Cosimo Galluzzi
art blog(derogatory)
Acquired Stardust
cherry valley forever
pixel skylines
Jules of Nature
Alisa U Zemlji Chuda
Origami Around
wallacepolsom
oozey mess
let's talk about Bridgerton tea, my ask is open
AnasAbdin
will byers stan first human second
祝日 / Permanent Vacation
noise dept.
izzy's playlists!
Monterey Bay Aquarium
seen from Norway
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@sarpedan
uh oh forgot to take the Pill That Makes Me Sane
lotta people in the notes also forgot to take the Pill That Makes You Sane...
I read this as "The Pill That Makes You Santa" and had a long puzzled sit on what that would mean.
TESTOSTERONE??????
tell me more about this pill that makes you sane
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i am delighted to inform you that wild bears seeking out and swinging on hammocks is in fact a fairly common occurrence!
thanks to @fandomislife03 for this extremely important information:
#as somebody born and raised in black bear country this is accurate #theyre also fond of backyard playgrounds
UPDATE: they also do this with backyard swimming pools
(and yes, same applies to kiddie pools)
oh 10/10 tags:
#The mama bear we have around here in the summer knows what she's doing#she stretches out in the sun under the fruit trees#and sends her cubs up the trees to throw fruit down to her
bears have no right to be as cute as they are
yes we all know about medieval jesters waging psychological warfare in times of combat, but wait there’s more!
at the beginning of battles they would ride in on horseback, juggling swords or lances, and taunt & bait the opposition. soldiers would get so angry they would break rank & weaken formations just to try to kill the fool
i should also mention that a female jester was referred to as a “joculatrix,” thank you that is all
PLEASE GIVE ME FRUSTRATED KNIGHT X AMUSED JESTER WHOS TAKEN AN INTEREST IN TAUNTING THEM ESPECIALLY
ART PROMPT
What if we were both opposite side of a war, and u wouldn’t stop mocking me specifically before we went to battle, and we were both girls?
isnt that just harley and ivy on an average friday?
everyone jokes about the pope's hat but most people don't know it actually serves an important purpose! evolutionary threat display to assert dominance against rival bishops
now you might think THIS is a plummage mating display
but popes are bred to aggressively seek territory and hierarchical power, not potential mates. so anytime you seek something like this, it's still very much a standard threat display
a healthy pope can spray holy venom up to 40 feet
batman but with anatomically correct bat ears
if i may humbly elucidate:
@ritzy-biscuit
@chocolatemicenwhiskey
Hope no one screams in those ears 😬
@origami-trust
I took a screenshot of your tags before you fixed them >:D
Can you imagine a bat dressed, crazed man driving by just yelling “ECHOLOCATION!”
@jovialjuggernaut @stephalupagous @untilfurthern0tice HERE.
didnt he do this to confuse Hal? just wear a cheaply made batsuit with massive ears and call himself deflatermouse or something?
Anya is live and ready to show you everything. Watch her strip, dance, and perform exclusive shows just for you. Interact in real-time and make your fantasies come true.
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why in hell's jingling bells am i having recurring nightmares about owning luxury real estate. who's out there beaming beachfront property listings directly into my frontal lobe. what's happening to me is this a death stage
ok now we've switched to 1980s runaway bride wedding comedies, which one of you fuckers stole the remote????
we've moved in the right direction and r switching wildly bt feminist horror and gay murder crime but would y'all PLEASE STOP FIGHTING OVER THE REMOTE
i hope its the murderers that are gay, LGBT dont have enough representation in the fiction mass murderer franchise
as a younger person I'd sometimes get overwhelmed with the violence of the world, not just human violence but the violence done to animals and by animals, the innate violence of being an animal. because an animal is, by definition, an organism that must consume other organisms to live. and this would lodge in my spiraling young adult mind, the tragedy that to live, to be a creature, is to cause harm. that life is sustained by consuming life.
eventually I got older (and medicated), but in the meantime spending time in woodland really helped. it comforted me to be around plantlife, which feeds not on life but on sunlight, and therefore causes no harm.
anyway now I'm reading The Hidden Life Of Trees by Peter Wohlleben (incredible book) and it turns out that was a big fat LIE. forests are violent as FUCK
life as a tree is fucking BRUTAL. ok no they don't actually eat each other (well, not until they've been broken down and digested by microorganisms first) but competition is FIERCE. sunlight and water are finite resources. survival rates are dismal. a tree can release a million seeds in a lifetime and have only one offspring live to maturity. some species evolved ways of stealing sunlight from trees who got there first, bidding their time as a sapling then shooting out from under older canopies to hog as as much light as possible. next-door neighbors? fuck em, let em starve.
then you get shit like epiphytes that decided to just grow on top of other plants. strangler fig vines, for instance, which decided well fuck, im just gonna cling to this tree trunk and let it do the support work. maybe entangle our roots and envelope my host completely over time. oopsie my host died? that's ok I'll just cling to its corpse for eternity
equally horrifying is the honeysuckle, which preys on young trees boa-constrictor style, squeezing the life out of saplings, which grow with permanent deformities before dying prematurely (makes for a neat walking stick though)
then you get out and proud parasites like mistletoe who are happy to attach themselves to tree canopies and suck their blood extract water and nutrients. so yeah some plants do eat each other actually. gives ya some perspective on the old christmas tradition of hunting mistletoe with guns (yes that's a thing, shooting them down out of trees like squirrels. yes, unlike squirrels they deserve it). as for the romance angle, who doesn't want to kiss a lover beneath the dying corpse of a parasitic trophy kill? sexy as heck.
in conclusion, PLANTS ARE VIOLENT AS FUCK, and that's not even getting into the eternal chemical warfare they are forced to wage against insects, fungi, microbes and other enemies.
one day soon the forests will turn on us, and when that day comes I'm cheerfully betraying humanity and skipping away to cross enemy lines 🫡
kofi
to those who thought this post was heading in a heartwarming direction, i do NOT apologize and i DO hope the forest and its creeping mycelium tendrils crawl their way into your nightmares
iirc the largest living thing on earth is a fucking mushroom, its covers almost 10 square kilometers
after all the hype for project hail mary i was pretty bummed they immediately defaulted to male language for the alien character of unknown biology. sir that is not a he/him it is a SENTIENT ROCK
but on the plus side, if its default male then its a GAY sentient rock
it's time to start naming boys 'Evelyn' again. need to rebalance the ecosystem
Marion and Vivian are going to be jealous
they're all endangered, we must repopulate
a footballer, the earl of Cromer and a movie star walk into this post
everyone jokes about the pope's hat but most people don't know it actually serves an important purpose! evolutionary threat display to assert dominance against rival bishops
there were rumours for years of the ultimate flex done by the pope, he could make a cardinal reach under his robes and fondle his balls to declare he was, in fact, a guy under the robe
the phrase "Duo testiculi ei sunt, et bene pensi" was used
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random info
Books used to be made with peoples worn out underwear
ghosts who are trying to warn you. ghosts who are a cautionary tale. ghosts who see you walking into the maw that chewed them to bits, and try to divert you, try to make you understand. ghosts who are trying to tell you something, who are begging you not to end up like them, an unliving prophecy begging not to be self-fulfilled
*sighs* ok fine i hear u tumblr. ghosts who want to seduce you sexually
🎵 Nut busters! 🚫
the way i pander to my fucking audience
gaud, i would like you to know that migrating from pinterest to here and seeing you active is like reading an ancient scroll about a terrible horror and then seeing said terrible horror at the coffeeshop next morning
it is so so SO important that you envision the Terrible Horror at the coffee shop thusly: bleary-eyed, hoodie & headphones, avoiding eye contact, huddled over a laptop in the corner hissing in fear at approaching baristas
remember, the wild barista can be driven off by using the english word for sizes, saying large instead of venti causes them 1d4 psychic damage
“angels have halos” bitch those are their antennae
actually since halos glow, it’s really more of an anglerfish lure situation
@biggest-gaudiest-patronuses what if the whole angel was the lure tho
so god is some sort of aquatic ambush predator?
Genuine question why the fuck is February only allowed have 28 days? why can't we just give it one of January's and March's extras and even the score to 30. what fucklehead is responsible for this conniving calendar thievery
well shit we really did just let the romans get away with any ole thing huh
I'm telling you guys. SIX days per week. THIRTY days per month. TWELVE months per year. A thirteenth "liminal month" of five days (six on leap years) between years, which is considered a holiday period.
Six day week is superior to seven because a prime number week is stupid. There's a lot of things that people like to do every second or third day; in a six day week, this is always the same days each week.
All months are the same length. Advantages obvious.
Thirty days is a good round number for a month; it can be divided into so many smaller numbers. Convenient for things that need to be done regularly; you can do them on the same days each month and have the gaps between them all exactly the same.
Every month in a given year starts with the same day. If the 3rd is a Wednesday, every 3rd will be a Wednesday. This is a massive help in scheduling bullshit that ends up happening "second Tuesday of every month" or whatever, and also helps people track regular monthly things (if you have a monthly meeting on the 15th, it's going to be the same day of the week every time). Fitting weeks perfectly into months just offer so many improvements for scheduling and remembering stuff.
The days move back with each non-leap year -- if the 1st of every month in 2025 is a Tuesday, the 1st in every month in 2026 will be a Monday. (This also happens with out current calendar as neither 6 nor 7 fit into 365). This means that if your birthday is on a Monday or whatever, it won't be that way every year -- only the same day of the month WITHIN THE YEAR (2 years in a row for leap years) is the same. (I bring this up because last time I mentioned this people didn't do the math and thought that the days of the week would be consistent across years, somehow, mysteriously).
Holiday transition period between years. You know you want it. People treat the Christmas-New Year's period like this already when their work lets them do it. Make it official.
Crucially, a week is 6 days but we keep the 2 day weekend
which day we chucking?
Monday
Tuesday
Wednesday
Thursday
Friday
Saturday
Sunday
the fuck is wrong with you people
i dont think this website allows posts that big
in a funk bc i wanna eat scrambled emu eggs
I lived in a place where duck eggs were cheap, and thus ate a lot of duck eggs (rich orange yolk, amazing when gently scrambled). I lived in a place where quail eggs were cheap, and thus ate a lot of quail eggs (hardboiled and marinated they make a versatile protein topping, but soft-boiled? ambrosia).
I have never lived any place where emu eggs were, to my knowledge, even available. this bums me the fuck out bc i suspect they would taste so good scrambled on toast. alas there is nothing in this world that could tempt me to set foot in australia
ive had scrambled ostrich egg, imagine if a normal chicken egg is from quik-e-mart and the ostrich is from whole foods or marks and spencer, and you have a vague idea about the taste
it came with wild boar bacon, i am saddened by the knowledge i will never have a breakfast that good again because the hotel it was served at closed down
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you need to take off the evil amulet RIGHT NOW mom said it's my turn to wear it
the evil amulet says it likes me waaaaay more
we both know the evil amulet will say anything to incite discord and also it said i wear it FAR more stylishly than you which is OBJECTIVELY TRUE
Wait I thought I had the evil amulet...
What amulet am I wearing then??? D:
that's not the evil amulet that's the cursed amulet. it's not sentient but it's been drinking your blood for awhile now. we all just assumed it was a kink for you
does it...do anything with the blood or is it just a thirsty little bitch?
tried to hatch an easter egg once
I- I don’t think I wanna know
didn't have a heat lamp so i kept it under my armpit for a week
If this were anyone else I'd be confident this is a bit
it was elementary school. the year before our class hatched a batch of chickens in an incubator, i knew they needed heat. plus i didn't want an adult to confiscate it. during class i alternated between my hoodie pocket and my armpit (warmer). solid logic
Was it a plastic one or a painted one?
well see that was the big issue
Answer the question gaud
this happened in June. Easter had been over for 2 months. Easter was not on my mind. so when i found a single perfect intact egg (not hollow) just sitting on the ground under a tree, it did not occur to me that
the tree was next door to a church, places infamously known for organizing easter egg hunts
a single perfect white chicken egg rarely appears in nature nestled against a suburban tree trunk
to read deeper meaning into the small splashes of color on the base (thought it was pollution or smthng)
no, i did not see a forgotten easter egg that had been left for 2 months to weather the elements. i saw a random egg, in need of hatching.
You see Gaud, I don't believe you. You absolutely saw a forgotten Easter egg and tried to hatch it
*sighs* let my motives be washed away by the tides of time. whatever my intentions, I tried to hatch a rotten easter egg under my armpit.
tragedy, naturally, struck.
"how did you not smell that it was a rotten egg" i have lifelong hyposmia (reduced sense of smell), an affliction for which my autistic ass is deeply grateful, given the issues i already deal with regarding sense of sound, touch, and sight (all of which could stand to turn that shit down a couple notches)
i DID, in fact, smell how rotten it was. eventually. in the end.
as i was saying, tragedy struck it straight outta the park. (it was entirely my own fault, for forgetting i'm not left-handed)
Did it break while under your armpit??! Gaud!
see we were doing timed multiplication tables practice sheets (top 3 students get candy) and i was so focused on the adrenaline of beating jonah (who was threatening my winning streak) and out of habit i stowed the egg in my armpit (as one does) but i chose the wrong armpit and when i realized it was already too late i had my pencil in hand and the countdown was on and candy and pride was on the line my elbow was already moving
more importantly, did you get the candy?
