"Woomy!"

When I first started playing Bugsnax in December 2024, I fell in love with the game. I adored all the little creatures you could catch, and the colorful Grumpuses with their distinct personalities. I love Filbo and Gramble, but the Grumpus who spoke to me the most was one Snorpy Fizzlebean.

In that same month, I was prescribed my first antipsychotic by a psychiatrist. We ended up not working together, but he made something clear to me - I was in a psychosis.

2024 was one of the worst years for me. I'd broken up with my abusive partner in 2023 and had been spiralling since. During those two years, I'd convinced myself that I had alternate personalities, and that there were cameras installed in the walls of my house. I was attending university at the time, which I later dropped out of with only one semester left to get my Bacherlor's degree.

At school, I believed that students were following me in the hallways, that my entire English class (including the professor) was going to gang up on me and kill me, and that people were listening to me use the bathroom with the intent to sexualize it - that last thing is something my ex-partner did.

In late 2025, I was diagnosed with schizophrenia. And in early 2026, I was reevaluated as having schizoaffective disorder, depressive type. When I have episodes, they last for months at a time. I have hallucinations, delusions, and become extremely depressed to the point of having SI. Sometimes I get close to acting on that intent.

(Image credit: PepperSupreme on the Bugsnax Wiki)

What does all this have to do with Snorpy?

Well, I believe that Snorpy is living with some kind of psychotic disorder, most likely schizophrenia because he doesn't seem to have any mood symptoms. Sure, he's written as a conspiracy theorist, but so much about how he behaves really hits home for me.

The Sweet Tooth! quest got to me. Specifically, this line from Snorpy: "The Grumpinati are using the Kwookies to trace my dental fillings. But if my teeth ARE Kwookies, the resulting counter-signal will make my location untraceable!"

That is EXACTLY what I sound like when I'm psychotic.

In September 2024, I attended a dentist appointment while in active psychosis without realizing it. I was very deep in my delusions at this time. I thought that the dentists were installing tracking devices between my gums, and that the fluoride treatment sealed them in. The radio overhead was communicating to me through music, telling me that I couldn't speak about any of this out loud. Because if I did, then I would be tortured by the devices shocking my gums.

In Bugsnax after the journalist gives Snorpy two Kwookies, he sounds gleeful about finding a way to disable the signal. He truly believes in all of these conspiracies, that the Grumpinati is after him. I can't help projecting my own pain onto him. Did he lose sleep out of fear, knowing that his every move was being watched? Did he walk on eggshells with what he said, worried about triggering something dangerous in the Kwookies spying on him?

It's made clear by Bugsnax's characters and the narrative that Snorpy is somewhat of an agoraphobe. He rarely leaves the safety of his cabin, because he lives in fear and delusion. It's stated in canon that Snorpy spends much of his time inventing tools to fend off the Grumpinati or otherwise evade them.

When I'm psychotic, I barely leave my room except to eat and use the bathroom, sometimes to shower. This is a sign for other people that I'm in an episode - I don't always recognize it myself. The longest I've gone without showering in recent years is 3 days, which is a lot for me because I try to shower every day or so.

For me, it's a combination of depression and psychosis that locks me in my room. The two feed into each other, which makes a horrible cycle. My depression gets worse because the psychosis makes it hard to want to stay alive, and I develop delusions to do with my own death, which just adds fuel to the fire.

My favorite part of the game with Snorpy in it (sort of) is the DLC, the Isle of Bigsnax. Even though he doesn't go to Broken Tooth, he's still present in the story, mainly through Chandlo and Floofty.

Floofty reveals that Snorpy's paranoia started out as understandable cautiousness after the smear campaign against the two of them. Over time, it grew into something out of control that Snorpy can't fix on his own.

This is true to real life, including mine - trauma and/or stress can be initial causes for psychosis in people prone to it, as well as triggers for future episodes. And they can't be treated effectively without outside help.

Before I was medicated, my episodes would eventually go away and I'd be able to look back on how unwell I was, but that wasn't doing anything to solve them.

There's no magic pill to make your brain revert back to a pre-psychotic state, and all medication comes with varying side effects. For me, I've dealt with excessive tiredness and a restricted appetite but by far, the worst has been the weight gain.

On my last antipsychotic, I gained 23 lbs in 2 months.

I won't say how much I weigh now, but I will say that I'm rather overweight and don't exercise much. I'm not ready to weigh myself on this new antipsychotic, out of fear that I'm still having that side effect.

(Image credit: Unidentified Harrier on YouTube)

"That boy needs therapy" - Shelda.

Oh man. Therapy.

Therapy has been a huge hit or miss for me. I've had therapists and psychiatrists be dismissive, hide information from me, and use ChatGPT during sessions. One therapist I was seeing for OCD made an unwanted sexual comment towards me after I disclosed my CSA to him (actually what the fuck). I was too in shock to report him for harassment.

But, I've also had a few good therapists that actually listen to what I'm saying and are normal! Yay!! My current therapist and I are still getting accustomed to each other, but we get along well so far.

As for Snorpy, someday I'll write a self-indulgent fanfic about him going to therapy that like 10 people will read.