posting like it's 2013

hello i'm avery and this is my spn blog. I FOLLOW FROM @BUDDYAPOLOGIST so if you see that url in your likes/asks that's meeeee. welcome to the mess!

read my about!

NSFW!!! absolutely no minors!! and I make some insanely weird nsfw txt posts on occasion so. fair warning

i've only watched thru s9 so all of my opinions/interpretations are based on those seasons. might watch more but idkkkk. might just be good here lol

avery.txt is my text post tag

averywriting is for posts about and snippets of stuff i'm working on

averyfics is for actual fics, warning for nsfw stuff!

my fics can also be found on my ao3 if you prefer!

i'm insanely hyperfixated on samifer but i'm also a samdean guy on occasion so if that bothers you just block me/blacklist wincest

if you want me to see something either @ me or send me an ask! DMs are also open for mutuals anytime!

like if a little gray alien showed up and said "i belong to a hivemind where i can hear everyone all the time and we can communicate without speaking, we diligently follow our father's law because he created us and this is our duty as a species and going against his law is unthinkable and intolerable, our moral code is entirely structured around our father's orders, we can and will cause harm if we are ordered to do so, we do not think for ourselves", you would probably be weirded out but it's believable. but if something that looks like a human said all that, even if you know they aren't human, the fact that they look and sound like one makes everything uniquely disturbing.

i mean when we think about the inherent horror and lack of autonomy in vesselhood we usually think about the humans who are usually coerced/tricked/forced into being vessels, but there's horror from the angel perspective too - you have to cram your entire being into this form you don't identify with and that limits you, speak in a voice that isn't yours, and don't forget that Thee order was for angels to love humans above all else, but when their father's orders require them to take vessels, because those orders supersede everything else, they have to hurt humans in the process! i'm certainly not arguing for a suffering contest but i can't imagine that angels like taking human vessels. but if it's to carry out their father's law, welp, gotta do it!

like if an angel regrets hurting a human because they were ordered to love them, is that proof that they do actually love them? were angels truly able to force that emotion because of their duty to their father, because their moral code revolves around his decisions? when they do have to hurt a human, do they mentally justify it as part of some greater good, hurting a few to help the majority? do they genuinely interpret that pain as an expression of their love? or is it strictly an "i was following orders" situation where it's like what i said earlier and their love for humans is below other direct orders in some kind of hierarchy? i would say there's evidence for the greater good theory if you look at the apocalypse, where tons of people would have died regardless of the outcome, it'd just be significantly less if michael won. so not only does michael have to carry out this fight because he's been ordered to and therefore it's the right thing to do, he also has to cause some harm to prevent more harm.