=)

I only ever went to one HS football game and it was at my second HS and it was the homecoming game and it got mercy called after like the second quarter because our team was losing 0-140 or something

Had a dream my phone was ringing and it said I was being called by a contact named Hairy Mike and I woke up before I could answer and find out what business I could possibly have with such an individual

I am tired of not being fully oxygenated :’|

Only YOU can prevent wildfires and you’ve failed. What would Smokey think

Tbh as a 29 year old ace spec virgin I’m not 100% convinced emotionally that sex is a real thing people do, though obviously logically I know that they must. I am deeply suspicious

the sheep detectives literally made me cry actual tears on five different occasions

lol my boss told me calling off sick because of an issue with my period I’ve been having for a few months is a scheduling issue and that is why I should see a doctor. You know never mind that the health insurance I get sucks and also I don’t get paid enough to pay for doctors 😅

In seventh grade a Spanish teacher at our school who was also the girls soccer coach got fired for being inappropriate with the girls soccer team and then ten years later I was in college and I went to a bird watching club meeting to check it out. The president had the same name first and last of the Spanish teacher and looked just like him. Turns out it IS him and he just started a whole new life as a bird biologist.

thinking abt how at one point I had come to the conclusion that I must be straight and meant to date men bc when I have a “crush” on a man the feelings are very lukewarm and inconsequential and thus safe but my feelings towards girls are too overwhelming and intense and the stakes feel high. Flawless logic

the fact that I lack a girlfriend currently sucks more than usual. Bleeeh

Someone should love me alreaaady