As Told By Me.

Bond girls are out. Blanc girls (underprivileged women who screw over rich assholes with the help of this silly detective) are in.

me doing that thing princesses do where they lift up their dresses when they run so they don't trip but i'm wearing a lab coat

the horror of this horror season is honestly mostly in how fucking bad they are rolling

it's easy to get past cerberus actually. you just have to say "who's a good boy? who's a good boy???" then slip past while his heads start to fight each other over who it is

however once you're past you must always turn around and say "it's you! and you! AND you! it's all of you! :D" because it's only fair and he is. they all are.

@spiritspodcast

most disappointing type of spotify playlist is when the cover is like a classic painting and the title is super niche and long like “the wind grips my heart with icy terror but i walk into the fire” and then all the music is like. top 40 pop.

It's so fucking unfair that Daniel Radcliffe, Elijah Wood, and Robert Pattinson have never been in a movie together where they all play the part of dirty little gremlin man that must go on a grand quest of some kind in which they spent the entire film arguing, lighting each other on fire, inexplicably dressing in drag to sneak into locations that welcome both men and women, and singing old sea shanties.

waiting for my knight in shining armor (ibuprofen) to rescue me from the horrors (head hurty)