Pure Insanity

We use “vanilla” as an adjective to describe “basic” despite it being one of the most complex flavor profiles on the planet.

If our age counted backwards it’d be terrifying. You’d always know how many years you have left before it hits 0.

It’s rare to find someone who really listens to you and cares about your thoughts, so it’s unfortunate that it’s considered weird to talk to yourself.

Having a night mode on microwaves where they didn’t beep would save us a lot of trouble and midnight snacks.

Injecting disinfectant into yourself is the heroin version of eating Tide Pods.

There is only one socially acceptable direction to face when standing in an elevator

ok some of you on here are not quirky and blunt you’re just mean

@sam-is-a-slimeball look @ doggo