Bittern at the grocery store
A very elegant crime.
(edit: my partner just pointed out that maybe the bittern is going to pay, and that's a good point)
Don't worry, his disguise was flawless and he got away with his snack :)
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@sassyhazelowl
Bittern at the grocery store
A very elegant crime.
(edit: my partner just pointed out that maybe the bittern is going to pay, and that's a good point)
Don't worry, his disguise was flawless and he got away with his snack :)

Anya is live and ready to show you everything. Watch her strip, dance, and perform exclusive shows just for you. Interact in real-time and make your fantasies come true.
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trying to couch nap but theyāre observing me
I wanted to draw them
their shapes are compelling
are we simplifying them or something
Am I doing this right?
Fascinating
I sat behind the same girl in class all year and I was painfully jealous of her beautiful curly hair and I assumed she had just figured out some hair routine I didn't know, or had more time in the mornings than me, or was somehow more disciplined or just lucky. And then my friend talked to her one day and found out she gets 500$ perms and highlights 3 times a year. The answer was literally just money. The same friend found out that most of our classmates who I thought were just naturally smarter than me went to private highschools that cost 25k a year.
This is all a metaphor to say that there will be times when you feel like other people understand something that you don't, or have some ability that you don't, or are better than you in some way because they've accomplished something you can't. And it's going to turn out that they're just rich and they spent thousands of dollars to make that happen. You are not bad, you are not broken, the system is just fucked.
i'm not really into blondes but this is an objectively absurd connection to make
In order to be properly non-pedophilic you have to want to fuck somebody old but not with gray or white hair because that's too close to blonde which as we've established is the hair color of children. So ideally somebody old as fuck but bald. And obviously wanting to have sex with a man is misogynistic so it has to be a woman. And it can't be a white woman because that would be racist and it can't be a woman of color because that would be fetishistic, so ideally a woman with some unnatural skin color, oh let's say, purple. But it can't be an alien, because we don't know anything about alien life cycles so it could be an alien child or an alien that looks like a child. So it has to be an animal from Earth, but obviously one of human level intelligence that can communicate is otherwise that would be bestiality. So an old purple female animal that can speak English. I think the only creature you can be hot for is the Ant Queen from A Bug's Life.

Anya is live and ready to show you everything. Watch her strip, dance, and perform exclusive shows just for you. Interact in real-time and make your fantasies come true.
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u can just do whatever at any age all of the time nobody cares except teenagers
teenager will be like ur 40 with a hobby ? š thatās sad <- nobody else thinks this way though they are just going through some stuff
āIf I had time travel Iād kill Hitlerā āIf I had time travel Iād stop my favourite politician getting assassinatedā youāre all thinking way too small. If I had time travel Iād stop Neil Armstrong and Buzz Aldrin from dying on the moon due to Soviet sabotage, kicking off the Great Nuclear War and devastating half of the planet.
Good Job.
#this post gets me every timeĀ
Itās from two days ago fam how many times could there have been
do you think no one else has time travel
Happy one month anniversary to this post that has not allowed me a single day of fucking peace since I made it.
#surprise reblog!!Ā
STOP ITāS BEEN MONTHS. MONTHS!
YOU CAN STOP.
wow if only you had a time machine
Honestly having reached a billion notes I think itās safe to say that in the Year of our lord 2041, this is the most popular tumblr post out there.
Iām killing your parents before youāre born
Still here, whyād you hesitate @derinthescarletpescatarian
Your mumās ability to hold up under active gunfire was really hot. Iām your dad now.
Isnāt that the plot of Terminator
Where do you think the plot for Terminator came from?
This is such a classic trainwreck post that has the vibes of a 2014 screenshot posted to Pinterest and then the last addition is just last Tuesday I canāt even
Imagine how I feel
POST, LIVE FOREVER!!!!!!
It doesnāt have to
Yes it does.
Of course it has to, it gets a billion notes in 2041
Hanging out with people will make you remember you're the crazy woke friend for like. not wanting to shop at shien
The assholes openly admit it. The whole point of college is to enforce the hierarchy. When those who were supposed to be low on the hierarchy started going to college, the assholes get angry and want to make them suffer for challenging the hierarchy.
If you're cold, they're cold; let vampires into your home.

Anya is live and ready to show you everything. Watch her strip, dance, and perform exclusive shows just for you. Interact in real-time and make your fantasies come true.
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Holy shit, oh my god! 50 of them??
Me when I'm a sexy gay wizard that suddenly realizes they are being followed by 50 rats
OMG LMAO I WOULD NEVER RUN FROM YOU, 50 RATS, I JUST DIDN'T KNOW YOU WERE BEHIND ME
You know what you are so right... We have a bond, these 50 rats and I....
OH SHIT OH NO
WAIT
I CAN'T FEED THIS MANY RATS
Oh wait I'm a fuckin wizard lol
Yay :) Enough treats for everyone :)
Happy rat day to my most popular post ever
Iāve been trying to share this since I found out. They are moving onto harassing people in Memphis.
Community members face retaliation for trying to spread the word out, a lawsuit alleges.
Everyone was lovely in getting the word out about Chicago and Minnesota. I want to spread that awareness for folk in tennessee.
am i allowed to say kill all trillionaires or is that too specific of a threat
on survival
-// @aridante // @orivu // @buzzkillgirls // ? // ? // richard siken// @cemeterything // moomin, tove jansson// @disenchanted-killjoy // isn't that enough, shawn mendes// @ prettytheyswag on twitter// @ coletyumuch on twitter// ? // ? // bird by bird, anne lamott// undertale// @strawberrycircuits

Anya is live and ready to show you everything. Watch her strip, dance, and perform exclusive shows just for you. Interact in real-time and make your fantasies come true.
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can we bring back the term "fair-weather friend" bc I feel like if fair-weather friends got called that more this whole argument about whether or not you should be there for your friends when it's inconvenient/at what point of personal inconvenience it's ok to bail on your friends would kinda fall apart bc like. we literally have a word for "friend who's only there when you don't need something from them" because the baseline expectation is that a friend should be there even when it sucks. like we used to make fun of people for bailing on their friends.
she's the best of us