malec,snowbaz,wesper shipper

or alternately if you’re a show fan, the Inquisitor and the High Warlock of Alicante are married and happy and in love

or if you’re a fan of both, then both these things!

Phillip: Do you think I could fit 15 marshmallows in my mouth?

Eliza: You are a hazard to society.

The House today:

Random person: *sees Mark with Cristina* “So you’re dating her?”

Mark: “Yes.”

Random person: *sees Mark with Kieran* “So you’re dating him?”

Mark: “Yes.”

Random person: “I don’t get it. Who are you with? Cristina, Kieran?”

Random person: *sees Mark with Cristina* “So you’re dating her?”

Mark: “Yes.”

Random person: *sees Mark with Kieran* “So you’re dating him?”

Mark: “Yes.”

Random person: “I don’t get it. Who are you with? Cristina, Kieran?”

Simon, sneaking up on Isabelle: Tickle, tickle, tickle!

Isabelle: *twisting Simon’s wrist* What the hell, Simon.

Simon: I think you sprained señor tickle!

Isabelle: Next time, I break it off.

—–

Jace *about Simon*: How much you guys want to pay for me to stick my socks in this morons mouth?

Alec: I will

Simon: Did Alec Lightwood, the Consul of the Clave, just bid $1,000 to put a sock in my mouth?

Alec: You bet

—-

Kit: Hey, Ty, you better file me under E for *spins* edgy.

—-

Kit: You’re lying in rat turds.

Jace, trying to act cool: It’s all part of the job little brother, all part of the job.

—-

Kit: *weird, squeaking noise*

Ty: That’s his disagreement squeak.

—-

Kit: I know how we’re going to blend in.

Livvy: Don’t say thrift store.

Kit: Thrift store!

—-

Clary: You’ve been back there five times, what are you gonna’ do? Annoy him into talking?

Jace: Ha ha.

Jace, in the interrogation room with Simon’s guitar: 1, 2, 3, 4 *strumming and screaming*

Jace, coming back out with Simon’s guitar: Didn’t work.

—-

Magnus: What are you doing tonight?

Alec: Nothing. What are you doing tonight?

Magnus: Nothing.

Alec: Well, I hope you find something to do. *nervous laugh* I’m gonna’ pee. That’s what I’m doing tonight.

—-

Julian, wearing a fake baby bump thing: *gasp* Don’t you dare touch Emma Junior

Emma: *gasp*

Julian: That’s right it’s your baby.

Emma: Are you saying I knocked you up?

Julian: You sure did *fake crying*

—-

Alec: Do you want to know how I actually sprained my wrist?

Clary: yes.

Alec: I was hula-hooping. Magnus and I attend a class for fitness and for fun.

Clary: Oh my God

Alec: I’ve mastered all the moves. The pizza toss, the tornado, the Scorpion, the Oopsie Doodle

Clary: Why are you telling me this?

Alec: Because no one will ever believe you.

—-

Jace: Did you get my report on the murder?

Magnus: Yeah, good job.

Jace: Good, thanks, dad.

Jace: Why is everyone staring at me?

Clary: You just called Magnus dad.

Alec: You said ‘thanks, dad.’

Jace: What? No, I didn’t. I said ‘thanks, man.’

Magnus: Do you see me as a father figure, Jace?

Jace: No. If anything I see you as a bother figure because you’re always bothering me.

Simon: Hey, show your father some respect.

Jace: I didn’t call him dad!

Mark: It’s not a big deal. I called Cristina mom once.

Jace: Guys, jump on that. Mark has physcho sexual issues.

Cristina: That’s old news.

Simon: But you calling Magnus daddy-

Jace: Daddy is not on the table here.

Jace’s suspect: You did call him dad, dude.

Jace: You shut up you’ve done nothing but lie since you got here.

Jace’s suspect: Alright, alright, I was lying about the hold-up, but the dad thing? That happened.

Jace: Aha! He admitted that his alibi was a lie. It was a trap. All part of my crazy devious plan.

Magnus: I believe you.

Jace: Thank you.

Magnus: Son. You wanna talk about it later over a game of catch?

Jace, really fast: I’d like that.

—-

Will: No hard feelings but I hate you. Not joking. Bye!

Gabriel Lightwood:

—-

Jace: My dad said always the bad news first because the good news is probably a lie. Fun fact, he made me cry a lot.

—-

Emma: BingPOT

Emma: Nope, I was gonna’ say bingo but then I was like jackpots better, but then it was too late I was halfway through the word.

Cristina: Bingpot works, it’s taking off

Emma: It’s taking off

—-

Jace: You have 24 hours, beef baby.

Simon: Simon.

Jace: Beef baby

Simon: Simon

Jace: Beef baby

Simon: Simon

Jace: Beef. Baby.

Simon:

Simon:

Simon: … beef baby.

—-

Matthew: You’re never going to believe this, I’ve been reading.

James: Reading? Like, books? By real authors?

Matthew: I don’t know, is Philip Roth a real author?

James: Ooooh my goodness. I wish you had gone to prison years ago.

🏵- personalized moodboard

🏵- personalized moodboard