I can't take it

(sorry for the res)

Honestly, being trans has it’s ups and downs. I’m relatively young, so I have dealt with hate from my peers for years about it. Being trans and gay is the core of my identity, so any other labels or groups I’m part of need to have space for me to be myself. I left the christian church as a kid before I was even baptized, and I’ve spent the last few years trying to find a new religious identity.

In eighth grade, I had a panic attack (they were often daily, due to the amount of stress I was in, and it eventually put me in the ER) I was on the floor of my history class crying, and not allowed to go eat lunch. My teacher continuously told me “you’re a young woman, stop acting like a little kid. stop being so immature” (keep in mind, i was only barely 13) at this point, I was covering my ears yelling “I’m a boy, I’m a boy” over and over, but nobody would listen and basically went “the whiny little girl wants to be a boy”

but not all of my experiences have been bad! I go to a support group, where I met my best friend, and when we made a new trans friend, we got to bring him to the group too! its like a big family there, and I can trust them with anything.

If I could get cis people to understand one thing about being trans, it’d be that we are not a subcategory of binary genders. My gender itself is not “Trans man” but just “man” Having to identify trans people, but not cis people, means that we can more actively face bigotry or discrimination. Separate but equal is not truly equal.

If i could go back in time, I’d tell my younger self to stop worrying when people called her a boy. Even though it felt like she was being a girl wrong, she wasn’t. and the situation was only temporary.