Sam

I want it to be over! I have to sit back and watch my own brothers kill each other thanks to you two! Heaven, hell, I don’t care who wins, I just want it to be over.

bonus under cause i couldn’t decide which one

Sam: This is really it, huh? The end of the world. 

Dean: Yeah. 

Sam: Do you have any regrets, my brother Dean, who has nothing to do with any popular media that we know of?

Dean: …

Sam: Dean?

Dean: Yeah, there is. 

Dean: I’m just… struggling to find the words. 

Sam: Is it something I already know about?

Dean: …

Dean: Do you remember my Tumblr, my older brother Sam, who has nothing to do with any popular media that we know of? 

Sam: Uh. 

Dean: Well, do you?

Sam: That thing you used when you were a teenager? The blogging website? 

Dean: I had the blog until I was in my early twenties. 

Sam: I mean, okay. I guess I do remember it. What about it?

Dean: Well, it… [TEARS UP]

Sam: …Hey. [WRAPS HIS ARM AROUND DEAN] I got you, bro. 

Dean: I was mean to a lot of people on Tumblr. 

Sam: What?

Dean: It’s just like… everyone called me an abuser! I was bad, but I wasn’t that bad. My ex best friend made a callout post about me. Now I’m on high blood pressure medication because I can’t stop thinking about the guy. I’m constantly pissed off, but I know I deserved it. I wish I never joined that Discord server. 

Dean: Fuck, who am I kidding? I know it was that bad. I can’t lie to myself anymore. I was an abusive piece of shit.

Sam: Are we still talking about a blogging website?

Dean: Yes, Sam! Are you even listening to me? 

Sam: I just don’t understand.

Dean: [PULLS AWAY] You asked me if I had any regrets. I regret everything that happened when I was in the angelkin community. 

Sam: Dean, I can see the Four Horsemen of the Apocalypse in the distance. Everything is on fire. 

Dean: And?

Sam: I fell out of touch with Mom. I don’t even know what happened to her, and now I’ll never find out. 

Dean: Yeah, that sucks. 

Dean: Can I talk more about what I did on Tumblr? 

Sam: …Sure…

Dean: I was a big name in the angelkin community. Everyone loved my posts, I always got at least a hundred notes on each one. I had like, two thousand followers. I was on track to being famous. 

Sam: On… Tumblr. 

Dean: Yes, keep up for fuck’s sake. 

Sam: [SHIFTS AWKWARDLY]

Dean: But secretly, I was toxic and problematic. I had this Discord server where I acted really nice, but I gossiped about everyone there with my best friend. I thought the server owner was kinning for fun. I vagued them on my blog, but I was really, really vague. I mean like, I was careful. I didn’t want people to know who I was talking about, but my best friend obviously knew. 

Sam: Kinning for fun? 

Dean: It’s not my job to educate you.

Sam: I mean, the internet’s dead forever. I can’t just look it up on my phone. 

Dean: It works if you just use cell data, assuming your plan didn’t get canceled. Everything fell apart pretty fast, I don’t think people exactly had the time to shut down the whole operation. The end of the world doesn’t stop the satellites from rotating around the Earth. It’ll probably work for a little while longer.

Sam: [PULLS OUT PHONE AND GOOGLES “WTF IS ANGELKIN”] Oh. Huh. You’re right. 

Dean: Anyway. So, I had a falling out with my best friend, and then I got kicked from our Discord server because he showed the owner what I said about him. After that, he made a callout post about me with all the screenshots from our private conversations where I said really mean stuff about all my other friends. He conveniently left out his side in our conversations, of course. He said I was abusing him, but he was the one that abused me. 

Dean: With the friends we were gossiping about, though… I mean, that was abuse. It was awful.

Sam: [SCROLLING THROUGH PHONE, EYES GLAZING OVER] Uh-huh. 

Dean: Are you even listening? 

Sam: Yeah. 

Dean: What did I just say?

Sam: You, uh… identified as an angel, or whatever. 

Dean: [PUTS HEAD IN HANDS]

Sam: No, sorry, I was listening. You got accused of abusing your best friend when you didn’t, but you did abuse your other friends. 

Dean: Yes.

Sam: Okay. Quick question—what the fuck?

Dean: What?

Sam: How did you abuse this guy?

Dean: I didn’t abuse him. He just said I did, but he abused me. 

Sam: Where did you meet him?

Dean: On Tumblr. 

Sam: Did you ever meet him in person?

Dean: No, he lived in California. 

Sam: How did he abuse you?

Dean: He was mean to me and it made me feel bad. 

Sam: Okay, I get that, but like, did he hold any power over you?

Dean: …No…

Sam: Also, how is gossiping about your friends behind their backs abuse? 

Dean: You’re not listening to me. 

Sam: I am listening, it’s just that you’re saying a bunch of crazy shit. Hello? You were using this site as a teenager and the way you acted on it is the thing you’re thinking about right now?

Dean: I was in my twenties. I was an adult, I should’ve known better.

Sam: For what, using a blogging website?

Dean: For being mean to people on Tumblr. 

Sam: Okay. 

Sam: Dean, no offense, but this is ridiculous. The ground beneath our feet is shaking because there are giant demons turning New York City to rubble. When the sun goes down, it’ll be night for the rest of eternity, and you’re thinking about being kind of an asshole on a blogging website? You’re thinking about Discord beef?

Dean: It’s the reason I stopped leaving my apartment for a couple years. 

Sam: Dude. 

Dean: What?

Sam: That’s what that was about? I thought it was about what happened with Castiel, your ex-boyfriend who has nothing to do with any popular media that we know of. 

Dean: Oh. I mean, I broke up with him because he didn’t validate my identity. He thought it was roleplaying. 

Sam: You broke up with your boyfriend of two years, the guy you told me you wanted to marry, because he wouldn’t validate the angelkin thing.

Dean: Yes. 

Sam: Did you give him a chance to? 

Dean: What?

Sam: Did you explain it to him? Did you say it was really important to you?

Dean: Um. Well, I didn’t really tell him that was why I was breaking up with him. I blew up about something unrelated and just blocked him. 

Sam: Dean…

Dean: I’m sorry. 

Sam: I’m sorry too, bro, because that’s fucking pathetic. And I say that out of love. Why didn’t you just talk to me about it, or literally anyone? 

Dean: I was afraid you’d call the angelkin thing roleplay too. 

Sam: [RUBS TEMPLES]

Dean: Do you think it’s roleplay?

Sam: I don’t care what it is. You’re my brother, I love you, the sun is setting. Does what you did on a blogging website really matter anymore?

Dean: I should’ve known better. 

Sam: Okay, but you didn’t. Just let it go, dude. It’s the end of the world, I’m sure all those people have moved on too.

Dean: I haven’t moved on. That’s the whole point of bringing it up.

Sam: What?

Dean: No one ever forgave me. I don’t know how to move on if nobody forgives me. 

Sam: [WRAPS HIS ARM AROUND DEAN AGAIN] Look, dude. Everyone fucks up, everyone acts like an asshole sometimes—especially when they’re young. I was straight-up homophobic in high school. Remember the stupid bumper sticker I put on my car? The one Mom grounded me for? I was such a shithead. 

Dean: …You were kind of a shithead.

Sam: Yeah. We were both shitheads. And you don’t need the people you fucked up with to forgive you to move on. Life continues… until it doesn’t. Man, it sure is getting dark.

Dean: …

Sam: I’m sorry for being blunt about it, but I am glad you brought this up. I can’t imagine how miserable it’d be to be eaten alive by anglerfish monsters and have your last thoughts be about some stupid bullshit that happened on the internet ten years ago. 

Dean: Has it really been ten years?

Sam: Yeah. You’re a completely different person now. I bet they’re all different people, too… or, they’re already dead. [SIGH]

Dean: I guess you're right.

Sam: [CHECKS WATCH] Well, it looks like the Third Impact is gonna get us before the anglerfish or the demons do. Ready to become merged with all of humanity? 

Dean: Just about. Oh, and Sam?

Sam: Yeah?

Dean: Thanks, for everything. I love you.