Ramblings of a 20 something brit

James and you had been friends since, well as since long as you could remember. You had lived on the same street, gone to the same schools, played in the streets on your bikes when you were 8, played in the local park between the ages of 10 and 12. When you both hit 13 everyone assumed you would both either stop being friends or would fall romantically in love. Neither of those happened at least not right away. You two carried on hanging around each-others houses, playing video games and watching movies. Bucky had always been fiercely protective over you, his blue eyes narrowing at anyone who dared to pick on you when you were younger. His eyes would light up when you walked into the room, he loved Friday nights saved just for the pair of you to watch cheesy horror films, lounge around his sofa and stuff your faces with popcorn.

2008

Everything changed when you were 15, you and Bucky had always been inseparable, when no one asked you to combined Prom in your Freshman year, Bucky had surprised you. Showing up at your house dressed in a suit and tie with a white rose corsage, his long brown hair slicked back. You walked downstairs in your ballet slipper pink chiffon dress, your locks twisted into an intricate bun, this was the first time you’d worn heels and you nearly missed the bottom step when you saw Bucky in his Grey Suit stood in your living room. Bucky had tried out for the football team and obviously to no ones’ surprise had become the Star QB. As a result of that Bucky’s grey suit stretched across his muscular frame. Once you’d saved yourself from falling face-first down the last stair you walked over to Bucky grinning like a fool. “Bucky, what, what are you doing here? I thought you were going with Sam and Pietro and the rest of the football team” you said. “Well, I couldn’t leave my best girl flying solo at our first prom now, could I?” Bucky grinned down to you. “Besides the rest of the guys were meeting dates at the dance, so I told them I’d meet them there with you” you felt yourself blush at Bucky’s term of endearment. You and Bucky posed for photos for your Mum and Dad, your Dad trusted Bucky like his own son so there was no awkward father stare down there, you even had your curfew extended to 2 am.

The prom itself was magical, Bucky introduced you to his teammates and their dates. Sam was there with a cheerleader, Jane Foster she was friends with the cool alternative girl Wanda Maximoff who was Pietro’s twin sister they were Sophomores but made you feel welcome at their table. Complimenting your hair and shoes. Pulling you onto the dancefloor to dance with them and the rest of the cheerleaders and co to the pumped-up pop songs that blasted out. The way the gym had been transformed was nothing short of breath-taking, led fairy lights strung up in waves from the ceiling, silver stars hanging against the velvet blue backdrops made you believe you were spending the night under the stars. When the music changed to a slow song -Tim McGraw by an up-and-coming artist Taylor Swift. The Group of girls surrounding you soon dissipated to slow dance with their respective others. You started to make your way back to the table you’d been sat at, happy to finally take a breather when you felt someone tug on your wrist. You turned around fully prepared to slap whatever creep had felt it suitable to touch someone they didn’t know but your face softened to find the familiar blue-eyed, muscular brunette smirking at you. “Miss Y/N” may I have this dance?”, he asked. “Why certainly, MR James Buchanan Barnes” you replied chuckling to yourself. Bucky cocked an eyebrow at the use of his full name before pulling you tight towards him. He wrapped your arms around his neck before wrapping his around your waist. Your breath caught in the back of your throat, you and Bucky had never been this intimate, sure still hugged and had kissed each other on the cheek when you were like 5, but this felt different. The way Bucky enveloped you, the scent of his aftershave mixed with his mum’s washing powder he smelt like cherry blossom mixed with sandalwood. You rested your head on Bucky’s chest, closing your eyes deciding to take this all in. A small smile tugged on your lips as you felt Bucky stroke your hips. You didn’t know it, but he looked at you with such love and adoration and his heart squeezed watching you rest your head on his chest the smile on your pale pink lips. Bucky moved his right hand from your waist and brought it to your cheek, slightly stroking it before lifting your face to look him in the eyes. His eyes shone with affection; his eyes so blue like the ocean you felt like you were drowning in them. Then his lips were on yours crashing against your slightly chapped lips, you cursed yourself for not wearing Chapstick like the cheerleaders and Wanda did. However, as the kiss deepened, and you felt Bucky’s left-hand grip on you together and you melted into the kiss everything else faded away. Bucky drew back and looked at you. Your smile dazzling him as your eyes shone back at him. Neither of you said a word as he pulled you back to his chest whilst the DJ played another slow song.

2009 - 2010

Bucky and you dated from the end of your Freshman year right up until the summer before your senior year. Bucky and you had been inseparable for most of your High School life, he even convinced you to try out for the cheerleading squad in your Junior year, usually you sat on the Side-lines with Wanda and Carol Danvers, it wasn’t that you didn’t want to be a cheerleader it's just you were comfortable being “Bucky’s Girl” the one everyone knew without being in the spotlight, however after Wanda and Carol egged you on saying that you had the moves you went for it. You surprisingly made the squad. You couldn’t wait to tell Bucky, warmth spreading through your cheeks at the thought of how he’d be so proud. You decided to keep it quiet until you had your uniform. Jane and the girls had also promised to keep their mouths shut until you’d had the chance to surprise him. So, when homecoming rolled around, and you got your uniform for the first time you went along to the locker rooms where the football team would be heading off to change before the big pep rally. You stood against the wall one foot pressed against it, your knee bent whilst you waited. You heard Sam and Pietro before you saw them. They turned the corner roughhousing one another playfully. “Looking good Y/N” Sam shouted as he clocked you in your brand-new uniform. “looks like Bucky’s personal cheerleader now cheers for us all,” he said walking over to you and enveloping you in a hug. You giggled and at that moment Bucky Turned the corner with Peter Parker a freshman. He couldn’t see your uniform from the way that Sam’s body was covering yours, but he saw your face and started running down the hallway to you. As Sam and Pietro headed inside, he finally got to see the big reveal, he stopped in his tracks for a second. His eyes taking in every inch of your body, the skirt shorter than anything you owned, the top hugging your curves. He ran over to you picking you up and spinning you in the air as you squealed. “I knew you could do it Doll,” he said as he peppered kisses over your head, cheek, and lips. You blushed at his praise. Your Junior year with Bucky was a blur, between the football games, classes, parties’ dates with Bucky you felt like time was rushing past. You Even won Prom King and Queen at your Junior Prom. To no one’s surprise. However, that summer everything changed.

Summer 2010

You were on holiday with your family, visiting your grandparents in Miami. Every year you for as long as you could remember you and your family would spend the last 3 weeks of summer break at your grandparents. You had begged Bucky to come with you as he had in the past, however, due to football camp, he had been unable to swing it. “Hey, I’m sorry doll, it’s just coach said if I didn’t go he wouldn’t consider me for team captain,” he said hugging you from behind as you sat on your porch steps, his chin resting on your head. He had sworn to you that you would text every day and would skype at least once a week for the three weeks you were there. However, after the first week, Bucky’s texts had become less and less frequent. He’d only Skyped you once and you’d get texts from Various friends asking where you were as you weren’t at the latest party. On the final night of your holiday, as you walked along the beach by yourself taking in the last of the holiday feel your phone rang, you looked down it, confused when the caller Id said, Jane. “Hey, babe. Look I’m not sure how to say this” but uh we’re at a small party at Wanda and Pietro’s there’s about 15 of us, including this friend of mine Nat and uhm well, Bucky’s pretty wasted and well after I noticed I hadn’t seen him for a while I went looking for him”. Jane’s voice sounded stressed. You squeezed your eyes shut as tears tried to escape, not liking where this was going. “And uh, oh god I’m really sorry girl, but I, I kind of walked in on them fucking” Jane blurted it out, going for the band-aid approach as if saying it quicker would make it the cut sting any less. You didn’t say anything, you just stood there staring out the black ocean, the warm sand between your toes, feeling your heartbreak. You couldn’t believe it. Your sweet protective Bucky who had beaten up Miles Morales in 8th Grade for standing you up for an arcade date and breaking your heart. “I, I, I got to go my flights early tomorrow. My, my family will be wondering where I am” you stumbled over your words trying to get off the phone as quick as possible not wanting anyone to hear you cry.

Senior year was one of the most painful years, Bucky had met you at your house the day you got back, sitting on the wooden steps to your porch. He looked like he had barely slept, much like you. You were an only child, but your older cousin who was transferring to Michigan State University for his second year had come home with you. He took a look at Bucky and then back at you, you nodded telling him it was fine and that you had this. He walked inside but not before muttering punk under his breath. Bucky winced, he looked at you his blue eyes that once shone with nothing but love and adoration for you, now looked blank, empty, and almost unrecognisable. His brown hair which he had cut in his Sophomore year looked a mess. He started towards you, but you held your arm out.

“Don’t,” you said. He looked crestfallen and his heart shattered as you struggled to hold yourself together. “Doll, I’m so sorry, I don’t know what came over me, please, look at me, ill make it up to you, it will never happen again” he pleaded with you, his ocean blue eyes stared at your red brimmed eyes, cheeks puffy and streaked from all the crying over the last 16 hours. “Just don’t” You warned him. “Look, baby, it was a mistake, it meant nothing to me” he continued to plead despite your warning reaching out for your hand. His words hit you like a knife, you two hadn’t slept together yet and here he was claiming this meant nothing. You wrenched your hand free from him his touch burning you with his betrayal. “It meant nothing. It meant nothing!?! If it meant nothing you wouldn’t have slept with this Natasha James” you whispered. Bucky flinched at the use of his real name. Oh, how you wanted to shout, thrash scream at him and tell him you would forgive him, but you couldn’t. You had looked up the girls Instagram that night when you laid in bed crying and you couldn’t help but compare yourself to her the gorgeous read head with curves in all the right places. You started to walk towards your house. Unable to keep the tears back and not wanting to give him the satisfaction of seeing you cry, Bucky called out for you, pleading with you. “I thought you loved me James, but it clearly meant something to you, or else you wouldn’t have thrown away two years of dating and 12 years of dating for sex with someone that wasn’t me, we were meant to be each other’s firsts, but you decided you couldn’t wait to get your dick wet so you went and fucked this chick you’ve known for what 5 minutes?” you cried out in anger, Bucky flinched again as if you’d slapped him. “Actually, I met her last year at one of our away game parties” he mumbled, his feet kicking the dirt around his feet. “I think you should leave” you whispered, choking back a sob before you ran into your house slamming the door behind you.

You and Bucky barely spoke that entire final year of school, you had been voted cheer Captain at the end of the summer semester, much to Jane’s approval, and you loved being a cheerleader, so you threw yourself into that as well as the school’s production of Little Shop of Horrors. You cheered at the games putting on your show face and hyping up the crowds. You wowed in the role of Audrey in the show, avoided parties with the football team and buckled down focusing on your exams and audition for the performing arts programme at the University of Michigan. After Bucky had realised, he was never going to get you to forgive him he had ended up dating Natasha. The news hit you like a sucker punch to begin with but after meeting up with Wanda, Carol, and Jane during the spring break you made your peace with it. You even smiled at Bucky in the hallways when you saw each other. By the time Graduation rolled around you had healed.

November 2011

You ended up getting into the University of Michigan on a partial scholarship thanks to your cheerleading and you were enjoying the performing arts programme, the performing arts programme at the Uni had really blown up after the whole viral “A Very Potter Musical” back in 2009 and you were thrilled to be there. You had settled right in making friends with a young lad from your course Loki Laufeyson right away. He was attractive in an unconventional way, with long black hair, a tall skinny frame but he still had muscles. You two had been cast opposite each other in Romeo and Juliet during your first year and had become good friends. You even ran into Pietro frequently he had gotten a football scholarship and couldn’t believe his eyes when he saw you on the sidelines one November game. Pietro didn’t really “do” social media and hadn’t paid any attention to Wanda as you had told her, after Bucky’s betrayal you hadn’t spoken much with Sam or Pietro, after all, they were his friends and were now Uni students. “Well, well, well, if it isn’t Bucky’s girl,” he said grinning at you after the game, ruffling your hair like you were 5 again. You couldn’t help but wince at the old pet name, everyone in the group had called you it, Sam, Wanda, Carol even Jane but you hadn’t been Bucky’s girl for a year, well longer if you take into consideration the fact he’d been chatting with Natasha on and off for the entire year before they slept together. “It’s just Y/N” or you can call me cutie you said winking at Pietro, he chuckled. “How about I just call you tomorrow?” he retorted, you felt yourself blush. Pietro had always been a cocky confident guy, his silver-blonde hair covering his ice blue eyes, he had always been a hit with the ladies, but he seemed that bit more attractive, slightly leaner, still confident but not arrogant. You shrugged before pulling out a sharpie from your bag, you wrote down your number on his arm. He cocked his head puzzled. “I changed it last year after Bucky wouldn’t stop blowing it up with apology texts,” you said simply. Before Pietro could respond you ran off to join the rest of your squad and headed for the changing room.

True to his charm and word, Pietro called you the next day offering to be your personal guide and show you all the hidden beauty spots of the campus. You accepted; even though you had been here for two months already. You walked around the campus and had a great time, you felt yourself really relaxing and laughing at his corny jokes and the way he wiggled his silver eyebrows at you whenever he made a bad joke. You couldn’t remember the last time you laughed, and you meant really laughed, the kind of clutched over struggling to get air into your lung’s laughter that the Silver-haired, blue-eyed cutie gave you. By the time Pietro had finished his tour the sun was beginning to dip, he walked you back to your dorm ever the gentleman. However, this time when your hands brushed against each other he grabbed your hand and spun you around. His hand was cool and smooth, a stark difference to Bucky’s warm calloused hands. The pair of you walked back hand in hand in comfortable silence. When you got to your dorm you leant against your door, your eyes meeting Pietro’s ice blue eyes, the almost sparkled. Pietro positioned himself so that he had one hand above your head, the other to your side trapping you between the door and himself. He leant down and kissed you. It was soft and delicate, his cool lips sucking the air out of your lungs. He pulled away winking at you before he sauntered off to join his teammates at some frat party.

That was the beginning of a three-year relationship with Pietro, you two had been on multiple dates, some official, some were just bumping into each other at the same party and then spending the rest of the evening together all through November and early December of your first year. He even came to support you at your Cheerleading competitions. Neither of you had put a label on it, but he had changed his home screen to a picture of the pair of you, it was one captured by Peter Parker, funnily enough, he was visiting the Uni with his photography club and captured the moment Pietro had picked you up after the Wolverines won their 6th game. He spun you around before dropping you down and kissing your forehead. Pietro didn’t know that you had seen his home screen. However as you were both travelling home for the Holidays you had agreed to travel together, Pietro had offered to drive but you had refused. Telling him that it would be easier for you to drive as you would be running lines late and therefore you could swing by his apartment on the way out of town. It was only a short drive to Dearborn but with the extra holiday traffic, you estimated it would take at least an hour to get to your parents. You connected your iPod to the car via AUX and pulled up your playlist you had made for the drive. You avoided all Christmas songs, and you were sick of them they played everywhere you went. Instead, you opted for Taylor Swift, damn she had blown up since 2008.

After about 30 minutes of driving as you hit the peak of the holiday traffic, you leant over to turn down the volume of your music. Comfortable with the pace of the traffic, you turned your head to Pietro. “So,” you began. “What’s up Bunny?” Pietro asked snapping his eyes up from his phone. “Well, I just thought now might be a good time to talk, we’re obviously going to run into a lot of our old friends, and there’s no way Wanda won’t know something is going on here, and I, I saw your lock screen,” you said, you could feel yourself blush, there was something about Pietro, he made you feel like a high school sophomore all over again. “So you were wondering what we are?” the amusement in Pietro’s voice didn’t escape your notice, you could feel yourself getting embarrassed. Of course, he was a college Sophomore, you two had never had the exclusive talk, how could you be so silly. You stared straight ahead focusing on the slow-moving traffic. Oh god, you wanted to die. Pietro noticed the change in your demeanour and instantly felt bad, he grabbed your right hand from the steering wheel. “Hey Bunny, look at me,” he said softly, you turned your head to face him. “We are exclusive, we are a couple, I’m sorry you felt the need to ask, but I adore you, so we are a thing,” he said stroking circles on the back of your hand. You smiled and nodded to yourself.

Almost everyone had made it back for the Holidays, excluding a few people, Bucky, Carol, and Jane, they all had their reasons, but you couldn’t help but feel a little sad that Carol and Jane had been unable to make it back. Wanda was elated for you and Pietro, to your surprise she threatened Pietro and not you. Christmas break came and went all too quickly. Pietro even brought you a small gift even though he didn’t celebrate Christmas, what with being Jewish. He was also very touched at your gift a small, framed copy of the photo of his lock screen, only in black and white except for the ribbon in your hair, the number on his Jersey matching his number painted on your cheek. The next year also seemed to rush by, between keeping on top of your studies, your rehearsals for the play, football matches, nationals for your cheerleading competition. It felt like you had barely any time to breathe.

2012

The summer between your 1st year and 2nd year was a small respite, Pietro had decided to stay in his apartment for the summer, he had a summer job and you decided to stick around after trying out for a local theatres summer production of Grease, unsurprisingly you had been cast as Patty Simcox a cheerleader. “How ironic, my little cheerleader playing a cheerleader” Pietro joked. You just rolled your eyes at him, that night Pietro stayed in your dorm, you were going to have to move out for the summer, your roommate for the year had decided she was going to move into her Sorority House next year and was going home for the summer. You and Pietro were cuddled up on the sofa watching Grease, you had your legs over Pietro and the arm of the sofa. To your surprise, Pietro had confessed he’d never seen it and had asked you to watch it with him so he could see who you would be playing. You let out a sigh. “What’s up bunny?” he asked not taking his eyes of the movie, he was rubbing small circles on your legs. “Student housing emailed me today, they said since Sophie is moving out and going home for the summer. I can’t stay in my dorm this summer. I’m trying to figure out where to go as the apartment I want to rent isn’t available until August” you said, blowing your hair out of your face. “Move in with me for the summer,” Pietro said without skipping a beat. “We’re not going to be around much in the daytime, you’ve spent a lot of nights at mine recently and it’s just for the summer, theirs a spare bedroom where you can store your stuff, and Wanda will be visiting in 3 weeks, it’s no big deal,” he said as he continued rubbing circles on your legs. You stared at him for a moment, your mind racing. “Okay,” you said nervously biting your lip. “Okay, I’ll move in for the summer,” you said again this time sounding surer of yourself. You picked up the remote and pressed pause on the DVD. You and Pietro had been dating for most of the school year, and he had been nothing but a gentleman never pressuring you for more than you were comfortable with, he knew Bucky had hurt you and you still hadn’t had sex yet as a result of it. You stood up a peeled of your jumper, Pietro cocked his head with his cute, puzzled expression. You didn’t say anything, instead, you removed your athletic shorts leaving you in nothing but one of Pietro’s football jerseys and your panties. You walked to your bedroom. Pietro didn’t move. After a few moments of waiting for him to follow you walked to your door frame and coughed, Pietro looked at you. “Well, are you coming or not handsome?” you asked leaning against your frame, so his jersey rid up slightly exposing the skin of your stomach. Pietro chucked his phone on the sofa before throwing you over his shoulder. That night you and Pietro had sex for the first time.

December 2012

Summer came and went in a blur of a heatwave, and lots of sex. You moved into your apartment off-campus, you spent a lot of time hanging out with Loki between classes, throwing ideas back and forth for an original piece you had to work on for the spring showcase. Pietro and you would always ride to games together, with Pietro being in his third year, the team bus rides were no longer compulsory and as the college couldn’t afford for the squad to have a bus you had to make your own way to the away games anyway. You and Pietro had driven home for Winter break, your family had decided to head to Boston this year, that way your cousin could see his family, however as you and Pietro had a game two days after New Years it didn’t make sense for you to fly out for such a short period off time. This was your first Christmas in years where you wouldn’t be seeing your family, or even celebrating really. However, Wanda and her Mum had insisted Pietro bring you home with him for the winter break. So that was how you found yourself sat in Pietro and Wanda’s basement drinking beer and hanging out with the old gang along with some new faces. Carol had brought home her girlfriend Valkyrie, Jane and Sam were there, even Peter Parker who was now a senior was there he’d even brought his girlfriend Gwen with him. Wanda had brought home her Boyfriend James or Vision as he was affectionately known. Wanda was studying Fashion in NYC; Vision was studying IT and was a whiz with technology. You were cuddled up in the corner of the sofa with Pietro, he was playing some game with Sam and Peter and you were scrolling through your IG feed. Taylor Swift’s latest Album Red playing through the speakers. Pietro had groaned but with Sam being a secret Swifty he was quickly outvoted. You kissed Pietro’s cheek getting up to grab another bottle of beer each. You were technically underage for another few months, but Wanda’s mum had said if you were going to drink whilst you were here, she’d rather you did it under her roof in a safe controlled manner.

You heard him before you saw him. Being the gracious guest you are, you had noticed the beer was low in the fridge, so you were restocking it when you heard Bucky’s familiar laugh. You may have made peace with what Bucky had done but other than a quick congratulations and farewell at Graduation you hadn’t spoken since that summer back in 2010.

Bucky walked over to the fridge, you had changed your hair colour since you’d last seen him at Graduation in 2011, your usual hair was now a chocolate brown, you had your head in the fridge still when he coughed. “Hi I’m Bucky,” he said. You took a deep breath, grabbed three bottles of beer and pulled your head out of the fridge, turning around to face him. “I’m well aware who you are, Bucky,” you said handing him a beer. Bucky’s eyes widened as his ocean blue eyes reached yours. “Hey Buck,” you said softly. “Y/N. I didn’t recognise you” he grinned, moving to hug you. You let it happen, standing stiffly in his arms. “Yeah it's been a minute, how’s school, and Natasha, I heard you got into UDM?” you asked shooting him a smile before twisting the lid of your bottle. “Yeah, I did. Schools great kicking my ass a bit and Natasha and I broke up actually” he said avoiding eye contact with you. You and Bucky made polite conversation for a few minutes Pietro finished up his game with Sam and Peter, noticed you hadn’t returned so made his way over to you and Bucky. “Hey Bunny,” he said kissing the corner of your head before wrapping his arms around you. “Hey Buck, long time no see!” Pietro said. Bucky stood frozen for a few seconds processing what he had just witnessed. “Hey, Pietro Yeah. It's been a hot minute, so you two are a couple? You guys look cute congrats. Oh man, wow is that Peter over there? I barely recognise him I’m going to go say hey. Catch you guys later!” Bucky said practically running over to Peter. You turned around and kissed Pietro. “Come on Quicksilver, let’s see if I can beat you at Mario Kart,” you said pulling him over to the sofa.

December 2012 – August 2014

Winter break came and went. Your second year at Uni whizzed past. Pietro even joined you and your family for your annual summer vacation in Miami, your grandparents were getting on a bit so you decided to skip the summer production of Hairspray. By the time, your third year rolled around you and Pietro settled into a routine between school, studying, games and rehearsals you would steal kisses in the hallways, meet one another at classes with hot drinks, coffee for Pietro not that he needed a boost of energy and usually a hot chocolate for you. After football games, Pietro would drive you back to his apartment. If it were a rare free evening, you’d curl up with a movie at yours. Hanging onto the small moments of peace. You both knew Pietro was going to be moving to New York after he graduated. He’d been studying business and was going to start a fashion company with Wanda. You also both knew that long-distance wasn’t going to work, you’d been majoring in performing arts, but you had also been taking extra courses to help with a career in advertising as a backup. Saying your goodbyes to one another sucked ass. You and Pietro had left your annual Miami holiday a week early to spend a week in Florida visiting the Theme Parks, Wanda and Vision were also going to meet you there. Neither of you had grown up exceptionally wealthy, but Wanda and Pietro’s dad Max Eisenhardt had reached out to them a few years back and had insisted on paying for the four of you to have a group vacation. He had tried to convince Wanda and Pietro to book a holiday in Germany where he was living but they had refused. Pietro had already packed up his apartment and moved most of it back to his family home whilst you finished up school for the year. He had been staying with you for the summer before joining you on your vacation so when you headed to the airport it was time to say your goodbyes. “Be good Bunny, don’t cause too much mischief with Loki and stay in touch. I love you my little Bunny” he said wiping the tears from your eyes. You couldn’t say anything, so you just held him tight and cried.

Tagging the bestie @lannycleave because I have promised to write a sad Steve one as a way to punnish myself

You glance inside to see whether they're still waiting on their order, but you don't see them. Guessing that they're running late, you continue walking through the airport, shooting them a text to let them know you've arrived and that you're going to Duty Free to grab some oversized chocolate bars.

While you browse through the selection of chocolate, you can't help but notice the distant sound of two incredibly familiar voices. Rounding the corner, you see your favorite people standing at the jewellery counter, in a heated discussion. Curious and amused, you make your way over to them.

"She'd want it to be simple," Steve insists.

"It's a tiny little thing; we can afford for it to be flashy!" Bucky counters.

"I've been dating her longer; I know what she likes," Steve retorts.

Bucky gasps before hitting his shoulder. "That's mean. I know her just as well as you, and I know she'll much prefer this one!"

You look down at the counter, still undetected by the two of them, and see that they're arguing over rings. A plethora of different rings sit before them, and they're clutching onto one each. The man behind the counter looks exhausted as he refuses to take part in the debate while the boys continue to bicker.

Picking up a ring, you tap Bucky's shoulder. "I think this one is the best. The diamond matches both your eyes," You say lightly.

He turns to you for a second, takes the ring and shows it to Steve. "I don't know, babe, what do you think?" He asks the blond, having not even registered the fact that you're there because of how intensely focused he is on choosing a ring.

Steve is just as preoccupied as him, neither of them commenting on your presence. "It's nice, but a blue diamond? Wouldn't she want something more traditional?"

"No, she'd just want something that reminds her of you for when she's far away and missing you guys," You chime in with a smile.

Finally, they both look back at you, eyes wide. The realization finally hits them and they wrap their arms around you, squeezing you tight. The three of you cry out about how much you missed each other but the words are muffled and drowned out, but that doesn't matter. All that matters is that you're finally together again.

"I'm sorry we couldn't meet at you at the gate; Stevie wouldn't make his damn mind up," Bucky says, shooting him a glare.

"Me? Says Mr. Indecisive himself!" Steve shoots back.

"Both of you, shut up and just let me look at you," You order, cupping their cheeks in your hand as you make them look down at you. Taking in their pretty faces, you notice all the changes from last time. "You grew out your beard, Steve!"

"I told him he'd look good," Bucky says with a smirk. "And now we match."

"My bearded beauties," You coo, taking hold of their hands. "But what are you doing, getting a ring?"

They share a smile before looking back at you. "Today marks one year," Bucky reminds you. "We wanted to get you something special."

"And I guess that's gonna be this one," Steve says as he picks up the ring you chose. "You're sure?"

"It's perfect," You say. "Anything you guys gave me would've been perfect, you know that."

While the man behind the counter packs it up, you dig into your gym bag before pulling out two identical black boxes. The boys frown as you open them both up.

"I guess we have more in common than we thought, because I did the exact same," You say with a smile as you reveal the rings to them. "I was gonna wait til dinner tonight, but this still counts as our anniversary, no matter what time of day it is. Happy one year."

The boys look taken aback while you timidly place a ring on each of their fingers, the three of you huddled into a circle. Steve takes the ring you chose back from the man and gives Bucky a nod before slowly slipping it onto your finger, sending a shiver down your spine.

"I love you both so much," You whisper, afraid that if you speak any louder you'll burst into tears.

"I love you, dummy," Bucky whispers back. "And I love you, Stevie."

"And I love both my angels," Steve mumbles, rubbing your and Bucky's backs soothingly. "Nothing makes me feel as complete or as happy as when I'm with you two."

"Even when we're all exhausted, standing in Duty Free at 4am?" You ask him with a smile.

Steve grins back at you, nodding. "Even then, bunny," He promises.

You cling onto them both, still amazed at how peaceful their presence makes you feel. It doesn't matter what's going on at work or with your family; being with Steve and Bucky melts away your stress as you float in your bubble of love. No matter what, and forever.

JULY 2023, THE ATLANTIC OCEAN

"Happy birthday, Mr. President... happy birthday to you."

You and Steve burst into gleeful cheers as Bucky finishes his performance, half humored and half turned-on.

"That was amazing, Jamie," You say through laughter, tightly gripping the almost-empty bottle of champagne in your hand.

"You mean Marilyn," Steve corrects you with a snort, snaking his arm around your waist.

Bucky jumps down from the white, leather seats and grins, dropping the empty beer he was using as a microphone. "I hope you enjoyed it, Stevie," He says teasingly, walking over to stroke Steve's cheek before leaning in and whispering, "Happy birthday, daddy."

"Thank you, puppy," Steve mumbles, softly kissing his lips. "I thoroughly enjoyed the performance."

Throwing your head back over the railing, you let your eyes flutter shut as the sound of the waves gently crashing against the yacht fill your ears. You can also hear Bucky's soft laughs, and Steve lowly grumbling all the, no doubt, naughty things he wants to do him.

"Oh, shit, the letter!"

Your eyes shoot open at Bucky's rushed words, and you immediately sit up with a gasp. "Go get it, Jamie!" You exclaim, feeling your heart race.

"What's the big deal?" Steve asks nonchalantly as he sits back, resting his hand on your thigh while Bucky rushes into the cabin. "I mean, it's just another one of their newsletters."

"Sam said this one's important for us to read together," You remind him, tracing your fingers on his bare chest. "Maybe they're moving back home soon?"

"I doubt it, bun," He grumbles, squeezing your leg. "They're having the time of their lives. Kayla's starting to sound like a local."

"Got it!" Bucky announces as he runs back out, standing in front of you while tearing open the envelope. He scans the letter for a few moments, his eyes widening. "Holy shit."

"What is it?" Steve asks.

"Read it out loud!" You order, kicking his leg.

"Shit, uh..." Bucky swallows thickly before clearing his throat. "James Barnes, Y/N Y/L/N, and Steven Rogers, you are all cordially invited to the wedding of Mikayla Osei to Sam Wils-"

"Oh, my God!" You all but scream as you jump to your feet, followed swiftly by Steve.

"Seriously?" He questions, snatching the letter off of Bucky and reading it for himself.

"They're getting married!" You cheer, clapping your hands together before asking, "When's the wedding?"

JULY 2023, BONDI BEACH, SYDNEY

You lie on the sand, too drunk to care about it getting in your hair, staring up at the midnight sky. The stars twinkle, and you appreciate the rare view, noting that they shine brighter than the ones above America.

"I can't believe I just did that," Kayla says, her head touching yours as she lays in the same position. "I mean, I guess I always knew I'd end up married one day, but I didn't actually... like, actually believe it. And to Sam. God, I love him so much."

A grin makes it's way to your face and you can't help but laugh. "You know, it feels right for it to have ended like this. After all that drama, and romance, and how intense everything was... I'm so glad it's ended like this," You admit.

"It has not ended yet!" She corrects you, sitting up and lightly hitting your arm. "We still have so much life to live."

"I know, I know. It's the end of an era, though," You say, sitting up to lean back on your elbows as you look out to the ocean. "Everything's gonna change again. You and Sam are moving back to the States... I'm moving in with Bucky and Steve..."

"You are?" Kayla asks you excitedly. "But what about your job?"

"I spoke to Fury; there's a position opening up in the New York branch for me," You tell her through a wide smile. "Don't tell them yet, though. I'm gonna surprise them on Thursday, when we get back. I've asked Peter to move my stuff into their apartment while we've been here."

"That is so adorable!" She coos, wrapping her arms around you. "They're gonna die. You have to film their reaction!"

"I'll try," You promise with a laugh, before sighing. "It's weird, though. I'm kinda used to doing long distance. What if they realize they hate living with me?"

"Oh, please. Those boys are obsessed with you," She assures you. "Besides, the three of you are making strides in your careers, and you all work so hard. If you don't live with them, you'll hardly ever see them."

"True," You mumble, playing with the bouquet of lilies in your hands.

"Just think," Kayla begins with an excited glint in her eye. "All five of us, living in the same city-"

"The same block," You cut in.

"The same apartment building," She adds with a giggle. "It'll be like college again, except with a lot more money. And a lot less crazy bitches tryna steal your life."

"Oh, God, don't remind me about her," You grumble, a cold shiver running down your spine at the memories.

"That shit was fucking insane," She says, shaking her head. "You should write a book about it. Guaranteed bestseller."

You laugh heartily at her suggestion. "Can you imagine? She'd probably escape prison and hunt me down."

"I'm being serious, babe," She doubles down. "You should profit off of what she put you through. Compensation!"

Continuing to laugh, you shake your head. "You're crazy, Kay."

JULY 2033, HOLLYWOOD

"Now, some people say too many cooks spoil the broth - was it difficult for the three of you to collaborate on this film?"

Bucky, Sam, and Steve share a look, each of them smiling. Steve is the first to shake his head, leaning forward. "Not at all. Not only have we been friends for over a decade, and working together on projects just as long, this story is also a part of each of our lives, so we all had something valuable and unique to bring to it," He answers confidently.

"That's right. Some viewers may not be aware of this, but Call Me Bibi is actually based on true events," Carla reiterates to the camera. "And, of course, so is Y/N Y/L/N's bestseller novel, Along Came a Bee. What was it like, sharing such a traumatic event with the world?"

"We never would've done this film if Y/N wasn't comfortable with it," Bucky says. "After all, she was hurt the most by what happened. It was a crazy thing we went through, and something that left us with scars, and a trailer full of trust issues, so being able to be in control of telling our story was therapeutic, in a way."

"Now, the real-life Bibi, Beryl Anderson, is currently still imprisoned for the murder of her younger sister. Did you visit her prior to making this movie?" Carla questions.

"Absolutely not," Sam says with a dry laugh. "It was something that crossed our minds at the start, but ultimately, we decided against it. Some bears are best left unpoked."

"That's understandable," Carla says, before clapping her hands together. "Well, gentleman, thank you so much for your time. Tell me, will we see any collaborative works from you in the future, or will you each return to solo work?"

The three of them look at each other before Steve replies, "We'll definitely work together again."

"I'm glad to hear that, and I'm sure the viewers are too; the film is just fantastic," Carla says with a smile. "Audiences globally are loving it; it's an instant classic. Are there any plans for a sequel?"

Bucky's the first to shake his head. "No sequel. We feel the story was told, and there's no need to revisit it or stretch it out any further," He tells her candidly.

"Well folks, there you have it," Carla says, turning to the camera. "Be sure to catch Call Me Bibi in theatres, while you still can."

Backstage, you await them with a wide smile.

"How was that?" Bucky asks you, wrapping an arm around your waist.

"You guys were great," You say as the four of you stand in a circle. "Was that the last one?"

"Yes, thank God," Sam replies with a sigh. "I hate press tours. Leave it for the actors."

"It feels surreal," Steve says as he rests his hand on your lower back. "To be standing here, all these years later. I never really think about how long it's been."

"I never would've thought it," You admit. "That we'd still be here, together."

"She really did a number on us, huh?" Bucky mumbles bitterly, shaking his head.

"And now look at us: promoting a movie about her," Sam says between laughs, shaking his head. "Damn. To think, it all started with a girl in our film class."

The four of you stand in silence for a few moments, processing Sam's words. Letting the memories flash across your minds, the nostalgia sending you shivers.

"Well, we made it through," Steve reminds you with a smile. "If anything, going through that only made our bond stronger."

"Unbreakable," You add. "Maybe we oughta thank her."

Another short silence passes before you all share a look, and burst into laughter.

"Nah," Bucky says through chuckles, shaking his head. "Fuck that bitch."

the end.

a/n: this was way overdue and i apologize for that! i think the reason it's taken so long is because i didn't wanna say goodbye to my baby just yet. this series started almost two years ago and since then, it's been received so well. i internally struggled to decide just how to end this series, and i've written so many different things, but this is ultimately how i wanted to leave it - slightly open-ended, but still giving you an insight to how their lives progressed together.

thank you all for joining me on this journey, and i hope you've enjoyed reading it as much as i have writing it.

“Really?” He says looking over at her laptop, “Why?”

“What the hell,” she pauses, reading over the email.

“What?” Sam says, leaning over to try and read the email.

“She’s asking if I’m representing Bucky in a custody battle with [Y/N],” she tells him.

“What the hell?”

“I know,” she says confused, “Did you know he was going for full custody?”

“No,” Sam shakes his head, “I’m more confused as to why Diana Prince would be contacting you about this and not Loki or Pepper, or someone else in the family law department.”

“Babe, I’m just as confused as you are,” she says, “She mentions how my name was brought up when meeting with [Y/N]. What would [Y/N] even tell her? I’m not a family law attorney. She knows that. Why would I, a criminal defense lawyer, take on a child custody case?”

“I mean if she says [Y/N] mentioned you, you kinda have to assume why, right,” Sam says.

“Why would she even bring up what's going on between us in a meeting with her lawyer? How does that make me involved in this custody case?” Natasha says, completely dumbfounded why [Y/N] would tell Diana Prince she had any involvement in this, “Diana Prince is the last person I would ever want to know what’s going on in my fucking personal life. Especially one that now involves her new client.”

“Very bold of her to get Diana Prince on the case,” Sam says, knowing Natasha’s history with Diana.

“She clearly doesn’t want to lose custody.”

“Yeah, but that’s the part that doesn’t make sense,” Sam says, “Why would Bucky even threaten to take Daisy away? I get things between them haven’t been as great as it was pre-engagement but I just don’t see him going straight to that option. It’s very unlike him.”

“Very unlike him,” she agrees, still lost in thought over the entire situation, “That’s the last thing he would do. He wouldn’t do anything to hurt Daisy.”

“Do I just ignore it?” Natasha turns towards Sam, “Do I respond back? Do I call Bucky?”

“This is clearly a private matter between Bucky and [Y/N]. And he clearly didn’t want us to know. But,” he pauses.

“But what?” Natasha pushes.

“Thinking as a lawyer. You don’t really want to let Diana know that. Right? That you don’t know what’s going on. Because for all we know Bucky could be doing just that, and seeing as we are way too close to the situation. We ethically shouldn’t be involved as his attorney.”

“So should I call him?”

“There is one other person that comes to mind that he might’ve asked. The only person in our group who’s an actual family law attorney.”

“Do you really think Loki would do that? Plus he’s on paternity leave,” Natasha says.

“He might. If Bucky asked.”

“So do I call Loki?”

“No. Because if he didn’t then we would just be gossiping about something that you and I are clearly not supposed to know,” Sam says.

“So do I call Bucky?” She asks again.

“That’s probably the best option.” He shrugs, still unsure about this whole situation.

“Okay,” she sighs, and picks up her phone.

“Hey Nat, what’s up?” Bucky answered the phone.

“So I’m just going to be straight up with you,” she says.

“Okay, about what?” He asked, taken back by her greeting.

“So I got an email from Diana Prince, regarding a custody battle between you and [Y/N],” she tells him, “she was basically asking me if I was representing you in this custody battle.”

“Please tell me this is some sick joke,” Bucky deadpans.

“It would be a very sick joke,” Natasha tells him.

“I can’t believe she’s really doing this,” Bucky sighs. Natasha can hear the exhaustion laced in his voice, “If she only listened to me for five fucking minutes she would see that this has been completely thrown out of proportion.”

“So you’re not filing for full custody?”

“No, fuck no,” he says, “I just wanted us to meet up with a lawyer to have our agreement made legal. So we can’t fuck each other over.”

“So you don’t have a lawyer?”

“I do,” he tells her, “but not in the way she thinks I do. I asked Loki to help me draft up our agreement. Nothing would really change aside from the fact that we both need to communicate better with each other. And that she can’t do anything shady regarding Daisy. Like for instance she can’t just move Daisy away from me. That we both need to be in agreement when it comes to Daisy.”

“Honestly I just needed a legal way to protect myself as Daisy’s father,” Bucky stresses.

“Yeah well it looks like it’s going to be way more than just that,” Natasha sighs, feeling sorry for Bucky and the situation he’s currently in.

“I’m not trying to take Daisy away,” he says, “I would never do that. That would just do more harm towards Daisy. And I would never in a million years put that stress on her. She doesn’t need to be dragged into this shit show of a mess, purely because her parents have a hard time communicating.”

“That’s why I was so confused why Diana Prince would even email me regarding this,” she tells him.

“I can’t even imagine what she’s telling Diana about this whole situation,” he sighs in defeat, feeling a headache coming on, “the last person I would ever want to know what’s going on in my life.”

“That’s what I said,” Natasha says.

“Just don’t email her back,” Bucky tells her, “I’ll talk to Loki about it, and have him send her an email explaining the situation on Monday, after I talk to [Y/N] tomorrow when she drops Daisy off.”

“Okay, if you need any help don’t hesitate to ask,” Natasha tells him before they hang up.

_________________________

Bucky spends the early evening scurrying around his little townhouse, getting things ready for when Daisy gets dropped off. He already had dinner ready for her on the stove.

The knock on his door takes him by surprise for a split second. He quickly goes over to open the door, expecting to see [Y/N] and Daisy. He definitely wasn’t expecting Clark to be with them also. He can’t help but to let out a light scoff.

Guess this is how it’s going to be now, he thought.

“Daddy!” Daisy exclaimed, throwing her arms around his legs.

“Hi honey,” he smiles, hugging her.

She lets go of his legs and runs off to go put her backpack in her room.

“Can we talk?” Bucky asks [Y/N], “just five minutes.”

“I don’t think that’s best,” Clark says.

“No offense but I was talking to [Y/N],” Bucky says, annoyed not bothering to look at Clark, “Please [Y/N]. It doesn’t have to go down this route. Please just let me explain everything and you’ll see this was all just a misunderstanding.”

“What route are you talking about?” She asks.

“I’m not an idiot, [Y/N]. I know you’ve got Diana Prince representing you. In whatever you think this might be.”

‘You’re the one that set that in motion the moment you told me you got an attorney to discuss our custody agreement,” she tells him, “you did that Bucky.”

“I didn’t even do anything,” he tries to keep his voice down, so Daisy can’t hear them.

“But you threatened me that you would.”

“I did no such thing.”

“Daddy, I’m hungry,” Daisy yells, as she comes skipping into the room. All the adults go silent.

“Okay, Dais,” he smiles, “go wash up and dinner is all done in the kitchen.”

“Can we watch Frozen while we eat?” She asks, eyes lighting up.

“Of course,” he smiles at her as she runs off with a squeal.

He turns back to the door,  “Please [Y/N], don’t do anything yet. Please. Just give me a moment to explain everything.”

“I’m sorry Bucky,” she shakes her head, “it’s already done.”

Bucky just stands there in shock.

“We should go,” Clark says, ushering her away from his front door, he turns back towards Bucky, “from now on I think it’s best if we just go through our attorneys. We won’t be discussing this with you any further than needed.”

Bucky stood there watching them walk away. Fighting every inch of his body telling him to punch Clark in the face. He really wanted to. But the last thing he wanted was for Daisy to see any of that drama. Plus he knows that the couple would just use it against him.

“I’m ready Daddy,” Daisy says, coming back into the room.

“Sounds good,” he closes the door, and turns to look down at her, “let's eat.”

_________________

After making sure Daisy is asleep for the night, Bucky calls Loki.

“Hey Buck,” Loki answers, “How did it go?”

“Bad,” he answers, “So bad, that I guess now we have to talk through our attorneys.”

“Really?” Loki asked surprised that this is all coming down to this.

“Apparently so,” he says, collapsing onto the couch, “Clark made sure I knew to no longer discuss this with them.”

“Who did [Y/N] get to represent her?” Loki asks.

“Diana Prince,” Bucky tells him.

“You’re kidding me?”

“Nope. Apparently [Y/N] told her she thought I got Natasha to represent me.”

“Why would she? That doesn’t even make sense.”

“None of this is making any sense anymore,” Bucky sighs.

“I’m just going to ask this one final time, are you sure you want to go through with this?” Loki asks him.

Bucky pauses for a moment. He knows he can end it all right at this moment. If he were to tell [Y/N] that he is dropping it all and just wants to keep things the way they were, she would. But he knows that it won’t change anything and things won’t be like how they were. They just simply can’t and now he has Clark to worry about.

In the end he’s doing all of this for Daisy, if he gives up it almost feels like he would be.

“Yes,” Bucky says so surely in his answer, “This is the only way now.”

“I’ll email Diana Prince, letting her know that I’m representing you, along with the agreement we have drafted up. I’ll also go ahead and set up a meeting for all of us to talk it through,” Loki explains how this is all going to go down, “have your secretary send your schedule to mine so I can pick the date that works best.”

“Okay, I will. Once again Loki, I’m very grateful that you’re doing this for me,” Bucky tells him.

“I’m sure that’ll change once you get my bill,” Loki jokes.

Bucky lets out a boisterous laugh. He hears a crying baby in the background.

“I’ve taken enough of your time. I’ll let you get back to the family.”

“Just one last thing,” Loki says before hanging up, “Be prepared for the good, the bad, and the ugly. Things are probably going to get worse before they get better. But don’t let it get the best of you. Child custody cases really know how to bring the worse out of a person. Just try not to let it affect you. You know you’re a good father. Everyone does, including [Y/N]. At the end of the day, this is all for Daisy.”

“Thanks Lok, I’ll make sure to keep that in mind.”

“Goodnight Bucky,” Loki says.

“Goodnight,” Bucky hangs up the phone.

_________________

“Do you have those samples for the Tanner’s kitchen remodel?” [Y/N] asks Valkyrie as she walks into her office.

“Yes, I do,” Val says, digging through the items on her desk, pulling out the samples needed, “they ended up changing the cabinet colors. Again.”

“Again?” [Y/N] sighs, “this is the third time. Are they serious about keeping this color? Because I’m headed to finalize everything with the contractor.”

“Might want to give them a call before you go.”

“Will do,” she sighs, grabbing the samples.

“Is everything okay?” Val asks, noticing [Y/N]’s stressed out look.

“Things have been a bit stressful at home,” [Y/N] says.

“What’s going on? Feel like I have no idea what’s been going on with you lately,” Val says.

“Yeah, we haven’t had a girl’s night out in awhile.”

“It’s been a couple of months,” Val says, festering to the chair in front of her desk for [Y/N] to sit.

[Y/N] takes a seat and sighs.

“So what’s wrong?” Val asks.

“Bucky and I are about to get into a custody battle.”

“Wait, what?” Val says surprised by that confession.

“Yup,” she sighs, “Bucky got a lawyer a couple of weeks ago.”

“Why? I thought things were good with your agreement?”

“So did I,” [Y/N] says, “until he mentioned wanting to have a meeting with his lawyer to discuss our agreement.”

“Why would he do that?”

“He thinks I’m going to just move and take Daisy with me without considering him.”

“Are you moving?” Val asks.

“No, I don’t plan on moving,” [Y/N] shakes her head, “at least not in the next five years. Also I wouldn’t take Daisy away from him. But he seems to think otherwise. And now things are escalating way too fast.”

“Was something just not working with your agreement?”

“He wouldn’t say. He just kept saying he has to protect himself,” [Y/N] says, “I have never once threatened to take Daisy from him. I’ve never tried to use her as a pawn. Things have always been good between us.

Things have never been this bad between us. Not in all our years of friendship.”

“I mean things were bound to change,” Val says, “especially with you getting married.”

“But me getting married doesn’t mean I’m going to take Daisy from him.”

“Yeah, but maybe he needs this as reassurance.”

“But why does it need to be this extreme?”

“He is a lawyer,” Val shrugs, “Maybe you two just need to sit down and talk it over.”

“I don’t think that’ll be a very good idea at this moment,” [Y/N] sighs, “we got into a bad argument. Clark thinks we should keep it short and anything regarding this should be discussed through our lawyers.”

Valkyrie is taken back by this information. She’s surprised Clark is having any say in this situation.

“Don’t you think that just talking through your lawyers is a bit extreme?” Val asks, hoping to maybe get [Y/N] to change her mind and just talk to Bucky.

“Maybe.”’

“Also don’t you think this should just be between you and Bucky?” Val says, “No offense to Clark, but do you think his involvement might be playing a part in all of Bucky’s frustration?”

“Maybe,” [Y/N] ponders over that thought, “Probably. Most likely.”

“Do you want Clark involved in all of this?” Val asks.

“He’s been very helpful with the whole situation,” [Y/N] says, “he set me up with his lawyer friend who will be representing me. He’s also going to be Daisy’s stepfather once we get married. So he’ll have some sort of say.”

“Yeah, that is true,” Val nods, “but you guys aren’t married right now. Do you think Bucky finds his involvement in all of this to be a bit…much?”

“I’m sure he would prefer Clark to stay out of it,” [Y/N] says, “I’m sure he sees it as Clark interfering on something that doesn’t involve him, and potentially making things worse.”

“Do you think Clark will make things worse?”

[Y/N] takes a moment to ponder the question. She knows Clark is just doing what he thinks is best for her, and he’s been so incredibly helpful and supportive through all of this. But even she knows Clark’s input will be more biased towards how he sees things and how it’ll affect them as a couple, future family.

She thinks back to being in the lawyer office and them discussing holidays. [Y/N] never wants to exclude Bucky in anything especially when it involves their daughter. So she never saw their holiday agreement as anything strange, it was their normal. She never saw it being an issue. That’s mostly because it was never an issue. She and Bucky grew up in New York, both their families are there, so it was always easy to include everyone in everything. With Clark not being from here, it does change things. She knew he wanted to say more on the holiday stuff, but chose against it. And she meant to bring it up to him, but she just doesn’t know how to go about it. Plus right now her only focus is Daisy and this thing with Bucky.

“[Y/N],” Valkyrie softly calls out, breaking [Y/N] from her thoughts.

“Sorry,” she whispers, “I think Clark just makes things more complicated.”

“In a good or bad way?”

“Both?” [Y/N] thinks out loud.

“I guess only time will tell where the scale will tip,” Valkyrie says, leaving [Y/N] to ponder more with her thoughts.

___________

Speak Now taglist *the series tag list is closed, but the permanent one is still open*

“Hey Buck,” Loki answers the door, with a burp cloth on his left shoulder, and a baby monitor in his right hand, “Come on in.”

Bucky follows Loki into the kitchen and takes a seat at the round table in the corner.

“So what did you want to talk about?” Loki asks, as he places a cup of tea in front of Bucky.

“Me, Daisy, and [Y/N],” Bucky says, putting some sugar in his tea.

“Okay. What about you three?” He says, taking a seat across from Bucky, placing the baby monitor on the table.

“I want to make our child custody agreement legal.”

“You do?” Loki is taken back by Bucky’s announcement. Especially since Bucky was coming to him about it.

“Yeah I do,” Bucky nods his head, taking a sip of his tea.

“What made you come to this decision, if I may ask.”

“[Y/N] hasn’t been the best lately when it comes to communication,” Bucky tells him, “Apparently Clark is moving in this week and she failed to mention it.”

“He is?” Loki asked, surprised by this brand new information.

“Yeah,” Bucky sighs, “Lately it just feels like she’s been more forgetful when it comes to us co-parenting.”

“And you’re afraid it’s going to get worse once she’s actually married?”

“Yes,” Bucky nods his head, “I just think this is something I need to do to protect myself as Daisy’s father. Especially when Daisy has expressed some concerns with our new situation.”

“She has?” Loki was shocked to hear that.

“Yeah, she’s mentioned being afraid about losing me and [Y/N] abandoning her,” Bucky tells him.

“That’s some heavy stuff for a four year-old to bring up,” he says, glancing at the baby monitor, where his newborn was seen sleeping in his crib.

“You’re telling me. It broke my heart having to see her so upset about it all.”

“Does [Y/N] know that Daisy feels this way?” Loki asks.

“No, and like I said communication hasn’t been our forte recently. I couldn’t even get a hold of her earlier this week when Daisy got sick.”

“And you’re coming to me to help you? As a lawyer?” Loki asked him, making sure he’s understanding what Bucky is coming to him with.

“Listen, I know what I’m coming to you with isn’t a simple ask. Especially with all of us being in the same friend group, and with you being on paternity leave. So I completely understand if you wouldn’t want to help me,” Bucky sincerely tells him, understanding that what he is asking of Loki is not a simple favor.

“Can I ask why you’re coming to me? Aside from me being one of the state’s best family lawyers,” Loki says.

“Because I know you’ll be unbiased. I know that you’ll only do what’s best for Daisy. No matter if it hurts me or [Y/N]. You won’t let your own feelings dictate what you think is best for Daisy,” Bucky explains.

“I’m assuming you just want mediation correct?”

“Yes,” Bucky nods his head, “If we can avoid having to go in front of a judge, then I’m all for it.”

“Listen, I’m not asking for full custody,” Bucky moves his cup of tea over and leans forward towards Loki, “I don’t want our current agreement to change. Just want it to be a little more official.”

“Okay, I can do that,” Loki nods his head, agreeing to everything Bucky is saying and asking him, “Just email me your already agreed upon arrangements, and anything else you’d like to add to it.”

“Okay, I will.”

“One last thing,” Loki says, taking a last sip of his tea before making eye contact with Bucky, “Do you want to tell [Y/N] or do you want me to email her, obviously through my work email.”

“Do you normally send the email?” Bucky asks him.

“Since we’re trying to avoid a custody battle, all we really need to do is draft up the agreement, schedule a mediation appointment. We can probably get someone else from the family law department to mediate, just so [Y/N] doesn't feel attacked,” Loki gets up from his seat, taking his and Bucky’s cup to his sink, before turning back towards Bucky, “Because at the end of the day I am your lawyer, and [Y/N] will for sure see it as just that. Especially with how defensive she’s been lately.”

“I’ll talk to her,” Bucky tells him.

“Okay. You got yourself a lawyer,” Loki extends his hand out, and Bucky takes it, shaking upon their agreement.

Loki walks Bucky back to the front door, baby monitor still in his hand.

“Oh one more thing,” Loki stops him as he’s beginning to walk out the front door, “You’re doing the right thing. No matter what anyone else says, you’re doing what any normal, caring parent would do. So please don’t let anything negative deter you from doing this.”

“Thank you,” Bucky smiles, feeling relieved that Loki understands where he is coming from.

“Let’s try and aim for Monday, Pietro has the day off, so I should have a couple of hours to sit with you and [Y/N],” Loki tells him.

“Okay, I’ll call her tonight and let her know.”

“Good luck,” Loki says before closing the door behind Bucky.

________________

Bucky gets home a little after five o’clock, his takeout dinner in his hand. He places all his things on the table before taking out his phone and dialing [Y/N]’s number.

“Hey Bucky, what’s up?” [Y/N] answers.

“Hey [Y/N], are you busy?”

“No, just making dinner. Did you want to talk to Daisy? She’s just coloring,” [Y/N] says, taking a glance at the kitchen door, where she can hear Clark and Daisy talking.

“No, I actually wanted to talk to you about Daisy,” he tells her.

“Okay. What about her?” [Y/N] asked, distracted by cooking dinner.

“I was thinking that we should get our child custody agreement legalized,” he says, wincing at his choice of words. He feels awkward and uncomfortable bringing this up.

Bucky knows he has to basically walk on eggshells when bringing this topic up with [Y/N]. He’s hoping she’ll understand where he is coming from, and be open minded about it.

“What do you mean ‘legalize’ it?” [Y/N] asked, “What’s wrong with our current agreement?”

“Nothing is wrong with our current agreement. I just think we should get it at least notarized, for protection. For the both of us.”

“Protection from what?” [Y/N] says, trying not to get defensive towards Bucky.

“Just anything. At least we’ll have it in writing,” he explains, “There’s a lot of new changes going on in our lives. It’s just a precautionary measure.”

“Sounds like you’re worried about me taking Daisy away from you,” [Y/N] says, she can’t help the snappiness coming from her tone.

“It’s a normal concern,” Bucky says.

“I would never do that to you,” [Y/N] tells him.

“I know you wouldn’t. I’ll just sleep better at night knowing that neither one of us can easily change the agreement, at least not without consulting each other. It’s just a precautionary measure,” Bucky tries explaining to her.

“Um okay, so I’ll just type it up and we can just go get it notarized,” she tells him.

“Oh, um actually my lawyer is drafting it,” Bucky awkwardly tells her.

“Your lawyer?” [Y/N] says her voice rising a bit. She immediately stops what she’s doing, completely taken back by the mention of Bucky having a lawyer.

“Yeah. My lawyer. He’s just drafting our agreement up. It’s just a draft. We’ll need to set up a mediation appointment, where we can talk it through, and make sure everything is the way we want it to be.”

“Why do you need a lawyer for this? This sounds like you’re trying to change our custody agreement?”

“[Y/N] we don’t have a legal custody agreement,” he tells her, “I’m not trying to change anything. I’m just trying to do this the right way.”

“The right way? Like suing me for custody?” She felt herself beginning to panic over the thought of losing Daisy.

Clark walks into the kitchen, after hearing [Y/N]’s distressed tone from the next room. He takes one final look at Daisy, before closing the kitchen door, so she doesn’t hear her mother upset.

“What’s wrong?” He mouths to her.

“I’m not suing you for custody,” he stresses to her, “This is just a mediation meeting to go over our agreement, then once we agree on it we’ll just get it notarized. Having a lawyer and a mediator is just a way to keep things unbiased.”

“Unbiased?” She scoffs, “By having your lawyer draft up our agreement. How exactly is that unbiased James?”

“It’s just a draft [Y/N]. You don’t have to sign it if you don’t like what it says,” he tells her.

“Like hell I’m not. For all I know you could be completely changing what we had previously agreed on.

“I’m not. It’s just a formality. This is just mediation. We go in and we talk it out together, and then only if we agree do we sign the paper. It isn’t a one-sided thing.”

“So i go to this meeting just for you and your lawyer to tell me all the way I’m a bad mother,” [Y/N] frustratingly says.

“That’s not what this is about,” Bucky strains, he feels like he’s talking to a wall with how [Y/N] isn’t bothered by actually listening to him.

“Then what James? All of a sudden you now have an issue with our agreement. It’s been working perfectly well.

“There’s something you’re not telling me, so tell me the truth,” [Y/N] calls him out.

Clark goes over to the stove and turns it off. Dinner can wait. He stays close by to make sure that [Y/N] is okay.

“I told you why. It’s for Daisy, to make sure neither one of us keeps her from the other. This isn’t an unusual thing [Y/N]. This is a very common thing.”

“Do you really think I’d keep Daisy from you? Do you really think I’d be that cruel?” [Y/N] felt a tightening in her throat.

[Y/N] can sort of handle her friends thinking she’s a bad mom, because they weren’t really in the know. Not like how she and Bucky are. She simply can’t handle Bucky thinking she’s a bad mom. Because if he thinks she’s a bad mom, then maybe she really is one.

“No, it’s just-“

“You do,” she gasps, cutting him off, “You do think I would do that to you.”

“I don’t know,” he raises his voice, “with you marrying Clark, who knows what’s going to happen in the future. I need something to protect my relationship with my daughter.”

“You’d really think I’d do that to you?” Her voice breaks, she’s trying to fight the constricting feeling in her throat, “After all these years, you’d think I’d be so cruel to keep her from you?”

“I don’t know [Y/N],” Bucky sighs, “But I gotta do this to protect myself. I’m sorry, but I don’t know what the future entails. All I know is, you and Clark are starting this new life together and I gotta do what I have to, to protect myself as Daisy’s father. I won’t be replaced.”

“Clark isn’t going to replace you,” she sniffs, “You’ll always be Daisy’s dad. We’ll always take your feelings slash wants into consideration.”

“That’s the thing,” he sighs, “I don’t want you to take my feelings into ‘consideration’, then if what I want or say isn’t to your liking, I don’t want you to overrule me. Because I have as much a say as you do.

Clark, as much as I like the dude, he doesn’t have a say. He’s your husband.”

“He’s going to be Daisy’s stepfather. Anything that happens in our lives, is going to affect her as well. And vice versa,” she says.

“What’s going on? What is he saying?” Clark whispers.

Bucky can hear him in the back. He rolls his eyes but chooses to ignore Clark.

[Y/N] puts the phone on speaker, but places her finger against her lips, signaling Clark to keep quiet.

“Listen, I know Clark is going to be her stepfather. But I’m her actual father. I have more of a right than he does.”

“He gets a say as well Bucky,” [Y/N] stresses.

“No he doesn’t,” Bucky stresses, trying his hardest not to completely snap on [Y/N], “his opinion regarding my daughter isn’t valid or wanted for me. Unless I asked for it, I don’t care for it. Daisy is our daughter. Clark is your fiancé. You can take his opinion into consideration but I don’t have to.”

“She’s going to be his daughter as well.”

“Until he’s put in the amount of work and effort I have, I don’t care.”

“Are you serious James?” She scoffs at him, in complete disbelief he would be acting this way.

“Very serious,” Bucky says, “he’s only been around for a few months. So once he has a couple of years under his belt, then that’s when I’ll take what he says seriously.”

“Wow James, that’s really progressive of you,” [Y/N] snides, “Daisy loves Clark.”

“Does she now? Have you even talked to her about everything?” Bucky snuggly asks. He knows he shouldn’t be saying this, but he’s completely over this conversation and the way [Y/N] has been treating him throughout it.

“Yes, she’s excited about it all,” [Y/N] tells him, “that’s what she said.”

“Was it just you and her? Or was Clark around when she said it?”

“He was there,” she says, glancing up to meet Clark’s eyes.

“You really think that sweet little girl is going to tell the truth and risk hurting his feelings?” Bucky harshly questions, “That’s not Daisy. Maybe you should actually talk to her alone, before you start speaking for her.”

Clark is trying his best not to get involved in the conversation, knowing that whatever he says isn’t going to be helpful. Yet he can’t help but feel personally attacked by what is being said on the other end of the phone. He also can’t help but get protective once he sees how visibly upset [Y/N] is getting.

[Y/N]’s mind starts racing a thousand miles per hour. Has she really been that obtuse to her daughter’s feelings? Has she been so caught up in her own little world that she has been completely blind to Daisy’s true feelings? Daisy would tell her if she didn’t like Clark, right? There’s been times where it’s just been them two since the engagement, right? 

Has there been a moment with just them two?

[Y/N] is racking her brain, over the course of the past few months. Trying to find a week without Clark. But she can’t find it. Not since them getting engaged, it hasn’t just been them two. 

How could she be so selfish? How could she be such a bad mom.

Natasha was right.

[Y/N] starts crying, that’s when Clark decides it’s time to speak up.

“Bucky, this conversation isn’t going anywhere, and I won’t let you continue to make [Y/N] upset. Better to hold all of this for now.”

“Listen Clark, this is happening whether we go down the civil path or not,” Bucky tells him.

“Listen, don't threaten us,” Clark tenses.

“It’s not a threat, Clark,” Bucky hangs up the phone.

________________

Series Tag list *closed* if i got your name wrong please message me[TO THOSE CROSSED OFF PLEASE FIX YOUR SETTINGS, STRIKES HAVE BEGUN] ALSO PLEASE ENGAGE IN THESE POSTS. IF YOU DON’T ENGAGE I MIGHT CONSIDER TAKING YOU OFF, SIMPLY BECAUSE I HAVE A LONG LIST OF PEOPLE WHO WOULD LIKE TO BE ADDED. MY FEELINGS WON’T BE HURT IF YOU ASKED TO BE TAKEN OFF:

At 6:30 he went to wake Daisy up. He set her clothes to the side for her to dress herself.

At 6:30 he went to wake Daisy up. He set her clothes to the side for her to dress herself.

As he was getting breakfast ready, he decided to give [Y/N] a call, he glanced at the microwave time while the phone rang, 6:40.

“Hello?” Clark answered [Y/N]’s phone.

‘Oh hey Clark,” Bucky responds, taken back by hearing Clark’s voice. He can feel himself getting frustrated with [Y/N] not answering her phone.

“Morning Bucky,” Clark happily greeted him.

“Hey Clark,” Bucky says, “I need to talk to [Y/N] is she around?”

“She just went in the shower,” Clark tells him, sensing Bucky’s curt mood, “I can have her call you once she gets out. Need me to take a message?”

“No, just have her call me once she’s out,”he tells him, “As soon as possible please. Preferably before 8:30, I have a meeting at 9.”

“I take it you saw the announcement,” Clark says.

“Just have [Y/N] call me please,” he repeats himself before hanging up the phone.

As much as Bucky likes Clark, this is a conversation he needs to have with [Y/N].

At 6:45, Daisy walks out to the kitchen dressed for school. Bucky gives her a smile, and places her breakfast in front of her as she takes a seat at the table.

He keeps his phone close to him while they eat breakfast. He didn’t want to tell Daisy just yet, not until he talked to [Y/N].

“All done Daddy,” Daisy says, showing him her empty plate.

“Good job,” Bucky smiles at her, “Let’s go do your hair.”

He glances at his phone, the time reading 7:10.

Daisy stood on a stool in between Bucky and the bathroom vanity, as he did her hair.

“Honey, there’s something I should tell you,” he gently says, looking at her through her reflection in the mirror, “You might hear some things about mommy and Clark at school today.”

“Why?” The wide eyed four year-old asks.

“Well mommy and Clark have told the world that they’re getting married,” he watches her reaction carefully.

“But mommy said that was a secret,” she says confused, “she made me promise not to tell.”

“Yes it was a secret,” Bucky tells her, “It was a secret, for just a little bit. But now mommy and Clark are ready for everyone to know their happy news.”

“But mommy didn’t tell me that,” Daisy says, still confused why her mother would tell everyone a secret.

Bucky is once again reminded of just how young his daughter truly is.

He places her headband on her head.

“I know,” he sighs, “mommy should’ve called you to let you know that it’s no longer a secret. But she and Clark were just too excited.”

“You’re not supposed to tell secrets to others,” Daisy frowned, “we pinky promised.”

“I’m sure mommy didn’t mean to break your pinky promise,” he says, glancing at his watch,  7:22.

“How about you go put your shoes on and I’ll give mommy a call.”

“Okay,” she runs off to go put her shoes on.

Bucky calls [Y/N] again. Still no answer. He frustratingly hung up the phone. He tries his best not to let his frustration show once Daisy meets him in the living room.

“Got my shoes on Daddy,” she says walking up to him.

“Perfect,” he smiles down at her, “Mommy didn’t answer. So we’ll have to talk to her after school.”

“Okay,” she quietly says.

Bucky helped Daisy put on her coat and backpack. He quickly texted [Y/N], before exiting his place with Daisy.

On the walk to her school, Bucky noticed how quiet Daisy was being. He stops walking.

“Daisy, hon, are you okay?” He asks her.

“I don’t feel so good,” she clutches her stomach.

Bucky reaches to feel her forehead, but as soon as he does Daisy bends over and throws up all on the sidewalk.

“Shit,” he says quickly, grabbing her hair and bending down to her level.

Daisy starts to cry, and Bucky quickly pulls her into his arms.

“It’s okay,” he soothes her.

He picks her up and turns back around. He glances at his phone, 7:40. He sped up his walk back to his place.

Once they got back home, he lays Daisy down on the couch and pulls out his phone.

He immediately calls [Y/N]. Still no answer.

He then calls Clark. No answer there either.

He quietly curses under his breath. He tries to call [Y/N] one more time. He couldn’t believe she wasn’t answering her phone. This has never happened. They have always answered each other’s calls and messages.

At 8:05 he gave up trying to call her. He went down his contact list. He had 40 minutes to get someone down here if he wanted to make his appointment in time.

He couldn’t call Rebecca, she had work today and his parents were also working.

He called Carol, who unfortunately told him she and Valkyrie were driving back into town, and she wasn’t sure they would be able to make it to him in time.

Wanda and Steve were still dealing with their own sick child. Loki and Pietro have a newborn, and he didn’t want to chance Daisy getting them sick.

That only leaves him with one option; Sam and Natasha.

At this point he didn’t care if [Y/N] got mad at him. She wasn’t answering her phone and that’s on her.

Sam had an 8:30 meeting, but Natasha was free until 11 a.m. She quickly rushed over. She arrived at 8:40.

“Thank-you so much Natasha,” Bucky thanked her once she arrived., “I really appreciate this.”

“Don’t stress about it,” she says sitting on the couch with Daisy.

“I already gave her some medicine, if she gets worse please call me,” he tells her walking towards the front door.

“Will do,” she nods her head at him, while stroking Daisy’s hair.

Bucky arrived at his appointment just at 9 a.m. The doctor notices Bucky’s frazzled state. His suit was slightly out of place, his hair was no longer perfectly combed.

“Mr. Barnes,” Dr. Pym says, sticking her hand out for him to shake.

“Dr. Pym,” he shakes her hand, “thank-you so much for seeing me on such short notice.

He follows her into the smaller office, and takes a seat on the couch.

“Let’s begin shall we,” she warmly says.

_________________________

[Y/N] steps out of the steaming shower with Clark following closely behind her. She grabs a towel and wraps it around her body, while Clark wraps his towel around his waist.

“That was a great way to begin a Monday,” Clark smirks, wrapping his arms from behind [Y/N]. He places a kiss on her bare shoulder.

“Well get ready because we’ll be starting a lot of our mornings that way,” [Y/N] flirts back.

“Aren’t I so lucky,” he smiles before separating from her, “Don’t forget you need to call Bucky back.”

“Shit, right,” she says remembering why Clark went to the bathroom in the first place, “What time is it?”

Clark looks at his watch on the vanity, “Shit it’s 8:15. We’re going to be late.”

They both quickly got ready without so much as a glance at their phones.

Clark grabs his messenger bag from the dining room table, then he grabs his phone. He notices that he has called and texted him. He checks the time, 8:50, Bucky texted him 30 minutes ago.

“Bucky needs you to call him,” Clark calls out to [Y/N] as he closes the vague text, “He says ASAP.”

“I’ll call him on my way to work,” [Y/N] says walking towards Clark.

“Might have to wait. He mentioned something earlier about having an important meeting at 8:30,” Clark says, holding out a to-go coffee cup for [Y/N].

“Okay, I’ll call him in an hour,” she says, throwing her phone into her purse without so much as glancing at it.

She grabs the cup from Clark and they both head out for the day.

[Y/N] arrives at the office building, she greets the building’s receptionist and security guard. She glances at the clock on the lobby wall, 9:15.

Just a little late, she thought.

She steps into the elevator and presses the button for the floor the Cozy Home office is on. Takes her less than a minute for the doors to open to her office floor.

She walks through the office entrance to see both Carol and Valkyrie made it back from their weekend upstate.

“You guys made it back,” she greets them with a huge smile on her face.

“Yup,” Val says, “Just got in a few minutes ago.”

“Oh good,” [Y/N] says, walking into her office.

“How’s Daisy doing?” Carol asks, following [Y/N] into her office with Val close by.

“Good, I would assume,” she says, “She’s always in a great mood after spending the week with Bucky. I’m sure I’ll hear all about it when I pick he up from school.”

[Y/N] sits at her desk and starts going through her papers. Completely oblivious to the look Carol and Valkyrie are sharing. Both were confused about their friend’s behavior.

“School?” Val speaks up.

“Did Bucky not call you?” Carol says.

[Y/N] immediately freezes and looks up. Concern etched all across her friends’ faces.

“Clark said he did but I missed his call and he’s in some meeting. I was going to call him as soon as I got in. Why?” [Y/N] immediately gets up and starts looking through her purse for her phone.

“He called us this morning,” Carol says, “apparently Daisy threw up on their way to school. She’s sick. He was trying to find someone to watch her while he attended his meeting.”

[Y/N] pulls out her phone and sees all the missed calls and messages from Bucky.

“Fuck,” she says, frantically calling him but she got no answer.

“Why isn’t he answering,” she freaks out.

“He said he had a really important meeting,” Valkyrie says, watching [Y/N] frantically call Bucky over and over again.

“Who’s taking care of her?” What kind of meeting is more important than our sick daughter?”

“You need to calm down,” Carol calmly tells her, “I’m sure everything is fine and Bucky found a sitter. He kept her home because she threw up and had a slight fever. I’m sure it’s just a stomach bug.”

“Why wouldn’t he text me what’s going on?”

“Clearly he did try to reach you,” Val says nodding her head towards [Y/N]’s cell phone, resisting the urge to roll her eyes at [Y/N] blaming Bucky, “Didn’t you hear your phone?”

“No,” she shakes her head, “Clark had answered it and told Bucky I would call him, but…”

“But what?” Val asks.

“I might’ve gotten distracted,” [Y/N] says, feeling herself get embarrassed.

“By what?” Carol prods her.

“I was taking a shower and Clark joined me,” she says, glancing away.

“Oh,” they both said in unison catching on to [Y/N] implications of her morning activities.

“By the time we got out we were both running late,” she explains, “Clark did remind me to call Bucky as we were leaving, but then he mentioned that Bucky was probably in his meeting already.”

“I just don’t get why he couldn’t text me what’s going on,” [Y/N] sighed, scrolling through her contacts.

“He clearly wanted to talk to you and I’m just assuming he had a busy morning as well,” Carol tells her shrugging her shoulders.

“Well he could’ve at least told me where Daisy is at, and who’s taking care of her,” she says, placing her phone to her ear.

“Rebecca, hey,” [Y/N] says on the phone, “Do you happen to have Daisy?”

“No, I’m at work.” Rebecca says, “Why?”

“Apparently, she stayed home from school sick, but I can’t get a hold of your brother to figure out who has her.”

“Oh, I’m sure she’s okay,” Rebecca says, “But hey I gotta get back to work.”

“Right, sorry,” [Y/N] apologizes.

“No worries, oh also congratulations on the engagement,” Rebecca says, with a bit of a bite to her tone, “my coworker told me. Apparently you and Clark are a trending topic.”

“Apparently,” [Y/N] awkwardly says, “Thanks for the congrats. I’ll see you around.”

[Y/N] hangs up her phone and turns her attention back to Carol and Val, “She’s not with Rebecca.”

“[Y/N], I’m sure she’s fine,” Carol says, “It’s already 9:40 a.m. I’m sure Bucky will be out of his meeting soon. And once he’s out, I”m sure he’ll call you.”

[Y/N] ignores her and places her phone to her ear, making another phone call.

“Carol, just let her be,” Val sighs, “anything we say isn’t clicking with her.

Carol took one final look at [Y/N] as she held the office door open, she shook her head before closing the door behind her, leaving [Y/N] to be.

________________

“So James, please explain to me why you have decided to come and talk with me today,” Dr. Pym says once they’re both seated across from each other. She has her open notepad in her lap, and a pen in hand.

“To be completely honest, it was my daughter that made me realize that I probably wasn’t as ‘fine’ as I claimed to be,” he explains, hands in his lap.

“You have a daughter?” She asks.

“Yes. She just turned four last month. Her name is Daisy,” Bucky smiles at the mention of his daughter.

“Is the mother in the picture?”

“Yes, we have shared custody,” he mentions, he starts to wring his wrists, getting nervous.

“Do you have a relationship with her?”

“Yes, I mean no, I mean yes,” Bucky stuttered.

“Is it yes? Or is it no?” She questions him.

“It’s a yes and no,” Bucky says, “We aren’t romantically together. But [Y/N], that’s her name. [Y/N] and I are co-parents. And best friends. Since we were fourteen years-old.”

“Since you were fourteen,” she repeats, “that’s a long time to be friends. But you both also have a young child together. If you don’t mind me asking, how that came to be?”

“Oh, it was a one time thing,” Bucky says, glancing at his hands, “that’s it. That one time resulted in [Y/N] getting pregnant.”

“Okay,” she makes a quick note, “so it was a one night stand kinda thing?”

“Yes, well no, well,” Bucky began to gamble, he paused then took a deep breath and exhaled.

“Yes it was but I don’t see it as that,” Bucky says, “At least I don’t think of [Y/N] as being just a one night stand. She’s way more important that some one night stand. She’s one of my best friends. We have a child together. She’s incredibly important to me.”

Dr.Pym nods her head, taking in all of what Bucky is telling her.

“I see,” she says, “sounds like your relationship with [Y/N] goes more in depth than just friendship and parenthood.”

“No,” Bucky shakes his head, “It doesn’t. She’s actually engaged.”

“Oh, well that’s got to be a huge change,” she points out, “Not just for you but for your child.”

“Massive,” Bucky agrees.

“How has her relationship and engagement affected your relationship with her?”

“I’m happy for her.”

“I didn’t ask if you were happy for her,” Dr. Pym pauses him, “I asked how it has affected you and [Y/N] as parents.”

Bucky ponders over the rushing thoughts in his head. He didn’t want to talk negatively about [Y/N] but he also didn’t want to lie.

“Things haven’t been as good as they used to be,” he vaguely says.

“Can you please elaborate?”

“I just want to clarify that [Y/N] is a good mom,” he stresses, “The best mom there is. She’s always put Daisy first since the moment she found out she was pregnant. For the last four years it’s always been about Daisy. Our main priority had always been Daisy. To make sure Daisy is given the best life that we could provide for her.

“I’m not going to say that the last 6 months haven’t been the best they’ve been, because they haven’t. We’re in this unknown territory of [Y/N] and I being in relationships.”

“Oh, are you in a relationship as well?”

“No, not anymore,” Bucky shakes his head, “I was for about six, seven months last year. But ultimately I had to end it.”

“Why was that?”

“I made the mistake of keeping the relationship a secret for most of the duration of it,” Bucky says, “Once [Y/N] and our friend group found out, things kind of went downhill fast. They didn’t approve of my relationship with Yelena. So it became kind of difficult to continue on with the relationship. As well as some other issues involving Yelena and I being a parent. So ultimately I made the decision to end it.”

“You made the decision? Or did your friends influence you into making that decision?”

Bucky gave that question some thought.

“Both I would say,” Bucky says, “I think they played a big part in my relationship failing. But at the end of the day it was my relationship to end, not theirs. Sure they made it difficult for me to even bring Yelena around, or even discuss her. But the fault lies on me not telling any of them about the relationship for a good six months. It wasn’t until I was caught that I came clean about it.”

“Why did you keep the relationship a secret?” She asked.

“My friends aren’t the easiest people to get to know when you’re an outsider to the group,” Bucky explains, “Some of us have known each other since high school, but we’ve all been a group since college. We’re all very close. They’re my second family.

“But I found whenever we bring an outsider into the mix, things get a bit tense. More so for [Y/N] and I, because everyone in our group is married. Whenever we tried to bring a boyfriend or girlfriend into the mix, the group becomes kinda territorial. They don’t really try to get to know the person we’re dating.”

“So I kept my relationship with Yelena a secret,” Bucky says, “Yelena is a few years younger than us, and I was just trying to protect her from what I knew would ultimately happen. My friends just deem someone unworthy without even getting to know the person.

“And if that person does something that they don't approve of, well then forget ever trying to get them to like that person. It’s not a three strike system with them, it’s a one strike and you’re out.”

“That doesn’t sound very healthy,” she notes, “How do they feel about [Y/N]’s engagement?”

“It’s mixed feelings,” he says.

“Including you?”

“Clark’s a great guy,” Bucky says, “Don’t get me wrong. He loves [Y/N]. And absolutely adores Daisy. I couldn’t wish for a better guy to be my daughter’s stepfather.”

“But?”

“But, do I wish they would’ve waited more than two months to get engaged?” Bucky rhetorically asks, “Yes. I would’ve loved that they would’ve waited more than two months. I would’ve loved it if they waited a year. Am I upset because [Y/N] didn’t even really try to get to know Yelena when I was with her, yet here I am doing everything I can to make sure Clark and I have a great relationship for her sake.

“Is it frustrating that for the last couple of weeks of my relationship I was the villain of the group, yet I’m making sure that no one does anything negative towards [Y/N].”

Dr. Pym just listens to Bucky as he continues to vent his frustration.

“Here I am doing everything in my power to protect [Y/N] and her relationship, yet she let the wolves attack mine,” he angrily vents, “Here I have been doing everything to make sure she has a good life because she’s the mother of my daughter. Here I am being what I’ve always been during our many years of friendship, supportive. I’ve been supportive of everything she’s done, even before we had a kid together and after.

“I didn’t judge her when she dated a prick of a guy two years ago, who completely just used her for sex. I was there helping her pick up the pieces, and making sure our daughter didn’t see her mother like that. There I was doing everything in my power to make sure that [Y/N] was happy. Because if she’s happy, then Daisy is happy, then that makes me happy.”

“It’s so goddamn frustrating that here I am again, picking up the pieces of the mess that she made,” he says, eyes pricking with tears, “a mess that she is too caught up in the rose colored glasses of her engagement to see. Normally I would just sit back and stay quiet because it wouldn’t involve me. But it does. It does because we have a child together, a child who is now feeling the effects of her mother’s impulsiveness.”

“A child who spent the weekend crying to me that she’s scared that her mother is going to abandon her, because said mother hasn’t bothered to ask her how she’s doing,” he angrily swipes the tears away, “A child who is afraid that this new man is going to replace me, that she will no longer have me in her life. A child who I had to tell this morning that her mother decided to announce her engagement without telling her she was telling the world. A child who now thinks her mother lies to her about keeping promises. A child who is currently sick at home with her godmother, because her mother couldn’t even bother picking up the fucking phone when I spent all morning trying to reach her.”

“Would I love to be there with Daisy right now?” Bucky says grabbing the tissue Dr. Pym is holding out for him, “Of course I would. But that same child pointed out to me this weekend that she could tell that I wasn’t truly happy. A child who is kind, loving, smart, can tell I’m not as fine as I claim to be. And that completely broke me. So yes, I would love to be caring for my sick daughter, but I know she’s in good hands, and I know I’m doing the right thing by showing up here today.”

“It’s hard carrying the burden of someone else’s mistakes,” Dr. Pym softly speaks up, “It’s even more difficult when a child is involved. You want to do everything in your power to keep the peace, and I can see that. But hiding your true feelings about it all, isn’t healthy either.

“It’s not healthy for you. Not healthy for the other parties involved. Most specifically not healthy for Daisy.”

Bucky nods his head, taking in what the doctor is telling him.

“I get that you don’t want to cause [Y/N] any issues,” she says, “and I commend you for that, because a lot of coparentships aren’t so thoughtful of one another. You wouldn’t imagine the amount of toxic coparentships I’ve encountered. They’re way too caught up in their own stuff to stop and realize how it affects their child. Then the child suffers in the end. I get that that’s what you’re trying to prevent here.”

“But I’m not telling you to start an argument,” she shakes her head, placing a hand on Bucky’s knee in a comforting way, “I’m telling you to have the conversation with [Y/N]. There’s this template that I like to tell my patients to use when expressing their feelings with someone.

“You say, ‘This isn’t something easy for me to express, but this is something that I need to say. First and foremost what I’m about to say isn’t a personal attack towards you, I do care for you, and because I care for you I need to express the feelings I’ve been having lately. Again this isn’t a personal attack, on you, because you would have no knowledge of me feeling this way, because you weren’t in the know. So please give me the time to express what I’ve been feeling, and have this conversation with you about it.’

“Start off by saying that or something along those lines. Or by saying ‘I feel this way because,’. Explain as much as you can.”

“Okay,” Bucky nods his head.

“And I’m not saying to go home and immediately do it,” she says, “It also doesn’t have to be a conversation you have all in one day. It’s okay to break it down into separate conversations. Explain that to her. Take a couple of days to get your thoughts in order, it’s okay to prepare what you want to say. Don’t go into it, not knowing what you’re going to say. At least the important key points.

“People who rush it tend to miss the important stuff. I get wanting to quickly begin this new mental health journey, but nothing gets fixed with one session. Some people walk out of here after one session and feel great. They feel like everything will magically be better. The only reason they feel like that is because they just spent the last hour releasing all these feelings they’ve had built up for awhile.”

“I like to be honest with my patients,” she says, “I like to be realistic with them about the length of this journey. Everyone is different. Everyone has different issues. You can’t base your journey on someone else’s. Where someone starts to see improvement in a couple of months, might take someone longer.”

“Therapy is something you have to want to do,” she explains, “Something you’re dedicated to doing. It shouldn’t be seen as a chore, it should just be a part of your normal. I’m committed to being here, if you are.”

“I am,” Bucky nods his head, “I really am.”

“Good,” she smiles, she looks up at the clock on the shelf next to Bucky, and she begins to rise, “Well James, unfortunately our time together for this session is over. But I want to thank you for being open and honest with me. It isn’t easy.”

“Thank-you,” he smiles, and gets up to shake her hand.

“I would love to see you again next week,” she says as she shakes his hand, “if you have time in your schedule I think you might benefit from a weekly session.”

“Yes, I would love that,” he says walking towards her door.

“Perfect, I’ll let Joann, my receptionist know to book you for weekly sessions,” she opens the door for him to walk out first, “You can discuss with her which days work best for you.”

“Also, if you’re ever in a mental emergency,” she says handing him her card, “this is my emergency number. It goes directly to my emergency phone. It is only for emergencies where you feel as if your life is in danger. Please use it for what it’s intended for.”

“I will,” he grabs the card and puts it into his wallet, “Thank-you again Dr. Pym.”

“Have a good day James,” she smiles, “I wish Daisy a speedy recovery.”

“Thank-you,” he thanks her one last time before she heads back into her office, leaving him to book his next appointments.

Walking out of that building Bucky never felt more relaxed. He understood what Dr. Pym meant when patients feel great after walking out of a session. He could see why some people wouldn’t return after one session, but he’s determined not to let that feeling trick him into thinking everything is magically fixed. It’s not, but he’s determined to work on it. Work on himself into being the best version of himself he could be. He’s determined to do it, now not just for Daisy but for himself.

He pulls his phone out of his pocket. He looks down to see [Y/N] has finally returned his calls and messages. Of course she would choose while he was in therapy. He shakes his head. He immediately calls her. The petty part of him telling him to let her worry more the way she had him worrying this morning. But he isn’t like that.

“What the fuck Bucky,” she answers.

“Hello to you too,” he says, hailing a cab and stepping into it, he quickly gives the driver his address.

“I’ve been trying to fucking call you for the last hour,” she says.

“Like I told your fiancé I had an important meeting,” he says, “You would’ve known that if you would’ve answered any of my calls or messages earlier this morning when I spent two hours trying to contact you.”

“I was busy.”

“Yeah, and so was I,” he said, “so guess we’re even.”

“I’m not calling to argue, where’s Daisy?”

“She’s at home,” he says rolling his eyes at her tone, “I found a sitter to watch her. I’m on my way home now. I took the rest of the day off to be with her.”

“Who’s the sitter?” She asked, “I called all the usual people we would use, and none of them have Daisy.”

“Natasha is watching her,” he tells her the truth.

“Are you kidding me?”

“No,” he says, “No one else was available and I really couldn’t miss this meeting. She was the only one who was able to get there within five minutes.”

“After everything Natasha has said about me, you would allow her to take care of my daughter,” she harshly says.

“Our daughter,” he corrects her, “Daisy is OUR daughter. You don’t see me throwing the ‘my daughter’ shit around after you announced your engagement to the world without telling her.”

“It was a last minute decision,” she says.

“And you don’t think you should’ve sent me a text last night saying you were announcing it,” he says, “You don’t think you should’ve called to talk to Daisy about it. This affects her too, [Y/N]. This affects her just as much as it affects you. You need to include her.”

“I do include her,” she retaliates.

Bucky takes a deep breath to calm himself. No longer feeling the calm, rejuvenated self he felt walking out of his therapy appointment. This was not the time or place to be fighting with [Y/N]. He was in the back of a cab, and all he wanted to do was get back home and take care of Daisy.

“[Y/N] like you said, I don’t want to argue with you,” he calmly says, “I’m almost home. If you want to come over after work, you’re more than welcome to. Regardless you’ll have to come pick her up.”

“You’re not going to bring her to my place?”

“No, [Y/N]. She’s sick,” he says, “If anything when she’s sick we normally just leave her where she’s at to not expose her to the outside. So she’ll probably stay another night with me.”

“But it’s my week,” [Y/N] says.

Bucky doesn’t understand why [Y/N] was being so difficult with him. This was a common procedure for them. If Daisy was sick she would just stay at whoever’s home she was currently at, to let her rest and get better without lugging her around the city.

“[Y/N],” he sighs, “fine, you can take her home. Just thought because she’s sick she would stay at least another night to make sure she’s feeling better. But if you want to take her home, then you can. I’m not going to fight you on this.”

“Okay,” she says, “I’ll see you after I get out of work. Please keep me updated on Daisy.”

“Okay, I’ll see you later,” he hangs up his phone.

When he enters his place, he spots Nat and Daisy on the couch, Daisy was asleep on his

“How is she doing?” He whispers, toeing off his shoes and placing his bag on the bench next to his front door.

“Good,” she whispers, “She hasn’t thrown up. She still has a fever though.”

Natasha carefully takes Daisy’s head off of her lap, and stands up.

“Thank you again,” he tells her, leaning up against the couch, as Natasha goes to grab her shoes and bag.

“Anytime,” she smiles at him.

“Was your meeting good?” She eyes him.

“Yeah, it went really well.”

“Good,” she smiles.

“Guess I’ll see you around,” she lingers by the door.

“Want to maybe grab some dinner this weekend?” He says.

“Yes, please,” she smiles.

“See you Saturday,” he smiles, holding the door open for her.

“See you Saturday,” she leaves with a smile on her face.

Bucky knows that [Y/N] won’t be happy that he’s spending time with Natasha again. But at this point he doesn’t care anymore. He’s done everything he can to protect [Y/N] just to get the treatment he received today. If [Y/N] doesn’t want to hang out with Natasha, then that’s fine. But she’s his friend as well, and he knows what it’s like to feel isolated in this friend group, and he doesn’t want anyone else feeling that way.

He’s done doing things just to please [Y/N]. If [Y/N] can live her life without worrying about him then he can do the same. His only concern being the little girl asleep on his lap.

______________

Series Tag list *closed* if i got your name wrong please message me[TO THOSE CROSSED OFF PLEASE FIX YOUR SETTINGS, STRIKES HAVE BEGUN] ALSO PLEASE ENGAGE IN THESE POSTS. IF YOU DON’T ENGAGE I MIGHT CONSIDER TAKING YOU OFF, SIMPLY BECAUSE I HAVE A LONG LIST OF PEOPLE WHO WOULD LIKE TO BE ADDED. MY FEELINGS WON’T BE HURT IF YOU ASKED TO BE TAKEN OFF: