Satorui's Tumblr

based off funny twitter meme

either way, she always has at least three kids, sometimes more. you don't want to ask when she had them, but she had to have them young because her youngest had to have been born when she was at least seventeen based on how time works. you just watch it happen. you can't save her.

she's smiling but there's something missing in her eyes - a spark that should be there. there's no passion, there's just the movements of the day. sometimes she'll give an interview where she says she barely feels like getting out of bed, and other times she says nothing. you just watch it happen. you can't save her.

her world isn't real - it's neat kitchens and made from scratch cheese. she tells you how she doesn't need feminism because she likes this life, she likes wearing pretty dresses, don't you dare pity her. you just watch it happen. you can't save her.

you scroll up to an ex tradewife in her forties talking about how her husband divorced her and left her for a younger girl, leaving her destitute and penniless and twenty years out of the workforce. you scroll again to a pretty young girl saying she doesn't need a job, her husband will take care of her. you scroll again. you just watch it happen. you can't save her.

another woman, this time in her early thirties, talking about how she just managed to leave her abusive husband and has nothing and he took the kids, warning and pleading young girls to not fall for tradwife lies. you scroll again to a young tradwife girl saying that would never happen to her, and you're just jealous of her. you just watch it happen. you can't save her.

you scroll again. a teen girl tells you that she'll just track her period, she doesn't NEED a toxic chemical like birth control. you scroll again to an obgyn pleading with young girls to understand birth control is just hormonal, and that period tracking isn't effective. you just watch happen. you can't save her.

you scroll again, and it's jd vance saying how women belong in the homes and shouldn't be allowed to vote. that their husbands should decide how they should vote. you scroll again to a domestic abuse counselor telling women their vote is private and they can lie to their husbands. you just watch it happen. you can't save her.

"(white) america has no culture"

is not the same statement as

"white american culture is so deeply rooted in white supremacy + white patriarchy + white christianity that once you, a white person, have found yourself outside the hegemony (by choice or not), it becomes impossible to participate in nearly ALL of your former culture, because there is so little left untouched by bigotry. not only that, but if you attempt to reconnect with your pre-colonial ancestral culture/s as a white american, you are very often perceived (a) as celebrating whiteness specifically, due to certain cultures being plundered by nazis for symbolism; and/or (b) as a wannabe/faker, unwelcome in "authentic" non-american cultural spaces, bc white americans trying to claim xyz heritage are often talked about as being the most annoying people on earth. which isn't even false! they ARE really annoying!!"

and when you walk into that second discussion assuming that it's the first, your condescending ass just looks stupid. we all know white america has a culture, we're frustrated because being anti-racist, anti-patriarchal, and non-christian usually means that we're cut off from it. and queer culture, while rich and diverse, is incredibly fractured, diasporic in a unique way, and for many people it cannot fill that gap.

"(white) america has no culture"

is not the same statement as

"white american culture is so deeply rooted in white supremacy + white patriarchy + white christianity that once you, a white person, have found yourself outside the hegemony (by choice or not), it becomes impossible to participate in nearly ALL of your former culture, because there is so little left untouched by bigotry. not only that, but if you attempt to reconnect with your pre-colonial ancestral culture/s as a white american, you are very often perceived (a) as celebrating whiteness specifically, due to certain cultures being plundered by nazis for symbolism; and/or (b) as a wannabe/faker, unwelcome in "authentic" non-american cultural spaces, bc white americans trying to claim xyz heritage are often talked about as being the most annoying people on earth. which isn't even false! they ARE really annoying!!"

and when you walk into that second discussion assuming that it's the first, your condescending ass just looks stupid. we all know white america has a culture, we're frustrated because being anti-racist, anti-patriarchal, and non-christian usually means that we're cut off from it. and queer culture, while rich and diverse, is incredibly fractured, diasporic in a unique way, and for many people it cannot fill that gap.

"(white) america has no culture"

is not the same statement as

"white american culture is so deeply rooted in white supremacy + white patriarchy + white christianity that once you, a white person, have found yourself outside the hegemony (by choice or not), it becomes impossible to participate in nearly ALL of your former culture, because there is so little left untouched by bigotry. not only that, but if you attempt to reconnect with your pre-colonial ancestral culture/s as a white american, you are very often perceived (a) as celebrating whiteness specifically, due to certain cultures being plundered by nazis for symbolism; and/or (b) as a wannabe/faker, unwelcome in "authentic" non-american cultural spaces, bc white americans trying to claim xyz heritage are often talked about as being the most annoying people on earth. which isn't even false! they ARE really annoying!!"

and when you walk into that second discussion assuming that it's the first, your condescending ass just looks stupid. we all know white america has a culture, we're frustrated because being anti-racist, anti-patriarchal, and non-christian usually means that we're cut off from it. and queer culture, while rich and diverse, is incredibly fractured, diasporic in a unique way, and for many people it cannot fill that gap.

since i wrote this post, i've been trying to intentionally notice pieces of culture that feel authentic to me, no matter how small, to better identify where i'm from and where i'd like to go.

and, as part of that, i've been able to articulate that a big part of my frustration comes from the fact that i don't share very much, culturally, with a vast majority of americans my age. because i was raised in an abusive household which aimed specifically and explicitly to deny me access to the culture of my peers. like, that was the primary driving force behind every decision my parents made, and they told us this often. thus, what can be considered my culture, as an individual, is an extremely limited palette--and it's all bad. like ~100% of it, give or take a few hundred-thousandths of a percent.... it's white evangelical christian supremacy all the way down, baby. i have incredibly little from my first 20 years that i can hold onto as a piece of my early self that i actually want to bring into my current self.

Masquerade is, to me at least, more a game about impersonal horror. Like yes, you are an undead horror and it’s a difficult and tenuous thing at the start to try and keep your humanity amidst the whims of the Beast. But, the issue is that there is the Metaplot, the constant warring of ancient sects and the influence of elders who were reborn centuries before you ever came along. Elders who rule with iron fists, whose immense power keeps the world of night running as they want it to be. You have modern technology they don’t and refuse to understand? You’re dead. You have something they want? You give it, or you’re dead. In that, it’s hard to not focus on the external threats over the internal ones because your survival instincts are going to be kicking in overdrive. A very human thing, and that which is human keeps you human. Or close enough anyways.

Requiem on the other hand is very much about the personal horror. Due to the game’s flexibility, it’s easier to imagine your character having to worry about the decay of their sense of self. You’re not always beholden to the machinations of your fellow kindred, often times you can do your own thing and end up paying for it since even using disciplines can freak you out if your humanity is high enough. Wanna use Dominate? Geez it’s creepy how people just do what you want. Resilience? Ugh, your arm can not be in that position. Asphyx? Being a cloud of toxic gases is jarring, isn’t it? Everything claws at your humanity, threatening to leave barely holding yourself together. And the mechanics reflect that. In Masquerade, the 5E additions using the scavenged mechanics comes off as doubling down in an attempt to increase the hardship without actually addressing the other aspects of the game that they ended up shaving down in an attempt to compensate.