Sci Fi Football

Jacob Rees-Mogg: Veritas ex Intestinis

Dear Underlings,

It will not have escaped your attention that the Style Guide I introduced to the office has made it’s way into the national media. It is a statement of regrettable fact that I have received a great deal of mockery from so-called experts. Experts, soothsayers, astrologers are all in much the same category. Do you think that I consulted experts before moving my hedge fund to…

Daenerys’ Dark Side

Spoilers for S8E01 ahead.

I wasn’t as excited as some were going into the final series of Game of Thrones, because I wasn’t completely optimistic about the creators’ ability to end the show successfully. After seeing the season opener, I now am.

In seasons 6 and 7 the revenge against Walder Frey felt rushed, the Arya and Sansa v Littlefinger plot wasn’t well-handled (though it had a fantastic…

In Pursuit of Glory

A heart beats beneath a trio of lions.

Hope. Excitement. Belief. Disbelief.

The future lies unwritten. Glory is plausible.

Glory is within reach.

It is a dream, and most dreams fail.

Most dreams fade.

Most dreamers cannot force their dream onto reality.

Most dreamers lack the wit, the invention.

A dream is a glimpse of a purer world:

A world of larger-than-life heroes,

A world where…

I’m aware that England probably aren’t going to win the world cup. We’re probably going to fall short in some way. But today, we can dream.

As a Hartlepool and England fan, I don’t have much experience of winning things. But sometimes the experience of pursuing glory is its own reward.

In 2005 I felt frustration when Hartlepool lost a playoff final to Sheffield Wednesday, but also intense pride…

The Lobster is King

Lobsters have a patriarchy

Therefore patriarchy is natural.

It’s science.

We should embrace the natural order

And force the honeybee to do the same.

.

Witches are real:

They live in swamps.

Be precise in your speech.

.

Nationalise the vagina.

Enforced monogamy is necessary.

I will not use the pronoun ‘they’.

It is authoritarian to force me to be polite.

.

Marxism is on the rise.

Postmodern neo-Marxism.

Postmodern neo-Marxist Cultural Bolshevikism.

Words no longer have meaning.

.

Dragons are real.

They are a category.

Like predators are a category.

Be precise in your speech.

.

The sexual marketplace must be rigged,

To compensate for male brutality.

Lives would be saved:

Elliot Rodger could have been prevented

By a National Courtesan Service.

(Maybe not Omar Mateen,

But no system is perfect.)

It is conscientious for women to be agreeable.

.

This is science.

This is logic.

This is rationality.

Clean your room to ensnare a Chaos Dragon.

.

Men are violent.

Women must pay the price.

But be careful not to say that:

The Lobster is King

Lobsters have a patriarchy Therefore patriarchy is natural. It’s science. We should embrace the natural order And force the honeybee to do the same. Witches are real: They live in swamps. Be precise in your speech. Nationalise the vagina. Enforced monogamy is necessary. I will not use the pronoun ‘they’. It is authoritarian to force me to be polite. Marxism is on the rise. Postmodern…

Jessica Jones season two review

Genre-wise Jessica Jones is a mashup between the superhero and noir genres. When time came to choose between the conventions and traditions of the two, the first season ended up leaning more towards its superhero influences. Despite the hero’s bad choices and the show’s moral complexity, season one had Kilgrave as a clearcut villain – the season’s final arc followed the traditional superhero…

Fans Demand Return of Lara Croft's Pointy Breasts

Fans Demand Return of Lara Croft’s Pointy Breasts

Ahead of the release of the new Tomb Raider film, superfans are complaining because the new Lara Croft’s breasts aren’t triangular enough. Though originally a result of a design error, Lara’s breasts quickly became an iconic element of the franchise, just as much as drowning in the swimming pool on the training level while trying to work out how to resurface. Or maybe that was just me. While it…

. Yesterday, during the weekly Prime Ministers’ Question Time, Theresa May accused Jeremy Corbyn of ‘mansplaining’ to her about International Womens’ Day. I think it’s a good way to illustrate a bugbear of mine – the loose interpretation of the word ‘mansplaining’. There isn’t, as far as I can see, anything in Jeremy Corbyn’s…

Review – Black Panther

Given that Black Panther has become a cultural phenomenon, there’s been a lot of hype and backlash around the discussion of the film. Stripping all that away, how good is it? Firstly it’s a good example of an action adventure – the characters are likeable and spark off each other; there’s a compelling story that flows through the film and doesn’t overstay its welcome; the locales (in both Wakanda…

At the weekend (on Saturday February 17th) the BBC aired a special about Mel Brooks – Imagine…Mel Brooks: Unwrapped. As well as new material it included archive interviews, including this great quote:

You can’t make a successful comedy that doesn’t have any passion. It will not be successful. You’ve got to say something about the system. About the social structure. About prejudice, about people, about behaviour. Comedy is not successful unless it deals with… even Laurel and Hardy, you could say they were cheap comedies, they have to deal with the system. The Marx Brothers always dealt with the system.

Once a month the nation bow their heads. One nation under God. Check the killer’s skin: Is it ‘seal the borders’ Or is it ‘nothing could be done’?

Thoughts and prayers. Think and pray. Do not act. The nation could be torn apart, If someone were to act.

A sacrifice to Freedom, The true god of America. The freedom to tear flesh from bodies at 1200 feet. The freedom to end the lives of others on a whim. The freedom to make one’s rage another’s problem. The freedom to become important.

Jehovah does not live here. One nation under Freedom. Human sacrifice is demanded And the great god is appeased.

A gun in every classroom, A sniper in every tree. When paranoia and chaos reign, All men shall be Free.

- David Stringer