but I’m okay.” You took a step closer, but he backed away from you, as though terrified he was going to put hands on you again. Eventually, you had him backed into a corner of the bedroom, and you took his hand and placed it over your heart.

“Feel that?” you asked him as his palm pressed against the fabric of his t-shirt that you wore. “I’m okay.” Gently, you reached out and cupped his cheek in your hand. “You didn’t mean to hurt me, and I’m okay.”

“You’re bleeding, Pocket,” he said softly, bringing his flesh hand up to your face. His thumb ran across your bottom lip and came away red with your blood. He must have split your lip when he’d backhanded you. 

“It’s just a little cut,” you assured him, taking his thumb into your mouth and wiping away the metallic taste with a sweep of your tongue. “I’m okay. I want to hear you say it.”

Bucky lowered his head, ashamed to even look at you. “I… I can’t,” he mumbled. “You’re not okay!” His head shot back up, a new rage in his eyes, though you knew he was only angry at himself. “Pocket, I had my hand around your throat and I was squeezing! If you hadn’t woken me up when you did… I don’t even want to fucking think about what could have happened!” 

His eyes were glassy with unshed tears, and your heart broke in that moment for him. You opened your arms, beckoning for him to come to you. “Come here, love,” you gently demanded of him, but you saw the struggle within him as he fought with himself against letting you provide him with any kind of comfort.

“Bucky,” you tried again, “please.” In an instant, he was in your arms, head pressed against your chest as you held him and he sobbed, garbled apologies falling from his lips. “It’s not your fault,” you murmured into his hair. “You didn’t mean it. I don’t blame you.”

“They…” he managed to get out between ragged breaths, “they were hurting me.” They could only mean Hydra, and you sucked in a breath. In all your time together, Bucky had told you little to nothing about the nightmares that plagued him, afraid they might make you think differently, less, of him. It had been a source of contention in your relationship last year, when he’d opened up to her about them instead, and even after all this time, it had still been something he’d chosen to keep to himself. 

“You don’t have to tell me if you don’t want to, baby,” you assured him as you ran your fingers through his hair. “I don’t want you to feel forced if you aren’t ready.”

He pulled his head away from you and stood up straight, looking you in the eye. “No,” he said as he ran a hand to wipe the tears from his face. “I want to tell you. I want you to know… all the parts of me. Even the parts I don’t like. The parts I hate. I trust you, Pocket. More than I’ve ever trusted anyone, ever.”

You knew it wasn’t the appropriate time, but his words made your heart swell and you felt a few tears break free and slide down your cheeks. Grasping his face in both hands, you pulled him toward you and gave him a gentle, chaste kiss. “I want to know all of you, Buck,” you told him. “And I’m honored that you trust me with this.”

He closed his eyes and rested his forehead against yours. “Lord knows you deserve it, doll,” he said. “You’ve put up with enough of my shit, and you’re still here.”

“And I’m not going anywhere,” you assured him. “No matter what dreams you have. You’re stuck with me.”

Bucky let out a weak chuckle, and you could feel some of the tension leave his body. “Could we…” He jerked his head toward the bed, and you instinctively knew what he meant.

“Yeah, of course,” you said, taking his hand. You laid down, and Bucky curled up next to you, his head resting comfortably on the soft flesh of your stomach, his arm draped low over your hips. His was face turned away from you, and you knew it would make it easier for him to talk if he wasn’t looking directly at you.

“Whenever you’re ready,” you said, running your fingers through his hair, alternating between tugging softly on the locks and gently scratching your nails across his scalp. 

Bucky let out an involuntary groan of contentment. “Don’t stop that, okay?” he asked. “It… it reminds me that I’m still here, with you. That I’m safe.”

You brought your other hand up to play with the hair on the nape of his neck by way of response, an additional source of touch to ground him.

And Bucky began to talk. He told you of his dream, which was just a memory, really, of the torture he’d endured. You’d read the files. You knew what Hydra had done to him, the experiments, the ways they’d broken him down so they could rebuild him in their image; you knew it all already. But nothing– nothing– could have prepared you for hearing about it directly from Bucky’s own lips, from his perspective. The pain, the terror, the sheer loss of any and all hope. It gutted you. 

You stayed quiet, letting your tears fall silently down your face, knowing that if he detected even the slightest bit of distress coming from you, he would stop his story so he could comfort you, and you couldn’t have that. Not now, when you were meant to be comforting him. So, you listened. You listened, and you played with his hair as he unveiled the horrors he’d been subjected to.

Somehow. Somehow, this man, who had been tortured, beaten, used, abused and violated, in so many ways, had managed to remain the funniest, most beautiful, caring, loyal, passionate soul you’d ever known. He was a marvel, a miracle, a once in a lifetime wonder, and you were lucky enough to get to love him.

When he finished, you exhaled a shaky breath. “I’m so sorry,” you whispered, afraid to speak too loudly, lest you give away the fact that you’d been crying this entire time. “You didn’t deserve any of it. If I could kill every single person that ever harmed you, I would.”

“I know you would, doll,” he said softly, his fingers teasing up the hem of your shirt to play along the skin of your stomach. “And I love you for it. You have no idea. But… well, there’s nothing to be done for any of it, now.”

“Nope,” you said, shaking your head vigorously. “I don’t accept that. There’s got to be something I can do to help make things better for you.”

You felt him smile into your skin. “You help just by lovin’ me, doll,” he said. “By makin’ me feel like I’m worth somethin’. It makes all the difference.”

“I just wish there was more I could do, though,” you lamented. “More ways I could help you, to keep the nightmares from even happening in the first place. To make you feel as safe as you make me feel.”

The arm around your hips tightened as Bucky held you to him. “You wanna do something for me, sweets?” he asked. “Something that’ll help? Help get me back to sleep.”

You quirked your lip. You had a general idea where the insatiable super soldier was going with this. “Of course,” you told him. “Anything you want.”

“Sing to me.”

“What?!” Well. That had not been what you had expected him to ask of you. 

“Sing to me,” he repeated. “I love when you sing to me; helps me relax.”

You sighed. You had said ‘anything,’ after all. “Alright. What song?”

“You know the one,” he said, and you could hear the smirk in his voice.

“Oh, come on, Bucky!” you said with an exasperated sigh. “All the new music you’ve learned and that’s the song you want to hear?”

“‘S my favorite,” he said. “Love when you sing it. Makes me happy.” You could hear the exhaustion in his voice, and you knew he wouldn’t be awake much longer. After the night he’d just had, this was the least you could do for him.

“Fine,” you said, and he burrowed himself against your stomach like you were his own personal pillow.

“‘S my girl,” he murmured. 

And you began:

“Oh, misty eye of the mountain below Keep careful watch of my brothers’ souls And should the sky be filled with fire and smoke Keep watching over Durin’s son”

Long ago, back when the two of you were ‘just friends,’ and you’d finally made your way through The Hobbit: The Desolation of Smaug, Bucky had become absolutely enchanted with Ed Sheeran’s I See Fire. You didn’t understand it, but you didn’t dissuade him. You’d helped him download the track onto his phone, so he could play it whenever he liked, and you’d helped him look up the lyrics so he could sing it himself (though, bless him, he had many fine attributes, carrying a tune was not one of them). 

You’d asked him once, why he liked the song so much, and he’d just shrugged. “Dunno,” he’d said. “It’s a song about everything going to shit. The end of the world, knowing you’re about to die, but… but finding strength in it. Finding peace in it.” He’d looked at you then, that look you couldn’t discern at the time, but now recognized as love. “Not being afraid of it, because you’ve finally found the people who made dying worth it.”

“Now I see fire Inside the mountains I see fire Burning the trees I see fire Hollowing souls I see fire Blood in the breeze I see fire”

“Oh you know I saw a city burning out,” Bucky chimed in, deliciously off key, and you had to stifle a giggle so you could keep singing. 

“And I see fire,” you continued.

“Feel the heat upon my skin, yeah,” Bucky crooned as he crawled up from your stomach to lay his head next to yours.

“And I see fire.”

“And I see fire burn on and on the mountain side,” you both finished together in a peal of laughter. 

You rested a hand on his chest. “You were supposed to fall asleep,” you chastised him.

Bucky tucked a loose strand of hair back behind your ear. “What can I say, doll? Your voice got me going.” He reached down and began trailing his fingertips up your bare leg. “I might have some other ideas that will lull me back to slumber, though.” His grin was lascivious as his fingers danced under your shirt, pulling it up with them over your abdomen and breasts. 

“Oh yeah?” you asked coyly. “Whatever could you mean?”

“Come on, doll,” he teased, “wanna feel the heat upon your skin.”

You rolled your eyes. “You are NOT using Ed Sheeran lyrics in our foreplay, Barnes!” 

“Too late, sweets,” he said as he leaned down and began peppering your neck with kisses. “If this is to end in fire, then we should all burn together.” He paused to slip your shirt over your head. “Don’t you wanna burn with me, Pocket?”

“Fuck,” you groaned as his calloused hand gently massaged your breast. “I did say I’d do anything you want to help you go back to sleep, didn’t I?”

“‘S my girl,” Bucky grinned. 

A cool vibranium fingertip traced the outline of your lips, along the meridian of your chin and neck, between the valley of your breasts, down to your navel and back again, leaving a trail of tingles along your skin. 

“Never gonna get tired of this view,” Bucky hummed. He was propped up on his flesh elbow, looking down on you with warm, sultry eyes.

He had just finished fucking you so well and so thoroughly on the living room rug that all you could do was sigh contentedly and smile up at him. Using what little strength you had left in you, you reached up to cup his stubbled jaw. Bucky leaned into your touch, pressing his lips to the pad of your thumb as you ran it over his plush lips.

His hair was a mess, locks going in every direction from where you had fisted your hands in it, pulling it as he had thrusted you into oblivion. In your eyes, he could never look better than he did right after he had cum inside of you.

And lately, that had been pretty much constantly. After China, he made good on his request to Tony for some time off, and the two of you had been doing your absolute damnedest to make up for all your lost time.

“You’re so pretty after you fuck,” you told him, your mouth letting out words long before your brain could determine if it was a good idea to say them. 

Bucky dropped his chin to his chest and let out a low laugh. “Thanks, sweets,” he said, leaning down to kiss you softly. “So are you. Always thought you were the prettiest thing I’d ever seen, from the moment I first saw you.”

“The very first moment you saw me?” you asked him with a smile. “Cause I’m pretty sure I had a gun pointed at you the very first time.”

Bucky chuckled as he lowered himself down to lay next to you, his forehead pressed against your temple. “Honestly, I wondered if you even remembered that. We never talked about it.”

“Well, if it helps, had I known you gave such good dick, I never would have pulled the trigger.” 

Bucky laughed and wrapped his forearm across your breasts, pulling you closer to him. “You should have seen yourself, doll. Up on the ramp of that jet, standing up to two super soldiers all by your lonesome? You were a vision; it was hot as fuck.”

You rolled your eyes and swatted at his arm. “Sure it was, Buck.”

He squeezed you lightly. “I’m serious, Pocket. You were out-muscled and out-numbered, but you held your ground, and you were sassy as fuck to Steve in the process.”

“Yeah, and got rendered unconscious for my efforts,” you said with a sad smile, remembering how Steve had knocked you out so he and Bucky could steal the Quinjet. “It all worked out, though, in the end,” you added as you snuggled up against him. “It brought us to right now, so I’m thankful for it.”

You felt the firm press of Bucky’s lips to your temple. “So thankful,” he agreed. “Though, if I could go back and change things…”

“I wouldn’t,” you interjected. You turned onto your side to look him in the eye. “If there was even the slightest chance that we wouldn’t end up here, right now, just like this, I wouldn’t change a thing.”

He smiled a lopsided, boyish grin at you that managed to light a fire in your core, and you reflexively rolled your hips against him. “Again, doll?” he asked with a laugh. “We’ve already been going at it for hours, but if you insist. We’ve got time before we have to go to dinner.”

“Shit!” You bolted upright and checked the time. You were scheduled to have dinner with Tony and Pepper in a little over an hour; there was no time to get caught up in another round of ‘What the ‘F’ Was It?’ with Bucky. “We need showers,” you told him as you rose to stand. Turning, you reached down a hand to help him up. “We probably stink of sex.” 

“I love it when we stink of sex,” Bucky said with a laugh as he followed you up the stairs to your master bedroom. “I like to think of it as a souvenir of time well spent.”

“I don’t know how many times I have to tell you, Buck,” you said with a playful roll of your eyes, “other people don’t want to smell it on us.” You moved to your closet and began pulling out clothes to wear to dinner.

Bucky came up behind you, wrapping his hands around your waist. “We could shower together, you know,” he said, kissing your shoulder. “Save time and water. Very economical of us.”

Ugh, the man was a menace! “You know very well,” you began as you slid out of his grasp and put some safe distance between the two of you, “that if we do that, we are just going to fuck in there, and we’ll be late for dinner.” It wasn’t a theoretical concern of yours; you’d learned the hard way long ago, and after getting reamed out by Tony and Steve Rogers in front of the entire team for missing an important mission briefing, the rule ‘no shared showers if we have somewhere to be' had to be established.

You went first, seeing as it would take you longer to get ready than it would Bucky, but you were in and out in almost no time, putting on your silk robe as Bucky moved to get in. 

“Last chance to join me,” he said with a teasing wink. 

“Go clean yourself off, you filthy beast,” you laughed, playfully shoving him into the bathroom. 

He’d just started the water when you heard the unfamiliar sound of your doorbell ringing.

You padded down the steps, curiosity getting the better of you. Most of the people who visited you had the code for the private elevator and would bypass the door all together. Standing on your toes, you looked through the peephole. On the other side, rocking back and forth on the heels of their feet, stood an attractive, but anxious looking, young woman with thick, light brown hair. You’d probably put her at a handful of years younger than you, if you had to guess. 

She didn’t look like a potential threat, but you could never be too careful. “Who is it?” you called through the door.

“Um…” the woman said uncertainly, “my name’s Caity Wallace? I live in the apartment below you?”

Like a puzzle piece slotting into place, you were hit with a jolt of recognition; you’d briefly met her in the lobby around the time you’d first moved in. Opening the door, you smiled warmly. “Caity, hi. What can I do for you?”

She eyed your robe and quirked an eyebrow. “Listen,” she said anxiously, “I really didn’t want to do this, but I kinda feel like you’re not leaving me a choice anymore.”

You stared back at her, puzzlement written all over your face. “A choice in what?” you asked hesitantly.

“Could you… fuck, this is so embarrassing, but could you, I dunno, maybe… not have such… loud… sex… so often?” At the astonished look on your face, she hurried to add, “I mean, I think it’s great that you’re so… liberated, with all your guys, I’m definitely not trying to slut shame you or anything, it’s just… well, I can hear the furniture banging across the floor, and you scream a lot, and–”

“Wait,” you said, caught by something she’d said. “What do you mean ‘all my guys’? There’s just one it guy.”

Caity’s eyes got comically wide. “WHA–I mean… how?! I mean, no offense, but you’re always going at it. There’s no way one guy’s got that much stamina. To be honest, at first I thought you were filming porn up here or something.”

You ducked your head to hide your laugh. “It’s just the two of us,” you assured her. “My boyfriend and I were apart for a long time, so I guess we’re kind of in a honeymoon phase?”

Caity nodded, her eyes wide.

A floorboard squeaked somewhere behind you, and you turned to see Bucky, making his way across the living room, fresh from his shower, in only a towel. “Forgot my phone, sweets,” he said with that gorgeous lopsided grin. He noticed Caity in the doorway and froze like a deer caught in headlights.

“Oh, shit!’ he muttered, ducking himself behind a pillar and out of Caity’s line of sight. He popped his head out from around the corner. “Everything alright?”

It was cute how modest he became in the presence of another person. “Yeah, baby,” you told him. “Just a visit from our downstairs neighbor, Caity. You wanna come say hello?” You smirked as he shifted uncomfortably and scowled at you.

“Maybe another time,” he said, giving you a glare at your mischievousness and an apologetic wave to Caity. “When I’m actually wearing pants. You gonna be long?”

You smiled at him. “Nah, baby. I’ll be up in a minute.” He nodded and winked at you before turning away.

Turning back to Caity, you were amused to see her eyes following Bucky as he retreated back up the stairs, her mouth slightly agape.