The littler jumpscare

Even folks on the pro-porn side of the aisle often talk like it's the presence of narrative that makes porn an art form, as though the erotic needs to be explicitly justified in order to elevate it from the mere mechanical production of arousal, and it always makes me feel like maybe we're not quite as "pro" as we think we are.

I once saw a video of a woman staring expressionlessly into the camera while jerking off a strap-on the size of her own forearm and wearing panda themed one-piece pajamas complete with little bear ears on the hood, and I feel like it would have been lessened as art if it had attempted to explain itself.

they should make an accidentally injuring yourself that doesn’t hurt

eveyrbody suck my dick im so upset

Instead of beating the dead horse beat your meat!!!!!! 👍👍❤️🌹

when life gives you lemons you squeeze them into your open wounds

jerking off is gay because you’re the same gender as yourself

a masterlock? bro you are practically free-use

had a dream i found a tape labelled “sex tape” and when i played it in a vcr it was just two fully clothed guys beating the shit out of each other with metal bats

blood spray is just another kind of cumshot

awesome that you can form a bond through gay sex which neither of you are engaging in, you're just both thinking about it really hard