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trying on a metaphor
he wasn't even looking at me and he found me
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#extradirty
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DEAR READER

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@sassybitchassdevil-blog
everyone needs some sunshine in life

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This kid deserves some real love
damn rite he does
me every time I see a pretty girl
if i get hit by a car i wonât have to go to school
my friend got hit by a car he still went to school
what a nerd
underappreciated bird species
nicobar pigeon
golden pheasant
victoria crowned pigeon
kakapo
blue footed booby
long-tailed widowbird
greater bird of paradise
lesser bird of paradise
stork-billed kingfisher
frillback pigeon
Kea
LET ME TELL YOU A STORY ABOUT KEAS
THESE MOTHERFUCKING BIRDS ARE THE SMARTEST GODDAMNED CREATURES TO GRACE OUR MOUNTAIN SKIES AND I HAVE NEVER GOTTEN OVER THE SINGLE UP CLOSE ENCOUNTER I HAD WITH THESE AWESOME BIRDS
So I used to ski competitively when I was a kid. Every day Iâd pack my tiny lil backpack with a bag of scroggin (trail mix to u non kiwis) a bar of chocolate and one (1) lil can of Sprite. Then Iâd be off to the mountain to train/dick around (cos hey i was a kid.. i liked skiing,, fight me). After awhile Iâd throw myself to the side of the runs, take my pack off, set it to the side and just sit and enjoy watching people go past (aka fucking up) while having my scroggin and chocolate (i always saved the Sprite for last because it was my favourite). Now one time while Iâm perched on a little snowy ridge on Mt Ruapehu watching a snowboarder get dragged up the mountain by a T-bar and watching newbies ski off the trick edge of one of the black diamond runs I hear this noise. It sounds like someone letting air out of a tyre or oddly enough someone opening a small can of Sprite. I turn to the source of the noise to find a goddamned Kakapo sitting in the snow barely a metre behind me drinking my fucking can of Sprite
Not only had this motherfucker gotten into my pack WITHOUT ME FUCKING NOTICING he also had the gall to get a fucking can of fizzy PIERCE THE TOP AND DRINK IT
To this day I swear it was mocking me when it tipped its head up with the can stuck to its beak and drank my one (1) can of Sprite tossed it down looked me in the eye and flew off.
So yeah. Keas. Intelligent fucking bastards. Severely underrated.

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God I Wish I Were A Mongolian Archer
Bad Post OP. Longbow master race.
Bro, for real, quit turning my posts into lakes of idiots trying to legit discourse with your character. You are peak entertainment, and I have no idea how people still think you are for real, you fooled an entire ocean of people desperately looking for a collective, easy, acceptable punchbag, which is honestly admirable, but please, my crops are dying, I have contracted seven different salmonellas, I am running out of goat blood to paint my door with in hopes to survive the vicious patrols of the Angel of Death one more day. I just want to post about weaponry in peace. I am merely an innocent man who just loves weapons.Â
THE OFFICIAL COPYPASTA OF 2018 HAS BEEN SELECTED
@purposeofmymind for a chuckle đ
Reblog if your icon
is perfect
Every single white lesbian who has spent years complaining about the lack of lesbians on screen had better support The CWâs Black Lightning.Â
Anissa Pierce (portrayed by Nafessa Williams):
is a canon lesbian with superpowers (who goes by the name Thunder) who has, among other abilities, the power to make herself invulnerable (this means sheâs essentially unkillable-although she can be hurt/injured!)
Her comic-canon girlfriend Grace Choi (Chantal Thuy) has already been cast:
Grace is half-Amazon, and has superhuman durability and rapid healing abilities-which also help to make her relatively invincible!
Also, theyâre really cute in the comics:
So basically-support this lesbian, interracial, basically invulnerable couple on the CWâs Black Lightning-airing January 16th, 2017!!!!!
everything I wanted

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David Harbour always keeps a promise. [x]
KAGEYAMA TOSUUUU
people on here give yoda a lot of shit and say that he was a bad mentor but iâd like to contest that Yoda is and has always been cool as hell and the real problem was that in the days of the Republic he was forced into a shitty managerial position, where he had to worry about paperwork and massive unauthorized clone orders and vetting chosen ones and shit like that when really all he wanted all along was to be a delightfully shitty impish little grandpa living in a hut giving cryptic advice to teenagersÂ
Like remember that episode of the Clone Wars where the jedi council finally tries to put yoda in a retirement home because he starts talking to Qui Gonâs ghost and yoda calls anakin over like âhmmmâŚ. friends, we are, young skywalker. help me escape this silly place, you must. in it for you, a handful of Wertherâs Originals isâ like thatâs who Yoda is, at his core, and the stifling weight of Force monk bureaucracy took that away from him
Hand to god if all of the like administrative work of running the Jedi Order had been left to someone just slightly more competent and business savvy like IDK Mace Windu or Plo or Luminara or even That One Guy Whoâs Allowed To Fuck and yoda had been allowed to scamper off and just like, occasionally impart funny wisdom to jedi children and cheekily break all of the rules in front of them, this Darth Vader shit would have NEVER happened. Instead Anakin would have had the fun-loving, devil may care, âas long as in the house, you do it, young Skywalkerâ Bad Grandpa influence he desperately needed to balance out frazzled and terminally high-strung Teen Dad Kenobi
Anakin is out on one of the Temple balconies just stewing angrily about his sexual frustration towards PadmĂŠ and how Obi-Wan keeps warning him that he will be expelled from the Jedi order and then thrown into a big pit of lava if he ever even talks to a girl and that makes him sad and angry and emotionally confused, when he notices tiny little old man Yodaâs hobbling over to stand next to him with a knowing expression on his face.
âForbidden emotional attachments, we both have,â Yoda winks at him and pulls out a box of cigarettes. âTo nicotine, mine isâÂ
âWish to save your mother from a life of unlawful bondage on Planet Shit, you do. Very well. Feel like being bad, I do. Tell anyone I am helping you, you must not. Murder me, the rest of the Council would. ;)â
@trans-chandra
Okay, this is the best distillation of Yoda as a base person I have ever found. I mean, when you get that old, you kinda run out of fucks to give, eh?
âFucks to give, I have not.âÂ
rapper in a song: you know who this is!!
me:Â

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My People are too LIT.âđż
the lady who took off her coat and rolled up her sleevesâŚthatâs so me
This was awesome
how people think bilinguals speak: bonjour comment ça va- oh my! :) was that français? silly me, im sorry, hon hon hon, oh! did i do it again? mon dieu, it's hard to switch sometimes, my brain doesn't realize, je suis dÊsolÊe-
how we actually speak: no but you know that one thing, the uh, you put stuff in it?? no, nOT A DRAWER. it's... it's small!! and round!! oh my god, shit, fuck, u hh h... it's grey and metallic and uhhh.. fuck... it goes tin tin tin when you tap it with a fo- TIN CAN!! IT'S A TIN CAN!!