aries: say “don’t worry, I got this” while carrying 50 pounds of groceries and someone offers to help

taurus: sleeps with at least one stuffed animal, four pillows, and two blankets

gemini: gets really excited over puzzles/ loves rubix cubes and chess, nerds

cancer: tbh I love it when u shut the fuck up (jk ily) bakes cookies and feeds everyone, makes sure u never go hungry

leo: gets really excited about random little things and yells at u until u at least pretend to be excited too

virgo: makes little adjustments/straightens a crooked picture frame or arranges the flowers in a vase until they look “just right”

libra: always smiling and humming, smiles at animals, birds, strangers, everyone to spread a lil love

scorpio: stares at u but looks away just as u catch them, gets cute/needy when ur alone together and super shy/distant around other ppl

sagittarius: laughs at everything, quick to make u mad but just as quick to awkwardly apologize, demonstrates affection via violent punching

capricorn: makes savage comments with a straight face, acts like they don’t have a sense of humor tho they’re secretly masters of comedy

aquarius: science nerd, loves facts about space/biology/whatever, probably thinks physics is “exciting” 

The 1970s Cold War Bunker Deep Below Las Vegas

Does Chirstian feel like home? Do you feel held by him?

That’s what you were sacrificed to. But I - have always felt...held. By a family. A real family. Which everyone deserves. And you deserve.

Dang no kidding! These grinch ads are PULLING ZERO PUNCHES.

I dunno how this helps advertise a movie for children, but grinch is woke, dang.

W-what are you saying here, grinch

Husband: Whoa, have you seen young Patrick Stewart?!

Me: I don’t think so. I kind of assumed he’s always been old.