Warwick

          Maybe he was going about this all wrong, but Kennedy knew that Charlie was uncomfortable with other people and wouldn’t like it being with a stranger. He was actually fearing that the other had been placed in the girl’s dorms. That’d just put Charlie in a bad mood. But they’d requested that they stay together and it annoyed him that he might have to deal with someone else all year. They hadn’t been here long and Charlie had been separated from Kennedy the second they got to the building. He sighed. He probably shouldn’t have asked that. It was sort of rude. He didn’t know Charlie’s roommate. Kennedy sighed. “That was rude, sorry. I’m just worried that Charlie was put in the girl’s dorms,” he sighed. Kennedy plopped down on the bed he supposed was going to be his for the rest of the year. He was nervous now, not having to spend the entire year close to his best friend. “No, it’s fine. I just… have never been away from him for a long period of time and he’s sensitive.” He looked at his roommate. “Let’s start over. Hi, I’m Kennedy Devin.” 

Sam wasn’t entirely sure how to take his new roommate. He had a sneaking suspicion that this roommate wasn’t going to be as easy and laid back as he was hoping. Which normally wouldn’t be a problem but then again he’d never been approached like that before. But Sam took everything in stride, deciding to let that little bit go. It wasn’t worth getting worked up over something like that. The two, whoever this Charlie person was, had clearly had their hearts set on this. It wasn’t his fault but still he did feel bad. “Well if it makes you feel better whoever Charlie is, they’re more than welcome to come stay whenever they’d like.” Not that Sam really cared, he planned on spending most his time to himself, or .... well he actually didn’t know what he was going to do just yet. Even though he had all this freedom it seemed to be lost on him at the moment. “I’m Sam Warwick and it appears we’re going to have quite the start to this term. What are you studying?”

          Charlie had been a staple in Kennedy’s side for a long time. The only person who had stuck through most everything with him. When Kennedy’s mom died, Charlie was the one by his side. When Kennedy’s mother turned on him, Charlie was there telling him it wasn’t his fault. He loved the other boy so much. Sometimes he thought they could be more than friends, but he didn’t want to ruin his friendship with the boy. They’d been through a lot together, including Charlie’s transition. Kennedy had been looking forward to rooming with his friend. Since they’d basically already designed their room. He heard his phone chirp in his pocket as he noticed the boy – not his friend – in the room. “You can’t be Charlie,” Kennedy replied, not hearing the sarcasm. “There’s been a mistake. I’m supposed to be rooming with my friend Charlie.” He didn’t mean to be rude. “Uh, Kennedy,” he said, taking Sam’s hand. “Are you sure you don’t want to switch with my friend Charlie?” he asked. 

There was just something about this guy. Sam wasn’t exactly sure what it was at first. Sooner or later he’d figure it out. At least he’d hope so, and hope it wasn’t ... well he wouldn’t think that just yet. Sam smiled at him for a moment and then quickly squinted his eyes at him. Was he really asking him that? Sam gave his hand one more squeeze before he went back to folding his clothes. “As much of a delight I’m sure Charlie is, I’ve pretty much completely unpacked.” Some clothes and his books, Sam wasn’t one for frivolous things and should he actually have to change rooms he supposed that was a good thing. “What about Charlie’s roommate? Maybe you can just swap us out.” Sam hung his head slightly, pushing past the slight unease he felt at that proposal. It wasn’t anything he wasn’t used to. Not very many people wanted him around. Aside from his grandfather but his failing health was probably going to take him before long and then that’d be it. “I don’t mean to be rude I’m just ... “ Sam stopped and turned back to him. “If you really rather have him I’ll go see if there’s a single room available. Guess it’d be better for all parties.”

@samuelwarwick

          Kennedy was ready for this year. He’d been looking forward to he and Charlie finally rooming together at school. Even though they lived right beside each other all year – outside of school and had been next door neighbors last year at school. But now they’d finally be together. He excitedly raced up to his room, hoping that the other boy was already there unpacking, so they could decide where to put all their posters and move the furniture around. He rounded the corner to his room and walked in. “Hello, Charlie!” he exclaimed, looking up to see… well not his best friend. “Uh, you’re not Charlie. Who are you?”

It was about the only peace and quiet he’d had all summer. Sam knew that being away at school was only a band-aid for everything else going on but for now he could relax. As far as he knew there wasn’t a soul that knew him here and he was almost hoping to keep it that way. Aside from the roommate he was already slated to have. Sam was in the middle of refolding his clothes properly to put away when the voice came barreling through the room and the man that gave it life. He looked over his shoulder, a bit confused but turned to face him nonetheless. “I mean I could be Charlie if that’s what you want.” He spoke a bit sarcasitically. Maybe now wasn’t the best time for that. “Sorry. I’m Sam. And I’m guessing not who you were expecting.” Sam laid his shirt on the bed and took a step towards the other, raising his hand out to shake. “Looks like you’re stuck with me instead. Promise I won’t be too loud snoring or period I guess.”

          Charlie had been up relatively late studying for his exams. Now that he was in university, he seemed to always be up late studying. On the weekends, it was easier because at least he was able to relax a little with his significant others. He’d managed to somehow – despite finishing school a year later than originally intended – get accepted to Oxford. He was sure his parents pulled a couple of strings behind the screen, but he wasn’t complaining. Charlie loved school and he wanted to be able to provide for Kennedy and Sam. 

          Things had been going well for him on the relationship front. But it had been hard recently with Kennedy. The other boy had barely left his room. It was giving him flashbacks to Kennedy’s own mother. He knew the boy needed to talk about what happened and of course he felt guilty since he’d read the signs wrong and hurt his boyfriend. Yet there was no movement from the other in regards to progress. It didn’t help that Charlie was barely around anymore due to school. He also shut himself in when he was home. The second Charlie got up, he went downstairs to make breakfast for himself and Kennedy since Sam was already outside the house. Rapping on the door, Charlie walked in and set the food down, taking the empty soup dish from the night before. 

          “Talk to me,” he pleaded, but was starting into a blank expression on the boy’s face. Charlie closed his eyes. “I’m here when you want to talk to me,” he whispered, probably not loud enough for the other to hear, but enough that it made him feel better. Charlie waited for a minute before exiting the room and closing the door behind him. He leaned against it and slid down to a sitting position until he heard Sam’s voice. 

          Instead of wallowing and feeling awful about what had happened, he stood up to go figure out what Sam was doing. He found the other boy was covered in dirt out in the garden and Charlie exited the house. “Why didn’t you tell me you were coming out to the garden?” he asked, having missed planting flowers. Charlie leaned in to give Sam a kiss. “Good morning, handsome. I love you.” He loved Saturday mornings. “I tried to talk to Kennedy this morning. He just stared at me like I wasn’t even there. At least he’s eating, but I’m worried. And I’ve got other things that i need to worry about, but I can’t not worry about him. I’m just afraid that during my exam, all I’m going to do is sit there and worry about Kennedy.” 

When Charlie stepped out from the house Sam smiled brightly. Though he had been wishing Kennedy would be the one to join him but Charlie was just as perfect to join. His arms wrapped around the blond and he kissed him sweetly back. “I didn’t want to wake you.” He spoke softly, listening intently as he spoke of their other partner. Sam knew it was going to be difficult getting Kennedy back. He couldn’t even imagine what sort of terror must be plaguing him and he didn’t pretend to. All he could do was be there whenever he was requested, the same went for Charlie’s beckon call as well.

“I know.” Sam whispered, rubbing his hands across Charlie’s shoulders gently. He wished he could give him an answer, any answer but he couldn’t make things happen when he knew it might hurt one or all of them. “Charlie look ..” Sam slowly pulled back to look at him, his hand lightly ruffling the back of his hair. “Kennedy isn’t ready to come to terms with what happened to him. I can’t say that I blame him but he needs us.” That wasn’t what Charlie wanted to hear and Sam knew that just about better than anyone else but he also promised to never lie to either of them. “He’s a part of us and right now we just need to mend. We need time.” 

That wasn’t going to help Charlie with school or writing and in some ways Sam tried to bare most of the burden, though Kennedy was hardly one. But he tried nonetheless. If anything it gave him more time to give to the both of them. Charlie had peace and quiet and not so much of the nonsense Kennedy would randomly spout off about and Kennedy ... well Kennedy had time to do whatever it was he was doing. He’d go sit with Kennedy a little while later. Perhaps he’d even let him bathe him, though he wasn’t going to put any weight behind that thought. It’d be nice to have some time with him like that. Just remind him that neither Charlie or he would ever hurt Kennedy like that.

“Listen why don’t we go and have something to eat and then we can work on whatever it is you’re doing in class.” Sam could help ... a little. Muggle studies was never his thing but with having Charlie and Kennedy around he’d come around to it. The blasted cell phone they insisted he carry was a stepping stone and he was getting better. But their studies? He had learned the last time that when something happened in the wizarding world that there was something completely different relayed to the muggles. To be on two sides of the fence, it was definitely not what he was used to. 

         Kennedy used to be predictable. When he was with Charlie he was predictable. But with Sam it was a different story. He did things that he didn’t think he’d be comfortable with, but he was starting to like being unpredictable. He wasn’t just the Ravenclaw boy that liked birds and books. Now he was someone’s boyfriend and someone’s soon to be husband. It wasn’t the future that he thought he’d have, but it was the future that he wanted and nothing else. Kennedy was happy. More happy than he’d ever been before in his life and he didn’t want to do or say anything that he thought would compromise that. All he wanted was to talk to Sam about flowers, but watching him made Kennedy not want to wait any more. He wanted to be married tomorrow. He loved Sam so much. Kennedy wanted a wedding so badly, but if it was stressing out Sam, then it wasn’t worth it. The wedding didn’t have to be perfect.

         “Yeah?” He replied, wrapping his arm around Sam. He loved how Sam’s touch made him feel. Like he was comfortable. Sam made him feel comfortable. Charlie was perfect and Sam was perfect and he just wanted to spend the rest of his life with them. Although Charlie made it clear that he didn’t want to get married right now, otherwise, the wedding would include him. He wanted to be with Sam now. More than anything else. He loved Sam. The wedding was going to happen, but he was hoping that it would happen after they eloped. Kennedy just wondered if he would be able to convince Sam.

         Eloping wasn’t the plan they’d decided on in December. But a lot of things that happened since then hadn’t gone according to plan. He wanted nothing more than for the boy in his arms to just be happy. He didn’t need a wedding. Kennedy had never needed a wedding. He just needed Sam. He had always just needed Sam. Kennedy just cared about having the boys of his dreams. He wanted to elope, even if everyone else said that was a bad idea. Kennedy didn’t need anything more than just the few people that he loved being there when he got married. He just wanted Sam, Patrick, Charlie, his mum, and Charlie’s family there. Those were the people that he loved more than anything else. Just like the boy in his arms.

         “Yeah, I’m serious. I… well – all I need is you. I don’t need this. I’ve never needed this. I’ve always just wanted to be married to you. I’ve never wanted the big fancy wedding. I love you so much.” He was stressed about the wedding in general. He had no idea how much Sam was stressing since he was doing more work than anyone else. He looked at Sam. “I love you,” he replied, pulling away from the kiss. “I don’t know why we didn’t just get married the second I got back.” Kennedy knew why, but he hoped that Sam wouldn’t bring it up. “I’m not saying that we don’t have a big fancy wedding. We have to show off Charlie, but for now, I just want to be married to you now. I love you so much.” 

          Also, I found a house.” 

Since he’d met Kennedy, Sam had his entire world turned upside down. And though he’d lost a lot; what he gained was substantially more valuable to him. He had two people that loved him without question or obligation. Perhaps he ought to not get ahead of himself but all of this felt so right he couldn’t help but to let himself drift in whatever sea this was. His being felt lighter and Kennedy and Charlie were his anchors now. Oddly enough he was okay with not having total control of the outcome of their situation. 

Everything he was saying was hitting exactly the way Sam felt right on the head. After the debacle with Charlie, Sam was afraid to lose Kennedy. He was more afraid to lose them both now. But he knew Charlie wasn’t going anywhere, nor was Kennedy, the notions just never left. Had he been left to his own devices he was certain he’d have driven them both away. But that wasn’t the case and Sam had the feeling, more so now than ever, that neither of them would let that happen. Looking at Kennedy like this reminded him of that.

“I’d just feel ....” Sam stopped himself for a moment. Why was he concerned with everyone else? This wasn’t for them, the actual marriage part. That was just between him and Kennedy. When Charlie was ready, they’d all share that too. But for now it was just for Sam and Kennedy. He smiled brightly at his fiance and pressed light kisses to each of his cheeks. Sam rested his forehead against Kennedy’s and just allowed himself to absorb all that they were for the passing moments.

“Then marry me.” He spoke breathlessly after another moment. It was crazy and had he actually stopped to think then he’d have probably reconsidered but he was in love with this man before him. Sam wasn’t going to let anything come between them. Not even all these preparations were enough to make him hesitate. 

charliexlogan:

          Charlie was excited for Sam to meet his family mostly because he knew they were going to love him. They all knew that Kennedy had met him at school, but they didn’t know any other details. Hopefully that conversation wouldn’t come up because he wasn’t really sure what Sam would say to it. Plus school was a touchy subject for Charlie. Being kicked out hadn’t been his plan. He’d been planning to go to university in London for writing. Now he was working on his book without the proper training and he knew it was shit. That wasn’t on his mind much because he wanted to be there for Sam and Kennedy while they planned their wedding. That was a much more fun topic to talk about. Especially when he could help calm the two of them down from the stress of planning. He was doing everything he could to be supportive for the two of them. 

          He rushed upstairs to put his suit on, hoping that Kitty was going to behave. He should have been more worried about Vincent, but Vincent would arrive just before dinner since he was at school until late. Charlie was worried that Sam wouldn’t like his family. They could be a bit intense. His mother was a genius and his father was quick witted. Kitty was exactly like their dad and Vincent was unpredictable. That’s what worried him more than anything. He closed his door and got dressed

     Kitty knew that Sam was going to be here soon. She was looking forward to this. Charlie had said to behave, but she’d rolled her eyes. Her brother couldn’t control her, even if he wanted to. No, this was going to be fun. She wasn’t going to be mean… but she was going to be as intense as she wanted. She had always thought Charlie’s taste in boys was awful. Kennedy was a piece of crap in her opinion. Not that she’d ever said that to Charlie, and even if she had, she knew Charlie would never listen. At least Vincent seemed to agree that Charlie could do better than Kennedy. They’d been talking about that in preparation for meeting Sam. Both of them were planning something, which included either freaking Sam out or intimidating him. Either way, she was ready for tonight. Even if her mother had told her to behave. 

     She opened the door to reveal a handsome looking boy. Or maybe she’d been wrong to judge so quickly. “And you must be the better looking boyfriend,” she replied. “How did a nerd like my brother get a significant other like you? Do you play football because you look like you do. Or do they not have it at that fancy school you and mop head go to?” Kitty spoke a mile a minute. “Nevermind. I’m Kitty and Charlie can’t hear you, he’s upstairs getting ready.” She opened the door wide enough so that Sam could get inside. “Is that dessert? Can you bake? Wow, so at least one of you is good for something. Why isn’t mop head here? Is he working on wedding planning? I’m not supposed to scare you or be mean, so don’t tell Charlie.” 

He could already that the the Logan household was warm. The soft glow of the lights and just the overall feel he’d gotten the moment he stepped on the property warmed him. He wished that they could make their own home like that one day. With Charlie in the mix he was certain that was absolutely attainable. Slowly Sam was gaining some sort of composure. Even with Kitty going off a mile a minute. 

She was beautiful, much like Charlie. It was clear this family had hit the genetic lottery. Focus Sam. What was he suppose to answer first? Sam wasn’t sure exactly but he thought the easiest was best. “Kennedy won’t be joining us tonight. We thought it best if I met all of you on my own before all three of us were introduced together to you.” In hindsight that did sound slightly ludicrous. They were already all together but Sam really did need to connect with the Logans on his terms. “Yes I can bake. Actually I’m not bad so long as the recipe isn’t too elaborate.” 

It was clear Kitty was trying to find out as much as possible before the rest of family even got near him. Even if it was nerve wrecking, it was incredibly endearing. Sam just wanted to be sure that he left a good impression with them all before the night ended. 

“I actually have played football but not for school. My friends and I just muck about more or less. Actually we went cliff diving more than anything else.” Sam smiled warmly at her, adjusting the dish in his hand to the other. “I think you’d really like. I’ll have to take you some time if you’d like.”

He allowed a moment to pass before he began his own string of questions. “What about you? What are you interested in pursuing after you finish school? Any special person you’re going to subject to this as well?” Thankfully he’d at least taken Muggle Studies and Charlie and Kennedy were finally mugglizing him to the point he may be able to pull this off. “And don’t worry, I won’t tell Charlie.” Sam winked and chuckled softly. 

          Kennedy hadn’t been sure that the wedding was going to happen after what he’d done with Charlie, but somehow Sam was still willing to marry him. He was thankful. Kennedy wasn’t completely sure he could live without Sam and he’d have done anything to keep Sam happy, including never talking to Charlie again, even if that hurt him in the process. But luckily it seemed that things were going to work out. He’d been so happy with Charlie and Sam. Dating Charlie was everything he wanted and more. Plus he loved Sam so much. For once, Kennedy was completely happy with his life. Everything seemed to be going perfectly and he was grateful. He hoped that they would only continue to grow in their relationship because Sam and Charlie were the only thing he’d ever truly loved. 

          There was still so much to do before the wedding. Most of Kennedy’s day was taken up with small preparations. The day was drawing nearer and nearer. Kennedy was stressing. Luckily being around the people he loved helped him not feel anxiety about the wedding. He felt bad for Charlie because it was just he and Sam that were getting married, but Charlie made sure that he and Sam knew that he wasn’t ready for marriage yet. He was perfectly happy with being with the two of them when they were married because he trusted that they were still going to feel the same about him when they were married. Which was true. Kennedy would make sure that they would still include Charlie in everything. He was sure that Sam felt the same way as well. After all, they had feelings for each other and those wouldn’t disappear just because Kennedy was married. 

          He was trying to find Sam to ask a few questions regarding flowers, but he hadn’t managed to see the boy anywhere. His house was far too large. After an hour, Kennedy managed to find Sam. He watched his future husband-to-be focusing on his own wedding preparations and it was adorable. He was holding different swatches and trying to decide which one he liked best. Kennedy watched for a moment before walking closer. Sam still didn’t notice him, but that was okay because Sam was adorable. He felt his heart beat quickening; he was sure Sam could hear how loud his heart was beating. Then Sam started to speak. Kennedy walked up closer so he could see what Sam was working on. 

          “They’re both pretty, but the one on the right… It’s Ravenclaw blue,” he replied, sitting down beside Sam. Kennedy leaned over and gave Sam a kiss on the cheek. He vaguely wondered why they were spending so much on this wedding, until he realised that he was the reason they were. He could get married to Sam tomorrow and be completely happy. The ceremony could just be the two of them, Charlie, his mum, Patrick, and the Logans and Kennedy would be happy. There wasn’t need for some big celebration. He was already happy with his life. He was happy with Sam and Charlie. “I love you,” he whispered, just needing to be beside his love. “Let’s just get married tomorrow. We can go down to the courthouse and marry. Then we can have a formal ceremony when we finish preparations. Marry me tomorrow. I can’t wait any longer.” 

Kennedy was like a storm. He had been since they met and he was certain it’d be that way until they were old and wrinkled. All these plans, the day coming closer and closer and he felt like it was all finally coming together. Perhaps he’d finally let himself be swept up in the storm that was his new life. He only had Kennedy to thank. Though it was rocky getting to this point, he couldn’t have been more happy. 

“Maybe that’s why I liked it so much.” He spoke softly, smiling at the swatch. It reminded him of the first time he’d ever met Kennedy. In that tree and in his school robes. That beautiful Ravenclaw blue. That’d be the one and that was one more thing off his list. And something was telling him that it was time to put aside the work for now. 

The kiss to his cheek made him blush something fierce and Sam turned his complete attention to Kennedy. He had that look on his face, that anxious look that Sam had come to know usually meant they were about to have a conversation about something he wasn’t sure about. It actually made him smile that he knew that already. And then it made him wonder if he had any ticks that the other two knew about. But that thought was short lived as the words came pouring from Kennedy’s mouth.

Elope? Surely he wasn’t serious; or ... or maybe ... he was. Sam sat up a bit straighter if only to give him a moment to mull this over. Surely it couldn’t be that easy. He’d never known of a couple actually getting to do that without all of these plans to see through. Was this a muggle thing? It wasn’t as if Sam had any room to speak, he was going to marry a half blood and was already in a relationship with a muggle. It wasn’t something he’d considered at all but ever since he met Kennedy, the choices he’d made weren’t the ones he would have if he cared what others thought of him. That’s the whole reason they were sitting where the were at that moment. 

          Charlie’s parents had been insisting that Sam come to dinner for the past three weeks. Ever since they’d learned about Kennedy’s soon to be husband, they wanted to meet the boy. Charlie had told them that he had met and befriended Sam, but he had barely stopped talking about Sam for the past month. His parents hadn’t been surprised to hear that he had begun to date Sam and Kennedy. They’d been extremely happy for him, after all, they both agreed that Charlie needed to have some ounce of happiness in his life. Not that Charlie had been unhappy, but being kicked out of school and without Kennedy around, his parents had worried about him. Luckily, it seemed that happiness was finally on Charlie’s side. He knew he could only keep his parents at bay for a few weeks before they would annoy him about it.

          Somehow, Charlie reluctantly managed to get Sam to agree to dinner. He could tell his boyfriend was nervous about it, but he wasn’t sure how to help the situation either. Charlie knew that his parents were going to love Sam. How could they not? Besides Kennedy, Sam was the best thing that had happened to Charlie. It was a beautiful Friday, though he’d spent most of the day at home getting the house ready for Sam’s arrival. His mother had been cooking for a while. Both his parents had taken the day off to get ready. Even Kitty was there helping get ready. She had been helping Charlie clean and was now getting ready. He probably needed to get ready too. It wouldn’t take long, he had laid out his suit earlier. The doorbell rang. 

          “Shit! Sam’s here. Kitty can you get the door and entertain Sam while I get dressed? Please be nice.” 

          “Surrrre,” she replied, eyeing the door. 

          “Be nice,” Charlie said as he bolted off to get ready. 

Nervous wasn’t even the word to describe what Sam was feeling then. Maybe it was because he’d spent the entire day away from Charlie. That couldn’t be it, he’d still had Kennedy and they’d had a wonderful time before he went to get ready. Of course he knew Kennedy would tell him to not be nervous. But Kennedy had known these people his entire life and Sam hadn’t actually had to introduce himself to anyone before. That wasn’t entirely his fault, his upbringing afforded him that. At least that was how his parents had always been about things. But this wasn’t Warwick Manor and these people weren’t just connections. No ... for the first time since Sam had met Patrick he was actually worried. These people mattered more than just for something like that. Even his friends were out of convince but he still treasured them. But this was different, Charlie was different.

With a quick few kisses to his fiance, Sam was off to meet their boyfriend’s parents. He probably should have drug Kennedy along but the other insisted that he go alone. At least he wouldn’t be empty handed, he’d just hoped they’d like the orange cranberry bread. It was the only thing he really knew how to make well thanks to his house elves. Once he was out on the lawn a soft pop echoed the grounds and he’d disappeared into thin air. At least he could still enjoy some of what he was afforded from his family.

Once he’d navigated his way safely and quietly towards the house. His hands nervously made sure his shirt was wrinkle free and his hair in place. Sam swore his palms were even sweating. Even being a wizard didn’t negate those feelings for him. Actually if he were being honest, he didn’t mind them all too much. In all his fiddling he didn’t realized he’d actually stepped right at the front door. Though the knots in his stomach were churning tighter, he rang the door bell as per Kennedy’s suggestion and waited.

While he expected Charlie to be the one to open the door, a rather sweet girl was standing in his place. That had to be Kitty. Sam smiled brightly and allowed his body to relax slightly. “You must be the better looking sibling.” He spoke softly, not wanting Charlie to hear. Then again it’d be a bit amusing to see the look on his face.

Perhaps this night wasn’t going to be so bad.

    Kennedy wanted things to be okay between Sam and him even though he knew it was going to take more than a conversation. He’d done something that he knew was going to hurt Sam. Though Sam wasn’t supposed to find out about it right now, he had and Kennedy felt bad for even wanting to keep it from his fiancé in the first place. Honestly, it was better that Sam knew. Maybe it meant that things changed, but for now it meant that he and Charlie didn’t have to sneak around and keep secrets from Sam. Kennedy was going to have to be honest from now on, not that he thought that was going to be a problem. He loved Sam and wanted their relationship to last. It was going to take work now, but Kennedy was nothing if not determined for this to work out. Especially if it worked out with Charlie as well. There were a lot of unanswered questions, but they’d have to wait until Charlie could answer questions before the three of them could decide about what they wanted to do. Kennedy didn’t know if he wanted to have a discussion about the wedding, but he didn’t know if he wanted to have that right this second.

     He reached out and took Sam’s hand, squeezing it tightly before smiling at the other boy. Kennedy had known that he was far from perfect. Sam wasn’t perfect and neither was Charlie. The three of them had their own flaws. Kennedy’s might have been the most annoying out of all of them, but he was learning. Kennedy didn’t really know what Charlie’s flaws were, except that he was nervous about a lot of things. There were things that Kennedy couldn’t talk to Charlie about. Kennedy wasn’t looking forward to talking with Charlie, only because he wasn’t ready to face the other boy, but he did love Charlie and that had to count for something. It wasn’t that Kennedy was nervous, he just knew that Charlie was sensitive about certain things and sex had been one of those. The three of them loved each other though that had to mean something. “You don’t really have anything to be sorry for,” Kennedy pointed out, though part of himself didn’t feel that he himself really had much to be sorry for other than going behind Sam’s back. “I love you, Sam.”

    He highly doubted that Sam was going to be the jealous on in this situation. Sam had only known Kennedy for a brief period of time. Kennedy had known Charlie forever. If anything, Kennedy was going to be the one that got easily jealous of the other two of them together. Charlie was never meant to be anything other than his best friend. Loyal until the end. They had spent a lot of time together. Kennedy used to think of them as more than best friends – they had been soulmates, even if it was in an unromantic way at first. “I think I’ll probably get the most jealous. Even when I had nothing, I had Charlie. He was there before Delia died. He was there when Patrick came into the picture. Charlie was my first friend and someone I’ve loved for a very long time. You’re the first person that I’ve been with romantically. In some ways, I feel almost more possessive over you than I do over Charlie. Seeing you together, even though I think that’s going to make me incredibly happy, I’m sure I’ll get jealous easily.” Kennedy knew he was thinking ahead – after all, Charlie wasn’t part of this conversation and he had no idea if Charlie still wanted a relationship with the two of them. He just had to hope that was what the other boy wanted. In no way did he see it being a problem, but he did want to make sure that’s what they all wanted before they made a decision.

    “I have no dobt that the more you get to know Charlie, the more you’ll like him. He’s… probably the one person that’s always looked after my back. He’s always been… there for me. And I don’t know if you’ve read anything that he’s written, but he’s an amazing writer.” Kennedy was proud of his best friend. More than he probably should have been. Charlie was just so talented. “Alright. Well I just wanted to make sure that you’re alright and not just saying that to make me feel better.” He probably deserved to feel like crap though. Kennedy wasn’t going to say that out loud. At least both of them were okay. At least Charlie wasn’t dealing with a broken nose or a face injury because Sam got mad. At least Sam wasn’t hurt because Charlie decided to fight back. Sam was right. First impressions weren’t everything. For once, Kennedy felt like things were supposed to be this way. He was supposed to fall in love with Sam and Charlie. They were supposed to be in a relationship. It felt right. Even if it hadn’t meant to happen exactly like this – that was something Kennedy couldn’t really take back.

    “Alright,” Kennedy smiled nervously at Sam. He led the two of them towards the library. This was Kennedy’s favorite place in the house besides his room – and secret library. Only Charlie knew where that was. Kennedy hoped they could wake Charlie up because he really didn’t want the other boy to sleep on the couch in the library. He wanted the three of them to cuddle, even if that was a selfish thought. When Kennedy got to the library, he smiled at the boy sleeping on the couch. At some point, Delia must have wondered into the library because the small kitten was cuddled at Charlie’s head. Kennedy felt a wave of feeling rise in his chest. Charlie was so perfect. He didn’t look like a person, he looked ethereal. Kennedy leaned over and kissed Charlie’s forehead, feeling as if his chest was going to explode of happiness.

    “Charlie?” he shook the other boy gently. “Wake up, love.” Kennedy kept one hand wrapped around Sam’s hand and took Charlie’s other hand, squeezing it. He stirred.

    “Kennedy?” the sleepy boy responded and rolled over on the couch.

    “Yeah, and Sam’s here too.”

From here on out it was all new territory. The fact he was even entertaining such an outlandish idea was beyond who Samuel Warwick was. But as the two walked down the hall back to the blond boy at the heart of this new sense of their life ... he realized that he wasn’t just a Warwick. He’d be a Devin and maybe even ... well he wouldn’t get that far ahead of himself. The point was that he wasn’t here to please anyone else other than himself and the now boys that he cared for. He swore that hallway elongated itself just to appease his thoughts so he could be in a somewhat calm headspace by the time they got to where they were headed.

Thankfully seeing Charlie eased his mind more.

Sam watched closely as the two interacted. Delia stretched and scampered down along Charlie’s legs, shooting the three of them a displeased look before returning back to her slumber. The entire scenario was ridiculous but as he observed, any doubt he could have possibly had was dissipating as quickly as it had ventured into his head. Though he wouldn’t lie, seeing Kennedy intimate on that level with another wads hard to stomach. It was another adjustment they all would have to come to terms with.

The boy squeezed Kennedy’s had tightly, a slight blush spreading over his face when Kennedy spoke his name. His eyes found Charlie’s and he smiled softly. He knew the more calm he remained the smoother this would go for all of them, especially for Charlie. “I’m sorry your nap wasn’t longer.” He spoke softly. Sam had known poor Charlie was past exhausted and he’d honestly expected he and Kennedy’s conversation to have taken longer but it seemed that things weren’t going to be as ‘normal’ as he had anticipated in the short time he’d even allowed himself to like the idea. 

Sam slowly sunk down onto the floor next to the sofa. His hand lightly brushed Charlie’s hair back and he smiled softly to Kennedy. “I think there’s a few things the three of us need to discuss.” Not that he’d planned on doing it then and there. For now he just wanted to be in their presence. To allow himself to just be immersed in what would be his new normal. “But for tonight I think it’s best we all get ourselves settled, fed and relaxed.” 

     Charlie had never been the type to believe romance was only shared between two people. If you loved someone, you loved them. Two people didn’t always make a relationship, sometimes it was more. Not everyone thought like that, but Charlie did and he knew that thinking like that could have ended badly for him. He didn’t really know Sam all that well. He knew that Sam was kind and caring and would do everything for the people he loved, but Charlie didn’t know if he could love more than one person like Charlie could. He wasn’t entirely sure what he needed to do or say. Nothing he could do would make this better for him. It was a waiting game now. He wondered if things would turn out alright, or if he was going to have to leave. Either way, it was out of his hands now. He wasn’t asking Sam to compromise his ideals just to make himself happy. That wouldn’t be fair to any of them, including Kennedy – though Charlie was starting to believe Kennedy was more selfish than he originally thought. 

     The blond had never done anything to make Sam believe that he was telling the truth. Charlie was nice to him and made jokes and smiled and talked to him. He’d let Sam make the small moves. And maybe he didn’t scoot away when Sam sat close to him. And maybe he told jokes, he’d researched long and hard in hopes that Sam would laugh a little too long at. And maybe he’d stay a little longer than he should have at night. But he hadn’t done anything to make Sam really think this was true. Sam wasn’t someone Charlie ever wanted to lie to, however. He thought he was doing a good job with being honest. Charlie knew that he had hurt Sam and he deserved to be hurt back for what he did. He was just hoping that maybe Sam would spare him for now. He hoped that things would be okay between them, maybe not now, but eventually. That’s what would make him happy at least. 

     He’d cried twice in one day. That was more than he normally cried. Right now, he still felt on the verge of tears. He almost wanted to start crying again once he’d started talking, but managed to refrain. If he wanted to be strong, he was going to have to pretend that everything would be okay, even if it wasn’t. Sam could break his heart. Though he didn’t think Sam would try and break Kennedy’s heart because that wasn’t like the boy he’d come to know. That still didn’t mean he loved Charlie and the blond knew that. He just had to have hope that his words did something and he was right. Charlie was always right, but still that didn’t mean he could see into someone’s heart and that didn’t mean Sam wanted this or forgave him for what he did with Kennedy. 

     “You mean that?” he asked, squeezing Sam’s hands and feeling slightly better the more he listened to the other talk. He still felt guilty for what he had done, even if he was starting to try and believe it wasn’t his fault. “I guess you do mean it, you did kiss me. I think. I’m half convinced that wasn’t real.” Charlie thought he was talking nonsense now, so he just leaned back against the wall and closed his eyes. This was an absolute disaster. He should have just told Kennedy how he felt and left it at that. He shouldn’t have let Kennedy take the lead. He should have gone home when he’d walked in on the two of them. None of this would have happened. But then… this wouldn’t have happened. Though Charlie wasn’t exactly sure what this was anymore. So Sam wanted him to stay and didn’t want to lose him. That didn’t mean that he wanted a relationship – Kennedy had to be present for that conversation. “I don’t want to lose you either. I never planned on telling you about my feelings either. Or Kennedy for that matter. You two are good together, I saw how happy he was at Christmas… I mean despite him being angry with me. I love seeing him happy. I love seeing you happy. I’m so sorry.” He opened his eyes and looked at Sam, his heart beating out of his chest practically. “I know it’s not going to be easy. I know I need to earn your trust. I’ll do anything to stay.” Charlie bit down on his lip and sighed. 

     “It’s just occurred to me that I am exhausted,” he looked down at their hands. He didn’t want to leave this situation right now, but Charlie was extremely tired. This day had been interesting, if nothing else. “I think maybe I should get some sleep, but I don’t want to leave you and we need to talk to Kennedy, but that needs to wait. I just… I’m tired. Do you… I don’t know what you’d be comfortable with, but do you… want to stay with me until I fall asleep?”  

It would take some work on both ... on all of their parts to get this to work. But sitting there with Charlie, Sam didn’t feel so helpless. In fact despite the rest of it ... he felt hopeful. And aside from being with Kennedy and their quickly coming wedding, it was the first time he’d felt it in a while. He didn’t want to admit to it being a good idea only because he knew the quicker he got ahead of himself the more likely he was to ruin it. So for now he’d settle for the chaste kiss the two had shared until they’d discussed exactly what they all had wanted from this. Sam was beginning to know but there were still so many questions.

Sam knew that Charlie didn’t mean for this to happen the way it had. Honestly he wasn’t sure it was supposed to happen at all but there wasn’t anything he could do short of obtaining a time turner and he very much doubted that that was a possibility at all. He hadn’t realized just how much time had gone by ... or the lack there of. It felt like hours and then only like minutes. He’d have to blame that on the fact that he’d been emotionally drained within the span of a few moments and then excited. It was exhausting to feel so much at once. 

For the first time that day he was actually thankful for Charlie wanting to rest. His eyes were so heavy and burned so badly that perhaps laying down wouldn’t be such a horrid idea. Even resting with him felt like it was the right thing to do. Sam hadn’t forgotten what he’d done but this was Charlie and it was extremely hard to hold a grudge against him. That was part of Sam turning over a new leaf. He wanted different things for his new life he’d started building with Kennedy and now ... well at least he thought, and hoped, that Charlie would be there to build it with them. He was actually certain he would be judging by how he and Kennedy (and himself now) felt about one another.

“Of course I’ll stay with you.” Sam’s voice was low and hoarse. All the crying hadn’t helped him in that aspect but for now he couldn’t be bothered to ponder any further into it. Slowly he stood and moved towards the sofa just a few feet from them. He quickly fluffed up the cushions and motioned for a blanket to come towards him. He was thankful in that moment Darcy had berated him into becoming better at his nonverbals. 

Sam coaxed Charlie over and settled onto the sofa first. Once the other was laying down he contorted himself around to be able to cradle Charlie in his arms. It was odd to him and natural in the same stroke. He hadn’t ever considered being this close to the blond boy in his arms now. But as the moments ticked by and he watched the other relax, he himself came to terms with it. Aside from confronting Kennedy, he was more than okay with things like this. 

“You’re safe Charlie.” He whispered softly, leaning in to press a soft kiss to his temple. Sam gently drapped the blanket over the both of them and rubbed gently along Charlie’s back to lull him to sleep. He knew it wouldn’t take long and it gave him more than enough time to calculate exactly how he was going to handle the next phase of this madhouse of a situation. He couldn’t be mad ... well he could but his heart wouldn’t let him. He had to be honest about what he was feeling, the good and the bad, he just hoped that Kennedy could understand exactly why he felt the way he had. Maybe ... just maybe they could be okay. Only time would tell.

It didn’t take long for Charlie to slip into sleep and Sam watched him a few moments longer. He looked so peaceful, even more angelic than he did when he was awake if that were possible. And right then Sam knew he wanted to wake up and see his face and Kennedy’s right next to him and he could enjoy this exactly as he wanted to. With both of them. He’d made up his mind.

    This was a terrible feeling that Kennedy didn’t want to deal with right now. He had no self-control and acted on impulse all too often. Wasn’t that what his entire relationship was based off of? His stupid impulses that actually worked out in his favor? Sam had been an example of that. Sam wasn’t a mistake and neither was Charlie, but Kennedy was pretty sure that it was all over now. He had no idea what to do anymore. He loved both boys so much and now it seemed like Sam… well he wasn’t completely sure what was happening anymore. Usually, he was good at reading situations, but this one was more confusing than ever. He loved Sam so much and he really wanted the two of them to be with Charlie too. This situation was just far too much for him to handle and he was sure that he was going to end up hurt in all this. He believed he kind of deserved it though. Kennedy couldn’t look at Sam anymore. He just wanted this entire day to go away. It didn’t help when Sam started speaking to him.

    Kennedy didn’t want this to be over between the two of them. He wanted to be with Sam and Charlie and he wanted the three of them to live a happy life. He could see it working out. It was a big step, but honestly, he couldn’t imagine his life without the two of them in it. He wondered if Patrick would have anything to say about this. Probably not. He’d probably just give him a look that said that Kennedy was a complete fool. Kennedy loved Sam so much and he also loved Charlie so much. He could see the three of them together and he wanted a family with Sam and Charlie. He didn’t think he could be without either of them. He didn’t think that he deserved either of them. In fact, he was sure he didn’t deserve either of them, though he was going to try and be a better person. He wasn’t sure what Sam saw in him, but he was going to be the person that Sam had fallen in love with. Kennedy wasn’t really sure that he could ever be good enough, even though Sam said he was, but he was going to try.

    This was a room that Kennedy spent a lot of time in. He liked to think about situations where his mother hadn’t died when she had. He liked to think that there was a world where they were together. Kennedy had loved his mother so much. She was the perfect human. She had loved him so much. Kennedy knew that Beatrice loved him too even if she didn’t want to admit it. He knew that he just reminded her of everything that Delia had been. Things were getting better between them too. It was a situation like this that made Kennedy wondered if he really was anything like his mother. She wouldn’t have done anything like this. She completely loved her wife and was loyal to her. He bit down on his lip and shook his head. He loved the boy in front of him so much. He loved the boy sleeping in the other room just as much too. Kennedy was worried about Charlie now as well.

    He wasn’t expecting Sam to kiss him. Sam’s words were perfect. Just what he needed to hear. Maybe he was selfish and he needed both of them. Kennedy wiped the tears away from Sam’s face and his arms went around the other as if it was instinct. He loved the boy in his arms. “I’m sorry, Sam,” he muttered, running his hand through Sam’s hair. “I love you. I’m sorry.” He wanted to know where Charlie was and if he was okay. He didn’t want the boy to leave without the three of them having a conversation. “I don’t want to make excuses for myself. I shouldn’t have slept with Charlie even if I do have feelings for him. Charlie loves me. I guess he told you he has feelings for you too,” Kennedy smiled. “Well that’s… I mean he told me too. I didn’t think Charlie was going to tell you he loved you.” This time Kenendy didn’t give him the ring back when Sam put it back on his finger.

    “Are you sure?” he asked, looking at the ring. “I mean… I don’t want to mess up again, and I don’t plan on messing up again. But are you absolutely sure?” Kennedy sniffed and felt the tears slowing down. “I don’t want to do anything… if you don’t want to do this. I’ll be happy with you and just you, if that’s what you want. I don’t know how you feel about… Charlie. Do you want that?” Kennedy pulled away and looked Sam in the eyes. They were red and puffy and he was the reason for it. “Look me in the eye and tell me that you’re absolutely sure that you want this. Me and Charlie and everything that comes with that. Tell me that you really, really want that.” He needed to be sure that this was what Sam wanted before they went to the next step. And that was making sure that Charlie wanted this. Kennedy made his position quite clear with the man standing before him and he’d all but told Charlie that he’d have to ask Sam if it was okay. Charlie knew what Kennedy felt and what he wanted. Hopefully, this is what they all wanted.

    The two of them needed to go talk to Charlie. This was on Charlie now. If Sam agreed to this, then everything was on Charlie. Sam was more amazing than Kennedy deserved. He was pretty sure that he was getting exactly what he wanted, but at what cost. “I… are you okay? All things considered, are you alright?” Kennedy took a step back and looked at the painting of his mother. He placed a hand on Sam’s shoulder. “I’m… I just need to make sure you’re alright before… we go talk to Charlie.” Kennedy felt a few more tears slide down his face. “I… we—should go talk to Charlie. But… erm, only if you’re up to it. I don’t think he should be left alone tonight. He’ll… erm,” Kennedy shook his head. “He’ll have nightmares. And it won’t be good. I’m… I don’t… only if you’re comfortable. We should… go make sure he’s okay too.”

There were questions than there were answers and for the foreseeable future that was how it was going to remain. Oddly enough Sam was alright with that. For the first time in his life he was okay with uncertainty and if he were being honest the thrill of all of this was fueling it. It wasn’t a thought he’d ever entertained before but then again he also didn’t see himself not graduating from Hogwarts and engaged to someone of his own choosing. There were a lot of new things in this life he’d selected for himself and the more he dove into it ... the more he was beginning to feel like an actual person.

All he wanted was an apology. He knew Kennedy wasn’t as comfortable with them as Sam was but it meant the world to him. There wasn’t any taking back what happened, on either of their parts but there was the aftermath and how they’d deal with it. As long as he felt he could trust the both of them to be honest about this then everything could be okay. So far the trust aspect was a bit weakened but he also had faith that now that everything was in the open it could start to be built back up. Feeling Kennedy around him made him feel normal than he’d felt in hours. “I’m sorry too.” He spoke softly. It wasn’t just Kennedy that’d slipped up and while he wasn’t going to dive into the severity of each, an apology on both their parts was deserved for the other. “I don’t expect you to be perfect. I just want you to be who you are.” As of now he’d accepted every part there was of Kennedy and he knew there were years ahead filled with even more tid-bits and stories. For now he’d settle for this moment as assurance they’d get there.

“I will promise to try. I can’t promise it’ll always be as easy as this but I want to try.” Though the knot was still in his gut he didn’t feel badly about confessing that he too wanted to see if Charlie was in fact their missing piece. He hadn’t even paused to think if that were a possibility. Sam was incredibly happy with Kennedy and the time Charlie and  he had spent together was rather fantastic. Both were extremely handsome and kind to him in ways he couldn’t even fathom. “As long as we’re always all on the same page about this then I think it’ll be okay. And I promise to try to not be so jealous.” That in itself would be a feat but Sam also knew he could come to the both of them in a time of weakness like that. “I like Charlie. He’s very attractive and he’s very sweet. I haven’t really had a chance to spend time with him and talk about him or anything but what I do know I like.”

Sam smiled softly, bringing his hands up to clean Kennedy’s cheeks from any tears. “I guess it’s true that first impressions aren’t always correct.” He was hoping to get a small chuckle but he’d settle for no more tears on his love’s face. He nodded to his question. “I’m okay. Confused and still a bit stung but I’m okay and I will be.” Whether Kennedy realized it or not he was the reason why he felt so strong. Even in a weak point Sam clung to him, he took comfort in his safe place. Perhaps it’d be possible for Charlie to maybe be another. He wouldn’t get ahead of himself before the three had spoken on this but he had a good feeling. 

“Charlie’s asleep in the library.” Sam told him, stealing one last glance at the painting. He’d have to remember to come back and have a conversation with Delia and thank her for her son. “If you’re ready to we can go now. I don’t know if we can wake him though. He was pretty exhausted when I got him to lay down.” Sam brushed back Kennedy’s hair from his face and smiled warmly at him. “I just want you to know that I do love you.” He whispered, hugging him tightly. Merlin had he missed him. This was really the first time in months he’d gotten to hold him past this morning. Sam only wished that he could have given him a proper homecoming but that’d just have to always be a what if. 

     Kennedy hated the feeling in the pit of his stomach. He was conflicted on if he wanted to take it back or not. He had no idea what Sam wanted from him now and this was just getting way more confusing than it needed to be. Kennedy loved Sam. He loved Sam so much and he wanted to be with Sam for the rest of his life, but he also wanted Charlie. He had no idea what he was even asking anymore. Words were just coming out of his mouth at this point and he wasn’t sure that he was even making any sense anymore. This was the worst he’d ever felt. He wanted to go to Patrick and take back everything that happened. He wanted to cuddle up with the only father figure he’d ever known, and cry to the man about his mistakes. He had no idea if Sam was going to forgive him. Or what even was going to happen. All his feelings were out in the open now. Sam was probably going to leave him. Honestly, Kennedy wouldn’t be surprised if he did leave him. Kennedy was a horrible person that had done a horrible thing and he wasn’t even sure he wanted to take it back. Sleeping with his best friend had felt so right even if it was wrong. 

     The tension in the air could be cut with a knife. He just wanted to go back to this morning when they weren’t thinking about the consequences for their actions. Where they were about to have sex as if they were… well, teenagers. But they were teenagers. Charlie had told him once that they weren’t really adults at the age of seventeen, they weren’t really going to be adults until they were in their mid-twenties. Perhaps this was all some stupid teenage dream to be with Sam and get married at a young age. Even if his parents had gotten married when they were young, they were still in their early twenties when they’d gotten married. Maybe Sam and Kennedy and Charlie just needed, well time. Maybe this marriage was a bad idea and they shouldn’t get married until they were more responsible. Merlin, he wanted to get married to Sam so badly. But if he was just doing stupid things to hurt the person that he loved, then maybe… maybe this was a bad idea and he needed to be alone for a while. He didn’t like that thought, but Kennedy knew if he was given a moment alone with Charlie, he wasn’t sure he’d be able to stop himself from kissing the boy again. Charlie had been the person that Kennedy always thought he’d end up with – even if that thought wasn’t in the romantic sense until recently. Kennedy had been in love with him for so long. And he was also in love with Sam as well. 

     Tears were streaming down his face, as he spoke. He wasn’t sure what he was saying at this point. And how Sam would react to any of it. Sam deserved better. He wasn’t really sure what was going to come out of this conversation. He had no idea what Sam wanted. The two of them were just sitting there as if they were strangers to each other. And well, Kennedy thought they were. Never in his life, did he think that he’d be the sort to cheat on his partner. Never did he think he’d end up falling in love with more than one boy. Never had did he think he’d leave school because of a boy. He was impulsive and he guessed Sam had never really seen that side of him when it worked against him. Thus far, it had only been good for the two of them. Kennedy sighed, and stood up from his desk when Sam finished. Now more confused than ever. So Charlie had told Sam that he had feelings for him. And Sam had kissed him. Poor Charlie was… Kennedy couldn’t imagine how he was feeling right now, but he knew that he needed to be there for his friend. He wasn’t sure that he could even do that anymore. This was so fucked up. When had his life become a soap opera? All he wanted was a relationship without complications, but apparently he was not going to get that at all. Kennedy let the tears fall from his eyes and walked over to Sam.

     “This was a mistake. Sam, I love you, but we’re teenagers. I screwed up and I hurt you and I don’t deserve to be happy. Maybe we should…” Kennedy trailed off. He didn’t want to be the one to take the engagement ring off a second time. He just couldn’t see a way around this unless he did. “We don’t know each other like we need to. I’m going to hurt you again.” Kennedy wanted to say that he knew Sam wasn’t mad at him for being in love with Charlie, but he wasn’t sure that he knew that until Sam had said something. The former Ravenclaw hadn’t even known Sam for six months before their engagement happened. He didn’t even know Sam now. He knew some things, but everything… not even close. Kennedy was crying harder now. “I’m not worth it and I don’t want to fight about this. We’re teenagers. We don’t know what we want. I’m not going to make you happy if I keep screwing up like this. I love you Sam and I love Charlie too. Maybe it was never meant to be the two of us. Maybe it was always supposed to be you and Charlie.” Kennedy spun the ring on his finger. He was completely unsure of what was even happening anymore. He knew he wasn’t going to end up happy no matter what happened. Kennedy wanted to throw up. “I need to show you something.” He grabbed Sam’s hand and didn’t even wait for Sam to say yes or now. 

     Kennedy led Sam through the manor, to the west side. Most of the rooms were empty now, only cleaned every so often. But there was one room that Kennedy spent more time in than any other room besides his own and the library. He entered the room, knowing that no one else would be here. Kennedy had always thought the massive portrait was ridiculous, until the person it was of wasn’t in his life anymore, then it became his favorite painting in the whole world. “She wouldn’t be proud of me,” he sighed. “I haven’t finished school, I got engaged too early, then messed it up because I’m the most selfish person on the planet.” Kennedy sighed. He never liked to think about his depression because thinking positive was a much easier thing for him to do, but he just couldn’t think of a way to spin this in a positive manor. “That’s my mum. I come here when I don’t know what to do and I need advice from someone. I know she can’t talk. I know even if she was a witch, she wouldn’t have come back as a ghost, but sometimes I pretend that we have conversations and she’s really still alive and will walk through the door tomorrow.” He looked at the painting of the woman. Her dark wavy hair and brown eyes were the same as Kennedy’s. They had the same nose and the same facial structure. “She gives me strength. Especially when I know I need it and I think I need it now.” He took a deep breath. “Maybe we shouldn’t get married, Sam. Maybe we shouldn’t be in a relationship right now. I love you and I made a huge mistake and I don’t know how to fix it. I don’t know what you want me to do. I love you and I love Charlie, but I’m selfish and I don’t think. I make mistakes – a lot of them. I do things without thinking them through, which is just going to get everyone hurt. I don’t deserve this ring,” he held his hand up, “but I think Charlie does. You should be happy Sam.” He bit down on his lip and this time wasn’t afraid to pull the ring off. 

     “I’m sorry I’m not the person you thought I was.” 

The hurt and sadness was slowly starting to dissipate. It was still very much there but Sam was starting to get a handle on it better than he ever thought he would. Even though his chest was aching and his stomach was in knots it felt as though he were actually okay. It wasn’t the actions but the feelings that made him come to that realization. Perhaps in some weird way this could actually work. Was he getting ahead of himself? More than likely but maybe ... just maybe this didn’t have to be the end of something he knew was going to be the biggest and most fulfilling part of his life, their lives. 

But Kennedy’s tone suddenly changed and the bit of hopefulness Sam felt a moment ago began to disappear as quickly as it’d come. Did he really feel that way? He couldn’t have. They’d survived his friends at school, Kennedy’s less favorable place with a select family and even his own engagement to another person. Surely this wasn’t the nail in the coffin that left them in such shambles they couldn’t salvage this. Sam refused to believe that. He couldn’t imagine not having Kennedy in his life. Every dream he had about their future included him and he’d be damned if that wasn’t what was going to be. His grandfather would be disappointed if  he allowed his true happiness to slip through his fingers like Kennedy was suggesting.

Sam couldn’t even get a word in before they were off and traipsing through the Devin manor. In the time he’d spent there it was impossible to know what was in every room. And to some extent, Sam didn’t want to intrude on something that wasn’t any of his business. But as they came into the room he quickly knew exactly why they were there. The woman in the picture was his mother. She was beautiful and Sam knew instantly exactly which parts he’d taken after. A small smile tugged at his lips finally seeing this. Though the smile was quick to go when Kennedy began to explain why they were there. This wasn’t the end for them. Sam wasn’t having it.

He stepped forward and took Kennedy’s ring in his palm, looking intently at it. This was the second time he had it in his palm for a similar reason. It hurt but Sam wasn’t going to let Kennedy leave this time. “Kennedy ...” Sam spoke softly, moving the ring between his fingers. “You’re right. We are teenagers and we’re bound to make mistakes.” Sam stepped closer to Kennedy and cupped his cheek with his free hand. “When we started this I knew about Charlie. I knew there were feelings still very much there and at Christmas I was reminded that you can’t always control how your heart feels.” There were a few tears falling from his eyes but not like before. This almost felt as if it were supposed to happen. Standing there before his mother, Sam always wanted her to know that he’d love her son and care for him as well as she did and would have had she lived.

Sam took Kennedy’s hand and slid the ring back on again. “We aren’t perfect. There will be mistakes made on both ... on all our parts. But that doesn’t mean you don’t deserve this ring.” He squeezed his fingers tight and pulled him in closer. A small smile touched his lips as he looked at Kennedy. “I love you with all of my being. I want to be with you the rest of my life. Being with you means learning about you. Hell I bet if you’d ask Beatrice there’s still things about your mother she doesn’t know or doesn’t understand to this day. That’s what this is. You commit to someone with all their good and bad parts. You can’t just love the good. It has to be all of it.”

     Kennedy was an absolute idiot to think that Sam wasn’t going to find out about what had happened with Charlie earlier. One thing Charlie was never good at was lying. Manipulating people and charming them, he had that covered, but lying to them… well that wasn’t something Charlie knew how to do at all. Kennedy should have realised that the moment that the second that he kissed the other boy. Maybe nothing would have come of a kiss, but Charlie still had admitted that he loved Sam and Kennedy wasn’t just going to let that be for nothing. He had a whole speech prepared for when he went to talk to Sam about what happened… a few months into their marriage, at least. Charlie made it clear that it couldn’t happen again, no matter how right it felt. How could he even explain to Sam that he loved the two of them… equally. And he wanted to be with them both? That wouldn’t go over well with his fiance, he was sure about that. 

     There was something off the moment that Kennedy looked at Sam and he could only imagine what he was thinking. Dammit, Charlie, he thought. Kennedy would be happy with Charlie even if that wasn’t what he wanted. But he would be happy with Charlie. If Sam left him, he’d be devastated at first, but it wouldn’t be that bad to be with the boy he’d been in love with since he met him. There was just one complication… that wasn’t what he wanted. He wanted them all to be happy. He didn’t want to hurt Sam, even if he had. This was more complicated than it needed to be. He hated that. Why was Kennedy so weak? He looked at Sam, sitting on the bed. Sam wasn’t even looking at him anymore. This hurt so much. He sighed and kept standing, trying to figure out what to say that would make things better. There was nothing that he could think that would make this situation even any less terrible. This was his doing and he knew he was going to have to figure out something to say that didn’t hurt Sam any more than he already had. 

     “Where’s Charlie?” he asked, feeling sick. Kennedy took a seat down at his desk and looked at Sam. “Is he… okay?” Did you hurt him? Kennedy wanted to ask, but he couldn’t even ask that because he wasn’t sure what Sam was thinking. Kennedy needed that answered because he couldn’t stand to see either boy hurt, especially hurt by the other. Merlin, why had he done thing? It was terrible, awful, horrible and he felt sick to his stomach. All he wanted to do was run to Patrick and see if the man could make things better. Patrick always could make him feel better. His uncle was a good man. But right now, Kennedy didn’t think he could get away with that. This conversation was going to happen either way, better to get it over with now. At least Sam was listening and wanted to listen. It just wasn’t a conversation that he wanted to have with anyone right now. Kennedy looked at his fiance and down at his ring. Was this over before it even really had a chance? Would Sam ever forgive him? 

     “There’s really nothing I can say to make things better,” he bit down on his bottom lip. “I’m sorry. I was just…” Excuses. Don’t try and excuse this, you dolt. “He told me he loves me. Charlie told me he loves me and I know I love him too.” Don’t say anything about Charlie loving Sam… that’s not your thing to admit, Kennedy thought trying to stay calm, but Sam was crying and he was on the verge of tears himself. Kennedy looked at Sam. “I’ve been in love with him my whole life, Sam. He’s been there for me for almost everything. I love him. You came into my life when I didn’t have Charlie and I was hurt that he didn’t trust me with the truth. I wanted to hate him so badly. So I kissed you. I let myself kiss you so that maybe I could forget about him. It worked… for a while. I fell in love with you, Merlin did I let myself fall so quickly for you. I want to marry you, Sam. If that’s still on the table, I mean. When Charlie kissed me at Christmas, I was angry. But I didn’t realise that I was angry because he kissed me when I was in a relationship, I think I was angry because he took that long to trust me and realise that he loved me back. I didn’t realise that until today. I don’t want to be, because it’s confusing for us all, but I love him back. 

     “Why is such a confusing question because there’s multiple reasons. But I don’t think you really want to know why, do you? You don’t want my excuses and I don’t blame you for that. I want to hate myself for what I did, but I can’t Sam. I love both of you and now I know that I love both of you equally and I know it’s not fair for me to get what I want when I hurt you and put Charlie in an uncomfortable position because he… he’s not like me when it comes to things like sex. But I need both of you in my life. I shouldn’t have done what I did because it hurt you, but I did and I can’t really go back and change that now. I understand if you don’t want to be with me anymore. I’m a horrible awful person and I love you and Charlie. I don’t know what to do because I don’t think this can just be you and me anymore. I need Charlie too and I know I don’t deserve it at all. I don’t, but I just… I think I’ll feel whole if that happens.” Kennedy wasn’t entirely sure when the tears started, but his face was completely flooded with tears streaming down his face. He was about to lose Sam. 

The silence was deafening in itself. It was like there was this void in the room and there was no telling of it’s boundaries. It was more a metaphor for how Sam was feeling at the moment. He could feel Kennedy looking at him. He couldn’t take the eyes on him and it made him feel smaller than he really was. The struggle between his own feelings and what had happened was still churning around in his head as if it were trying to work it all out without anything from Kennedy. He found comfort in the notion that Charlie proposed but it didn’t mean he was okay with it just that easily.

When Kennedy did finally speak it wasn’t what he thought he’d say. Then again he couldn’t blame him for asking what he did. Until today he didn’t even know that he and Charlie had spent any time together past Christmas. He’d known Charlie longer, had more time to care and nourish the relationship they’d shared. And it didn’t help that on their first meeting, Sam clocked him a good one. “Charlie’s fine.” Sam spoke softly, looking up at him finally. At least the thought of making eye contact would reassure Kennedy. At least he hoped so. “He’s laying down in the other room. It’s been quite a day for him.” He hoped the bite in the words stung Kennedy as much as they had him when he finally spoke them.

As much as it hurt, at least from what he felt, Kennedy was being truthful about it. He had the chance to lie and say it wasn’t what it was but he didn’t. In a morbid way he was grateful for it. It wasn’t easy for him as much as it was difficult for Sam. But just because he was being truthful didn’t mean it didn’t still hurt. Sam hadn’t asked anything from him but to be faithful and he hadn’t been. But then again Sam had kissed Charlie. So didn’t that make him as equally guilty? Were there degrees of fault in something like this? He had no idea but he knew that if Kennedy was willing to be this brutally honest then he needed to be as well.

“I’m not going to begin to try and understand where your thought process was Kennedy.” Sam’s hands came down and clenched the bed sheet tightly. He couldn’t let his anger get the better of him in this. “Even if Charlie told you that he loved you that wasn’t an invitation to sleep with him. I’m not mad about you loving him.” It was true he wasn’t. Sam’s face felt like he’d just been thrust into the hot bed of embers after the fire’s flames had finally died down. Drawing in a deep breath he kept going as if that were all he had left. “I’m upset because you crossed the one line I asked you not to. If you’d come to me ...” He couldn’t finish that sentence because he knew he didn’t know how he’d have reacted honestly.

@samuelwarwick

     The room was silent, which was completely fine with Kennedy. It had been a while since he was completely alone in a safe place and honestly, he kind of missed that feeling. It wasn’t like Sam was that far away and same with Charlie. Both boys were only a short distance from him. He was trying not to think about what he’d done earlier, but it was difficult. He knew if Sam find out, that would be the end of their relationship. Kennedy had done the one thing Sam asked him not to do. It was the one thing he’d promised never to do. Yet, he’d done it. All because his best friend – a boy he’d loved his entire life – had said I love you. To Kennedy those words were all powerful. He had always wanted to hear Charlie say those words in more than a friendship way. It was icing on the cake that Charlie loved Sam too. Kennedy was already having illusions of grandeur about the the three of them together. And that’s what he was trying not to think about because nothing had changed.  

     The boy sat up in bed and looked around the room. It was empty beside him in the bed, but he felt comfortable. Kennedy was still tired and felt like he could sleep for years. Though he did miss Sam. He had no idea where the boy was. Kennedy slipped out of bed as difficult as it was because the bed smelled like Sam and he’d missed the boy. The door creaked open. “Sam!” he exclaimed, smiling at the boy that had walked into the room. “Hey, are you okay? You look a little upset. Was the planning a bit stressful? Sorry I just woke up, but I’ll be there tomorrow.” Kennedy reached out and smiled at the boy in front of them. He wrapped his arms around Sam. “I missed you, my love.” 

The knot in his stomach was one he could have done without. It hurt so badly but still made him feel something entirely different. What had just happened? Had he really kissed Charlie after he’d slept with his fiance? Had he really admitted that he wanted to explore a relationship with both he and Kennedy? And to think it’d started so beautifully. Now ... he wasn’t exactly sure what to say or even think about it. And on top of it all he was going to have to confront and explain his part in the entire ordeal to his fiance. Sam just needed to lie down for a while. He couldn’t think straight and the knot felt as though it were about to start forcing up what he’d had for breakfast that morning.

He’d almost wished he’d stayed with Charlie when Kennedy came into view. Of course he was going to be in there. Way to go smart one. Sam swallowed hard as his fiance came towards him and that pang nearly forced him to vomit there on the spot. Before he knew it Kennedy was so close and then they were touching. Instinctively Sam reached for him but quickly settled on leaving his hands lay against his sides. His eyes closed as Kennedy spoke and the lie stung worse than he’d ever imagined it would. 

Sam slowly pulled back from Kennedy knowing that he’d have to explain what was really bothering him. Slowly he drew in a deep breath, the air shaky as he expelled it again. “Kennedy ...” His eyes stung too badly to cry right then but he felt the sensation in his chest. He’d never felt so awful in his entire life, how was he going to even approach this situation. “I just ...” Sam wrapped his arms around himself and moved to sit at the end of the bed. It stung knowing just hours prior they’d been in the midst of making the most of the moments they’d missed. A shiver ran down his back and his gaze returned to Kennedy.