Sarah McConnell

I don’t but I’m here. I’ll leave it up to you if you want to meet me or not. I’ll head out after fifteen minutes if I don’t see you. 

Where?

There are moments which come up in life where it’s easier to think of the alternatives and how things could have played out for the better but look at Grace and how beautiful she is. You have a perfect little girl who you may not have had if you didn’t come to this town. 

Are you able to step away for ten minutes? I want to see you. Not for long. Only long enough to hold you and reassure you you’re not awful. 

You don’t have to do that, Landon. But you’re kind to want to do it.

I can’t say what you should or shouldn’t tell me but I won’t stop you or think any different about your thoughts. I will encourage for you to not feel selfish about your feelings. They are your own and they are genuine. It isn’t as if you set out to say or do anything to hurt people. 

Are you up front with Eli about how you feel?

He knows I’m in this trying to give it a shot for Grace’s sake and that i do care about him. He doesn’t know that I still have feelings for you. He’s . . . he’s jealous of you. Which I tell him upsets me because I’m with him. But maybe it just upsets me because he has a right to be jealous and suspicious of me.

I’m so sorry. I’m so awful. I love my Grace and care so much about you, but it would probably be better if I never came to Havenoaks. It really would have.

Grace is very fortunate to have a mother who will set aside what her heart wants to guarantee a good upbringing. Do you feel this is something you can do for the long run? Meaning if Eli brings up marriage or even proposes is that a step you’ll take?

It’s too early to tell something like that. Grace came at a time in my life where my heart was confused, where I cared about you both very much. But now because Grace’s father is Elijah, I need to see if my feelings will develop into something more. If they don’t, no I wouldn’t marry him. That wouldn’t be fair to him or me or even Grace.

I shouldn’t be telling you all of this. It’s selfish and I’m sorry.

Always. I never been one for third wheeling though I guess that’s what we had going on for so long it feels close to second nature. The only reason I catch myself now is because I know you and Eli are trying to make it work and…that’s important for the both of you.

It’s . . . it’s important for Grace. I care about Elijah deeply and I’ll always be connected to him now. If there’s a chance it can work with us and I can give her a happy home that has both her mom and dad in it, then I need to do that, no matter if . . . if my heart is slightly leaning towards another way.

I know you don’t care less, Sarah. I didn’t intend for what I said to come across as that. It’s nice to know you see me as family because you’re mine, too. Just don’t want to be that guy you can’t get out of your hair because he won’t stop drinking milk from the carton or interrupting yours and Eli’s privacy. I know he isn’t a fan of mine so that’s another reason I give space. 

I like you in my hair. If there’s ever a time I need it to just be the three of us, I don’t have a problem telling you that because I know you’ll understand.

The person I turned to doesn’t have the energy and you’ve got Eli and Grace. I don’t want to take too much time away from them.

Landon, just because I care about my daughter and her father doesn’t mean I care about you less suddenly. You’re family to me. I want to be there for you the way you’ve always been there for me.

It’s a good thing people have me around during these winter months because it’s damn bleak without that warmth. Too bad I can’t turn it onto myself. People see you talk to yourself in the mirror and they’ll think you’ve got some issues.

That broke my heart, that you don’t feel like you have someone that can do for your what you do for so many others.

Good thing because I plan to cook enough to feed a small army!

The softball shirts are officially ordered and my staff couldn’t be happier. If I’d known this was what they wanted I would have put a team together long before. 

Huh. Got to thinking just now about that. Close to 2 years ago was when I contemplated selling this place and now we’re in a spot I didn’t anticipate. Life’s funny like that.

Well that is all due to your hard work and the way you draw people in with your warmth and light :)