a laid-back person with a ton of anxiety

yea dude I drink a lot. Drink at parties all the time. yea you heard right, 9 capri suns. 9. in 45 minuets.

instead of saying “i want to kill myself” whenever something bad happens to me as a result of circumstances beyond my control i’ve started saying “i’m going to kill god” and it’s honestly done wonders for my self-esteem

you know what? 2019 mood

Y'all can keep at it with that “Romeo and Juliet fell in love in five days how immature” shiz but Macbeth went from no murder to yes murder in like one afternoon and I feel like one of those is a significantly bigger problem than the other

In his defense his wife triple dog dared him and called him a pussy

So I’ve been ruining my kids lives by saying “weird flex but ok” to everything and when I do it they scream no and tell me they’re running away and I made this lovely photo lemme get it

So I executed the first one in the kitchen then I dabbed and my son didn’t say anything he just set down his pomegranate and walked out the front door with no shoes on and now he’s walking down the street

Your son is named Egg.

Every part of this is hilarious

pacific rim really went OFF with drift compatibility. like, there was absolutely no reason the jaegers couldn’t be piloted by a single person; a bunch of teenagers managed it just fine solo in evangelion, but guillermo del toro was like “nah, we’re gonna reinvent the concept of soulmates with mecha and kaiju” and then went and did just that, the absolute madman,

@sansathevampireslayer someone posted pics of you

holy fucking shit

written nsfw is still allowed because its a proven fact that no one on this site can read