Sam * Esme

*sigh*

Sam * Esme turned 4 today!

***apparently it has been 4 years since I started this blog.

I've been meat free since January 5th.

Yup.

Well, maybe. I recently had a conversation over this topic with my co-workers, and it came to light that apparently girls are really keen and good at stalking. I suppose that might be true, at least for the majority of the current young female population, but I don’t know… stalking/stalker have such negative connotations to them that I think I shy away from describing myself or any my activities in such way. However, if I must be somewhat honest, I think I’m a little stalkerish? I wouldn’t say obsessively, but overall, I do like peeking into people’s lives. I wouldn’t even say I’m good at it, at least not anywhere near as good as my co-workers (one found out her guy had been married and was still living in his ex-wife’s house, and another found her friend’s bf’s had a girl on the side…. yeah…haha), and I even feel sort of guilty doing it sometimes, or kind of crazy. But I definitely partake of it on some level. It’s a bit fun, until you realize that maybe someone has done it to you or will at one point in your life, except I know for a fact I lead a very boring existence and let’s be honest, who really wants to know what test I’m studying for next? No one, that’s whom.

I've been listening to his music for a little while now, but I had yet to see of video of him live, until now...

Tumblr looks so different, haha. Anyway, in true Sam fashion (speaking in the third person makes me sound like a jerk, right?), I am posting for the first time in a good few months, because I have nothing better to do than be on the internet. Well, that's not necessarily true, I should be sleeping since I have to attend three classes in the morning before I go to work in the afternoon... But yeah, insomnia...

I don't have much substantial to share. I am still in school, I am still working, and I'm still complaining about life. Ugh, right? Haha... 

To be honest, I feel like I miss posting on here, and in some ways, journaling on here. I suppose I find it nice to have a place to go to where I can document, and know that it will still be here for me to visit and reminisce whenever I feel like it. 

Lately, I feel that so much of my life is routine, and you know what (imaginary audience) I have never come to terms with whether I like routine or dislike it. I guess there are many ways in which I enjoy routine, but then again, there are many ways in which I get bored with it. Maybe it is more about finding a happy medium between routine and new and exciting shit, I don't know? Maybe it depends on the type of person one is... but in my life right now, there is definitely more of a routine thing going on and I'm beginning to despise it. I just wish something awesome would happen, like "life-changing", but in a positive way.

It may seem out of place for me to mention this (because it most likely is) but when I wrote "life-changing" just a few seconds ago, I paused and thought for a moment if I would really want something like that in my life. Then I added, "in a positive way". Recently, about a month ago, I found out that someone I knew hung herself. I guess it's been on my mind a lot lately, too. How incredibly life changing that is for those who loved her. The reactions of the people that knew her well (and not so well) were strange to me, but it goes without saying that I have found a sense of fear in all of this. I could elaborate much more on my thoughts, but it would probably be best if I didn't, at least not right now. 

I think I should, in fact, try to sleep. I apologize for all the grammatical/spelling errors, I am pretty much insomniac and real slow in the brain and fingers if you know what I mean... I hope to get on here soon again. If insomnia persists, I probably will.

It has been a long while since I posted on this tumblr. Quite honestly, I've been over a few of the media sites for quite some time now. I don't know what it is, I'm just losing interest? I guess it's just information overload. I have even started to leave the house without my phone so that I can disconnect for a while. 

On a different note, it has been awfully hot recently. I wish it would rain, and I don't even like rain, but I just get tired of the same shit everyday. Sun-heat-sun-heat-and then more sun... you get the picture, and chances are that you're probably going through the same process. 

Finally.

Btw, I got a tattoo on friday and my wrist is swollen. It still looks nice though, I just wish the swelling wood go away already, but we'll see...