saudade

radio, bleed me a melody. (playlist) // always accepting !!

[ 1 of 4 ] i fucked up

1. time bomb - all time low

two kids, no consequences.pull the trigger without thinking.

2. secret love song - little mix ft. jason derulo

stolen moments that we steal as the curtain falls.it’ll never be enough.

3. is there somewhere - halsey

i’m sorry, but i fell in love tonight.i didn’t mean to fall in love tonight.

4. there’s a fine, fine line - avenue q ost

i guess if someone doesn’t love you back, it isn’t such a crime.there’s a fine, fine line between love and a waste of time.

5. dancing on my own - calum scott ver.

and i’m right over here. why can’t you see me?and i’m giving it my all, but i’m not the guy you’re taking home.

6. a drop in the ocean - ron pope

i was hoping that you and me might end up together.it’s like wishing for rain as i stand in the desert.

7. all over me - lindsey harper

in the space between what’s wrong and rightyou will find me waiting for you.

8. tonight - kate walsh

[...]

He turns the knob, pushes the door open with one hand while hiding a yawn behind the other–

Then stops in his tracks. He squares his shoulders, glances shrewdly around the room for any other intruders and narrows his eyes at the one staring him in the face. He is unarmed, as one usually is when wandering about their own estate. But it does not show in his stance.

“Explain yourself immediately or I shall have to alert my guards. Are you a thief or a spy? For which crime will I have your head?”

Jaebum should be more concerned about his life when he heard the threat, he should have been trying to find a way out of the office that clearly the voice’s owner knew better than him, but he didn’t. And it wasn’t just because the male looked quite younger than the weight of his threat or because he wasn’t carrying a visible weapon with him, but because Jaebum never bowed down to lords, he trusted too much in his own abilities to just surrender.

So when he turned around and faced the gracious features of the younger male in front of him, there was a ferocious smile, almost manic, on his lips and he took steps forward, not exactly caring about having his presence noticed.

Perhaps it all happened too fast, perhaps the rumors were true, about how pirates were able to walk among shadows and be at one place and another at the same time, but again Jaebum just didn’t believe in rumors, nor stupid tales told to aristocrat children.

What he did believe was his hand covering the lord’s mouth and the door closing behind them, and Jaebum’s face too close to his when he spoke, low but clear. “Your men will be probably dead, don’t mistake me for some ignorant person. Now do I have your attention?”

     “so you’re saying that my coworkers think i’m an awful human being? you tell a guy he needs to lose some weight and suddenly you’re the bad guy. who knew,” woobin shrugged, faking a story. he was pretty sure he saw it on some show. this guy was so unaware of how awful he was. personally, woobin thought it was hilarious.

     the male crossed his fingers over his knee and smiled, “let’s play, doc. let’s say that is true. let’s say that i have a narcissistic personality. let’s say i prefer crude jokes that call out people’s flaws. i mean, there are worse things. i could be a hit man or serial killer. i’m just the office jackass. i say kudos to me.”

     he was tempting fate with his words, but he was wondering if he could get some sort of reaction out of the other male. he really hoped so.

“ I wouldn’t know how your coworkers feel about you. You’re my patient, Woobin, not them. I’m not interested in what they think of you but I’m certainly interested on how your relationship with others can damage you. What happens to you so you act that way. I won’t offer you a miracle solution for that I’m not a magician, but if you understand what happens to you, perhaps you can change. If you wish, of course.”

Seokjin still thought the man in front of him was playing a part, pretending to be something, to try to look too interesting for the doctor in front of him, when things were possibly easier and simpler, but he didn’t know. The wall built around Woobin was strong and he was going to have trouble.

But he never backed away from a challenge and this wasn’t going to the a first.

[...]

jeonghan planted his feet back on the ground, tried to smooth out the wrinkles on his jacket. once again, he stuffed his hands into its front pockets, ready to start moving up when the question hits him. ah, shit. how was he going to say this without sound like he was committed? in a sense, he was. but, again, not in the way jongup was thinking. this whole meeting was filled with assumptions. jeonghan decided to just give it straight (ha!). “for veo, actually.”

he kicked at the concrete ground, forces himself to look directly into the other’s eyes - look at me. look at me. look at me. it’s not what you think. why do you think i’m here? “he gave me a recreation of the first day we met - inside a snow globe. i gave him a ring. you know. like best friends do.” he sounded defensive, and so he sighed, feeling like he was being put on the spot. “i’ve known him a decade, mon chèr. if i was sure i wanted to marry him, i already would have. it’s really not what you think. or, you know, what everyone thinks for that matter.”

It was official, Jongup could listen to Jeonghan speaking for a long time and he would never get tired. It never occurred him that he would miss their long bickering moments until they were actually gone. The saying that you’d only miss something when you don’t have it anymore came biting him in the ass for almost three years now, if he counted the months they simply stopped talking for no reason

Yeah, no reason at all, Jongup, quit being a liar.

You’ve been lying to yourself for as long as you can remember since you arrive at Hogwarts. You lied when you said you didn’t care about people, you didn’t care when they pointed you saying you were there just because your father paid for your stay. You lied with your smiled and teasing when your head hurt so much because you remembered something from your past. You lied when you said you didn’t care that Jeonghan was now after Kris, that only cared about himself.

Liar. Liar. That should be your second name.

But obviously it was easier to pretend there was no reason at all, that the connections the two of them forged with others weren’t going to affect them, that their relationship wasn’t going to change if they paid more attention to other people other than themselves, that they weren’t going to miss the lingering touches, the secret meetings, the hushed kisses behind closed doors.

How naïve they were.

And how Jongup missed him, just his presence. Having Jeonghan there made him feel like the stupid student again because he suddenly felt like misbehaving, even if he was there, in another reality, a future that wasn’t exactly planned for the two of them exist at the same time, but now that he was there, it felt almost as unimaginable that he didn’t belong there in the first place.

“The last time my best friend and I shared a bonding moment, we made some kind of blood pact.”, he half joked, the silly memories of him and Yifan as teenagers, playing with their wands and experimenting things before he was thrown to Durmstrang. Promises that they were going to keep talking, keeping writing, never letting their friendship die, everything now coming to life as he fully understood what Jeonghan was trying to say.

Still, it felt weird and bitter, that taste that there was something there that he didn’t know, or he wouldn’t want to know. Because Veovis Jung was a special part in Jeonghan’s life and he could deny that, he couldn’t ask for things to change like that and he wouldn’t. but he was also human and he also felt jealousy consume him, even if he wanted to deny.

After all, their encounter wasn’t supposed to mean anything, right?

Yeah, you liar.

“You never know what can happen. Sometimes you have a person by your side for the longest you can remember and only when they’re not anymore, you realize you want them to be there more than anything.” Only when his eyes are locked with Jeonghan’s and he actually realized what he just said, he chuckled, shaking his head briefly only to pay more attention now to the stairs in front of them.

“mmm,” woobin nodded his head as he waited for her to boot up the laptop and get things going. a lot of thoughts were running in his mind, but he tried to clear them at least until she could tell him some more information. 

he glanced at the clock after being told that the invitations would be out for dinner at seven. that meant there were still four hours or so to kill in the meantime. well, assuming that clock on the nightstand was right. 

“wait, are you going out?” he asked, making a mental note that she was purposely disobeying actions given to her. “they told us to stay put. i can’t let you leave my sight.” he exclaimed, taking hold of her arm before she could move nay further.

“i’ll go with you,” he told her, unsure of what she even had in mind really. maybe he was just asking for trouble. however, there could be leakages if they didn’t go together at all times. “they might come ask you questions. we need to be there together so we have all our facts straight and know what’s been told or not told,” he pointed out.

that made sense, right? he wasn’t just being overbearing? “the tux has already been packed,” he noted, letting go of her so that he could grab it and hang it up to keep it from wrinkling too much. he already had a bad feeling that it was more crinkled than it should have been since he shoved it in his luggage instead of carrying it in his hands. 

“anyway, what are we doing now?”

She wanted to laugh, really, the look on Woobin’s face was priceless because he just didn’t know what he had been signed off. One of the things the agency did was to send them to missions, all they cared about was for their agents to get everything done in the end, so it didn’t matter what they would be doing in the middle.

But of course agents like Woobin were so driven by the work and to follow rules, that they would see whatever agents like Yuri did as something abnormal. And it was absolutely normal that they thought that but she was a free spirit, she had another real life besides the one as an agent, so it’s just obvious that she was going to work, but also fully embrace the role she had to play.

“Hey, no touching.”, he pulled the hand right away and looked at him, startled because that was just the weirdest thing that happened so far. Perhaps Woobin thought it was a good idea to fully embrace the role of a husband, but she wasn’t the loving wife. “You don’t have to come with me. It’s not like people will approach the wife out of the blue, you can stay. Better yet, you can go out and check the place around, try finding exit spots if we need them, so we don’t have to improvise if something bad happens.”

Yuri hated to give out orders or to  act as if she was the bitch boss in the room. That’s why she hated partners, because she hated giving them instructions and telling them not to worry about what she was going to do.

“Again, you don’t have to come with me. If anyone comes to talk to me, I’m a devoted wife on my honeymoon. Let’s enjoy this moment, while we investigate. To be inside the room doing nothing will just make us restless. You need to chill.”

Alec Lee was many things. a troublemaker to teachers, an adventurer to others, a popular kid or a top class quidditch chaser and lastly a Gryffindor through and through, so of course naturally the prank that he’d pulled on his friend was enough proof of that. he was just sad that he couldn’t be there when it happened. 

instead he was stood outside in the cool air, eyes glued up at the stars and the different constellations, picking out the ones he could remember from class and the ones he and his brothers had used to navigate when they went camping in the woods that one time. he’s snapped out of his thoughts when he hears a person hurriedly making their way towards him.

the others words echoed out around the empty pitch, and a grin graced his lips as soon as the first word was spoken. he remained his back to his friend, a small chuckle erupting from his lips as his first response to the others clear annoyance. “Well i thought it was comedic gold, after all my great mind was the one came up with the idea” he pivoted on his heel now facing the other, devilish grin still intact. 

“ hmm, Sebastian Lee a naughty boy. who would have thought.” his eyebrows raised up in a sarcastic shocked expression, the only thing suggesting that it wasn’t quite sincere was the grin that instantly returned back to his lips. “don’t worry, i’ll make sure you get the punishment you deserve” an airy laugh accompanying his words followed by a wink. 

without warning he tossed the extra broom in his hands at the other, adjusting the other broom under his arm as he did so that he could pull his goggles over his eyes. “how about we get up in the air and practise some more hm?”

Sebastian tried, as hard as he could, to remain serious while Alec spoke, but it was almost like an impossible task because it was actually fun if he stopped to think about what happened to him. if this was with anyone else, they would be laughing too much, so why shouldn’t he? The answer was because he probably because he didn’t want to make his friend look too victorious about it.

“You know you’re opening a door for my payback. And they say payback is a b****”, he didn’t swear, because despite what people thought of Gryffindors, this one was a gentleman and he never said bad things, not even when he was up there in the sky, flying and missed a catch.

The idea of being a naughty boy and the way Alec pointed that out made Sebastian feel suddenly very shy because he wasn’t like that, he was just a guy, a random and ordinary guy. Alec always implied stuff like that and made him feel…weird; he rolled his eyes in response, crossing his arms. “I’m…I’m not that. You make it sound almost dirty, Alec, stop playing like that.”

And just as any expert, Sebastian grabbed the broom thrown in his direction, the smile now almost too intense, the idea of flying was intense and he felt like somebody else, as if he could conquer anything he wanted. “You mean we’re going to fly and I’m going to make you sweat. After all, you’re always playing while I’m on the bench. You need more practice than I do. We need to get that title this year.”