BigRedSamFromNZ

Then I invented Ultraball.

Like you and probably at least another six billion of my fellow humans (I’m leaving a billion room for douchebags, warmongers and general cunts) I’m tired of war but am aware that conflict is an integral part of life. Rather than force ourselves against the inevitable tide then, let us instead direct it to where it does a bit less harm. So I picked Wyoming, and I invented a war substitute.

Here’s a breakdown:

Two teams of 550 players each, all with mounted/implanted GoPro cameras, GPS trackers and interlinked communication systems use whatever they can to find the Ultraball. The Ultraball itself is bright orange, about the size of a basketball, made from a substance a bit like super high bounce and emits a deafening BWEEEEEEEM siren once every 5 minutes. It begins the game hidden somewhere in the approximate centre of the state, the teams start on the eastern and western borders of the state and the first to get it across the opposite border wins. Helicopters observe the action with a variety of cameras, thermal, nightvision etc, and viewers can watch all GoPro and communication feeds. Voting is ISP address locked though that’s the limit of voter fraud prevention. The teams can do whatever it takes to get this to happen though there are a few important rules which is why the rest of the planet watches and functions as referee.

DECLARATION

For a state to declare a game of Ultraball against another state, a Gorillagram of Intent must be sent to announce the challenge. If the challenged state agrees, the next year will be set as the game year and no more subsequent challenges can be declared. State leaders will meet to touch the ceremonial First Ultraball which, legend has it, was handed down to us by the alien race that built Canberra. At this point the stakes will be agreed upon and the game will be locked. Pointing out that the first Ultraball was within living memory and that the legend is made up is punishable by Ultrahanging, which is a normal hanging but the other end of the noose is attached to a loaded cannonball.

A state has the right to refuse but if it is challenged twice in a row it must accept the second challenge. That only one challenge can be issued per year and that one cannot refuse twice in a row plays into the meta-strategy of the sport.

Once accepted, the state can pick its team in any way it sees fit. It can field less than the maximum 550 players if it chooses.

THE RULES

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For a penalty to be applied, the team that feels it was wronged must object within one hour of the occurrence of the foul. The penalty vote is given to the planet as a simple YES/NO. Failure to register a complaint before the hour time limit has elapsed means the offending team got away with it. Tough.  

This is technically not a bloodsport, if it was then we may well just throw a ball at a regular war, so murder is out and all weaponry used by team members must be classified as non-lethal. Tazers? Sure. Pistols? No. Batons? Sure. Swords? No. Fairly simple. Again though, you have to be caught, so while these are forbidden the cost/benefit analysis of their use is up to the players on the team.

While murder is punishable, manslaughter perfectly understandable. So while you can’t steal a car and run a player over, if you are fighting another player for the car, kick them out and they die from their injuries, fair play. If the planet decides to penalize a team for active murder, the penalized team immediately incurs a 100 player penalty and the players are selected at random.

The state of Wyoming and the people who live in it have rights, the place doesn’t get cleared out and this is not the post-apocalyptic wastes. Gameplay cannot disrupt the function of civilian spaces or peoples, should a team be deemed to have done this, they forfeit the game. Each team can call this foul only once per game as can the State. This is the only action the state can take within the game and is up for vote like everything else.

Local law enforcement agencies are forbidden from directly interfering with the game but if they observe a law being broken they can arrest the player/s responsible. They may not investigate or follow up reports of crimes, they must be directly observed. PvP violence, thefts, brawls, civilian life disruption, anything that crosses a local law can result in a player being arrested and removed from the game. Players are forbidden from resisting arrest, doing so is a 20 player penalty.

Non-players/civilians are forbidden from touching the ball. To ensure this, only players have the wrist-mounted identifiers that keep the ball from lethally electrocuting people.

Civilians can be unwittingly used, the ball can be placed on a bus or in someone’s car for instance, but anything deemed active participation from non-players is a 200 player penalty for the team and banishment to the asteroid mines for the civilians.

Gaming this system is rare due to the surveillance but is nonetheless punishable by a 200 player penalty.

Deliberately obstructing cameras or surveillance equipment is a 50 player penalty.

State interference in the game is an immediate forfeit and a 100 person handicap their next game.

There is no appeal tribunal for rulings. States that fail to adhere to the stated stakes are blacklisted for the next 5 years which means a total trade and citizen movement embargo.

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