Only You - A short Astarion x Tav/Reader/You ficlet. 427 words.
Astarion deals with feeling unlovable due to his curse, PTSD, and "200 years of shit, pure shit." Possible spoilers.
You/Tav/Reader is gender neutral with no details given. Small warning for implied sexual abuse and just. General abuse. Nothing explicitly stated, but it's Astarion.
Spotify Playlist.
Who would want someone like you?
That was a question Astarion had asked himself into the mirrors that reflected everyone, everything but him, more than once. Though he could not see his expression, he knew it wasn't a pleasant one, based on the reactions countless others had given him.
While he had won his body (among countless others) back from Cazador, some part of him remained trapped yet.
Perhaps it was a part of him that had never grown up. The part that died in his brain with his family. Either way, he found himself looping back to the same question yet again.
Who would want someone like you?
Who would want a vampire?
And- Even those who did, they didn't truly want a vampire, he believed- And if they did, they wanted a master, not a spawn. Someone to turn them, give them the "gift" of unending life, eternal youth, the curse of unending hunger. They had mixed stories of incubi and succubi with vampires, with abused spawns like himself- No, they didn't want a traumatized vampire. They wanted this fantastical, idealized, sexualized, fictional figure.
One who could save you from the evils of the world at a cost, one who would bleed you within an inch of your life and promptly make love to you, one who would show no signs of the trauma of death, being forcibly brought back from it, from being used for over two-hundred years, one who wasn't him.
No one wanted someone like him. He who was skittish of any form of contact, he who shut down when he was touched or looked at wrong, he who held resentment for those who didn't help him when he needed it most, he who couldn't bring himself to show his true emotions, no, no one could, no one but-
But you.
You, who had broken through his walls on this night. As he, through sobs, rambled and ranted about how burned he was, how lonely he was, how should he find a partner, they would have to be separated by the sun and moon or change for him, how for him, the relationship would be for but a breath, and he would have to, one day, say goodbye.
You, who was so gentle with him, taking his hand into yours, leaning in so he had someone to cry upon, someone who was so kind, even when he felt he did not deserve it, even when he truly didn't deserve it.
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Here is a list of writing resources Iâve found useful, in no particular order:Â
Words, Descriptions, Writing Help
Power Thesaurus: The BEST resource for âtip of the tongueâ syndrome
OneLook Reverse Dictionary
Writerology: This site is trying to sell you stuff. But there are also a ton of great articles in their free blog
Descriptionary: Help describing emotions and other things
Grammarly: Donât take it too seriously and remember youâre the final arbiter of your own writing voice, but it can help you see things you wonât on your own
Hemingway: Similarly to Grammarly, will help with clarity and cadence, as long as you donât take its suggestions as marching orders. Available online or as a downloadable desktop app.
Worldbuilding
Vulgar: Conlanging tool. Â Free and paid versions, the free is still very useful, but I have the paid version and have definitely gotten my moneyâs worth from it (but I like conlanging). Â Learning curve is a little steep.
Inkarnate: Mapmaking tool. Again, free and paid versions are both solid.
A World-Building Checklist: VERY comprehensive
Fantasy Globe: Create a virtual globe of your fantasy world
Name Generators
Fantasy Name Generators: The gold standard
Donjon Generators: Generators for names (including from your own list of names), as well as a lot of other things, like maps, calendars, inns, towns, even whole worlds.
Fake Name Generator: Generates demographic info, fake addresses and phone numbers, height/weight, etc. along with names
Not Another Tavern Generator: Generates bars complete with bartenders and general atmosphere, primarily for fantasy settings
Miscellaneous:
Unsplash: Free images with blanket permissions for personal use. Great for covers/headers.
NASA Image and Video Library
Compare the Heights of Your Chars
Writing With Color: Words for Skin Tone: How to describe POC with sensitivity and artistry
Describing characters of color in writing: First of NK Jemisinâs excellent three-part series on this topic, with real examples from various works