(whispers) something beautiful is going to happen

i think i just had a regular human experience

ilya voice [sadly] i love bad bitches [forlorn look] that’s my fucking problem….

harrow's relationship with gideon's name is insane to me. like she hardly ever says it. she almost never actually says gideon's name, and when she does it's usually a big deal. the first time of course being her shouting "gideon! gideon!" after the avulsion trial, a rare display of open attachment and concern. the other that stands out is when her last words in harrow the ninth, for all intents and purposes, are gideon's name, even though she doesn't even know what she's saying. i don't think harrow ever once says it lightly, without really truly meaning something by it. but the rest of the time? the rest of the time she calls her "griddle." which is transparently babytalk. fucking insane that harrow's mean annoying nickname for gideon is just. just her struggle to pronounce it as a toddler. how perplexingly cruel and vulnerable is that. parroting your own babytalk at someone. you have always been stuck with me and you always will. you will never escape our shared childhood. i am as fundamental to you as you are to me. your name was one of the first i ever tried to say. i have been asking for your attention for our entire lives. i have been calling to you since before i could form the syllables. gid-oh! gid-oh! gid-oh!

HEARTBREAKING: friends who i should be going to the movies and playing dnd and watching anime and cosplaying and going to the mall and having sleepovers and exploring the woods with live one hundred trillion miles away