the last page of the internet

its time to take the turkey out of the oven. its done now.

the women of america were once promised that butch dykes would be lurking in all corners of society, ready to corrupt our minds and turn us all gay. what ever happened to that. where are the butches uncle sam.

when i was 9 i was banned from editing the muscovy duck wikipedia page because i kept editing any mention of the flavor of their meat to say things like “they taste like dirty dishwater” because i had pet muscovy ducks and couldn’t bear the thought of them being eaten, so i tried to run a smear campaign on duck meat

i hate looking at the thermometer and seeing some fuckass number like 2

you could go back but there is nothing and no one waiting for you there. LOL