Sara Louie

I list Sustainable Development as my major and frankly, there is more that fits under that umbrella than I know of myself.  Which, yes, is why I intend to study it, but is also why when someone asks me to explain it, it is hard.  Sustainable Development is a very broad topic that in essence is about methods of planning and doing that are beneficial to the long term function of the earth.  It is not what would be best for this year, but what could ensure a better system for generations to come.  It includes sustainability of the environment, economics, hunger, poverty, water access, and more.

So while not to try to describe it all and confuse you, I’d like to point out a very important discussion that will be happening in New York City with 193 world leaders.  In 2000, the United Nations made a plan they called “The Millennial Goals” which outlined 8 problem areas that nations vowed to focus on and fix.  Now, they will outline 17 problem areas for the next 15 years in hopes of doing three things: “End extreme poverty. Fight inequality & injustice. Fix climate change.”* 

Here are three awesome videos about Global Goals.

The Global Goals: No Point Going Halfway

John Green: Is Poverty Necessary? Looking back at the Millennium Development Goals

“There are young people watching this video who may be among the first humans to see a world where extreme poverty and hunger are rare.”

IIED: Bringing the ‪SDGs‬ to life -- real change for real people

I wouldn’t say I was turned off from love, I just stopped caring.  After the passing of my grandmother I got lost in the pain and realizing how finite life is.  The first few months following were rough and I became depressed -- and repressed the way I used to let myself madly feel my emotions.  I became really good at not reacting. Expressionless face, logical answers.

I often noticed that my habit of reading of novels (mainly teen fiction) became more obsessive when I was out of any sort of close relationship with someone.  I realized, it was my way of escaping into the love lives of the characters and the adventurous spirits many of them had.  To reflect on my life and simply enjoy relationships and the trivialities.  Over the past two years I haven’t really let myself get lost in books the same way.  I read here and there, but focused a lot more on the physical nature of relationships because that’s all I could fathom to understand.  The emotional aspects became something I didn’t focus on because I didn’t want to feel those feelings so deeply.  Even if it was a happy moment, it hurt because I could imagine the pain of losing that connection too. 

Among many other personality and habitual changes in my life, caring about love was one thing I lost and have recently worked hard to find.  I’ve started to care about caring about love again.  It hasn’t been easy.  It hasn’t been simple either.  As you could imagine, I’ve a bit out of practice.  I had only interacted with people on occasion and not on the basis that I simply liked their company -- or needed it.  And while I was never the life of the party, at least I understood the conventions of small talk.  Now, it’s like learning it all over again.  How to make conversations with guys.  How to be a good friend. How to be personable with people so they like me.  How to portray the newer confidence I have in myself. There’s also lots of hoping that the comfortableness I had before will come find its way back to me. 

Of course, I am getting lost in books again.  Most recently a book called Fixing Delilah by Sarah Ockler where the main character seems to understand the divide between emotional relationships and purely physical relationships with others so that the pains of life are forgotten for a few moments (she names her “other” the “non-boyfriend”).  Because of her grandmother’s recent death, she has to confront her strained relationship with her mom, family secrets, and the reintroduction of her childhood summer friend back into her life.  Not to give too much away, she deals a new relationship with her friend, the shift from wanting a non-boyfriend to a boyfriend, and the struggles of letting her pain affect her relationships.  It resonated a lot with me, including the storylines about depression and hardships within the family.  Definitely a good read.

I’m starting to let myself feel again.  To not repress every feeling of pain, loss, excitement, or passion.  I let myself feel the pain of loss, feel the yearning for another’s touch, and dream about what could become of the relationships in my life.  Most importantly, I’m letting myself test the waters of new, uncertain relationships of possible friends and maybe even a new love.  

And get lost in some good books. 

My favorite birthdays have never been the key ages most people celebrate (i.e.: 16, 18, 21).  And to be quite honest, I’ve never been too excited about them.  Everyone thinks those are big deals, so what’s so special?  My big years? 15, 17, and now 20.

9 hours of combined sleep, a heartthrob celebrity, all my loves, serendipitous happenings, and volunteering at my favorite walk. Honestly, it couldn’t have been any better.

I really came to realize this weekend that friends from high school can really be forever and from all over.  I’m so grateful for the friends I have -- the people who greatly influenced who I am today.  They are beautiful people and the top photo depicts it so well.

I’m all about serendipitous moments. And even though there were only 100 students a grade in my high school, we ran into them three times at: 

a) the subway station b) the platform of the subway line you transfer to c) the club you happen to wander into

College has been a wild ride and I honestly couldn’t have survived without this girl right here.  In another serendipitous moment, I met my twin during freshman orientation and we’ve been tight ever since.  

So I’m lowkey obsessed with celebrities and pretty good at predicting celebrity locations and whereabouts.  Coincidentally, Pierce Fulton was headlining Webster Hall on our birthdays and I knew Ansel would probably show up for his best friend’s set before he started hinting it.

And I wasn’t wrong. What I didn’t expect was them announcing their duo Shirts & Skins and getting the chance to take a photo with him!

!!!!

Bless the photographer that also caught the moment in action.

Also, bless perfect positioning to be in this photo below...

From @shirts_skins Twitter:

At the end of our first show we had to take some pics w the crowd cuz they were so damn sexy ‪#‎SHIRTSANDSKINS‬ http://t.co/sB9KTHrepV" 

We definitely were a sexy crowd.

And while that was only day 1, day 2 was filled with partying in Queens with more high school friends at another friend’s 20th.

Then day 3 was waking up at the crack of dawn to be volunteer coordinator at a very successful and fun walk. It was an absolute joy to be so much more involved in the walk and I’ll probably make a better post about it later...:)

Lastly, the weekend concluded with celebratory dinner with the fam at one of my favorite restaurants that opened a new location two blocks away. THE BEST.

Can I be completely truthful with you Tumblr?  I’ve not been happy with myself lately.  I’ve got this serious passion in me to do some awesome stuff, but I tend to let myself burn out as I try to keep up the pace with my peers and society.  And it sucks.  Because I know -- my closest fam and friends know -- that I am capable of so much more.  And they will tell me, and I will scream and refute and make them feel bad/annoyed for ever trying to help me in the first place, when really it is me that I’m screaming at. And that sucks even more.

So in the whirlwind day that I’ve had of great moments and learning moments (and a beautiful 12 hour sleep), I’ve decided on three things for this summer and maybe life if I still believe them in 100 days.

1. Say no to opportunities that are awesome, would look good on a resume, but don’t fit me and what I need personally and academically.

2. Stop being scared of rejection and being content with what’s happened so far, because there’s so much potential in life for more cool things to happen.

3. Start finding the potentially perfect projects and opportunities for myself.  There are so many opportunities out there. And it’s overwhelming. But it all just means that I can find and potentially craft the perfect opportunities for myself.  Like Fulbright and Peace Core where I can travel and serve communities for months at a time.

I’m pretty psyched about it and the things I’ve started to work on.  You’ll probably hear more in the future. :)

- Slouie

P.S.: my friend rightly told me that the best music to get work done to (and get f*ckin hyped to) are live EDM sets. And he’s not wrong.  So here’s what I’ve been listening to as I start tackling my huge to-do list. 

What up Tumblr?  Welcome to my blog that for this summer will be all about my adventures, things I’ve been working on, and the plethora of things that fill my mind.  I’ve decided to make this summer all about taking care of me and #100daysofadventure.  It’s been a rough, wild ride the last year and a half and this feels like the next right move.  Sometimes, we get super caught up in trying to be something more and quickly moving on past our troubles in order to achieve some goal society pressures us to reach for.  But if we’re being true to ourselves, we have to take care of ourselves if we really are to make a true different in this world. This is my step in bettering myself to hopefully one day better the world.

So if you’ll join me on this ride, you are wonderful and I thank you in advance! If you decide to take the #100daysofadventure challenge with me, let me know and I’d love to follow you on that journey!

Here’s to a fantastic, memorable summer. Cheers!

Slouie.

Sometimes the only way to find yourself is to lose yourself in a new place.