it's quiet uptown

               task 01 - camper file

     you didn’t ask me to stay before.  benny’s words left hadley feeling hollow.  like the air got knocked out of him and left nothing in its wake.  an excuse died on his tongue, but then he spoke again and hadley remembered that he was determined to fight for them.  “i wanted to give you space,”  he finally replied, and he hated how weak and unsteady his voice sounded.  he knew tears were building, it was only a matter of time.  “y — you were so mad, and i …  i came back the next day to apologize, and you were gone.”  

     hadley swiped furiously at his eyes, but it didn’t do much to stop the tears from falling.  he buried his face in the crook of benny’s neck instead.  there was some sick irony in his ex-boyfriend being a literal shoulder to cry on right now, and he was dimly aware of it.  but benny’s hands were in his hair and on his back and that attracted his full attention.  “i miss you so much,”  he croaked out.  taking a deep breath, as if the outpour of emotion had physically exhausted him.  hadley finally got the courage to prop himself up a little and look benny in the eyes again.  his throat tightened when he saw that benny’s eyes were as wet and reddened as his.  “i don’t wanna miss you anymore, ben.  i don’t wanna miss us.  i just — i wanna be us again.”

benny reached up to cup hadley’s face with both hands, thumbs wiping away the tears as he gives the other a small watery smile. “ then let’s be us again, “ he whispers, feeling his stomach tighten at the thought that hadley might say no. “ take me back and we can try again. we can be us again. “ he sits up, gently so as to not disrupt hadley too much. he moves forward to clasp the other’s hands and takes a deep breath. he was about to do something he never thought he would do in this lifetime.

out of all the faces she had missed at the big welcome-back bonfire, the one lorelai had just spotted from across the green was definitely in the top three (right below her siblings). with a running start, the hug she swept the son of apollo into could have very well knocked them both to the ground if she wasn’t such a calculated person. arms still wrapped tightly around the boy, she practically shouted, “benny soleil, i’ve missed you to the moon and back!”

@scnbrshed

deacon glanced around, noting all the discarded cups still underfoot, and raised an eyebrow back at benny.  “ half of them are littered, half of them are burning. it really does seem like they’re doing the bare minimum to evade getting caught, I guess. “  he knew you’d only need to walk a few more yards out of the immediate firelight to find some freedom from the solo cups and the havoc they wrought, but he shook his head all the same, tone roping benny into his commiseration.  “ you’re  —  honestly,  probably right. I’d like to think better of our peers, but vanilla and peppermint are always preferable to burning plastic. “

“But - wha - no - this is my -” Andres sighed heavily and audibly as Benny slid under the blanket. It wasn’t worth it to evict him from the blanket, and as soon as the sun-kissed skin touched his own, he felt that warmth that Benny brought. It wasn’t fair, being warm all the time. It made Andres almost hungry for him to scoot even closer, but he staunchly refused to throw an arm around him or anything, since he’d been invaded instead of invited. He purposefully put both of his hands in between his knees, cradling his cup. He let Benny hold up the other side of the blanket now. But he couldn’t stop the goosebumps from rippling across his arms at the sudden warmth. 

“Please don’t call me andy,” Andres said, skipping over the bigger, more emotionally charged parts of Benny’s diatribe. He would not feel pity for the cocksure apollo boy. He would not. “And please tell me you didn’t cheat on him,” Andres added, knowing there was only one boy who could dump Benny, and it happened to be one of Andres’s closest friends at camp. “Because if you hurt him, I am honor bound to summon you to duel and kill you,” Andres pointed his chin skyward, “He’d have it no other way. And we both know I’d win a duel.”

     benny moved away instantly when andres accused him of cheating on hadley, crossing his arms as he made sure there was a few feet of distance between them. “ fuck off, andres. i didn’t cheat on him , you’re such an asshole. “ the other stared into the fire, feeling the tears starting to well up in his eyes before he quickly rubbed at his eyes till the feeling went away. this was something benny had become use to, this feeling that without hadley, benny had no real friends at camp. there was this idea that benny had made himself isolated, being alone in cabin seven and then the breakup with hadley that seemed to make it all worse. 

as oliver enjoyed the feast from the comfort of the cabin four table, he couldn’t help but notice the empty tables. he knew the camps numbers would be down, but actually seeing it put a damper on things. so after bidding his siblings farewell, he collected his plate and set off in search of a lonely soul. it wasn’t long before he spotted the lone male at the apollo table, a small smile appearing across his face as he took a set. “hope you don’t mind, i just thought the table looked empty,” he explained, a hesitant smile appearing across his face. “you play the lyre? that’s amazing!”

     hadley tried his hardest not to react whenever benny replied.  he wasn’t sure what to expect, but he had really hoping it would have been a simple yes, or maybe even an enthusiastic maybe.  but then again, he didn’t feel as though he deserved that.  benny had every right to be afraid.  his face betrayed him, though, and he couldn’t stop it from contorting into a twist of hurt and sadness.  he blinked back tears that threatened to fall, and he tensed in benny’s grip.  god, he was a fucking wreck.  

     but then benny spoke again, and suddenly it didn’t hurt so much.  that pain, that longing was still there, but as much as it wasn’t a yes, it wasn’t a no, either.  hadley nodded his head as he worried at his lip.  gods, benny had every right to be afraid of that.  “i know.  i know, and you’re right to think that, but.  you won’t, i promise.”  but hadley was afraid, too.  he tilted his head forward until it was resting in the crook of benny’s neck.  “i really wanna try this again, ben.  i just — i’m scared, too. i’m scared you’ll leave again.”  it took everything in him not to say leave me again but that felt possessive and wrong.  more than anything else, he just wanted benny back in his life.  whatever way possible.  trying to ease the tension, he placed a gentle kiss along his collarbone.  after a second, though, he couldn’t contain himself and began sucking lightly on that same spot.  “miss you so much, ben.”

    benny listened, arms wrapping around hadley and balling into small fists against his t-shirt. he knew he should’ve bit his tongue but he couldn’t stop himself before it slipped out, “ you didn’t ask me to stay before. “ the words feel harsh in the air, not in his tone but rather in the sense of he had just let a secret out and now it was sitting in the air between them showing that benny still wasn’t entirely over what had happened. “ when i left in the winter. i wanted you to ask me to stay and you never did. i just, i want you to want me here too. “ his voice is wavering now and he stares at the ceiling so he doesn’t have to look at hadley, so he doesn’t see the tears forming in the corners of his eyes. 

   “ if i say all the aphrodite kids would that be too mean? kidding. maybe. “ 

   “ that i’ve become afraid of the fact we all have a fucking time clock above our heads that won’t let us make it out of our twenties. “ 

     “ why can’t this sunny personality be the one that IS the real me? i don’t know why we seem to think you can’t just be an optimistic person, you have to be hiding a dark alter ego underneath. “

“ can i say myself or too dark? “

   “ i just go all the way into the middle of the woods and scream. just scream until it’s all absolutely out, then go back and be peachy fine. “

 “ you’re in the running.  hecate wins most ambiguous — i always feel like she’s kinda like yoda ?  super mystical and vague and knows a lot about everything ever.  athena wins most likely to never get caught for murder. ”  

“no no no, that was never explicitly stated!” she countered. “please, we all know that you wouldn’t.” sam teased, then stopped with a raise of her brow. “don’t drag my brother into this, benny. don’t make me kick your ass.” it was said with a straight face, but there was obviously a joke beneath it.