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taylor price
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ojovivo
"I'm Dorothy Gale from Kansas"
PUT YOUR BEARD IN MY MOUTH
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NASA
Jules of Nature
Misplaced Lens Cap
todays bird
titsay
h
we're not kids anymore.
let's talk about Bridgerton tea, my ask is open
Lint Roller? I Barely Know Her
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One Nice Bug Per Day
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@sassysadbitch
Death Wish
I just have one wish God, I beg that the moment you have written death for me, please make it painless; that my loved ones know that I died peacefully without any suffering that I don't feel pain when I am leaving my family. I mean the pain of leaving my family will be far greater than that of dying, hence I really want to focus on the former than the latter.
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Rings, bracelets, pendants, all kinds of gifts, given by anyone signify that the person who’s gifted them remembers you, likes you, maybe even loves you and considers you a good friend/lover. Years ago, I was gifted a pair of earrings by him, when we were together, I used to find excuses to wear them, trying to grasp every opportunity to have them dangling in my ears. It felt great to wear them, they were a symbol of his love, his care towards me, but when things started to get awry between us, I slowly stopped wearing them, kept them away from my sight so as to not wear them.
And now when I am writing this and planned to write this just seconds ago, another guy who I currently like has gifted me a bracelet, maybe he likes me, maybe he cares for me, I don’t know if he loves me or not, he has confessed it in his own ways, small hints, now that I am wearing that bracelet, FYI: I just had a fight with him, more like an argument, not a fight (here the writer is between fight and argument) and I noticed something, this is our third argument and he gave me this bracelet even before our first, I loved wearing this bracelet, but after our third fight, currently happening at a quite a serious note, I simply took it off and threw it on my bed and most probably I am sitting on it right now as I write. What can I say, I am not feeling any lovey-dovey feelings right now, be it him or this gift.
This is what I want to talk about, the fact that if there’s even a little friction between a couple, anything related to them seems to choke you or irritate you, the same goes for your lover. As of now, he’s calling multiple times on my phone, I really don’t want to even hear his voice, like… at all. I just want to be with myself till I cool off. But yes, the fact that this friction is strong enough to cause some kind of dislike towards him, is it normal? Is it how this is supposed to be? I don’t know man, I am clueless. It’s just a pattern that I noticed and hence I am writing about it, this pattern does involve feelings, I don’t know if it’s common with you guys, but this is something that bothers me. Hm.
I have deep love for the cat.
comics that convey emotion and state of being with color like this are everything. So incredibly nice to see and feel
I am crying. I miss my cat. that piece of shit left me for some random female cat!
All my life, I believed in romance, I mean I am a product born out of romance, my parent’s love marriage. A highly successful one. It gave me a lot of hope for myself, that one day I would fall in love too, and I did, but I also realised then and there; that I have a toxic habit, I get bored very fast and easily, I tried my best to hold myself together, will it be called love if I got bored of someone I love, or was it just a mood swing that I took too seriously, overthought maybe? I don’t know man, I am having a hard time falling in love again, the idea of commitment, the idea of loving only one person scares me to death, I like to keep my options open, just checking out the men I like, develop a crush and when I get bored, crush the crush right away.
You, see? It’s so friggin’ easy, but when you decide to love someone, you take a decision, a serious one, something that you have to, no matter what, the whole idea of relationship or love isn’t only meant to be based on emotions, it’s also based upon the ultimate decision where you want that person in your life or not. Currently, I have someone who’s absolutely in love with me, I don’t know, maybe he is, I mean he says so like that. I have some really strong emotions in me too right now, but I am scared to death, I am maybe overthinking, but my fear of commitment is trying its best to sabotage this brimming sapling of love, I feel I should ask this person to get away from me as soon as he can, I don’t want to hurt him, he’s too good a person, I don’t wanna sin, I don’t wanna hurt anyone, I don’t wanna hurt him.
I am confused and scared to death, I am tired too, the idea of even making an effort regarding this exhausts me mentally.
I have a feeling I am going to end up hurting him, and if this feeling gets strong, I’ll gently ask him to leave.
I wish whenever he watches 'Pride and Prejudice' or tries to read 'Wuthering Heights', he thinks of me and cries to sleep.
I eat pineapples and think of him, started consuming coffee cause it is his homie, I think of him and I cry to sleep.
That's all I want.
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"I miss him so much it hurts", she said while screaming out, those screams signify the amount of pain she's feeling right now, every part of her aches for him, and she's hesitant to pray to God to send him back to her, she still doesn't know if they'll be happy together. She just wants to forget everything, she's dying for crying out loud, those memories, his touch, his smell, his smile everything is as fresh in her brain as if it happened just yesterday, she wants to move on, but she doesn't want to let go.
I sometimes think I was his prized possession. I was something he had achieved in his life. He saw me as perfection until six months into the relationship, he saw the cracks. He had told me how six months from the date he asked me out to the time when I first caught his eye, he simply admired and noticed me. It was unbelievable because I saw myself as invisible. He tried you know, he tried his best to fill those cracks with love, assurance and whatnot. But it wasn't enough, and I knew I wasn't worth it. It wasn't only his fault. It was my fault. It was, it is, and it always will be. I am just too difficult a person to be with. I remember him saying, "You're too much". It was hurtful. It was the truth. I just wish we'd never met. He would have been happy with someone else, and I wouldn't have been suffering like this. Growth is supposed to be like this. Heartbreaks, trauma etc all contribute to character development, maturity etc. But this.. this is torture. It's plain old sweet misery.
—Lily
Broken hearts :/
I am crying in my mother's lap for a boy who broke my heart. My father saw me crying in my mother's lap for a boy who broke my heart. I was so blind, crying for a boy who broke my heart, and I couldn't see how my crying over a boy who broke my heart was breaking my parents' hearts.
—Lily
"I hope and pray I never meet you or end up with you in any dimension of any universe. The suffering and pain of this one are more than enough to go across the others."
–Lily
I am in so much pain, but all I can express is a *sigh*
What is this overwhelming anger that makes me feel shallow from inside out?
Will this silent suffering ever end?
Will I ever feel good enough?
These constant thoughts, screaming 'You are useless' with all their might, an amalgamation of others' voices who left me and of mine.
Will I ever be good enough, or trying to be enough will always be a waste of time?
–Lily
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Love. A wonderful feeling.
Correction: A supposedly wonderful feeling.
Then tell me why this feeling is so full of disdain for myself, why this feeling brings misery to my soul, compels me to scream in agony and curse my lover to die just because he isn't mine but then only leads to an impulsive realisation that I am in love and hence must pray for him.
Forever. And Always.
–Lily
"A concoction of alienated emotions surrounds me, but I am safe and sound; I feel choked, but at least I am safe. And there's something that scares me because this feels too high, these walls, they are too high. I want to jump out, but I can't, and the walls are too strong that I can't break them either, and neither can anyone else."
-Lily
God and assumption have actually saved my life. They have helped me almost forget him and move on. The fact he must be with some girl he likes or is in love with, them having all sorts of conversations, ranging from sex to politics to cartoons. The fact he's crazy about her and she blushes red rose when he looks at her. I do not remember most of the things about him. Such as him having a scar on one of his eyebrows or one of his front teeth being half broken. The fact that he has the most gorgeous set of black eyes. His hands, he has lovely hands. The most graceful boy I have ever met. The way he flipped his hair back, the way he brushed his hair back with his hand. The smile that always made me go weak in my knees. The way his hands move when he's deep into explaining something to you, his constant comebacks and those puns that always went over my head and annoyed him that I didn't get his joke.
Oh lord, I guess I still have some forgetting to do. A lot of it.
"Give me a daughter with your stubborn heart, or your even temper. Give our children your dark-bright eyes, or your enchanted smile. So that even when we are gone, the world will find within them all of the reasons why I loved you."
-Nizar Qabbani
I hear them both conversing about me, is this my obsession with them or me? I guess a violent streak of narcissism resides inside me. But I can hear those conversations quite vividly, 'the woman before' that's what they call me. Slowly and painfully, I am forfeiting the so-called heart in me. Destroying myself for someone who never bothered to like or love me. I always beg God to heal my extremely broken heart, cause slowly and painfully I am losing my mind and may as well be forced to kill my so-called heart.
-S.H.K.
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Hazar aayenge
Hazara jayenge
Tere jaisa koyi hoga nahi
Tera Jana zaroori tha
Esa tune socha tha
Toh humare liye
Kisiko chor kar jaate
Thodi meherbani toh kar lete
Aakhir Tera Jana zaruri tha
Esa tune socha tha
Scarlet Henriques
I am delusional. I once got so confused that I couldn't differentiate my reality from my dream. And I guess, I went crazy right after I fell in love. It's agonizing to death when you love someone so much. The pain makes you feel so alive in a way that you go bonkers. Sometimes, I abhor myself, I abhor the amount of love I have for someone who never loved me back. It almost sounds like I am self-pitying, but I am not.
Once, I had gone back to my hostel to get some of my stuff and asked him to wait near the hostel's main gate. When I came back, he was nowhere to be found, and at that moment I realised have I gone crazy. Because I thought that I was just imagining him, a beautiful dream and that he never existed in reality. But then I suddenly saw him, standing in the corner under the walls' shadow. And then suddenly the bitter truth pierced my heart, I couldn't believe that I was in love nor the fact that someone loved me too, even if it was the briefest love affair. After the passing of three months, it had become a cup of poison that I had to drink every day. I was unaware that I was drinking poison, the poison of love.
Some people keep telling me how breathtaking and amazing it is to be in love, and I won't deny it. It's astonishing to love a stranger so much so that in such a short period, you become incredibly accustomed to his existence. As if, his existence is all that matters in your life. You forget all about yourself, I have been told how I shouldn't do it the next time I fall in love. But you see, it's quite funny when someone tells me how to not repeat the same mistakes I made with my first love. I admire their optimism, and their hopes, they feel that one can fall in love again. I know a lot of people who have fallen in love an uncountable amount of times. I am in awe of their bravery, but I am not brave at all. You may call me a coward but I won't be able to fall in love again, ever. It's scarring and scaring. And I have more than enough scars and injuries on my heart and body, inflicted my me and my loved ones, including him.
