Hello Sailor

i.

“We’ve fought off plenty of assassins before” I’m sorry Harrow you’ve WhAT

Runaan, master assassin: cannot tell blood from berry juice

… is Claudia reading straight-up dragon erotica in broad daylight?

It gets totally eclipsed by Aaravos so I forgot, but Viren’s voice: also pretty sexy. Especially when he’s sassing.

ii.

Definitely want to know the background of Rayla being brought on this mission because she’s really bad at this.

Claudia: “I’ll find a way to stop the assassins!” /stops to play with the primal stone and flirt with Callum

Rayla: “I will fix the humans knowing we’re coming by entering their castle in broad daylight!” oh baby no

Viren never missing an opportunity to be an absolute drama queen

Anyway don’t mind me over here finding the process of a character having their armor put on them piece by piece one of the single most narratively sexy things in all of fake medieval fantasy. Literally the only thing that could be more sexy to me than this is if it was Viren personally arming him, I’d die happy suffocating under the weight of the metaphor.

iii.

Claudia having to smack her arm to get her hand-light to stop flickering is truly the single most genius moment of humor in this entire show

I find it impossible to like Runaan, no matter how much soft backstory they give him, because he’s just… such an asshole. Like, what does Ethari see in this guy? Is his dick that bomb?

Like literally I was thinking back in ep2 or whatever, “oh, he’s sidelining Rayla to save her life, because now that their element of surprise is gone he expects the rest of them all to die” and now he’s just fucking firing arrows at her. “Your justice will come later,” please. No wonder this girl is so fucked up.

Callum: /falls down the stairs, me: … and then he died

Amazing how 90% of everything I obsess about in this show actually is in literally the first three episodes, what the hell

iv.

Opeli has a point, this city-wide funeral procession appears to be the same fucking night, like is the body even cold

Aaaaand Viren going zero to maximum drama, bud just find a grief support group please

Supreme jock Rayla enjoying being a nerd for a moment to explain magic to Callum

”I have this feeling that cube thing can help me” oh boy are you in for a surprise or four

YES AMAYA MY QUEEN

I actually love Gren too, like what a bro.

The soldiers in the background putting the Banther Lodge doors back on their hinges after Amaya kicked them down is also absolute chef’s kiss peak humor

First time we see the Key: it falls Star side up

Ezran: “[unconvincingly] Ow…” thanks, Netflix caption writer

Corvus: also very sexy, but everyone knows that