College, Adventures, and More

This time last year I was moved into my sparkling, new IUP dorm, four hours away from home. It was a college student’s dream, but I couldn’t relate. I had never felt more isolated before then. I couldn’t seem to connect with any of my peers, I didn’t feel like leaving my room, and my eating habits were poor at best. This spiral I found myself in infuriated me, I was supposed to be happy. My mom told me to wait it out, that things would get better, so I waited, but things didn’t. That was probably my own fault, after attempting and failing to adjust myself, I stopped trying. All I did was go to class, do my homework, and sleep, I gave up on trying to make friends. 

Now I’m at Bloomsburg, commuting from home with plans to move closer to campus next semester. I am happy and enjoying not only my classes, but also my campus. I joined the marching band and have made some of the most amazing friends ever, though I might be a little biased. I come home each night tired, but happy, that’s how it should be. I can’t believe I let myself thinking that my unhappiness last year was okay, that it was just how things were going to be. I’m so lucky that I got a second chance to go back to school and try it again, a lot of people don’t even get a first. It’s been a ride to get where the place where I am now and I couldn’t be happier.

Last week was my first week of college and to say the least, it sucked. The campus was confusing enough, but even after finding the right building, finding the right classroom was even more frustrating. Syllabus week is a myth, at least in the future educators community, and due dates were thrown at me like darts. I’d walk into class confused and walk out even more flustered. Wearing cute clothes was an immediate mistake, despite it being the norm in high school, due to the wind lifting up my dress and terrible blisters I developed from my shoes. Finding the dining hall from different parts of campus took half the time I set aside to eat, so I spent each day hungry and run down. As a commuter, I was parked so far, the best way to campus was an unreliable shuttle that made me late to my first math class and caused some unnecessary headaches. By Friday I felt like I was trying to breathe underwater while trucking up to upper campus for marching band rehearsal. All I could think is what am I doing wrong, why does is this so hard? Luckily for me I had some friendly upperclassmen relationships that shed some light on the reality of college and that the terribleness I was feeling was completely normal.

That last band rehearsal I approached these upperclassmen, tears in my eyes. They greeted me with smiled as asked how my first week went. I wanted to mile back, but I felt beaten down and stupid, no one else seemed as pathetic as me. So against my greater judgment I told them what happened and they laughed. 

“That sounds like my first week.” said a sophmore

A senior jumped in, “Aww, honey don’t even get me started on how much I can relate.”

“You won’t believe the crap that happened to me.” chimed in a junior, “I can safely say, that we’ve all been there.”

It was odd hearing this from them, they were all very well adjusted college students. Some were in honors programs, others active in greek life, a few even on the verge of graduating, none were a lost cause. I couldn’t imagine them not having the self confidence they radiated to me.

I couldn’t help, but laugh at it all. Looking back on my first week,I remembered more of what could only be described as a sitcom than real life. The older kids agreed with me too, the first week sucks and it’s supposed to.

What kind of experience would it be if we all walked into new things perfectly well adjusted? It would be a very boring journey at best, because transiting into college life is a process that thousands of students do every year. It is exciting, scary, thrilling, and everything in between, because it is supposed to be. No one ever said it was easy, but many say that it is possible. So even though, my first week of college kinda sucked, that’s okay with me.