Ocumentr

Wednesday, June 8, 2022

In real life, I’ve only said I was gifted twice.

The first time was when I was about 11, and was explaining to my best friend why I was going to a different school.

The second was over three (edit: seven) years ago. In 12th grade, we were eating in a restaurant with nearly all of my teachers and classmates, just before the christmas vacations. My history teacher had been more or less finding a way to say “Thomas, I think you may be gifted” without saying it, because she wanted me to be the one saying that out loud. The word I decided on using, doué, is a literal match for the English gifted, which is only really used here by psychologist Arielle Adda, and seemed mild enough to me for the purpose. This was in the presence of most of the other students, and teachers (although, she was talking to me specifically).

Except, as I’ve told before, I was in what was more or less a gifted school. I wasn’t special in any way, and I was surprised at why she was singling me out, first and foremost. Besides, because the school made skipping grades so easy for anyone not born in 2001, the age average was low. I was the normal age expected from 12th grade students, but many of my friends weren’t. Some of us were two or three years ahead for Christ’s sake! And yet she confirmed when I asked her that she had no idea. She thought I was the first gifted kid she encountered, in 6 months in a more-or-less explicit gifted school.

This is the only time I’ve been invited to say the quiet part out loud myself, but this is not the only time people started telling me I was gifted after talking with me. This happened regularly from my childhood until last year (I don’t recall it happening during the past year, although I’ve talked to fewer people). Sometimes, after a few minutes of talking. To be honest, it mostly freaks me out.

•Giftedness is not just being smart, it's a neurodivergency that affects the speed of braink links

•Being gifted doesn't mean you're a genius, it means you have an easier time learning and seeing alternative paths

•Most (neurologist approved) IQ tests are not to see how able you are in math or (native language), they're about how you solve problems (social and logical)

•Gifted people experience sensory problems

•Gifted people experience social problems

•Gifted people may experience emotional imbalance (or too rational, or too emotional, can be a mixture of both sometimes)

•People can be gifted in non academic areas (visual arts, sports, music, feelings)

•Gifted people also struggle academically (much like ADHD, giftedness may lead some to a lack of focus on topics they don't find interesting, making it almost impossible to pay attention at all)

•Gifted people need positive stimuli in order to function, or else they won't be able to enjoy and make the fullest out of their abilities and special interest

•Gifted people need as much help in school as other neurodivergent kids, but not necessarily in the same way

•You can't be a "former gifted kid", it'd be like saying you're a "former autistic kid", you're born with it and you'll die with it

• Being gifted =/= being smart, being gifted==being creative and having an easier time then most with specific topics

• Not all gifted kids are nerds

•BEING GIFTED IS NOT BEING A GENIUS

•Gifted people NEED help with certain things, but do not get them due to "being more able than others"

•Gifted people ARE shamed and mocked for being gifted, being called things like "know-it-all" and "nerd", getting mocked by getting overly excited about a few topics or being bullied for being socially awkward

•Gifted people are very likely to hide their giftedness in order to be socially accepted, and that is alarmingly common with girls (who get called bossy or argumentative for talking about things they like or taking the leader position on situations)

•(Most) Gifted people have a hard time with senseless hierarchies and have a strong sense of justice.

Your post on IQ tests caught my attention, and I completely agree with that.

Sorry, I hope you don't mind my rant. I apologize in advance if I come across as rude or arrogant.

I took an official MENSA IQ test when I was quite young, maybe before starting or in early adolescence, and I scored somewhere around 135. I was offered to join MENSA, but I declined. Looking at my score, my family assumed that I'd do exceptionally well in academics. However, I rarely score well in exams; it's only been a few times that I might have got the top rank in class.

So, in short, I just wanted to rant that scoring a bit high doesn't mean you will do good in academics. Like I do agree IQ can decrease and increase with time, so I took an official MENSA Practice test and ended up scoring 140, but along with that, my academic grades are degrading too.

I guess people need to understand that high IQ doesn't always result in high academic scores.

Sorry for the long rant.

Have a nice day!! 💗💗

Example:

I have a boyfriend and our love languages are very different but he know I love him and I know he loves me. Still, even though he shows it to me through gifts and acts of service, he has never said it out right. The only thing he has said regarding the phrase ‘I love you’ was “me too”.

We are Mexican so sometimes I dial it down to te quiero but the last time he said that one was in June.

I know he loves me, I’m sure he must for all the gifts he has given me and the ring I have on my hand at all time and the ring he has on his hand at all times along with our polar bear bracelets but I have a worm brain. I have a worm brain and even with the rings and the bracelets and him having a picture in his wallet, a picture in his visor, one on the back of his phone and me as his lock screen, the fact that i haven’t heard him say it, SAY it to me just messed w my head

And I’m here rambling bc I don’t want to bring it up to him. Last time I did, back in the summer, we got into an argument and couldn’t see eye to eye. He said he felt I was forcing him and I said I felt it wasn’t a problem to say it once in a blue moon if that’s how he truly feels about me. I’ve left it alone since but it still plagues my mind.