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@savingember-blog

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what is the source of our misery? the darkness covering our history?
fragrant aromas streamlined into distinct frequencies â
with flickers of infinity in a realm of distortions
they sure buried us deep â unknowing we were seeds
even if weâre dead in the memories of the counterfeit gods â
the false immitators
we still carry the divine spark of the one and only infinite creator
How do I protect myself from you, without becoming like you. I see you, I see who and how you are, I notice, even when I pretend not to. I suspect that youâre cruel because that is what they taught you. I feel for you. I feel everything all of the time, all of your feelings and all of mine. I feel it acutely, I feel, so you target me, and I let you. You hurt me over and over again, and some days I tell myself, no more, Iâm done. I convince myself that I will push you away or drag you down or pull you apart. But I donât. Because the pushing, the dragging, the pulling donât bring me peace, they bring me further from who I am, and closer to you. Hurting you, hurts me, even when I hate you. I donât want to forgive and forget. I want to forgive, but I want you to remember, I want you to think about it, I want it to bother you, I want you to care. But you donât, so I do, someone has to feel, even when you choose not to.

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from the cracks in the shadows
i rose
a wolf amongst sheep
trapped in the sorrow of the coldest streets
but i donât know defeat
the night is my home
where i innovate the moon is my friend
the darkness of potential is my canvas where i dance with the devil for answers
my name is black
welcome to my home
archonic wavelengthsÂ
in our thousand deaths as we oscillated through different wavelengths constantly searching for each other unknowing of the great strengths buried beneath.  i saw your face on a stranger passing me on the street and i thought for a moment and kept walkingâŚ.
wondering if you felt the same as i did. Â when the rain came down i felt you in my veins and in my heart i felt your pain and i felt a tear go down my cheek on a cold street pondering the source of the mourning with the sun rising over the ocean. Â maybe a part of me is missing and iâm broken. Â itâs crazy how a heart is a miracle to witness but weâre all trapped in our minds which have centralized all viewpoints into a box like a prison
this was supposed to be a love poem about how iâll love you forever â even past the walls of death even if you deceive me and drag my soul to hell
and we see ourselves reflected in the magic mirror as we float like ghosts in the underworlds of the archonic realms â in the dark and low vibration iâll help you see the light and the colors and â
no, donât go that way unless you want to get reincarnated, i thought i told you about the moon. Â this experience lasts only 6 seconds but there is an eternity buried in each second with infinite variables â
iâll follow you deep into the darkest pit of hell because when we have each other there is no such thing as death. and there is no such thing as fear. Â
weâre free from all constrictive forces of space, time, and matter. Â i promised you iâd never leave even in death because our souls are immortal
golden nazi lampshade
nazi, nazi? iâm not a nazi yes, i have blonde hair my eyes are hazel, i like to say green iâm anne, anne of fablesâbeautiful iâm princess, too, princess dianaâ compassionate, loving, kindâif i could have curly red hair, i would in a heartbeat, for i am miss rachael too; the light that shone upon me whilst shaking in a psychiatric facility; just the touch of her hand calmed me down. just like miss peyton, miss peyton: with short, curly brown hairâ i adore her; she is so radiant she didnât know me, yet she touched meâcomforted me subtlyâsubtly, i am her too i can never doubt the significance of the touch of a hand because these two women never did alone, aloneâiâm completely alone in this worldâgratefully, i have me i have angels, somewhere, but nazis? no, i could have, but i have a heart. donât youâ donât you know you become the company you keep? i think iâve met one once before: a sunny, blue-eyed old man, he was my very best friend until i moved in with himâoops. the following morning, i had a cut on my bodyâcream dripping between my thighs. i would have given that man my kidneyâ he gave me a broken heart then he warned me not to think lies. apparently, itâs ânormal to feel attackedâ when you move; however, he doesnât know how much i have done so. he thought i viewed him darklyâ no, i am not afraid of his worldly ties. you see? i never view anyone poorly, for i understand humanityâ its tendency to destroy one another physical, sexual abuse i can take: i âneed counseling"âi am âtoo negativeâ do you not know? what is one more abusive man, his hand one to strengthen you and me i may be golden, yes, but i am also native; i have ancestors on my side i am a warrior, a survivorâ donât subject me to my hair color just because some blonde man fucked a woman in my family treeâ that doesnât mean i am like the worst of them, you see i am the seven continents all in one beingâi am: i am every race, religion, ageâ i am even male too, for i know some men are rad i am a totem for me; contrary, i am a totem for you. reach outâtake my hand

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epitome of chill
if you tell me to chill, then that means youâre looking notice meâthat is all i want for i know many secrets, both true and notâmore corrupt than the current system thatâs the thing about secrets: lies, gossipâthey have potential to run either way polarization: negative, positive i just want you to seeâme? i will contribute to society with more than art i just need a bit of helpâ for i have attracted attention from many negative groups that solely wish to see me fail the truth is this: i am not against government i want to see it progress. the crown is coming; we are all on drugs. you wouldnât believe me if i told you how i know. intuition is strange; unexplainableâi have it for sure itâs sole purpose, however, is to enable progression for everyone on earth. importantly, for those that sufferâ iâm a natural mother, okay the truth about the man is this: he isnât all badâitâs corruption and hate within him that is; it is those that break the rules, personally or contrary, that enable misdeeds amongst us iâve survived such corruption; a circumstance similar to the aforementionedâindubitably i solely wished to follow the rules didnât intentionally drop dimes, but it seems that i didâ i am glad, however, for i wouldnât know the truth: real hippiesâ they donât cause little girls to lose their minds when they assume one to be a snitch iâm a glitch because i don't agree with medication nor drugs of any chemical makeup this is one of the many reasons i will never be an addictâ contrary to popular belief. my mind has been stolen from me more than once i donât seek anything but justice; surely, you know i have a dark pastâ promiscuously driven for years; however, i only lied when it came to perfection or showing my ass. my mom was an addict i could never be because of her i always just wanted a family, but she destroyed the only one i have on earth thusly, it may seem as if i am not on your side, but honestly, i am: if you are not corrupt, have love in your heartânice to meet you, i am ⌠you knowâ give me some signs; the crown is worseâ miss princess diana, the true queen of hearts, met a disturbingly untimely deathâ i have a newfound appreciation for sobriety, you see, as anyone probably would after being on the verge of insanity. centennial peaks gave me an anniversary for the start of my journey to the top of the mountainâthe pinnacle like you, i just want balance we are allies, or donât you know the truth? rabbits often lead one astray from the path of responsibility knowingly, i am on itâ an aspiring botanist, i have compassion for others. i see so much darkness, completely alone, i see so much, but i know that you do too. cameras? i do not fear themâ unnecessary if everyone tells the truth until we reach that point, i support them; they are surprisingly warranted i am but a pawn in this game for now the queen: i always wish to overcome the grass isnât greener if itâs only visibly cleaner due to a can of spray paint if we do not adjust, we will inevitably bustâheed my advice, i hope for the best this is wizardâs chess, now you know i will move if i am prompted to do so
forest fire
hi ken, iâm barbie letâs go! i knowâ itâs a barbie world contrary to the status quo, we both like rock ân roll peace, love, hugs bro, you were my best friendâthe male figure i have never had you were on a pedestal, completely adored, you could have just asked meâinstead, you left cuts in my crack for my lover to find no wonder he snapped you assed me, and although i may never know exactly what you didâi know i donât remember, i know you gave me water that stopped my tears i know the food was salty it was hot and then cold i know i was wet, so i left it was not your fault men will be men came over distraught and dressed like a âslutâ validationâi knew you at least i thought i did you were talking about nonsenseâi couldnât focus on your words, why why did you lean in closely, look at my eyes and laughâi saw them in the mirror but they just looked back everything was crystal clear as if i were tripping over the throne i undeservingly gave you, my dearest friend you were in my heart i came to confide in you you helped tear me apart i suppose you meant it when you said that someday i will blossom into a beautiful woman i just didnât know you would add fuel to the fire that was already burning me to the groundâregeneration the forest fire: hacks wildly, i will always return hereâs thanks to you and my other friends that solely seek to hurt me enemies, by definition just give me the knife next timeâi will stab myself we can save a lot of time physical pain? nah i can handle thatâmental pain is what is whack you keep breaking my heartâanchored it will always reattach itâs loveânot physicalityâ that is making me last you cannot touch me, corrupt meâeven as ash i am indistinguishable i will always come back
so much
mommy, heâs drugging me againâpoking, squeezing my arm again. how are you? are you still dark? still the phantom in my heart? influentialâalways youâre the pokĂŠ villain sugarâbittersweet blasting off with the speed of night i wonât surrenderâ that requires a fight iâm abra, remember teleport away iâm not playing your gameâi win with love and light, i will consume you slide down my throat or be swallowedâha takes me back to the times you fucked me in space had me chasing so much, i couldnât feel my faceâ what? whatâs the rabbit? the innocence i could beâbut i am a survivor: alice, sure, thatâs me âsheâs chasing the white rabbit,â you joked to your friendsâiâve adopted your references and run wild with my imagination be careful, you should stop unintentionally fueling meâa wildfire wildflower, anchored yet freeâflowing uni- multi-versallyâoh! infinite mind within a finite creation the mind is infinite are you following me? you unknowingly shed the light on meâ the transcendental path: meditation, bâ iâm higher than any drug could ever allow me in this universe the human experienceâ man, i thought you knew it, but you are still not anchored here in the coreâlight i just have one more observation more sickening than mostâyou never liked my friend: the golden blue ocean, free as can be, but you? you told me amidst losing my mindâapparently, youâre jewishâ who knew? not me race does not matterâcan you not see? we have three eyes, not two come on, bro dmtâyou once mentioned it to me, do you not know? it is spiritâ the spirit molecule inside all of humanity creation itself: itâs found in leaves like daises and other flowers, your growth depends on your potâyour mind open up, expand or donât and not see you clearly cannot, but i canât make youâ iâm not like that you deserve free will mineâyou once took me, do i not deserve the right to stabilize? hate has youâ youâre so blind for now, i am higher stillâbut i hope to hold your hand again someday do i not destroy you, my enemy, by deeming you friend? always you attack, attack i rise, rise i am cosmic sand open your eyes it may be painful to change at first but it is worth so much more in the end, worth so much more than your untainted name, worth so much more than the four elements on earth, sugar, so much more than your chemical high, so much more than your physical sky so much more, you can be so much
you watched her as she fell into the hell of your design yet she managed to somehow climb with tear stained eyes above all your lies her faith remained within protected from your sin her pretty soul intact you could never take that so watch her now my dear for itâs pretty damn clear she has risen above your inability love and instead holds on to the light that shines from her own radiant heart as she makes a brand new start
-Brie
psychological
doctor, doctor i think iâm in hell life savers in shower heads iâm stickyâjailed oâ, it turns out i could have left it was âall in my head"âsick, now 18 years passed mental evolution it was meds degression no meds progression boyfriend drugged you? baby, me too you thinkâ you have rights no, youâre a slut insaneâdehumanized white male phd, privileged he slapped you, baby? i know you liked itâtypical blonde whore play for boys, bunny bimbo air in your head be carefulâtoo pretty to end up dead shut up, take it you like the abuse in your nature domestication: female your feelings? not realâtheyâre invalid hell, so are you like your mother iâm a doctor you canât break from the cycle itâs psychological you are nothing to me or the world just an apple rotten, devoured to the core my pleasure waitâdoctor donât you know? cores have seeds you enabled my growth oâ, you are rottenânot me i know you, animal two heads: science so much on top yet you think lesserâdoctor domesticated, you like my blond hair better be careful i eat men like air youngâbut strong i survive amongst men careful regarding your penâis a strong tool for creation patients have rights right, hideâhide the paperwork next time or create another female survivor threatening your practice you act, acted doctor? nah you are flu you are swine i know what you did i am all in caution, doctor if you do it again mistakesâtestimonials abuse of power my head, sir, itâs all in oâ, i will shake youâ i will shake your hand compassion, mutual? potentiallyâitâs needed compassion for humans doctor, you have a choice jump inâ drown or swim truly, the man unruly conformist even the strongest need support stability, itâs warranted itâs called help do you need someâ some floaties to keep yourself up i have air in my head, doctor we can all float on

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misconceptions
masquerading in dress makeâprecious belief saccharine bodily sludge patiently waiting, crystallized flawless adolescence dreams destructively spent dead? mine too backwards, forwards upside down, floorboards drop to your knees, golden babyâ the man, relentless pussy-grabbinâ crack o âfreak of natureâ contort and twist gifted, finite illusionist yes, great deceiver, stake! match! âwitch!â âschizophrenicâ mystic checkmate, oppressorâ mass cultivated power discovered within unlike you, a fucked little girl delves deeply destroying, of course, by looking withinâ unplanned, a systematic source corrupting corruption glitch in the matrix poofâpsychic ability light magic, white witch
Go back and take care of yourself. Your body needs you, your feelings need you, your perceptions need you. Your suffering needs you to acknowledge it. Go home and be there for all these things.
Thich Nhat Hanh (via withlovingkindness)