Life on rollercoaster

petty

dramatic

Not Straight

doesn’t really moralize

would live on top of a perfectly climbable mountain and only descend to seduce pretty girls and mess with stuff

« Iron Bull ».

«  - I think you finally decided whether you care about your people or your people. - Hmm… something like that. - You made the right choice.  »

Aries: Oh BTW I’m taking Katelin to court tomorrow and you’ll be my wintess. We’ll be accusing her of murder

Taurus: Richard and I were having an affair and I needed a way to get rid of the bagel. There. That’s the truth.

Gemini: I’m building a panic room in my basement. It’s gonna be fun. Oh update on my beard: It swallowed a small child yesterday

Cancer: You’re scaring me, soup lady

Leo: Ok cool story I was about to sneeze and I was putting my elbow up to my face to cover it but then I fucked up and accidentally punched my jaw and now I don’t have to sneeze

Virgo: Stop sending me memes at 8:40 at night daughter you’re ruining this family

Libra: Dude the guy who was telling about this one girl who found out she was getting cheated on so she took the guys ring and put it in a clamp vice and smashed it and I was next to Katelin so I told her that if a guy ever cheated on me I would do the same thing with his dick and everyone in the row stared at me

Scorpio: THEY WEREN’T GAY (maybe)

Sagittarius: Attention bitch I’m starting up a mafia business and I’m the boss. Who wants to be my lil mini me?

Capricorn: There was only ONE screaming pile of baby there: you

Aquarius: Whatever is in Pikachu’s pants doesn’t determine shit boi